Maskwitness Reviews
by Agimat-AltoSax713
Summary: Inspired by all the critics out there, Dimentio713 a.k.a Me attempts to review random things and attempts to survive though the worse forms of media thrown at him or me. The Final Review.
1. Lucky Star Episode 1

**Just a head's up. **

_Italics=what is happening in the form of media_

Normal=what is happening in the review

* * *

"Hello and welcome to Maskwitness Reviews!" A boy with a Mario t-shirt and demin pants and glasses was seen, "With Dimentio713! Well since I'm officially part of Planet Insania, I guess that I should introduce myself and do other stuff… let's get started!"

**Why are you doing this?**

"Well, I'm doing this because I was inspired by the folks at TGWTG (ThatGuyWithTheGlasses) and the Insane Critic."

**What is Planet Insania?**

"Planet Insania is a group of people who review stuff"

**When's the review coming?**

Dimentio713 looked at his watch, he put a finger up and then said, "Right about… now!"

* * *

**Lucky Star: Episode 1 Maskwitness Review!**

* * *

"Alright, let's look into Lucky Star!" Dimentio713 was seen with a computer and looked at the camera once more, "Yeah… I'm watching this blind…"

* * *

_Some Japanese characters were seen and a random cat_

So anyways this is mainly an anime about four girls who go through high school and the theme song is pretty catchy… even though it's about Japanese schoolgirl's clothing… or something like that…

_A Japanese schoolgirl's clothes were seen_

Alright that was weird…

_Then a person was seen shooting a gun up in the air _

And there's something completely random

_Girls start running_

And I'm guessing that's PE… they have PE in Japan? Well, I've never been there so I'm not one to judge…

_Konata: Cause if I got on a team and started playing sports… I would miss my prime time anime shows_

* * *

"So yeah… this character is an otaku… you know… I really dislike the format previously… maybe I should change it…" Dimentio713 pondered for a bit and then looked at the camera,

"So anyways the episode is called the Girl Who Dashes Off… and it has nothing to do with running! It's just this… 5 minutes of anime girls talking…"

Dimentio713 went close to the camera… "5 minutes of anime girls talking… about how to eat food… Why? Talking about food is boring… why don't they do something… Fight? Play a card game? Talk about friendship? Make contact with the spirit world? Is there any explanation?"

Dimentio713 went to his computer and started to go on Wikipedia, "OH!" Dimentio713 shouted, "It's a slice of life anime… I don't talk about food…"

* * *

_**Cutaway Gag**_

Dimentio713 was seen talking to Fawful212 (A boy with Fawful-esque glasses and a black cloak)

"So how do you eat ice cream?" Dimentio713 asked his friend

"With a fork… why?" Fawful212 replied

"…I don't know…" Dimentio said

_**End Gag**_

* * *

"So they continue talking… about people who attempt to do bad things to women… Dumb monsters who want to do unspeakable horrors to people… Excuse for a moment" Dimentio713 left the area and went outside and screams of terror were heard, "Sorry, I needed to kill this guy… He was a, as Deadpool would say, a Chester…continue the boring anime…"

"So they talk… about mistakes… and Konata says that this pink haired girl whose name is Miyuki is a Moe and clumsy equals really hot..." Dimentio713 then noticed Dimentia713 and she was seen tripping and accidentally hitting herself.

"What the…" Dimentio713 pondered and said, "What are you doing?"

Dimentia713 looked around and answered, "I have no idea… I'm gonna go now… See ya…"

Dimentio713 looked at the camera, "Weird… Back to the review… So Konata breaks the fourth wall or something… okay… and then Konata and this girl named Tsukasa notice that Mikuru is getting contacts…"

Dimentio713 then looked at the camera with an intense look on his face, "OR IS SHE?" Thunder was heard and lightning came with it

Dimentio713 then looked around, "What the… so Tsukasa and Konata are seen talking and they talk about the difference between the flu and the cold is… mainly because Tsukasa's sister, Kagami, has the flu… and they go to ask Mikuru…"

(M. Bison: OF COUSRE!)

"And they talk so more… this is boring… and now they enter the house and…"

* * *

_Kagami: Oh this makes me so happy… she's so worried about me because of that new virus going around…_

What the pineapple?

_I thought the only things she cared about were games and anime…_

What the pineapple is happening?

_But now, this is so touching…_

Holy pineapple! Is she…?

_Konata: Okay, I'm gonna copy that homework we got the other day, but you don't need toget up you cute little face you…_

_Kagami: Out_

What the pineapple just happened?

* * *

"So we have a strange anime in our hands people…" Dimentio713 was looking around and looked nervous… "I'm going to go to the bathroom to wash the shame…"

**20 minutes later**

"All better now… where were we? Oh! So people visit Kagame… blah, blah, blah… this is boring… Boring! Boring!" Dimentio713 started to panic, "DO SOMETHING"

_Scene changes_

"THANK YOU!" Dimentio713 was seen dancing, "A new scene! And they're talking about how heavy they are… and Kagami is in denial… Tsukasa is embarrassed… Konata is still short"

(Ed: Who are you calling short!)

"I'm not talking to you... midget!"

(Ed: Oh yeah! Can a midget do this!)

Dimentio713 got thrown back to the wall, "What the… back to the review… and Mikuru is happy! And everybody else is mad at her… mean!"

"So they talk about friends and Konata talks about a MMORPG… and they talk about more stuff… and they keep talking about games… and now they talking about the anime… and now they talk about food… again! I hate this anime! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!" Dimentio713 then screamed out loud and went into insanity mode, screaming causing Dimentia713 to hold him back and BKFood also had to help out too!

* * *

**5 hours later**

"Sorry about the outbreak… this anime is stupid…"

* * *

_Random voice: LUCKY CHANNEL!_

What the…

_A pink haired girl appeared and she started talking… _

_Pink haired girl: Hiya luckies!_

…Hi…

_It's time for the first ever episode of Lucky Channel! So throw up your hands in the air and say yay!_

Yay…

_I'm Akira Kogami and I'll be your navigator!  
_

Huh, interesting…

_Brown haired dude: And I'm… Shiraishi…_

_Akira looked at him and said, "Who's that?"_

Cruel…

"_Just kidding! Allow me to introduce Minoru Shiraishi! And he's gonna be my number 1 assistant! Dun-dun-dun!"_

Why do I have high hopes for this part?

_Shiraishi: Yeah, I am Minoru Shiraishi and I'll be Akira-san's assistant from now on… Howdy_

I would quit that job…

_Akira: My, my! Don't be so tense Shiraishi-san, you're finally on TV! Listen up, you big stick in the mud you! (hits him lightly) Kidding!_

Don't tell me they're just gonna talk…

_Shiraishi: ...By the way I have a question for Akira-san, you are referred to a super idol to every one including your self. How much money do you make as an idol, please tell me…_

_Akira looks shocked, "What I'm paid?"_

Huh?

_Shiraishi: Yes, y'know, this question's kinda personal so I think we should move on…_

_Akira then talked calmly and had a bit of a teenage voice to her, "Yeah, y'know. What are you thinking asking a question like that?"_

_Shiraishi: (Looking surprised) Akira-sama!_

_Akira: Some gigs are cheap, some are really cheap, either way, I'm paid a flat fee from the production company so who knows how much money those guys are skimming over the top…_

Our hero, ladies and gentlemen! A sarcastic teenage has-been idol who acts like a demon!

* * *

"So yeah… this anime isn't really good, in my opinion… but this episode is the first one! I can't rate it just by the first one! Besides, Lucky Channel is pretty interesting… Well, this has been Maskwitness Reviews! See ya L-ater!

* * *

_**Pros:**_

_Animation looks cartoony… I like it_

_First episode_

_Lucky Channel!_

_**Cons:**_

_No plot_

_Boring_

_Has no linear storyline_

The cons are understandable because this is a slice of life anime…

**So did you guys like this? Be sure to review! Oh and FYI, pineapple will commonly replace swear words... I don't swear... at all!**


	2. Top 11 Rhythm Heaven Songs!

**It is strongly suggested that you play music at the designated areas… it helps the review… and since I suck at artwork… I ask that you make your own visuals… Also, I don't own Rhythm Heaven... Nintendo does!**

* * *

Dimentio713 was seen in a hospital playing his Nintendo DS in a Brain Age fashion, "I LOVE THIS GAME!" He cried out. "Oh, hey, guys recently I've been playing Rhythm Heaven, an amazing game! So, I've decided to give a list of my Top 11 Rhythm Heaven songs… but my leg is broken… courtesy of Lt. Strait… I hate him…"

_**Flashback**_

Dimentio713 was putting down a glass of milk… without a coaster… Lt. Strait then came out of nowhere and exclaimed, "PUT YOUR DRINK ON A COASTER!" and tackled the unfortunate teen…

_**End Flashback**_

"I seriously hate Strait… So anyways… there is a guest appearance coming soon… right around now…" Dimentio713 then looked at the door and a boy of around 18, although looking 16, came in. He was wearing a green t-shirt, demin pants, and glasses, he looked a bit white… with black hair…

"Hey, Kits!" Dimentio713 exclaimed

"Dimentio, I got here as fast as I can… what do you need?" Kits answered.

"I'm doing my Top 11 Rhythm Heaven Songs!" Dimentio713 answered

"Um… okay… why do you need me?" Kits asked.

"You could have a guest appearance… anyhow, welcome to Maskwitness Reviews! With Dimentio713!" Dimentio713 exclaimed, "Where rhythm is beast!"

"And don't forget about Kit!" Kit exclaimed.

"Now, Rhythm Heaven is game that was originally released on the Nintendo Game Boy Advance, it was, from what I see… good." Dimentio commented then, Kit took the flag.

"Unfortunately, it was released in Japan… so we never got an English version…" Kit then looked at his DS, "Then in the daintily year of 2009, which was full of deaths, came Rhythm Heaven, for the Nintendo DS, it was a fun pick up and play, but the truth of the matter is…"

"THAT THE SONGS WERE AWESOME!" Dimentio interrupted… and screamed in pain…

"My legs…" he said weakly, "Oh, and I'm doing top 11 because we are all copycats…"

* * *

A picture similar to DJ School from Rhythm Heaven was seen (Kit took the place of DJ Yellow, who had his arms up, and Dimentio was seen putting his hand on the disc, similar to that of DJ Blue)

**Maskwitness Reviews: Top 11 Rhythm Heaven Songs**

(Rhythm Heaven: Menu 1)

* * *

_Number 11_

… _Dog Ninja_

(Dog Ninja Plays)

"Now, this song is so catchy! I mean come on! It's amazing! Who ever did this is amazing!" Kit commented, "The visuals go great with it too! I mean, a dog combined with a ninja! That's awesome!" Kit exclaimed.

"The only reason this is so low is that well it's not really as catchy… but it's fun to listen too… listen to it now!" Dimentio exclaimed.

(A picture of Dimentio713 was shown, with a sword and slicing some veggies)

"Dog Ninja… a dog and a ninja… epicness awaits you…"

_Number 10_

… _Fan Club 2 (Japanese version)_

(Fan Club 2, Japanese version, plays)

"Monkeys… A cute girl singing in Japanese… That's what this song is made of… Now, in English… it's this…"

_**Hey now, here is my song**__**  
**__**For you, that's right.**_

_**I wish that I was yours**__**  
**__**But I'm too shy, I suppose.**_

_**If only I could just conjure a spell.**__**  
**__**Kapow! Hocus, hocus, hocus!**_

_**Then you and I would be**__**  
**__**Together for all time, I supose.**_

_**Is it love that makes my heart go**__**  
**__**Boom, boom, boom?**_

_**Yeah, I suppose!**__**  
**__**Love you, love you, love you!**_

"If you really want to hear this… go to Youtube… however… I really have no qualms against this…" Dimentio commented

"But I do!" Kit exclaimed, "It just sounds really annoying!"

"So yeah… the English version sounds like the girl is bored… the Japanese sounds cute!" Dimentio713 exclaimed

(A picture of Dimentio713, in his Dimentio form, was seen clapping his hands while the girl was singing the song)

_Number 9_

… _Love Lab_

(Love Lab plays)

Kit and Dimentio713 were looking confused… Dimentio then broke the silence

"This songs sounds good with a straight pairing… but with both of us…" Kit and Dimentio then backed away from each other…

"Neither the less… this is a good song… sounds like it's from NSync or something…" Dimentio commented…

"I feel Ho Yay…" Kit said.

"I feel Squick… It's disturbing how we're in a hospital…"

_**Meanwhile with Dimentia713**_

"I really wish D713 was here…" Dimentia713 commentated with iPod in hand, "The song I'm listening to really seems to romance me…" It was then revealed that she was listening to Love Lab

_**Back at the hospital**_

"I'm gonna change this now…" Kit commented.

(Dimentio713 was with a flask… putting it in a box, all the while two lab coated scientists were seen on a bicycle)

_Number 8_

… _Shoot-'em-up 2_

(Shoot-'em-up 2 plays)

"Aliens that invade with beat… strange… but fun!" Dimentio713 commented, "Now the whole scenario is that aliens are invading…"

(M. Bison: OF COURSE!)

"And you have to beat them!" Kit exclaimed and then pondered for a bit, "Where did that voice come from?"

"What voice?" Dimentio asked, "Oh! That voice! It's my gags! So anyways the whole game is just shooting stuff in a beat… kind of like Elite Beat Agents!"

"I love EBA!" Kit exclaimed, "I also enjoy Ouendan!"

(Kit was seen alerting the Commander of the Rhythm Defense [a name I made up…])

_Number 7_

… _Blue Birds_

(Blue Birds plays)

"Now this one is mainly about just birds and pecking their beaks… but it's so darn catchy!" Dimentio713 commentated.

"It's very Russian-like…" Kits commentated…

_**At where Sgt. Systema lives…**_

"…" Systema was silent and watching Blue Birds

_**End…**_

"So yeah… countinue…" Dimentio then pointed to the next one…

(A picture of Dimentio was seen over heard the birds training…)

_Number 6_

… _Remix 1_

(Remix 1 plays)

"To put this simply, this is a remix of the first four songs of the games… and it's pretty fun…" Kit commentated…

"Next one?" Dimentio asked

"Yeah…"

(The two were seen eating food)

_Number 5_

… _Munchy Monk_

(Mucny Monk plays)

"So this one is about a monk that eats stuff and grows facial hair…" Dimentio713 was then seen with a moustache…

"It's very catchy… and very much tuney…" Kits explained.

"It's funny that we have moustaches now…" Dimentio713 then looked back and noticed that they ate food, "Weird…"

(The two were seen being rejected by a couple of monks)

_Number 5  
… Karate Man 2_

(Karate Man 2 plays)

"Well, this one is very catchy… and seems to be a bit of a love song… but hey! It's awesome!" Dimentio713 said.

"And it's red too!" Kits added

(A picture of Kits punching an item was seen)

_Number 4_

… _Airboarder _

(Airboarder plays)

"Now this one can be named the pseudo-ending theme for this game… it plays during the credits… and it's playable! Very catchy!" Dimentio said.

"I wonder if that was their intent…" Kits said

"And if they are riding the Air Gear in Sonic Riders…" Dimentio said

(Flashes picture of Air Gear and the hoverboard in Airboarder)

"Oh well… it was nice…" Kits said

(Dimentio713 and Kits were seen ducking under some toy bricks on a hoverboard)

_Number 3_

… _Built to Scale 2_

"There are only two songs that I love more than this!" Dimentio713 said, "I mean who doesn't love listening to the musical scale!"

(Crickets chirp)

"Okay, who loves it fast paced!" Dimentio begged.

"It doesn't really matter Dimentio…" Kits said, "You like it! So you must be interested!"

"Maybe…" Dimentio713 said.

"Alright next one! And I really disagree with these!" Kits said.

_Number 2_

… _DJ School_

(DJ School plays)

"Hey! Come on! Ummph! Scratch-o! Hey!" Dimentio713 screamed.

"Yeah… this is one of the must popular of the rhythm games because it had DJ Yellow, a cartoon who loves to teach DJ Blue… or so I hear…" Kits said, "So DJ School is catchy and gave Dimentio713 powers of annoyance for some reason…"

"HEY! COME ON! SCRATCH-O!" Dimentio713 was really hyper and started to go all out and he fell to the ground… "Oh… Kits… I need help…"

Kits then helped Dimentio713 up,

"Next time…" Kits said, "Don't do that…"

"Okay…" Dimentio said weakly.

_Number 1_

… _Remix 10_

(Remix 10 Plays)

"Ah, yes… Remix 10, the final remix, the final exam…" Dimentio713 said.

"Enough with the cryptic jokes, Dimentio!" Kits said, "So yeah this is Remix 10, the last level and Dimentio713 hasn't beaten it yet…"

"Hey!" Dimentio retorted.

"Heck, there have even been different versions of Remix 10!" Kits exclaimed, "Like Lucky Star and Ed, Edd, and Eddy!"

"…" Dimentio was silent at the mention of Lucky Star.

"It's pretty much a medley…" Kits explained.

"And I love medleys!" Dimentio exclaimed, so here's a list of the minigames that comprise of this medley!"

* * *

You can skip this you know...

**Karate Man**

**Moai doo wop**

**Crop Stomp**

**Built to Scale**

**The Dazzles**

**Love Lab**

**Love Lizards**

**Splashdown**

**Rhythm Rally**

**Rockers**

**Blue Birds**

**Space Soccer**

**Shoot 'Em Up**

**Lockstep**

**Fan Club**

**Airboarding**

**Glee Club**

**Fillbots**

**Munchy Monk**

**Drummer Duel**

**Frog Hop**

**Big Rock Finish**

**Freeze Frame**

**DJ School**

**Dog Ninja**

**Karate Man**

You actually read all of that? You must be bored!

* * *

"… That's a long list…" Kit said.

"Yeah… So this has been Maskwitness Reviews! See ya L-ater!" Dimentio exclaimed

* * *

…

…

…That's it... it's the end...

…

…

…

…

…

…

... If you can read this... you don't need glasses

…

…

… Why are you reading this?...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.afdsakfj[jdsafma

Admfo[dsaf

Videl

Pizza Hut

317otinemoD

Mafds'faf'mdasfmds

Joshhfdasfsadfhdajs

fhaea

Pinnesa a

I like pie

Ma;dfsa

* * *

Rhythm League Results:

Great beginning… but the ending could have been better…

**Try Again**

(A picture of Dimentio713 being slapped by Kits was seen under it said this:)

I should review next time…

* * *

**Kits' first introduction! Just so you know… we're cousins… that's why we were close… and disturbed by the Love Lab song… and my true love is Dimentia713 (for now… and no, I will not be homosexual! I am hetrosexual!)**

**Happy Thanksgiving!**


	3. Sonic X Episode 1

"Hello and welcome to Maskwitness Reviews where… I check it out because I feel like it!" Dimentio713 exclaimed, "I am so sorry for my very long hiatus from Maskwitness Reviews! I was lazy… yeah… Don't worry! Team Diamond, Shadow Fury, Planet Hill, and Maskwitness Reviews will be updated ASAP! I just need to write them down first… and I'm so sorry for no Christmas special for Maskwitness Reviews! Sonic Colors is so addicting! Anyway, on the note of Sonic the Hedgehog… I love Sonic the Hedgehog! I mean, he's the guy who got me into really wanting a Nintendo Gamecube! After all… Sonic Adventure 2: Battle really had an affect on me… along with Sonic Heroes… In fact I think that I should really do something big…" Dimentio713 pondered for a bit and then said, "I really need a theme song… I don't care much really though…"

DAL 9000 whose his appearance was similar to that of HAL 9000, but he had a blue eye in the middle, appeared,

"**Shouldn't you be getting to your review?"** it asked.

"Sorry… wait a moment! What are you doing here?" Dimentio713 asked

"**I am here to help you…"** DAL 9000 said.

"Pish posh!" Dimentio713 exclaimed, "I don't need help!"

"**Do you know what you're reviewing?" **DAL 9000 asked.

"… Not really…" Dimentio713 said.

"**Sonic X…" **DAL said.

"Sonic X isn't that bad! I mean…" Dimentio then noticed one thing… the 4Kid's symbol… Dimentio looked at DAL

"Crud…" Was all he could say,

* * *

_Dimentio713 was seen running away from some lasers and DAL 9000 in a ball was following him…_

**Maskwitness Reviews: Sonic X, Episode 1**

* * *

"So this anime is mainly about Sonic and his friends, going to Earth! And this is the first episode. Now this series brings back memories of waking up at 10 o'clock and watching this series… mainly because it had Sonic in it… Now the first episode is called Chaos Control Freaks, which is a really bad pun…" Dimentio713 explained.

DAL 9000's single eye looked at Dimentio713, **"Really, 10 o'clock?"**

"Shut up!"

* * *

_Big the Cat was seen with his friend Froggy and noticed sounds coming from a tower_

And this is how the story begins… with Big the Cat… one of the most hated characters in any given Sonic games… which is a fitting beginning for this series… So we see the familiar shape of shoes heading off and these robots coming at said pairs of shoes

_The two robots are seen_

Wait a moment…

**What?**

Those look familiar…

(Picture of Portal robots was seen…)

Nah…

_Many warheads were seen, and Sonic started to run._

Here comes the blue blur himself Sonic the Hedgehog!

(Snake: Kept you waiting huh?)

Snake? What's he doing here?

**Don't ask… the gag appeared…**

_So these two robots start shooting at Sonic… while a tune was heard, it sounded like this: Do doo de de de de deeeeeeee._

Get used to that tune folks…It appears a million times!

* * *

"So tons of missiles, strangely not censored from 4Kids, come straight at Sonic while millions of lasers keep blasting at him," Dimentio713 explained.

(Sonic: You're too slow!)

"**The missile miss Sonic and this robot thinks it can shoot at him… all the while the annoying tune is heard… Like Dimentio713 said, get used to it…"** DAL 9000 said.

"So Sonic jumps on the robot… apparently he can do that now… What is he frikkin' Mario or something?" Dimentio713 complained, "So they keep shooting at him with that annoying song playing over and over again! And more robots appear, or rather wake up from stasis condition!"

"**I hope they kill the person making that tune…" **DAL 9000 said.

"So the robots pop up from the ground and start chasing Sonic… and the title music starts… and admittedly it sounds awesome… it brings back nostalgia…"

* * *

_**Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! Gotta go fast! Gotta go fast! Gotta go faster, faster, faster, faster!**_

_**(Short guitar solo)**_

_**Moving at speed of sound, quickest hedgehog around, got ourselves a situation, stuck in a new location, without any explanation…**_

_**No time for relaxation!**_

_**Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't, don't blink, don't think, Just go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!**_

_**(Instrumental)**_

_**Sonic, he's on the run.**_

_**Sonic, he's number one!**_

(Waluigi: Walugi number one!)

… Okay who put that there?

**I don't know… Continue the music… **

_**Sonic! He's coming next so look out for Sonic X!**_

_**Gotta go fast! (Sonic)**_

_**Gotta go fast! (Sonic)**_

_**Gotta go faster, faster, faster, faster, faster.**_

_**Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Sooooooooonic X! (Sonic, Sonic) **_

_**Gotta go faster, Gotta go fast, gotta go faster, faster, faster, faster!**_

_**SONIC X!**_

* * *

Dimentio713 was at tears, "Brings back memories… of fanboying over Shadow the Hedgehog…"

DAL 9000's one eye was looking at him

"… Look I was young back then alright!"

DAL 9000 then continued commentating, "**So Sonic is still on the run from those robots and that annoying sounds repeats itself!"**

Dimentio713 interrupted, "And another robot comes! And Sonic goes inside a door way… and ends up on a spring with Dr. Eggman's face on it…"

"**And we get Sonic's voice actor in this series!"**

* * *

_Sonic: (Groans from being hit by the robot)_

_Tails: Sonic!_

* * *

(Static)

Fawful212 was seen and he said, "That's my voice too, ya know

DAL 9000 looked at Fawful212, **"You're voiced by a girl…"**

Fawful212 looked around and said, "Trivial matters… Tails is still voiced by a girl… and Naruto also… and Timmy Turner… So don't say anything!"

DAL 9000 looked at Fawful212, **"Do I sound like I care?"**

Fawful212 looked downcast, "Not really…"

"**Good, because I don't…"**

* * *

_So Tails flies through the laser shots and we see Amy…_

_Amy: Tails, the airplane's on fire! What are we going to do?_

_Tails: We're going to save, Sonic!_

Yes, let's continue to fly through a deathtrap!

_Tails fires a missile at Sonic_

Dude! That's not saving! That's…

_A ring comes from the missile_

**Since when did rings come from missiles in Sonic games?**

Sonic Colors…

**Right… also if you live in another place in the world, it is also called Sonic Colours… the Americans are lazy that way…**

_Sonic keeps falling and the ring enters inside his body… and Sonic becomes a ball?_

Sonic never turned into a ball when the ring appears! He can do Spin Dash by himself!

_Sonic plows through the robots, including the giant ones…_

* * *

"So Sonic gets hit by the last giant robot and he bursts from it and hits a light!" Dimentio713 explained.

"**All the while the plane lands… Yes, that's interesting… and they come across a giant rock…" **DAL said.

* * *

_Tails: Hang on Amy!_

_Amy: (Gasp)! We're gonna… crash!_

_Tails: I know!_

* * *

DAL and Dimentio713 had dull looks on their faces, "I hate it when the show makes the jokes for us…"

"**So a fist comes straight at them and breaks the rock…" **DAL 9000 said.

(Kirby: FALCON PWANCH!)

Dimentio713 looked bored from the gag and continued talking, "So Tails notices… DAN GREEN!"

* * *

_Tails: Knuckles!_

DAN GREEN!

**DAN GREEN!**

_Amy: What's the matter with him?_

Well… Yu-gi-oh the Abridged Series got banned from YouTube again… I think he has plenty reason to be mad… I know I do!

… **Can you stop talking about that?**

_Knuckles: Overkill, just like always._

OH MY GOODNESS! 4Kids said the word kill! The world is ending!

**Dan Green is allowed to say kill, he's awesome like that…**

Right…

_Decoe: Dr. Eggman, the facility is 100% lockdown_

_Dr. Eggman: Why does that accursed Sonic always get in my way?_

He's been getting in your way for nearly the past 20 years… he always does that…

_Cream: He doesn't get in your Dr. Eggman, Sonic just wants to stop you from doing all the bad things you like to do…_

* * *

(Static)

Dimentia713 appeared, "So kawaii!

Dimentio713 and DAL 9000 looked at Dimentia713,

"**This further implies that you are, in fact, based off of Tara …" **DAL 9000 said.

Dimentia713 looked at the two, "Oh, if you were a human, I would so mind snap you!" She said to DAL 9000.

"**Do I look like I care?"**

"…" Dimentio713 looked at the two and then said, "So Eggman puts in a red Chaos Emerald and we see Rouge?"

"**I'm shocked that 4Kids didn't censor her…" DAL 9000 said.**

* * *

_Sonic appears in a ball and crashes through the wall, _

_Dr. Eggman: He can't stop… huh? _

Mike Pollack is really good at Eggman's voice… and that annoying tune plays again!

_Cream: Sonic!_

_Dr. Eggman: Sonic…(Eggman has a nervous look on his face) Too late!_

_Eggman starts pressing buttons and says, "You'll never stop me now Sonic! All I have to do is push this little button…_

_Sonic: Yeah… If you can push it before I grab it…_

* * *

Dimentio713 had his arms above him and said in a mocking tone, "I'm… voice… acting!" (No offense to Sgt. Reynol… but Sonic sounded so stupid in this episode! I personally enjoy Jason Griffith's voice in the later games…)

"**So a robot appears behind Sonic, no doubt to destroy that meatbag and Eggman says this…" **DAL 9000 motioned toward the screen

* * *

_Eggman: Why don't you give it a try?_

That annoying sound comes to the rescue!

_Eggman: Don't let him get away!_

_Rouge dodges the laser from the robot_

(Piccolo: DODGE!)

_Eggman: Stop him! No matter what! _

_Sonic goes in front of Eggman and the robot turns to him_

_Eggman: NO! Hold your fire!_

**(EPIC FAIL!)**

(FYI, this is a gag, when I have a guest star I'm gonna put this in parentheses!)

"So the machine starts to blow up and we see everybody watching… and this is what Knuckles says…"

_Amy: What is that?_

_Knuckles: It used to be Chaos Control…_

* * *

"So not-Chaos Control teleports everyone from Dr. Eggman to Big the Cat!" Dimentio713 said, "To… Earth!"

"**So Sonic wakes up in the middle of the street and we see humans, other than Dr. Eggman!"**

* * *

_Sonic: Where am I? What are they all starring at?_

Gee… If I was a blue hedgehog, what would they be starring at?

_Truck Driver: What is this, Halloween?_

_Sonic: So they can talk…_

_Police Man: What is that thing?_

_Other Police Man: Looks like a big hedgehog…_

_Police Man: A blue hedgehog?_

_Other Police Man: Well, whatever it is… we better get it out of here… Hey buddy, want a ride with us down to the station?_

_Police Man: Should I call for back-up_

_Other Police Man: I got three kitty cats at home, I think I can handle this little fella…_

_The other police officers get into some more crazy hi-jinks!_

* * *

DAL 9000 and Dimentio713 had shocked looks on their faces, "I've never seen anybody act this stupid…" Dimentio713 said in shock while watching the scene.

DAL 9000 then said, **"Agreed…" **

_Sonic: (Looking at the audience) I don't know how I got here, but I've gotta find a way to get out…_

"So the policemen try to stop Sonic and they fail…" Dimentio713 said.

"**Epic fail…" **DAL 9000 said.

"So the police get a team called the Speed Team to catch Sonic…" Dimentio713 then looked around, "This is so boring!"

DAL 9000 then had got a laser, pointing it at the screen, "**GET TO SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!" **

Dimentio713 then said, "I want to see Sonic fighting robots… not humans fixing a car! The only human I need in a Sonic game is Dr. Eggman!"

"So they finally finish this boring sequence and then they drive off to capture Sonic… And we see Sonic looking up to the sky" Dimentio713 said.

* * *

_Sonic: The sky looks the same, so do the stars and the moon…_

What about the sun?

**That was a stupid joke…**

_A sepia tone flashback appears._

I'm bored…

**Don't worry Dimentio… it's only seven more minutes…**

"Alright, Sonic thinks about his friends and notice the Speed Team and the leader talks to Sonic and says they call him the Highway Star… and he says that even if Sonic thinks he's the fastest thing around… he better think some more!" Dimentio713 said, "Get on with it!"

"**So Sonic takes off and they give chase!" **DAL 9000 says.

"Finally! A race!" Dimentio713 then had the GameCube controller in his hand started "playing." So they try to catch Sonic and Sonic breaks the fourth wall!

_Glasses-wearing S Team member: Huh! Hey, you! This is dangerous! Irresponsible! What happens if kids start trying this?_

_Sonic looked up and said, "Kids don't use Formula One racecars to chase hedgehogs._

Alright, that made me laugh!

* * *

"So they chase Sonic and then Sonic runs backwards…" Dimentio713 was in shock, "That's amazing! So the leader of the S Team tells them what to do and he wants to be faster than Sonic… So he puts it on Super Nintro…" Dimentio713 looked around and said, "Just use Mushrooms! They work fine!"

"**So the leader says that Sonic can only be faster than him if Sonic goes supersonic… and Sonic does so… faster than the speed of sound!" **DAL 9000 says.

"So Sonic runs into a pool and sinks like a rock…" Dimentio713 looks at DAL 9000 and DAL said this,

"**Booting sound board… Playing drowning song." **

"So Sonic gets saved by the Scrappy of the series! Chris Throndyke!"

"**And they play the annoying tune once more…"**

"And so the episode ends and this anime continues to adapt Sonic Adventure 1 and 2. It also adapts Sonic Battle... but not Sonic Heroes… Well, ya win some, you lose some! See ya later!"

DAL 9000 was seen looking at Dimentio713, "**Yes… Goodbye!"**

* * *

_**Final Verdict:**_

_**Pros:**_

_**The jokes were pretty funny at times**_

_**The visuals were great**_

_**Mike Pollack and Dan Green are good voice actors, along with anybody who's not Sonic!**_

_**Cons:**_

_**Sonic's voice actor couldn't act in this episode**_

_**Some of the jokes were stupid**_

_**Half the time I felt like I was falling asleep!**_

_**Overall Rating: 6/10 (Good… But Sonic is better off as a game… but don't judge it by the first episode! I give the series itself a 7/10… watch the second season… it's better)**_

(Sonic: Kids, don't use Formula One racecars to chase hedgehogs)

* * *

A figure similar to Dimentio713 was seen in a mechanized world,

"Purity Control!" it held up a Pure Heart and said one thing, "Time to destroy Dimentio713!" A flash of light appeared and it was gone!

* * *

**Gasp! Plot! In Maskwitness Reviews! Anyhow, thanks for being so patient and this is my plan for the next few months:**

**Mario Month for January**

**January 31: Special Surpise!**

**Febuary:**

**Mario and Sonic At The Olympic Games **

**Sonic and the Black Knight**

**Tsubasa Resevoir Chronicles**

**BIT. TRIP FATE**

**March:**

**Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode 1**

**The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzimaya**

**Sonic Adventure 2: Battle vs. Sonic Heroes**

**The Heroes Of Olympus: The Lost Hero**

**April will be a surpise!**

**Well, see ya later!**


	4. Great Mission to Save Princess Peach! P1

**MARIO MONTH!**

Dimentio713 was seen dancing to the original Mario theme, "Man! I love Mario! Anyhow, sorry for not updating for the past few weeks, school got in the way!" Dimentio713 stopped dancing, "… I hate finals… But since finals are done and I could finally update! So! Let's start Mario month!"

Dimentia713 walked to Dimentio713, "… Why are you so excited?"

"Why not?" Dimentio713 asked.

"… Look at your review calendar…" She said and pointed to it… There were two slots filled for Mario Month… The Great Mission to Save Princess Peach and The Super Mario Bros. Movie… Dimentio713 had a large mouth...

"Crud…" Was all he could say.

* * *

_Dimentio713 was seen jumping around and was shocked by the large Bowser threatening him… _

**Maskwitness Reviews: The Great Mission To Save Princess Peach

* * *

**

"Let's do this thing!" Dimentio713 exclaimed, and the movie started,

Dimentio713 looked at the camer, "Also it's only on the internet… And this one is a fanfub… So I'll be seeing if this one is a good fandub…"

* * *

_(A videogame is being played and Mario is playing it…)_

Fun fact: In Japan, the NES was called the Famicom, it was short for Family Computer… Back to the movie!

_A mustachioed character who isn't Mario comes to Mario with a cup of tea. _

_Luigi: Ah… Late night bro? (Mario ignores him) I made you tea. (Mario still ignores him) Hello? _

_Mario is still playing the game…_

_Luigi: Aw, well good night Mario…_

_Mario is seen confused. _

Wow… It's only been 30 seconds and they're already trying to preach to us… I mean its like totally misrepresents gamer community!

* * *

_**Cutaway Gag**_

Dimentio713 was seen playing his Nintendo DS, specifically, Mario & Luigi: Bower's Inside Story.

"Ah, Luigi, your cowardly ways are so funny!" Dimentio713 exclaimed

Akira was seen looking at Dimentio713, "Dimentio713… I'm gonna slap you and give you pain if you continue playing your DS…"

"DIE DARK BOWSER!" He exclaimed

Akira left and Dimentio713 kept playing.

"I gotta beat Bowser X…" He said faintly, even more concentrated.

Akira came back with a giant hammer, "One more chance…"

"Last hit point…" He tensed up and was about to beat Bowser X until Akira hit him with the hammer and Mario missed…

"Huh?" Dimentio713 said, "What happened…"

Akira just left and put her hammer over her solder…. "My work is done here…"

_**End Gag**_

"Okay, I was wrong… Continue the movie… Jerks…" Dimentio713 said the last part out of the corner of his mouth.

* * *

_(The TV screen shut off and Mario's eyes started spinning)_

And that's what you get for playing to much video games!

_Peach was then seen screaming_

_Peach: Ah! Help me! Ah! Help me! (All the while 8-bit Mario tunes were heard)

* * *

_

"So Peach gets chased and she starts to beat Bowser's minions up…" Dimentio713 looked confused, "SO WHY DOESN'T SEE HER BEAT BOWSER UP!"

(Scene of Peach tossing Bowser out of the castle plays)

"THAT… Counts… somewhat…" There was silence for a while, "Shut up…" Dimentio713 said.

"So she gets beat up again…" Dimentio713 went close to the camera, "AND MARIO LOOKS CONFUSED"

**DUN! DUN! DUN!**

"DAL 9000… Please stop it with the dramatic music…" Dimentio713 said, bored.

"**Sorry… Something's wrong…" **DAL replied.

"Alright…" D713 said looking at DAL, "And so… this happens!"

* * *

_Peach pops out of the TV and then ducks behind Mario as the Koopa Troops goes out…_

… Wha?

_Peach: Help me._

Huh? What's happening? And this is just beginning

_Mario: Hey stop! Stop-a doing that! You're thrashing my place! Stop doing that!_

That doesn't sound like Charles Martinet… But I'm not in a position to judge… However… Why… This… is… what you get for playing video games till midnight… Things pop out at you…

**Clearly… CONFUSED!

* * *

**

"It's like I played Sonic Colors and Wisps started entering my body… WHAT HAS MIYAMOTO ON WHEN HE WAS MAKING THIS! I… I… GOTTA FIND OUT WHO MADE THIS!" Dimentio713 was clearly confused and felt he was on something… "To the internet!"

(Batman swirl!)

"So… the director was a guy who made this film called Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland? I don't want to know how creepy it is…" Dimentio713 face palmed himself and continued feeling like he took a Super Mushroom…

* * *

_Mario: These your friends? (Peach hides behind Mario) Nevermind that's a dumb question…_

THIS MOVIE MAKES NO SENSE!

_(Fireworks start exploding)_

Exactly...

_And everything goes back to normal…_

_(Music starts playing)_

Get used to that tune! It's gonna play… a lot…

_Mario: Hello? Are you all right?_

_Peach: (Opens your eyes) AH! Someone help!_

DAH! MY EARS ARE BLEEDING

_Mario screams…_

_Peach: Wow! You scared me! Thanks for protecting me! My name is Princess Peach_

Her voice is annoying… in both versions… Mainly, Japanese

_Mario: Princess Peach? _

_Peach: I believe you're Mario, the brave knight!  
_

The brave knight? HE DID NOTHING!

_Mario: (Blushes) Oh come on now… _

_Peach: Would it be all right with you if I stay with you a bit_

Sure! LET ANYBODY WHO APPEARS FROM A TV STAY WITH YOU!

* * *

"So… Peach starts screaming and Bowser appears…" Dimentio713 explained, "And Peach wants Mario to beat him up… That should be easy! I mean, he beats Bowser up all the time! Examples."

"This time…" (Mario beating Bowser three times in M&L: BiS)

"This time…" (Mario beats Bowser in SPM)

"AND MORE TIMES!" (Mario beats Bowser once more!)

"So Mario always beats Bowser and then he pops out of the TV and looks at both of them… 3D gaming everybody!" Dimentio713 exclaimed (A/N: I'm really looking forward to the 3DS…)

"So Peach encourages Mario with these words!"

* * *

_Peach: Mario! Defeat him! I know you can beat him up! You can do it!_

MARIO! BEAT HIM! YOU DO IT EVERYDAY!

_Mario: Alright! Let's go! Come on! You and me! Ma-_

_Bowser roars_

MARIO! ARE YOU A MAN OR A MOUSE!

_Mario: Stay away! Don't come any closer!_

_Peach: I believe in you Mario! I know you could do it!

* * *

_

Dimentio713 was dressed as Konata, "Yeah! You can do it Mario!" Dimentio713 stared down at his clothes, "… Fawful! Are you messing with the clothes ray again!" Dimentio713 got up and this sign was shown.

**20 minutes later**

"…" Dimentio713 was still dressed as Konara, "This is so embarrassing… So Peach encourages Mario and Bowser does this…"

(Bowser pushes Mario down the hole)

(Chuggaaconroy: Luigi go down the holeee)

"Where did Chugga come from?" Dimentio713 said, "So Peach hits Bowser with everyday appliances and it has no affect on him… Although… it has a lot of affect in Super Smash Bros… So Bowser picks up Peach and she starts screaming…"

* * *

_Peach: Mario! Mario!_

YOU'RE ANNOYING! YOU'RE ANNOYING!

_Mario: What? Where'd you go?_

Wow… the Mario Bros must have real bad floors…

* * *

"So Bowser kidnaps Peach and Mario rushes to the TV to find this…"

(GAME OVER)

"Along with the song! …Though it would've been funnier with this…"

(GAME OVER YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!)

"So Mario shakes the TV… And Luigi comes inside and explains that a princess was kidnapped by a dragon named Koopa…" Dimentio713 looked at his clothes, "_Sigh…_ Do you think he would believe you?"

(Chuggaaconroy: NO!)

"So Mario finds her jewel and has a flashback… And thinks she's beautiful…" Dimentio713 looked around, "Why?"

* * *

_Japanese song starts playing_

What's happening?

_Mario in a Mexican suit is seen_

Why is Mario in a Mexican suit?

_Much more picture appear_

Bumo? Bumomomo!

_A picture of treasure is shown_

What?

_(A grocery store is seen)_

Goody, it's done…

_(Luigi is seen with blue overalls and hat and a yellow t-shirt)_

Wait! *Pause* Why is Luigi not green? Why is he yellow? He looks like Wario in this… Well… Time for explanations!

* * *

Dimentio713 was seen wearing a graduate hat… still with Konata's clothes… and a baton, "You this movie was made before Luigi's clothes color was made official, so they just chose two colors out of their gluteus maximus and they just happened to get blue and yellow… But I'm just guessing about that later part… Anyhow, it turns out that Mario and Luigi owns the store and this woman called Ms. Endless is making a cake…"

(That girl from Lazytown: You know how bake a cake! You know you can't be lazy! Gotta do the cooking by the book)

"So Mario gives the old lady these items: A suitcase, boots, a turnip, a broom, and a small box… And she asks them if they expect her to make cake out of those items… Well Fawful212 tried…"

(Picture of faux cake was seen and it had those items)

"I sukkaed later…" Dimentio713 said, embarrassed.

"So Luigi asks Mario this,"

* * *

_Luigi: What's wrong with you Mario, you've been bummed out the whole day_

_Mario: Aw, nothing_

Well… I don't have any comment…

_Luigi: Huh?_

What's Luigi shocked about?

_(The jewel that Peach dropped is seen)_

_Luigi: Hey, bro! Where did you find this diamond?_

"I'm gonna make a prediction as to what happened," Dimentio713 said as he got up.

* * *

_**Cutaway Gag!**_

"Well-a I-a found it when this princess came out of the TV screen-a!" Dimentio713 exclaimed wearing a Mario hat…

Dimentio713 was now wearing the blue Luigi hat, "… What in the world are you saying bro? Did you need to go to the crazy bin?"

_**End Gag!**_

"I bet that's what happened…" Dimentio713 said smiling.

* * *

_Mario: Don't touch! That's mine!  
_

I guess I was wrong

(Lex Luthor: WRONG!)

Whoa! Mama mia! …See what I there?

**That wasn't funny**

Shut up DAL… Or Fawful212… Or Dimentia… Or Akira… Or BKFood… Or Kits…

_Luigi: Snap out of it brother! This gem has been passed down by the Kanopi people for generations! _

Potential plot element?

(M. Bison: OF COURSE!)

Whoa!

_Luigi: This is worth fortunes!_

_Mario: Kanopi?

* * *

_

Dimentio713 was seen acting like a Valley girl… plus a blond wig (No offense to blonds), "Yeahh! You'd have like to be out of the hoop to know who like the Kanopi people are… duhhh…" Dimentio713 took off the blond and continued saying, "So Luigi then explains more, Luigi… Take it away!"

* * *

_Luigi: This gem is from the lost Mushroom Kingdom_

Lost? I've played the games… How is the Mushroom Kingdom lost?

_Luigi: It's filled with Fire flowers, golden Mushrooms…_

You mean those things in Mario Kart? The special items for Toad and Toadette in Mario Kart: Double Dash?

_Luigi: And at night stars will fall from the sky!_

Though some are evil to the core…

(Flashes picture of the Dark Star)

* * *

"So Mario and Luigi talk with puffs of air coming out of their mouths and… When are we gonna see some jumping action?"

(Mario: Let's call our friend to find out! {Gets a phone and starts using it})

"Sure! Call your friend that nobody here knows about! I'm sure that plot thread will go…"

* * *

_Mario: Hello?_

_Guy from the phone: Hey Mario! Long time no see, in this case here! I have to show you and your brother something! I'll send you guys a ride! See you later!_

*Raises finger up*

**BIG LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT!  
**

_Luigi: What did he say?_

_Mario: He's sending us a ride_

_Luigi: He's picking us up! (Waves hand) This has gotta be a joke!_

_(A blue thing appears)_

What is that thing?

_Mario and Luigi: Huh?_

_Luigi: We don't have dog food here, so get!_

That's a dog? And since when did Luigi act like that?

_Blue thing: Bark, bark, *Incomprehensible word*

* * *

_

"Then the blue thing attacks Mario… WHY? And sounds from the game play… Why? And it steals the jewel… why?" Dimentio713 looked around, "So Mario chases the blue thing around… Again, why? And Luigi gets excavating tools… why? And what's up with the music and sounds effects from the game…" Dimentio713 looked very confused, "So they chase the blue thing that looks like Pac-Man's dog around a pipe place… And the pipes disappear… Why! EXPLAIN MOVIE! EXPLAIN!"

Dimentio713 shot out a lot of magic star things like Dimentio, "WHY! WHY DOES THIS MOVIE MAKE NO SENSE!" Dimentio713 calmed down, "So they end up near a wizard… Wizards don't show up until the Mario RPG… But I'm not complaining."

* * *

_Wizard: Welcome Mario brothers! The one that summoned you to the Mushroom Kingdom was none other than me!_

_Mario: Is it?_

_Luigi: (Interrupts Mario) Mushroom Kingdom! Did you just say the Mushroom Kingdom?_

*In fake sales person voice* Yes, the Mushroom Kingdom, home of the worst security in the history!

* * *

"So they are happy that they're at the Mushroom Kingdom and then they still dance even though Bowser is taking it over! YAY!" Dimentio713 said, "At least till Mario hears the words Princess Peach…"

(Chester A. Bum: CHUN! CHUN CHUNNN!)

"So we have flashback! And then… the Wizard explains!" Dimentio713 exclaimed, "YAY! EXPLANATIONS!" Dimentio713 then said in an interview-like voice, "SO! Where is that guy that was in the previous scenes! You know… the guy on the phone… Explain please?"

"So the wizard explains what Bowser did! And he took over the Mushroom Kingdom and turns rock and stones… And flowers…" Dimentio713 said.

"So it turns out there's a prophecy that says that Mario and Luigi will something like save the world! And Mario and Luigi are confused…" Dimentio713 said.

_Wizard: The kingdom's never been in so much despair_

Well… (Memories of the Mushroom Kingdom is despair is coming back…)

(Shadow Fury)

(Paper Mario)

(Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time)

(Every other non-sports Mario game)

Really?

_Wizard: If Princess Peach isn't saved, she would be forced to marry King Koopa (Yes, that's his name in Japan…) _

_Mario: Huh! (Flashback) _

_Peach: Help me Mario!_

_Mario: Oh! Oh! Married! The wedding is on Friday the Thirteenth._

_Mario: Princess Peach is being forced to marry?_

_Peach: (Cries)_

_Mario: Aww! King Koopa! (Is in a Mexican suit) I'll make sure he pays for his actions! That devil demon dragon! He'll pay!_

You forgot turtle…

_Mario: Hey wait I thought I was Italian…_

Was that thing real? Or was it making fun of that scene…

_Wizard: If you go east straight onward, you will eventually reach Koopa's Kingdom, but pass canyons, big forests, and great seas and mountains to reach his castle._

Don't forget Pipe Land…

_Mario: At times like this I wish we had a taxi_

But… you might end up in the Cash Cab (A/N: I love that show… Just so you know…)

_Wizard: However, to defeat Koopa and break his spell, you have to use three powerups…_

Um… Can't you just use an axe?

_Mario: Um… What's a powerup?_

_Wizard: (Lighting and Thunder behind him) If you combine the Magical Mushroom, the Fire Flower, and Starman, it will give you the ultimate power…_

(Emperor Palpatine: UNLITMITED POWER!)

Can't you use Wisps to use unlimited colors?

(Unlimited Colors!)

* * *

"So the Wizard explains just how the whole powerup thing works and it turns out that Bowser scattered them all… And Mario goes off to find the power-ups! And Luigi asks if he's gonna get paid for this… Wait! Luigi never acted that way! Luigi's… A COWARD!" Dimentio713 screamed, "Well… This was made before his personality was set…" Dimentio713 explained, "… Now that I think of it… He's like Wario…"

(Music starts playing)

"So since we're out of this problem… I'll just explain to you guys as to what happens… So we see possibly the most trippiest walk scene ever… And we see Goombas! And Luigi stealing from a city… Wow…" Dimentio713 then said, "So they rest and Luigi to stop stealing his dreams of food… That's what I said to Fawful212…"

Fawful212 said out the room, "I said I'm sorry!"

Dimentio713 then said, "…" He then looked back at the camera, "So then see Luigi laughing… Why? So it turns out that it's a laughing mushroom and some of them make you cry… And some make you angry… And some make you everything… Then a giant Koopa Paratroopa comes and steals Mario… And then steals Luigi and that blue thing… It's called Kidbango…"

(Scene of Mario getting kidnapped by the Paratroppa is seen)

"So they decide to climb up and I'm getting bored… Where's the Mario action?" Dimentio713 asked.

"And it turns out that the Mushroom is up there!"

(Victory theme plays)

"So Mario says this… when he gets to it…"

(Mario: I know I can reach it! I know I can!)

(Henry Jones: Let it go Indy… Let it go…)

"So they fall… And Mario says this…"

(Mario: We're gonna die!)

"… WHAT! THAT SOUNDS SO OUT OF PLACE!" Dimentio713 exclaimed.

"Then they fall into a vat of mushrooms and we see a Mushroom girl…" Dimentio713 said, "And a lighshow… Am I on something?" Dimentio713 asked.

"And then they call it the super mushroom… I thought it was called it a magic mushroom previously?" Dimentio713 said, clearly confused…. "COUNTINUITY! IT"S FOR IDIOTS!" He exclaimed, and we cut to them walking… again… So they run into Bullet Bills and a giant Koopa that tries to smash him… And Mario grows… Well… that's the affect of Super Mushrooms!"

* * *

_(Directional sign post is seen)_

_Luigi: Mario? Which way do you think we are?_

_Mario: I don't know, we need to know which way is east._

Use a compass…

_Goomba: Hehehe! Where are you guys heading_

_Mario: Well, to be honest, we need to know which way's east! Can you help us out!_

Just use a compass…

_Goomba: If you want to go east, there are so many ways to go!_

No there is not…

* * *

"So they go to a flower course, and what do they see?" Dimentio713 then was in a Piranha Plant, "These guys!" Dimentio713 had a wooden stick and hit the evil plant, "So they grow and they attempt to eat the Mario bros… And he gets pepper out of nowhere… and they run for it… DAL!" Dimentio713 exclaimed. DAL appeared and killed the plant, "Thanks!"

"**No problem…" **DAL said

"So they defeat it and run into a Lakitu and Spinies… And the Lakitu is angry that they killed the Piranha Plants and then he uses science to make the spinies alive…" Dimentio713 explained.

(Hitler: Of course! Don't you know anything about science!)

Steel came out of nowhere and started to hit him… "Don't steal Linkara's or my gag!"

"I'm sorry!"

**20 minutes later**

Dimentio713 was seen with a black eye, "So they defeat the Lakitus and find the fire flower… and the female Toad kisses Mario on the cheek and they start walking and then they find a block that makes ramen… Nintendo Logic… And they get trapped inside a cave due to Luigi's greed… Joy…"

(Dimentia713: YOU! ARE! AN! IDIOT!)

"So the goombas trapped them all and then it's revealed that they are working for Bowser…"

(M. Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS!)

"Where'd that come from?" Dimentio713 asked.

"So the goombas reveal that a Hammer Bro. is working their security guard and Mario goes through the four stages of grief and that song plays again since Peach is in the later scene! YAY!" Dimentio713 said, "So Bowser tries to cheer Peach up by making himself a teddy bear…" Dimentio713 looked at his watch, "Well, this ends the first part… So see you guys next time! I've been doing this since a couple of days ago…"

* * *

**So yeah, I'm doing this in two parts... mainly cause my mom is forcing me to go to sleep tonight... I love her though! I'll be working on the next chapter tomorrow... Good night!**

**(Time finished: 10:55 PM)**


	5. Great Mission to Save Princess Peach! P2

_Previously on Maskwitness Reviews…

* * *

_

Dimentio713 was seen dancing to the original Mario theme, "Man! I love Mario! Anyhow, sorry for not updating for the past few weeks, school got in the way!" Dimentio713 stopped dancing, "… I hate finals… But since finals are done and I could finally update! So! Let's start Mario month!"

Dimentia713 walked to Dimentio713, "… Why are you so excited?"

"Why not?" Dimentio713 asked.

"… Look at your review calendar…" She said and pointed to it… There were two slots filled for Mario Month… The Great Mission to Save Princess Peach and The Super Mario Bros. Movie… Dimentio713 had a large mouth...

"Crud," Was all he could say.

* * *

"So… want to catch a movie sometime?" Fawful212 asked Akira, she looked at him with an evil eye…

* * *

DAL 9000 was seen over the bloodied corpse of Dimentio713, "… The deed is done…"

* * *

Looney and D-Dude were talking,

Looney looked at D-Dude, "Do you know… the connection?"

D-Dude replied, "Yes…"

Looney looked at his brother with an evil eye, "Where is it?" he asked

* * *

"Wow… It's only been 30 seconds and they're already trying to preach to us… I mean its like totally misrepresents gamer community!" Dimentio713 exclaimed.

* * *

Akira looked at Fawful212, "No…" She said flatly.

* * *

DAL 9000 opened the corpse, after purifying it and taking out the organs, "I will destroy him!" He exclaimed.

* * *

Looney held his brother at gunpoint, while D-Dude was looking through the papers.

"WHERE IS IT!" Looney exclaimed.

"I don't know!" D-Dude said frantically.

* * *

Dimentio713 was seen with a black eye, "So they defeat the Lakitus and find the fire flower… and the female Toad kisses Mario on the cheek and they start walking and then they find a block that makes ramen… Nintendo Logic… And they get trapped inside a cave due to Luigi's greed… Joy…"

* * *

Fawful212 started to tear up, "WHY? WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?"

Akira looked at Fawful, "Because, F… I AM NOT AKIRA!" She tore off her face and we cut to the next scene

* * *

DAL 9000 now taking control of Dimentio713's corpse came across Dimentio713's house, "Time to destroy him…" He went inside the house and noticed the review calendar. It said Mario month, but the DAL 9000 erased all but the last two reviews, "The deed is done…" It showed Great Mission to Save Princess Peach and the Super Mario Bros movie…

* * *

D-Dude put up his hands, "I don't know where it is!"

Looney then ran inside the room revealing two Lunatics!

"Who are you!" The second Lunatic said to the first one…

"I AM!" The first Lunatic tore off his face and…

* * *

"Wait… Why does the first part have typos?" Dimentio713 said in shock, "…CRUD!"

* * *

_And now the thrilling conclusion!_

_Dimentio713 was seen waving bye to the Mario Bros. looking at the castle_

**Maskwitness Reviews: The Great Mission to Save Princess Peach, Part 2!

* * *

**

"So continuing where we left off… Wait… Did any of that stuff happen? You know, on the previously on Maskwitness Reviews segment… Oh well! So Peach is begging for Mario to save her!" Dimentio713 said.

* * *

_Bowser: Princess Peach, what's wrong my dear? You look so down, you should cheer up! You'll be marrying me, King Bowser Koopa, in a couple of days. Be happy!_

Okay… Why would she be happy if she's getting married to someone she hates? I mean this is an arranged marriage… I wouldn't want to get into one…

_Peach: Why would I want to marry you anyways! You're an evil dragon!  
_

Turtle! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THAT! TURTLE! OR IF YOU WANT TO CORRECT! CALL HIM A KOOPA!

(Atomic explosion!)

* * *

Dimentio713 sighed, "… So Bowser begs Peach to not say that she doesn't love him… Why do I feel for Bowser? I mean… Sure it makes as much sense as Elise kissing Sonic… But Bowser loves Peach… But the question is… WHY DOES HE KIDNAP HER!"

(static)

Bowser was seen, "Hey Dimentio!"

"Hey Bowser… What do you want?" Dimentio asked his teammate.

"Well… I'm kidnapping Peach right now…" Bowser told the young Filipino, "And…"

"And what?" Dimentio asked Bowser.

"I've been meaning to ask you… How do I gain Peach's affections?" Bowser asked.

"… The answer is obvious…" Dimentio713 said to Bowser who then thought for a few minutes.

"SO I KEEP KIDNAPPING HER!" Bowser exclaimed, all the while Dimentio face palmed himself, "THANKS BUD!"

"… Well… That was pointless…" Dimentio713 looked back at the camera…

(Pointless Moment!)

* * *

_Bowser: Please, don't say such things; I really want our marriage to work out_

… A turtle and a human… Makes as much sense as this scene!

(Scene of Elise kissing Sonic is shown)

I still have nightmares…

_Peach: That coming from the dragon that took over my kingdom and kidnapped me? You've a lot of nerve! _

_Bowser: I did for you, I thought you wanted to control everything by my side…_

Wow… Bowser acts kinda like him from Paper Mario…

(Bowser: Hello! Concerned hubby here!)

_Peach: NO! NO! NEVER EVER! I DON'T WANT TO MARRY YOU!  
_

Well… if you guys did get married… the whole multiverse will implode… And that's why Bowser/Peach fanfics fail…

_Bowser: Please! Stop! Yelling like that! Maybe we can change things!_

Sure… If you want to destroy the whole universe… But that's up to you!

_Peach: Make me feel better than…_

_Bowser: Well, I can shapeshift…_

"And so, Bowser shapeshifts into a scarecrow, then a dancer…"

(Flashes picture of Bowser crossdressing, as a dancer, is shown)

* * *

"Mommy…" Dimentio713 got into a fetal postion… "So he becomes a teddy bear and it turns out that Peach tricked him… And traps him in a box… Looney Tunes, play me out!"

(Looney Tunes play)

**THE END!**

"Well, that's it! I'll see you guys…" Dimentio713 got up to leave, but noticed the movie was still going on, "Oh come on!"

* * *

_(Bowser shapeshifts back to his original form)_

Crud… *Sits back down*

_Bowser: Do you really think you can trick me that easily? (Peach keeps screaming) Foolish girl! (Peach slaps Bowser) Ow. _

Yes… ow…

_Bowser: If you try to escape, it won't happen._

_Peach: But I'll escape, Mario will save me! Yes he will! Just you see!_

But isn't he trapped?

_(Bowser starts to leave)_

_Peach: I have faith in him, I know he will! _

_Bowser: That's funny, my Goombas reported in, saying that they have the brothers prisoned in a cell. They won't be saving you anytime soon_

AND THAT LITTLE DOG TOO!

* * *

"So Peach is in denial and Bowser is gonna work on the wedding… Remember… destruction of the multiverse! Mario… You HAVE to save her…"

(Mario in sadness is shown)

"As soon as you get out of there!" Dimentio713 finished.

(Song number plays)

"So a Japanese song number plays and it shows Mario dancing with Peach… Or spinning… And sitting… And Luigi pops out of a hole

(Ed: Dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole!)

"Okay… And Mario says to go away cause he's day dreaming about Peach… Makes sense to me!" Dimentio713 exclaimed, "So he starts kissing the Hammer Bro… When did we get into bestiality yaoi? So they go inside a hole that Luigi made… "

* * *

_*The blue thing and Mario run away from the Hammer Bro*_

_Mario: I have to lose him!_

_*The Hammer Bro throws hammers and then a bolder comes down due to physics!*_

(Indiana Jones Theme plays)

* * *

"So they escape the Hammer Bro and it turns out that the coins were an illusion and Luigi dumps it all out, but it turns out that the star is there! Quick Mario! Get it! And Luigi can't swim… Why? So they find a bright light and they think it's a star, but it turns out to be a fish… and more sealife chase them… Like a Cheep-cheep… Why not?" Dimentio713 was seen looking around, "Alright! So they find the Star and a Blooper tries to… WAIT A SECOND! HOW ARE THEY ABLE TALK UNDERWATER! MUCH LESS BREATHE! THERE'S ONLY ONE LOGICAL EXPLANATION FOR THIS! TAKE IT AWAY CHUGGA!"

(Chuggaaconroy: Nintendo Logic…)

"Thanks! So they blow air and they find Luigi on a deserted island and it's night! Huh… So they fly through the air and I think this makes no sense… And they found all three power-ups! So now they can free Peach and Mario can get his groove on… What does that mean? And it starts raining Mushrooms, flowers, and stars… Huh? So they get to the castle and this exchange happens..." Dimentio713 said pointing his finger at the screen

* * *

_Luigi: Mario, is that the castle he was talking about?_

Sure!

_(A crescent moon pops up)_

_Mario: Odd… A scary castle like that, You'd think the moon would be red…_

I've seen a red moon before… or was that Mars…

_(Moon turns red)_

Did that castle even look scary?

_Mario: Oh yeah, that's definitely the place, hear this Peach, I'm gonna save you. Set course!

* * *

_

"So they get into a mishap because of Mario and we see the castle… And turtles are moving it around… Alright…" Dimentio713 then looked around, "So it's like they're in a cult and the Goombas tell that they defeated the Mario brothers…" Dimentio713 then said, "Play the clip!"

* * *

_Bowser: (Grinning) _

_Goomba: King Bowser, we successfully defeated the Mario Brothers for you_

_Bowser: Did you really? _

… I think I know what's going to happen…

_2__nd__ Goomba: Well of course your greatness! They won't be bothering you anymore! They're done for!  
_

*Gets a stopwatch* I set this for a couple of minutes…

_Bowser: That's great news! Great job! But where is Princess Peach, I can't wait for our wedding!_

Remember! Multiverse eventually destroyed…

* * *

"So Peach gets her makeup and this feminine Koopa is doing it… So Peach thinks she looks like clown in that makeup… and decides to leave… I think she's…" Dimentio713 was interrupted by a clip.

(Koopas cheering and Bowser looking happy is seen)

"Gonna regret running…" Dimentio713 finshed, "So Bowser decides to get the priest and I'll show you the clip..."

* * *

_Bowser: Peach, there you are! Have a seat! Are you ready to marry the man of your dreams?_

MARIO IS THE MAN OF HER DREAMS!

_Bowser: We are now ready! Bring on the priest!_

_(A priest comes and shakes a maraca)_

Note to self: When I get married… Don't get that priest…

_Peach: Mario, please! You haven't forgotten about me, have you?_

No… He's been thinking of you since day one…

* * *

"So Mario and Luigi… And that dog… You'll understand why I hate him later… decide to row… in the sky… F's had a hard time trying to do that without science… Or magic…" Dimentio713 explained, as he looked outside and say Fawful212 trying to row a boat… on the ground…

"Stop looking at me!" Fawful212 exclaimed.

"Sorry!" Dimentio713 said and then went back to the camera, "So we switch scenes to the priest who I swear looks like Santa as bird… and he shakes the maraca and says this:"

(Priest: King Bowser Koopa, do you take Princess Peach's hand marriage, till death do you part?)

Dimentio713 got out a Pure Heart, "Just in case… So Bowser says 'I do' and Peach says… 'Yes… She does want to marry the man of her dreams.'"

All of the sudden, the Void appears… "PINEAPPLE!" Dimentio713 then looked at his iPod Touch… "COME ON PEACH! SAY YOU'RE LYING!"

* * *

_Peach: YES! AND THAT MAN IS MARIO!

* * *

_

Dimentio713 then raised his hands in the sky as he started to fly! He toward the Void! Destroying the Void with true love! All the while, a little kid asked his mom,

"Mommy? Why is that boy in girl's clothes?"

"Son… You don't want to know…" The mom said.

Dimentio713 was now back in his room, after saving the worlds from destruction in Konata's uniform… "So Mario and Luigi… AND THE DOG! Appear and Peach is happy that Mario is there! YAY!"

* * *

_Peach: Mario! I knew you'd save me!_

_Bowser: NO! I WAS TOLD THEY WERE DEFEATED  
_

YES! TRUE LOVE DEFEATS ALL!

_(Bowser is looking angry)_

_Peach: Mario, I'm over here!_

_Bowser: No! This can't be happening! I was told they were defeated!_

CHEW ON THAT BOWSER!

_Goomba: BUT I SWEAR THEY WERE! (In clear panic)

* * *

_

"So Mario and the dog… run toward Bowser and Peach, and Luigi says this…"

(Luigi: I'm gonna look for some gold!)

"I swear! That is so out of context, I mean you can get in an argument with somebody and you could say this!"

_**Cutaway Gag**_

Dimentio713 was seen arguing with Dimentia713, "SO YOU THINK YOU'RE SO HIGH AND MIGHTY!" Dimentia713 exclaimed.

"WELL! EXCUSE ME! I GOT TO WHERE I WAS BECAUSE OF HARD WORK!" Dimentio713 exclaimed.

"Hard work my-" She was interrupted by Dimentio713 saying:

"I'm gonna look for some gold!" Dimentio713 exclaimed.

"Wha-?" Dimentia713 looked at her friend and hit him with a hammer, "That makes no sense…"

_**End Gag**_

"Okay… I was wrong… It doesn't go as well as I was frozen today…" Dimentio713 then said, "Continue the movie… So they go through the area and… you know what, this like a game, give me a controller and I think I can play it… So Luigi pops out during the sidescroller and gold pops out… Alright… And then they chase Bowser through gears and fire and… Goombas and they attempt to give Mario a Game over… Way more useful than just moving…" Dimentio713 said, clearly bored…

(The Goomba pulls a lever)

"WAIT A SECOND! GOOMBAS HAVE ARMS! …Alright… And Luigi finds more gold… MAKES SENSE TO ME! And water appears…" Dimentio713 deadpanned, "Okay… In all honesty… who saw this coming a mile away?" Dimentio713 asked.

* * *

_Priest: Bowser take your ring and put around Peach's finger_

*Looks at watch* Wow… I'm bored…

_Bowser: Look what I had customly made for you Peach! (Puts giant ring around Peach's finger) It looks too big…_

I personally think that it looks like a tiara… Also… NO DUH!

_Peach: This is a ring?_

_Bowser: Hmm…I know! We'll fatten you up so it'll fit_

*Wide eyed* Can't you just use magic? Hello? Common sense?

_Peach: Never! (cries)_

YEAH! FIGHT BOWSER! Or cry... whichever one you want...

* * *

"So the castle crumbles and Peach and Mario see each other!" Dimentio713 was smiling.

"Yay!" He said softly.

* * *

_(Bowser roar) _

Curse you Bowser!

_Bowser: Hahaha! You think you can have Peach that easy? Think again you little grease ball!_

_Mario: (Narrowly avoids Bowser's hand)_

You can do it Mario!

_Mario: I'll hide behind this rock! (Bowser blows fire at it) It gets destroyed and he's covered in soot

* * *

_

"So the dog attempts to fight Bowser, but fails and Peach tells Mario to use the power ups! And then…"

(A bowl of rice appears and Mario starts eating it)

"… DAH! WHY WOULD YOU EAT A BOWL OF RICE BEFORE SAVING YOUR LOVE INTEREST! GAH!" Dimentio713 then started to use his magic attack again, punching the couch and shouting, "DIE, DIE, DIE!"

**20 minutes later**

"… Sorry, I got kinda frustrated… So he loses the Star and Bowser says this… after making Mario fall," Dimentio713 put on his glasses in preparation for what will come

(Bowser: I'm evil.)

"WORSE LINE EVER!" Dimentio713 exclaimed.

* * *

_Peach: You locked away Toadstool as well, where is he?_

Who's Toadstool? Isn't that the name that Peach used to have?

_Bowser: What does that matter to you? I'm better than him!_

WHO IN THE WORLD IS TOADSTOOL!

_Mario: I'm sorry, I've failed you Peach! (faints)_

_Peach: Please where is he?  
_

_Bowser: That doesn't matter. He is locked away and transformed under my spell._

WHO IS TOADSTOOL! I MEAN WHO IS HE! THE DOG? *Slaps himself* Don't say that! That's a taboo line!

_Bowser: You'll never see him again!_

_Luigi: (pops out)_

Luigi! I know you can do it!

_Luigi: Mario, I know you can do it! Here's the star you dropped earlier!_

_Mario: Luigi, quick feed it to me!_

_Luigi: This is edible?_

I don't know… I mean it looks like it just gets absorbed

(Chuggaaconroy: Nintendo Logic)

Why not!

* * *

"So Luigi feeds Mario the star and Mario throws Bowser! And now! We're at the final fight! We're gonna see who wins!"

* * *

_Mario: (Punches Bowser a lot of times and then uppercuts him!)_

Shoryuken!

_Peach: Go Mario! GO!_

_Luigi: What's happening?_

_Mario: (Spin Bowser a couple of times) So long de Bowser!

* * *

_

"So they defeat Bowser and flowers pop out of nowhere are a castle appears from the ruins… Mario defeated Bowser and… everything great again… Man… The only thing that can ruin this moment is a feminine-looking guy that popped out of nowhere and completely ruined the ending of this weird movie… But! We all know that won't happen!" Dimentio713 smiled and said, "I guess that's it!"

Akira came to the room and said, "… Dimentio713… You might want to look…"

Dimentio713 smiled, "Akira-chan! That…"

(Prince Toadstool: Peach, I have returned.)

"… HE WAS THE DOG!" Dimentio713 exclaimed

Akira yawned and said, "Yeah, see ya later Dimentio…"

* * *

_Peach: I missed you so much!_

*Gets out gun*

_Toadstool: Bowser used magic to turn me into a dog_

AND A DOG YOU ARE!

_Toadstool: And then he locked me with the Mushroom Hermit_

*Puts gun near his head*

_Mario: Wait a moment, this means you and her are…_

_Toadstool: Mario. Peach and I were to be engaged before Bowser showed up_

*Getting so angry that he points gun toward Toadstool* YOU DARE GET IN THE WAY OF TRUE LOVE!

_Toadstool: I thank you for saving our marriage_

*Hits head against desk*

_Peach: Mario! Are you okay?_

NO! YOU JUST ACTED LIKE AN IDIOT!

_Peach: I like you_

Whew, thank goodness!

_Peach: And I'd marry you, but…_

Then get a divorce… it works... sometimes…

* * *

"So yeah… Mario's okay with Peach getting married to an idiot who just came out of nowhere and did absolutely nothing. And that's the movie… Masami Hata! YOU ARE A…" A clip started playing

* * *

_A grocery store is seen_

Wha?

_Ms. Endless: I hope Mario is paying attention today._

_Luigi: Oh no, we've hired new assistants! _

_Ms. Endless: Okay then, I need the following: Butter, milk, eggs_

Squick?

_Bowser: Here you are ma'am. _

Pointless moment…

_Ms. Endless: Screams_

_Game Over

* * *

_

"And that's Super Mario Brothers: The Great Mission to Save Princess Peach. Now is this a bad movie? …Not really but the end seemed to be really stupid… I mean… Why? WHY WOULD THEY DESTORY A CANON PAIRING! MARIO SAVES PEACH! PEACH LOVES MARIO! THIS MOVIE MAKES NO SENSE! I MEAN COME ON! But, it's done and I can finally relax!" Dimentio713 was about to get up until DAL 9000 came and said,

"You still got this to do… He brought up the Super Mario Bros. Movie…"

Dimentio713 sighed and said, "This has been Maskwitness Reviews… Look out for the Super Mario Bros. Movie… See you guys later… Also Masami Hata… YOU! ARE! A! HACK! THANKS FOR RUINING MARIO FOR ME! WHO CARES IF YOU MADE A COUPLE OF EPISODES OF STITCH! I SURE AS (Bleep) DON'T! MAKE A PROPER ENDING! I HATE THE ENDING OF THIS MOVIE! Also, what happened to the guy on the phone?"

* * *

_**Final Verdict:**_

_**Pros:**_

_Very close to the games, so much as to use sound effects!_

_Mario beating up Bowser was pretty epic…_

_Some humor due to the fandub…_

_Mario is pretty cool_

_**Cons:**_

_Luigi's OOC_

_Peach marrying some random guy that came out of nowhere…WHY?_

_Half of the stuff that wasn't inspired by the game came out of nowhere…_

_What was with that dog? It didn't look like one…_

_What happened to the guy on the phone?_

_Overall Rating: The animation itself is odd… but this was made in the 1980's… I would give it a 5.8/10… it's okay… but not as great…_

(Mario: Wait, I thought I was Italian!)

**Mario is owned by Nintendo…**

**The fandub is owned by DriveOffTheRoofINC**

**Clips owned by their owners

* * *

**

"…" The character that looked like Dimentio713 looked at Dimentio713 doing his reviews, "… This one will do the trick… " The movie Super Mario Bros. was shown

* * *

**The end to this two-parter… Hope you guys liked it and I'll see you guys soon! This is Dimentio713 signing off!**


	6. History of Dimentio713

**Yeah... This probably won't be as amazing as I hope for it to be... But you get to see how dumb I was when I was young!

* * *

**

Dimentio713 was seen sleeping like a baby, Dimentia713, DAL, Fawful212, and Akira were all watching,

"**F? Why did you make a sleep serum?" **DAL asked the apprentice of Fawful.

"… I was planning on marketing it…" Fawful212 looked at his friend, "I didn't know he'd be knocked out for an entire week…"

"Well… You made a great item…" Akira said sarcastically, "I think we can use it for enemies…"

Dimentia713 looked at all of them and noticed something, "Hey! Where's BKFood!"

BKFood came running toward the room, "Okay! I'm here! Where's the pizza!"

DAL only looked at the dumb kid, "There's no pizza," DAL slapped the stupid boy, "Anyhow, how are we gonna wake him up?"

Dimentia713 got out her hammer and looked at Fawful212, "Will this work?"

"Well… It should wear off today…" F looked at his friends, "Mind doing something while waiting?"

DAL shrugged, **"Sure why not?"**

Akira smiled and exclaimed, "YES! A SPOT ON THE SHOW!" She ran toward the reviewing area and everyone else followed suit.

"Well, it's time for the minor characters of Maskwitness Reviews too…" Dimentia713 then said, "Wait… What about Kits?"

Akira then got out her phone, "Let's see…" She put some numbers in and Kits answered

"_Hello?"_ Kits asked.

"GET YOUR LAZYBUM RIGHT HERE NOW!" Akira exclaimed, there was a couple of commotion and Akira closed the phone, "He's coming!" She said cheerfully.

Kits came from the door, "Alright! I just saw my cousin sleeping in his room… WHAT'S GOING ON!"

"I kinda gave Dimentio a sleep serum…" Kits then promptly fainted on the spot.

"**Shall we do something?" **DAL noted.

Fawful212 then said, "Let's wait for him to wake up…" He then faced the camera, "Hello and welcome to Maskwitness Reviews!"

Akira then interrupted him, "And now it's called Lucky Reviews!"

DAL then said, "Wait… Lucky Reviews? Shouldn't it be called Robo Reviews?"

Dimentia713 then said, "What! Those names are stupid! It should be Tsundere Reviews!"

BKFood then argued, "NO! It should be BKFood!" Everyone looked at BKFood and Akira simply stepped on BK's foot, "OW!"

Kits woke up, "Why not Maskwitness, Lucky, Robo, Tsundere, not BKFood, and Kits Reviews?"

Everyone looked at each other, "… Sure" They all said simultaneously.

"… **I think Dimentio713 had something special in mind on January 31****st****…" **DAL looked around, "**Ah! Here it is!"**

**January 31: History of Dimentio713

* * *

**

_All of the minor characters of Maskwitness Reviews were all looking at a timeline_

**Maskwitness, Lucky, Robo, Tsundere, not BKFood, and Kits Reviews: History of Dimentio713

* * *

**

"So… Does anybody have any idea what history he's talking about," Akira asked.

DAL then noted, **"Well… This is about his beta characters…"**

Kits then said, "Oh yeah! Dimentio713 always talked about this character called Pikpeter!" Kits searched around in his pockets, "One sec…"

Kits found a piece of paper that had a Red Pikmin on it; the Pikmin had a golden flower on himself and was surrounded by gauges. "Dimentio713 used to have a plan back in 5th grade," Kits continued, "He had a character called Pikpeter and he could use all the powers of Pikmin, including parasite!"

Fawful looked at Kits, "There was a parasite Pikmin?"

"**Bulbmin to be more exact…" **DAL explained.

Akira looked at Kits, "Sounds like a Gary Stu…"

Kits looked at the pink haired Yandere, "He was very young that time…"

Dimentia713 then interrupted Kits, "OH PLEASE!" She smiled like a mad man and then said, "Want to know what's creepier?" She looked at Kits, "I USED TO BE A FEMALE VERSION OF DIMENTIO713!"

DAL looked shocked, **"Huh?"**

The girl smiled, "Yup! I used to be in love with Dimentio!"

Fawful212 then said, "Dimentio-sensei?"

Dimentia713 looked at Fawful212, "Yup! I loved him! And this was when he was 12!"

Everyone looked wide-eyed, "Are you still like that?"

Dimentia713 looked at all of them and said, "Nah! That was my truth or dare persona… I also used to be nicer and a kind love interest! Now I'm a Tsundere!"

Akira then looked at Fawful and she said, "So… What about you?"

Dimentia713 then got up and left, no before telling DAL and Kits to go to the next room,

Kits then asked, "Why?"

Dimentia713 whispered in Kits's ear and he quickly nodded his head and he also told DAL who also left... Unfortunately, they forgot about BKFood...

Akira kept buggering Fawful until Fawful212 said, "Alright… Here it is…"

(5 minutes later)

Akira had her lighter and aerosol can combo…And chasing Fawful212… She was screaming, "GET BACK HERE!" All the while, BK was on the desk, he was very faint…

DAL, Kits, and Dimentia713 came back in the room, "…" They all stared at the two and then DAL broke the silence, **"I used to be an evil robot…"**

Kits then looked at DAL, "How so?"

"**Well, I was originally going to want to torture Dimentio713 with Video Brinqueo movies for my master…" **He continued his speech, "**I was dreadfully confused at time and I was almost like Pollo, however, Dimentio713 has made me lazy… Where's the nacho chips? I'm bored like a bee…"** DAL then floated up and looked for the nachos.

Kits looked at Dimentia713, "How can a robot eat?"

Dimentia713 answered with a straight face, "He has a hole which allows him to eat and taste food like a human being…"

Kits looked really confused and said, "How can he eat? Does he have to eat?"

Dimentia713 waved her hand, "Nah! He doesn't need to eat! He just likes eating because it's fun…"

Kits still looked confused, "Why does he eat for fun?"

"Well… He's demented… Lazy… Also artifical…" Dimentia713 stared at Kit's confused face, "Don't question the logic in that…" She then looked at Kits, "So… Is there any other dirt on Dimentio?"

Kits then got out a scroll, "A whole scroll of them…" He then said, "Originally, he created a character called Josh, Josh could use a lightsaber and Force powers… He teamed up with various characters in forms of media… He made a team that had five characters… Josh, Mario, Luigi, Sonic, and Billy Hatcher…"

BKFood woke up, "Hey, what did I miss?"

Dimentia713 then said, "Nothing! Just that Dimentio713 made a character called Josh and he was a total Gary Stu!"

Kits said, "Agreed. He had the power of Dimentio at his command and Dimentio was like an evil cape wearing character and he had infinite lives and then Dimentio acted like Nine-Tails from Naruto after Josh absorbed him…"

The two had their mouths open.

**GARY STU ALERT!**

"Thank goodness for PI then!" Dimentia713 said, "Did Josh evolve? I mean, he was a total Gary Stu…"

Fawful212 came back, his glasses cracked, thankfully on the left side and sat next to each of them, along with Akira who was still angry.

"…" They all stared at Fawful212, then DAL came, covered in nacho sauce, they also stared at DAL.

"Don't ask…" Fawful and DAL said simultaneously.

"We won't…" Kits, Dimentia713, and BKFood said simultaneously.

* * *

"Anyhow," Kits continued, "Josh began to evolve… He became a wielder of a powerful sword, which originally was similar to the lightsaber and was involved in his own fanfiction, Josh: The Three Forme Warrior, then into a Team Diamond only character, then he became Dimentio713 himself!"

"… So Dimentio713 is Josh?" Akira asked the cousin of their house master.

"… It will all be revealed in a later fanfic…" Kits then continued, "Dimentio713 also made a character named Amily, she's like Dimentia713…"

Dimentia713 looked shocked, "How do you know my civilian name!"

Kits grinned at her, "I know everything…" Everyone was creepped out by Kit's grin…

"There were also these characters whose names were Monferno and Kirila… And they were a Monferno and a Kirila…" Kits said.

Dimentia713 slapped herself, "I completely forgot! Team Diamond used to have Starfy and Solid Snake! Dimentio713 didn't want them to be there though… It kinda doesn't make much sense to have those characters… There was gonna be a Wii Balance Board there too…"

Akira looked pretty amused, "Hey! I saw Dimentio713's original plans! There was this guy called J. Shadow involved… He was supposed to be an evil version of Josh… I wonder how he'll be adapted now… He also wanted to implement his sister in it... He planned a prequel that has him traveling with the main characters from Super Smash Brothers Brawl..."

**GARY STU ALERT!**

Suddenly Dimentio713 appeared in the room… However, he looked emotionless…

"Oh hey Dimentio!" BK exclaimed, "How's life!"

Dimentio713 then snapped his fingers, and everyone else fainted. BK looked around, panicking.

"Who are you!" BK exclaimed.

"You can call me… Mechamentio713…" Mecha grabbed BK by the shirt, "I want to destroy Dimentio713… I cannot tell you why yet… So… Where is he?"

BK looked around and said, "Um…"

Mecha threw BK, "Never mind…" Everyone woke up and looked around.

Kits then broke the silence, "What happened?"

BK just shrugged and said, "Big Lipped Alligator Moment…"

**BIG LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT!  
**

Everyone else just shrugged it off and then BKFood said, "I remember when I known as Bryan! I was a total idiot! I love being an idiot! I love guns! Just like Bryan!"

Everyone ignored BKFood and Kits kept talking, "Anyhow, I got some trivia for you guys!"

Suddenly, Dimentia713 exclaimed, "All right!"

Kits continued, "Did you know that Dimentio713 got his name from these two sources? Dimentio and his favorite number seven and thirteen? Also, Kits is actually a pack of foxes and whatnot!"

Dimentio713 came into the room, "Morning guys…" He looked around and said, "Whatcha doing?"

Everyone just waved their hands and said, "Trust me… You don't wanna know…"

Dimentio713 just shrugged, "Meh… Anyhow, I just found out that this is my 2nd year of being on fanfiction… I'm so happy! I'm gonna tell everyone about my history!"

Everybody else just shrugged and left, Dimentio all alone… "Alright fine! I'll just tell everyone that my characters are stupid! Anyhow, here's my future fanfic plans…"

_2 years of Fanfiction… 2 years of Dimentio713… _

**Kingdom Hearts: Matim Manika: After Kingdom Hearts 2, Sora and the gang find out about these being called Matim Manikarrupt… They want to make the worlds' hearts under their control to protect it from darkness… However, doing so will take away the worlds' beings free will… **

**Planet Insania: UNKRITICS: After meeting up in a park, Planet Insania has been split up due to the beings called the UNKRITICS… Who is this new, and only, foe? What will happen to them?**

**Maskwitness Reviews: First Arc: Mechamentio713: Unknown…**

**Dimentio713's Story: Dark Eyes: Unknown…**

"Well, catch ya guys later!" Dimentio713 got up from his seat and then the screen froze… Mechamentio713 was watching the broadcast

"So… Dimentio713 has been on fanfiction for two years… I'll get him… And all organics… And I've got just the movies for him…" Mechamentio713 looked at a Mulan 2 DVD cover and looked on his computer… Showing Pokemon: Attack of Mewtwo and… My Immortal… There was also a DVD cover of Ratatoing. "He'll be destroyed! "

"Hey!" A museum curator came toward Mechamentio713, "Are you done monologuing to yourself?" Mechamentio713 started to choke the helpless curator, "What did you say? … Worthless organic?" The screen became black.

* * *

**Why do I have a feeling that this won't be incredibly popular as I hope for it to be?**


	7. Sonic and the Black Knight

**A/N: So sorry that this is late, I can't play video games during school days… Also, this is supposed to be bigger, but I'm in between a rock and a hard place right now... I'm guessing most game reviews will be more serious... **

* * *

"Hello and welcome to Maskwitness Reviews with Dimentia713, and this is where we check it out because we feel like it!" Dimentia713 was sitting in the chair where Dimentio713 normally sat, "Oh, you're wondering why I'm here instead of Dimentio713? He's planning for the double date that I, he, Fawful212, and Akira have been planning… Or hiding from me…"

* * *

Dimentio713 was seen calling a whole bunch of restaurants, "Hey can I have four seats?"

"_Sorry, we're full..."_

"Crud… I'll call somebody else…"

"_No…"_

"COME ON! DANG IT VALENTINE'S DAY/SINGLE AWARNESS DAY!"

* * *

"Yeah… Anyhow, I shall be reviewing Sonic and the Black Knight!" Dimentia713 lifted up the game box and smiled

* * *

_Dimentia713 was seen with a blade and she was talking smack to it_

**Maskwitness Reviews: Sonic and the Black Knight**

* * *

"Anyhow, this is one of the few Sonic games where the main character actually uses a weapon… That isn't a robot… Or Eggman… It's kinda strange that instead of weapons evolving in Sonic, you have guns to swords… But I digress, now let's dig into Sonic and the Black Knight… Now for game reviews, Maskwitness Reviews shall have four categories: Story and Characters, Gameplay, Music, and Graphics… Now for games that are retro… Or retro-based, we'll be seeing it from what it supposed to be from that stand-point…" Dimentia713 picked up a Wiimote and a Nunchuk.

* * *

**Story and Characters:**

"Now in the beginning, we have a normal plot where we have a corrupt version of King Arthur trying to make his subjects' lives a living heck… With this character called Merlina letting Sonic have a sword and telling him that he'll be a King-Slayer, one of the worst knights… Sonic interestingly says this,"

(Well, I can't be the hero everytime!)

"Agreed, I mean, look at me! I try to kill NoThings like a crazed manic! And it also turns out that the sword talks…"

* * *

Merlina: It goes by the name, Caliburn

Sonic: It's kinda sorry looking.

Caliburn: Fool!

Sonic: Woah!

Caliburn: You are the chosen one? You are but a squire!

* * *

"Ya know, for a blade… He's got a smart mouth… I mean, I can only hope that the Skyward Sword in the new Zelda game won't be like that! They then reveal that Sonic needs to go to Camelot!"

(King Arthur: Camelot!

One of the Knights: Camelot!

Another one of the Knights: Camelot!

Patsy: It's only a model…

King Arthur: Shh!

Knights of the Round Table: {Starts singing} We're Knights of the Round Table})

"So… We'll expect singing at Camelot… And I guess King Arthur was really mad… Since they started singing..."

"So Sonic faces off against the Knights of the Round Table…

(Knights: We're Knights of the Round Table!)

"NO! NO! NO!"

(Knights from Quest for Camelot: United We Stand! Brother together!)

"SHUT UP! They just need to go to the blacksmith (Tails)! Then they go to the Lady of the Lake, Nimue. (Amy). But before that, they have to beat and then she explains that to find out how to defeat King Arthur… They need to go through a test… But before that they meet up with Lancelot (Shadow) who challenges them… So they help people out and meet up with this girl who's family has been kidnapped. Then they meet up with Gaiwan (Knuckles) and fight with him and after defeating him, he nearly kills himself, alright… WHAT WAS KING ARTHUR THINKING WHEN WE GAVE HIM THIS SWORD! And it's all because he failed his king!" Dimentia713 then pressed a button that played the clip.

* * *

_Gaiwan: To lose to a mere apprentice! I have been disgraced. (Puts sword near his neck) Only death can remove this stain upon my honor_

_Sonic: (Takes sword) Gimme a break! What's up with all this drama!_

_Gaiwan: Silence! Silence! I say! A knight who fails his king is unfit to live!_

* * *

"Wow, dark. And this is where we see a very interesting moment between Sonic's ideals and medieval ideals, while Sonic's ideals are more on doing the right thing… the medieval ideas are based on honor… Kinda like Japan's samurai… In fact, I can see parallels between Gaiwan's near-suicide and seppuku!"

"And it turns out that the girl they helped was actually Nimue and it they also have to use the Sacred Swords… Which Sonic has three of already… And they have to fight Percival… In fact, Sonic's ideals comes back when he fights Percival (Blaze)…"

* * *

_Percival: Well done, Sir Sonic! (Trips and falls off)_

_Sonic then saves her: Whew! That was close!_

* * *

"So then they fight King Arthur and he turns out to be fake… And now it turns out that Merlina is the main villain… But I'll get to her when he analyze the characters… So they have to get some magic shields up and eventually Sonic faces Merlina himself… But unfortunately, Caliburn breaks and Sonic gets beat up… And then Sonic gains this awesome ability that he uses to defeat Merlina and gives Merlina hope… And it also turns out that Sonic is King Arthur… Huh! And now for the character analysis…" Dimentia713 said, "SHOW THE PICS!"

* * *

_Official artwork for Sonic_

Sonic is as he's always been… Doing the right thing… While most games show him as a hero, we must remember that he isn't a hero… He's a protagonist, yes… But Sonic will do the right thing, even if it does mean that he has to kill somebody… This game is a perfect example. He defeats Eggman all the time, but never kills him… Why? I guess he can sense the good in Eggman too… In my opinion, Sonic is a better character that Mario, while Mario will always is shown as the hero… Besides Donkey Kong Jr…. But Sonic can be a villain and a hero at the same time! Props to Sega for making a better character compared to Mario!

_Official artwork of Caliburn_

Now Caliburn is like a teacher, a mean one on that… Caliburn is sarcastic, free-spirited, and has an English accent… Now that's interesting… He's all about helping Sonic, but in his own, wacky way… Not much to say about him other than that he's a sword…

_Official artwork of Merlina_

Now Merlina is mostly an interesting character, she wants a better world, without all the pains that this world is going through, but she wants it differently… She wants to make it go into darkness so that it will never end. I have to say, this villain is different from the usual Sonic characters, instead of wanting to destroy all human characters/world/protagonists/evil robots… She wants to save her world… Keep it from total destruction… But making everyone be in pain is never the way to do it… Props to Sega for making a very interesting character compared to Erazor Djinn… Who I feel that he wanted to just destroy stuff!

_Artwork of the Knights of the Round Table_

Now these characters are very interesting… And by interesting, they are ALL THE SAME! I MEAN HALF OF THEM ARE SO LOYAL TO THE KING… BY THAT I MEAN ALL OF THEM! GOSH! I MEAN: SHADOW ACTS LIKE A LONER, KNUCKLES ACTS OBESSED WITH THE MASTER EMERALD AND BLAZE I HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT! HERE, THEY ACT SO 2-DIMENSIONAL! GOSH! I MEAN I LIKE THEIR PLAYSTYLE, BUT THAT'S FOR A DIFFERENT TIME! THEY DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT DOING ANYTHING AGAINST KING ARTHUR! SHOW SOME BACKBONE! YA MORONS! STOP BEING UNHELPFUL! JEEZ!

* * *

**Gameplay:**

"Now Sonic and the Black Knight uses the Nunchuk and Wiimote, like any other sword game… In my option, it's more of a hack-and-slash game rather than a really game with sword play… I mean, half the time you just shake the Wiimote and pressing B to do a Soul Surge, now going on to soul surge, you just do the Wiimote at timing… An interesting departure… But not really amazing." Dimentia713 explained, "Now when you unlock the Knights of the Round Table, their playstyle is interesting persay… Percival's playstyle is more on speed and flexibility, Gaiwan is more on strength, and Lancelot is stronger than Sonic and more fierce… Now there is a not-so-awesome two player mode and I only have one thing to say about it…" Dimentia713 then held her finger up

"Bad... Now most of the game requires you to get to the goal, collect rings, fight enemies, help people…which is a welcome difference to the other games… Now when you face the final boss, it plays like a dodging game where you have to fight, dodge, fight, and dodge…" Dimentia713 explained.

"However, in the end, it's all about speed… All in all, the gameplay is even more radically changed in every stage." Dimentia713 looked around and said, "Mostly, the whole game is just a mix and match of random things that make a game…

**Music:**

"Only one word to say about it: Epic…" Dimentia713 said, "I mean, it's actually very interesting, I mean with its mixture of rock and classical music makes a very interesting combo…Half the time, all the themes mix in well, an interesting remix of With Me, the final boss fight, Fight the Knight, Knight of the Wind, and they even include remixes of iconic Sonic games! It's a very interesting as to what one defines as music…"

**Graphics: **

"Now in my opinion, the graphics were interesting… But Dimentio713's calling me to get off and that it's time for the date… Too bad… I'M NOT LISTENING! Now anyhow, the graphics are pretty awesome… But none can compare to Sonic Colors, it's substantial, but can stand on its own… Now to get ready for that date…" Dimentia713 got off and exclaimed, "ALRIGHT! IF ANYBODY NEEDS ME, I'LL BE TAKING A SHOWER!"

* * *

_**Final Verdict:**_

_**Pros: **_

_Story was good_

_Most of the characters were interesting_

_Amazing Music_

_**Cons:**_

_The game kept shifting its playability_

_Multiplayer wasn't awesome _

_Knights of The Round Table were mainly there for fanservice…_

(Sonic: Shut up you oversized letter opener!)

**Sonic and other characters are owned by Sega**

**Quest for Camelot is owned by Warner Bros.**

**Monty Python and the Holy Grail is owned by Phython Pictures**

* * *

Mechamentio713 was seen watching the show, "Darn it! I knew I should've used Windows 7!" It turned out that he was using Ubuntu… And it crashed… (I speak from experience…)

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, this chapter wasn't amazing… I just want to get to Tsubasa… It's a very interesting anime… Anyhow, the date is an actual story! I'm working on it right now! Valentine's/Single Awareness Day, eat your heart out! **


	8. Tsubasa Resevoir Chronicles Episode 1

**A/N: Yay! Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles! It's one of my favorite anime!**

**

* * *

**

"Good grief!" Dimentio713 exclaimed, "Akira is busy trying to add to her career, Fawful212 is trying to create a device or something, Dimentia713 is to busy angsting, DAL is eating nachos… Trying to set a world record, BKFood's to stupid, and Kits is way to busy!" He groaned, "HOW WILL I GET PEOPLE TO REVIEW THIS WITH!" He then noticed a card from his friend, Ally S. Starheart, it said, _"To my friend, Dimentio. Thanks for helping me!"_

"Oh… The girl with the intensely long name…" He smiled evilly and held up a gun, "I have a plan! CUE THE THEME SONG!"

* * *

_**I don't care what your thinking as you turn to me**_

_**'**__**Cause what I have in my two hands is enough to set me free (set me free)**_

_**I can fight the feelin' to resist it over time**_

_**But when it's just too much to take you sneak up from behind**_

_**Is it me? You say, you're looking for?**_

_**Let me show you who I am and what I'm here for here for**_

___**Heaaay!**_

___**Try to reach inside of me!**_

_**Try to take my energy!**_

_**Let me show you just what I'm made of**_

_**Simple curiosity, trying to take a bite of me**_

_**Let me show you just what I'm made of now...

* * *

**_

_Dimentio713 was seen walking toward the screen, holding a feather with him asking, "WHAT THE PINEAPPLE IS WRONG WITH THIS ANIME!" All the while Ally looked at her friend, confused_

**Maskwitness Reviews: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles

* * *

**

A girl who looked like Roxas with a skirt that hung down and stopped above her kness and black and teal instead of black and white (Ally), angry, was seen seating in a seat with tape over her mouth and tied up in ropes sitting next to Dimentio713 who was smiling, "Hello and welcome to Maskwitness Reviews with Dimentio713! Where I check it out cause I feel like it! Oh you're wondering who this is? This is Ally Starheart! A good friend of mine!"

Ally just rolled her eyes and looked at Dimentio with a harsh look, "ENM! ENM! ENM!"

"Oh right!" Dimentio713 removed the tape and Ally screamed at him.

"ALL RIGHT! YOU ASKED ME TO GET ROPE AND TAPE FOR YOU, YOU DRUG ME, AND FINALLY I WAKE UP WITH TAPE ON MY MOUTH AND TIED UP! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU DUDE! YOU HELPED ME OUT!" Ally exclaimed.

"Yeah… I ran out of people to review with me… And I fear this anime might take a sharp turn for my sanity…" Dimentio713 explained,

"But still! Kidnapping me? You could've just asked!" Ally explained.

"Oh yeah! That idea completely slipped my mind!" Dimentio713 said happily.

Ally groaned, "Alright, what do you need me for?"

"Well… Like I said, I need help…" Dimentio713 told Ally.

She rolled her eyes, "Alright… Just untie me…" Dimentio713 untied her and she got out her staff which she promptly used to give Dimentio713 a good whack…

**SCENE BLOCKED FOR VIOLENCE**

Ally was now tied up again. Dimentio713, now beat up, smiled, "Ally… Please don't attempt to kill me!" He smiled and said, "Now to the review!"

* * *

_The main characters (Syaoran, Kurogane, Fay, Mokona, and Sakura) do stuff! While Japanese music plays_

Gee! Looking at people do stuff that entirely pointless is often what you see in anime! Case in point: Naruto, Bleach, and Lucky Star!

***Rolling eyes* Well it shows us the characters…**

But we don't see them now do we?

_The main male leads dress up like cosplayers_

See what I mean? In Naruto, we see random characters!

_The villain, Fei Wong Reed, is standing up with a girl_

HEY! JUST GET TO THE ANIME!

**Be patient!**

_Syaoran's hands are touching Sakura's hands._

Um… Since did this become Tarzan?

**What are you saying?**

Dunno

_They then looks as if they are gonna kiss_

OH PINEAPPLE! *Shields eyes*

***Confused* What's wrong with you.**

I was raised covering my eyes from people who kiss…

**Huh?**

Yeah, don't ask… (I'm serious!)

_(Revealed to be in a tube while music plays)_

WHA-?

_(Then Sakura grows wings)

* * *

_

"Huh?" Dimentio turned his head around, "What's happening? Why is she flying?"

Ally then took over, "So Syaoran screams… Um… Is the mute button on? Cause I can't hear him… Or Saukra…"

* * *

_Title screen that's in Japanese_

One sec… *Goes online* It's called Destines Converge…

**Interesting…

* * *

**

(Shows the Clow Kingdom)

"We then see sand dunes with a giant theme park…" Dimentio713 looked around, "Honestly, what in the world is that thing?"

"It's a kingdom." Ally simply said.

"Um… It looks as if there is an unfinished roller coaster, and in the center is like a giant Disneyland attraction…" Dimentio713 said plainly, "So we pan to the house and see our main protagonist!"

* * *

_Syaoran is seen with a hood and then takes it off and stares at a picture of his dad._

WAIT A MOMENT! WASN'T HE JUST DOING THIS?

(Syaoran touches Sakura's hands)

HONESTLY!

_Syaoran: Hey dad, I'm home._

I'm voice-acting!

**Hey! He looks cute!**

Yeah… But, I'm a dude, I like cuddly stuff like this: *Holds up a Winnie-the-Pooh Bear stuffed animal* And this! *Shows Kirby*

**Okay… You really like soft cuddly stuff that's cute…**

*Hugging Winnie-the-Pooh* Huh?

**Never mind…**

_*Door is getting knocked*_

_Syaoran: Coming. *Open door*_

SHOW SOME EMOTION! JEEZ!

_Sakura: Syo!_

You know when I hear the word Sakura… I think of this:

(Warning: Dramatization of Sakura from Naruto: I LUV SAUSKE!)

I hope that Syaoran doesn't have a brother who killed his clan and swore revenge…

…**Um… Okay…**

_Sakura: How was the excavation? _

Boring!

_Sakura: *Continuing* was it fun?_

Um… What's the answer… NO!

_Sakura: Are you glad to be home?_

I was until you came to my house… What are you even doing here and didn't I lock this door so you WON'T get in?

* * *

Ally looked at Dimentio harshly, "Really, I mean… Sure the voice actor here is kinda bad and annoying, but still! It is an interesting first episode."

Dimentio713 shrugged, "Meh, I guess…"

* * *

_Syaoran: Yes, indeed. It went quite well._

_Sakura: Quite well…_

_Syaoran: What?_

_Sakura: Come on stop the formal talk_

YEAH! Be like this!

* * *

Dimentio713 was now in gangster clothes, "Yo! The excavation was awesome in the hizz, izzlee, house!'

Ally looked at him, "Honestly? That's what you did?"

"Well what do you expect… This is a shameless attempt at humor…" Dimentio713 replied… Now in Konata's clothes, "NOT AGAIN!"

Ally stifled a laugh at Dimentio's misfortune.

* * *

_Syaoran: Sorry Princess._

I'm required by internet law to say this… Well, excuuuuuuuuuuuuse me Princess!

**Where's that from?**

The animated series of Legend of Zelda

**Oh…**

_Sakura: It's Sakura, for the last time. No titles with us._

_Syaoran: Of course Princess_

***Both* DOH!**

_Sakura: *Comes uncomfortably close* _Woah! _Sa-ku-ra._

_Syaoran: Right. Sakura._

You know, I'm shocked that Syaoran isn't sweating… A girls really close to him, they're on the ground, and they nearly kissed in the beginning!

_Sakura: *Smiles then gasps* Does this hurt you?_

_*Reveals that the two are on top of each other*_

*Grossed out face* …

_Saukra: Am I heavy?_

HEAVY AS A BRICK!

_Sakura: Well anyways Syaoran, glad you're back._

YAY! ROMANCE THAT DOESN'T CONSIST OF KISSING!

**But…**

I mean, I prefer love that is shown through talking… Not kissing and what-not…

_Syaoran: Me too._

ACT!

_Sakura: So how long do you have this time?_

Next Sunday A.D.

**Okay… Or it can be thousands of miles away…**

*High-five between the two*

_Sakura: (Continuing) A couple of days?_

Okay so we were wrong…

_Syaoran: Actually, I'm going tonight. I only came home for a change of clothes.

* * *

_

Dimentio713 lifted his hand up while the sound, waa-waa-waaaaaaaaaaaaa, played.

* * *

_Sakura: Of course._

(N. Bison: NATURALLY!)

…That was unexpected…

**What? The fact that it was the Nostalgic Bison instead of M. Bison?**

Correct…

_Sakura: (Continuing) Those ruins won't explain themselves…_

Of course there was King Tut's tomb…And the Dark Eye's realm of prophecy…

_Syaoran: Well, I do have to buy some supplies for the dig tomorrow though, you wanna tag along?

* * *

_

"So the two just walk and talk about Sakura's brother, the king… Sakura ponders if he's just being mean, or if he wants to keep her safe because of Syaoran… Well, I guess that scene after the title card may be some evidence…" Dimentio713 said.

Ally then took over, "So Sakura goes grocery shopping and they get some apples and everybody recognizes her… Oops… I guess this scene was taken into account…"

(Sakura's hood gets off her head)

**EPIC FAIL!**

"Okay honestly, why didn't she notice that her hood was off… I mean, when I wear a hoodie, I notice when my hood gets off, it's the wind isn't it?" Dimentio713 said, "So, she should know…"

"But this is the girl who's incredibly skinny and was able to knock Syaoran to the floor…" Ally explained.

"Right… ANIME LOGIC!" Dimentio713 exclaimed while cheers were heard, "Um… What company produced this series?"

"CLAMP," Sakura replied.

"I'm sticking with anime logic, it's fun to say." Dimentio713 said.

"Alright… So Syaoran monologues to himself…" Ally said while the clip played.

(Syaoran: The people here really do love her)

"NO DUH!" They both exclaimed. Then Dimentio713 noticed Ally's change in personality, "What's with you?"

"Oh, me? I'm fine; I just wanna know what it's like being you!" Ally replied.

"Oh, okay!" Dimentio713 said happily as he untied her… And Ally got out her staff once more and hit Dimentio on the head, "OKAY! THAT TEARS IT!"

**(Another fight scene…)**

The two were both bruised and looked at each other,

"Let's just agree to disagree, okay?" Dimentio noted.

Ally sighed, "All right…"

* * *

_Place Guard: There she is! Straight ahead!_

And that's what you get for having a faulty hoodie.

_Syaoran: Oh no. Palace guards_

***Both* ACT! **

Dang it! You sound so dull and bored!

_Sakura: If they take me home, we'll miss our whole day together! _

_Syaoran: (Placing hand on Sakura) Let's go! (Runs and Sakura is in mid-air)_

Running away from the local keepers of the peace! Our hero, ladies and gentlemen!

**At that, I have to admit, HOW COULD SHE BE PICKED UP SO EASILY!  
**

Tell me about it! I mean, it makes as much sense as Sonic 06's kissing scene!

(Hitler: OF COURSE! Don't you know anything about science!)

Okay, that gag is so out of place…

(Luigi: I'm going to look for some gold.)

Stop it!

_Both: (Sighs and pants from running so much and they fall to the ground)_

Gee… I wonder what will happen now! Also, Clow Country looks like Space Mountain… I just wanna know why!

_Sakura: Long time since we ran like that._

GOODNESS! HER VOICE IS SO ANNOYING! I PREFER THE JAPANESE DUB OVER THIS!

**Tell me about it, in my opinion, Japanese sounds way cooler!**

_Syaoran: Yeah, too long. (Almost gets up, but Sakura holds his hand)_

SHOW SOME EMOTION! YOU'RE LIKE A ROBOT! AND CONSIDERRING WHAT YOU ACTUALLY ARE, I'M NOT SHOCKED!

_Sakura: No, don't get up, let's stay like this for a while…_

It's so sappy! AND I'M LOVING IT!

**What a romance freak…**

Shut up!

_The two stare at each other while music plays_

(Konata: STAAAAAAAAARE…)

_Syaoran and Sakura are looking at the ruins_

_Syaoran: Whenever I see them, I think about my dad… Unearthing these ruins was his dream…_

Does he show any emotion? Besides, you know, love for Sakura and that he'll so anything for her?

_Sakura: It's hard to believe it's been seven years, seven years since you came to this country with your father._

Potential plot point?

_Syaoran: Yeah, I remember it like it was yesterday, my dad, the archeologist, kneeling at your dad's throne, asking for permission to excavate this kingdom's biggest mystery, _

And then they both died, the end.

_Sakura: That was the first time I saw you. I thought you were cute_

… **Wow, this series isn't that awesome anymore… But this is the first episode, so it's alright.**

I think their love will play a big part in this series.

_Syaoran: My dad didn't finish his dig, he died in the middle of it._

I WAS CORRECT! YAY!

_Syaoran: (Continuing) But before he passed, he told me he was happy. It was enough that he was chasing his dream_

***Starting to sob* I don't really know why this series' first episode isn't filled with fighting… But this moment is sad!**

Really? Then I guess that he's actually a clone of the real one!

**You'll be shocked soon enough…**

_Sakura: If I asked you to live at the palace, would you?_

_Syaoran: Live there? No I couldn't do that._

Dude, you live alone in a small house that is stuffed with random stuff… I think the palace would be a better place to live.

_Sakura: But why? We've got plenty of room and you're my best friend_

(That guy from American Idol: You are my brother, my best friend forever, singing the songs and the music that you love oh!)

_Syaoran: Your people built that palace for nobility and I certainly don't qualify as that. Besides, I like the excavation work I'm doing and it pays enough for my own place._

Okay, first of all, being an archeologist must be really cruddy if your house looks small…

_Sakura: It's not about charity, I barely get to see you anymore. I hate that._

**Well… He does have a job and stuff, I really think that you should respect his decision.

* * *

**

Dimentio then said, "So the two keep talking… And talking… And Sakura is about to admit she loves him until…"

(Bells ring)

"Whoa! Isn't that a bit too much sound!" Ally exclaimed.

"What? I can't hear you! The bells are too loud!" Dimentio exclaimed, "So Sakura says that she'll tell Syaoran later and that 'things are about to change.' Why do I have a feeling that it'll change for the worse…"

"So Syaoran wonders if he should have feelings for Sakura and thinks that he shouldn't have those feelings," Ally stated, "I still think something bad will happen…"

* * *

_Sakura: (Hiding and then smiling)_

_Touya: Nice tiptoeing. Are you practicing for ballet?_

**Either A: He's being sarcastic, or B: He's serious…**

Most likely A…

_Sakura: Touya! I'm home! How are you?_

_Touya: Wasting the day with that kid again?_

Just so you know, she has been sadly… She was about to confess she loves him until the bell rang.

_Sakura: I didn't waste a minute and he's not a kid!_

How old are these guys? Cause I should note that they look very teenager-like, so I'm gonna have to agree with Touya…

_Touya: I'm just calling it as it is._

Hey! I'm correct!

_Sakura: He's not a kid, he does important work and has his own place! He's considerate, mature, and very admirable_

I think the dubber had a lisp when she said that line.

**I believe you're saying the truth… **

_Touya: Admirable, maybe, but a kid_

_Sakura: You bully!_

Say it how it is Touya! This dub is getting worse, worse with its voice acting! I still prefer the Japanese version!

_Yukito: Now, now, is that anyway for royal siblings to behave?_

Well, to be honest, that's how normal siblings behave, it's almost the same thing as other siblings, royal or not… Well, except with my sister… Wait… Do I even have a sister? I mean there's this faint image of me with a girl… Probably just something else…

**Okay… You're obviously insane…**

Well, yeah! I guess I was just born like that…

_Sakura: Hey Yukito!_

MY GOODNESS! THE VOICE IS SO ANNOYING!

_Yukito: The archeologis dropped off this diagram of the work they done so far, if you're interested, sir._

_Opens up diagrams_

_Sakura: Tunnels?_

_Yukito: It seems so; they unearthed an entire system of chambers underneath the ruins_

Huh? What does that mean?

**It means that they found stuff**

Oh!

_Yukito: To think for all these centuries, we never knew they were down there huh?_

_Sakura: Crazy._

_Yukito: But we won't know what function the chambers served, or how deep they go until the excavation's complete_

And some people may die in the process… But who cares!

***Looks shocked* Whoa! You kinda changed there!**

_Sakura: So what's that mean?_

_Touya: For one thing, it means your admirable friend is going to have his hands full for quite awhile._

That and he may die due to caved-in tunnels, bats, or evil curses… JUST LIKE KING TUT!

_Sakura: And you'll love that won't you! (Runs off)_

**Yes, yes, he would.**

_Yukito: Don't be cruel Your Majesty, you know how much that boy means to the princess. _

I mean she luvs him!

_Touya: Drop the fancy titles when we're alone._

Oh! Bishouen characters duking it out!

_Yukito: Well, you are the king, sir._

_Touya: That's right, but you've been my friend a lot longer then that_

**Does this plot point go anywhere? I don't really think so…

* * *

**

"So Syaoran is seen and Touya simply wonders what is wrong with him and what he's supposed to be, but it turns out that it's just a brother's instinct…" Dimentio713 noted, "Likewise, with me… Or is it?"

"So Yukito discusses Syaoran's and Sakura's relationship and that it will be great trials and tribulations to the kingdom…" Ally said, "Though I have to admit, what are these characters doing… And the main evil guy theme plays while Wong Reed says this:"

(Reed: Hm, the mirror reflects the image of an isolated man, living in is misforgotten time, the moment has come, the convergence we've awaited begins…)

(Chester A. Bum: CHUN! CHUN! CHUN!)

* * *

_Kurogane: A whole land of weaklings, isn't there anyone who can put up a good fight?_

Um… Hi Kurogane… Didn't expect to see you …

_Princess Tomoyo: You're certain it was him, again_

_Random Ninja Girl: I'm sure._

_Princess Tomoyo: Even after I implored him, he went on another violent spree?  
_

Gee… Kuro must be really mad at something or another…

_RMG: What will you do now?_

**Probably send him to another world**

_Tomoyo: There's only one path that can change him…_

_We then cut to Fai who jumped out of the pool._

_Random Servant Girl: A sleep spell?_

_Fai: Yes, I couldn't find another way to contain him._

_RSG: Now that it's done, what's next Fai?_

WORLD TRAVELING!

_Fai: Escape, there's no real guarantee that the seal will last, and I don't want to be close when he does break free. Fleeing the country isn't enough, there's to much risk he'll find me, I must go to other worlds. Lands King Ashura cannot reach._

I WAS CORRECT! But he's gonna have to escape from the country!

**Actually it's world, not country…**

Oh yeah…

_(Scene change to the Clow Country!)_

_Sakura: Hey Shao, I wonder if you're still at work over there. I promise I'll tell you soon. I love you with all my heart._

CUTE!

**Romantic boy…**

Shut up!

_(Sounds are heard while the ruins glow)_

_Sakura: What's that sound? It's beautiful! I never heard anything like it before. Why does it sound so familiar? It's for me... It's calling my name… _

*Holding phone* Yeah, Sakura, are you alright?

_Sakura then closes her eyes and flies…_

***Both* Huh?**

_We then see a whole bunch of stuff, the Clow Country symbol, Kurogane's homeworld, Fei Wong Reed's symbol, Fai's Homeworld and finally the scene in the beginning_

(Caliburn: It begins!)

* * *

"So Syaoran walks through the ruins and sees a feather symbol and wants to know what it means… Probably, your girlfriend will lose her memories… But it might not happen…" Dimentio713 then sighed, "I'm gonna be correct aren't I?"

Ally nodded her head, "Yup…"

"So Syaoran sees the princess and is happy to see his love interest… But she acts like a zombie and just does something to the symbol… And it starts to glow!"

_Syaoran: What is this? _

A crazy place filled with pitfalls… I mean look!

_(Sakura goes inside the hole and guys dressed in black are seen)_

_Touya: The ruins! _

_Yukito: It seems the tribulations have already begun!_

***Both* NOW IT GETS INTERESTING!  
**

_The guys in black act like robots and have knives for hands_

AWESOME! TIME TO SEE SOME KICK-BUTT ACTION!

_Syaoran: (Sees Sakura) It's that same symbol! It's like she's a part of it now!_

THIS GUY IS SHOWING EMOTION!

**AWESOME!**

_Syaoran: Sakura!_

And now the dubber just isn't trying anymore

***Sigh***

_Sakura then gains wings_

Huh?

_Syaoran: What's… going on?_

That's our question too!

_Syaoran: Stay there!_

**OH BOY! The true adventure begins!**

_Reed: (Watching) Out of the possible dimensions, the wings are being gifted to the one to guide the way, that power is being awakened at long last._

**OH HOW CRAZY!  
**

I know! This scene is what gripped me into this series!

_Syaoran: Sakura!_

You mean, Sakuuuuuura.

* * *

"So Sakura's wings go away and she seems to have fallen asleep…" Dimentio stated, "And the ruins start to crumble as epic music plays!"

(Xing Hao: {Yes, that's her name} He interrupted the process. The awakening has failed.)

(Reed: Not so, we got what we need from him, the events have been set into motion and the power to cross time and space… Will be mine.)

"OH! CRUD JUST GOT REAL!" Dimentio exclaimed.

Ally then said, "So they get attacked, but Touya kills the robot before it hurts them, and asks if Sakura will be fine…"

_Syaoran: I'm not sure._

_Touya: That's not the response I'm looking for._

Oh boy!

_Touya: Yukito, I want a prognosis!  
_

_Yukito: I'll do my best_

I guess this is where it gets epic, huh Ally?

**Tell me about it!**

_Yukito: (Places hand on Sakura and Syaoran) Now your memories of what happened are mine as well. So you saw great wings of light and shatter into feathers, correct?_

_Syaoran: That's right._

Why did you even need to ask?

_Yukito: Those wings, they were the manifestation of her spirit._

***Both looking shocked* HOLY CRUD/PINEAPPLE!**

_Syaoran: What? Her spirit? _

Wow! This is getting epic!

_Yukito: The very core of who she is, the memories of birth to present have left her now, and what's worse, they haven't just escaped her, they left this plane entirely. They're gone_

And this is the reason for world traveling!

**Yup!**

_Touya: Her memories?_

Sounds like Mai's duel with Yami Marik….

_Syaoran: So what happens now?_

_Yukito: A body with no heart is just an empty shell, without those memories, the princess will die._

(Ganon: YOU MUST DIE!)

That gag was so impolite!

_Syaoran: Isn't there anything I can do to help her?_

_Touya: Yeah kid, you're her chosen, save her, _

_Syaoran: I will_

**Oh man! This is so suspenseful!**

_Yukito: Quickly now! To the chamber!_

_(Black robots appear)_

_Touya: I'll handle these guys, they won't get pass me._

**Cocky much?**

_Yukito: Brace yourself! I'm going to send you both across the dimensional plane to a completely different world!_

Oh boy!

_Yukito: You will meet someone there, with the power to help you!_

_Syaoran: But wait! Who is this person? And what exactly should I do when I get to them?_

_Yukito: Her name is Yuuko, and she is known as the Dimensional Witch, tell her what happened and she'll guide you from there! Be strong! Do whatever you can to save the princess!_

I'm not saying anything! …Except this: The Princess' feathers are in another castle.

_Syaoran: Hold on!_

_Fai: (Making magic symbols) It's time… To seek her out, and make my escape.(Symbols enwrap him)_

_Kurogane: Hey! What are you doing? I serve you! (Struggling)_

_Tomoyo: You say you want to become stronger, Kurogane, but there is no one left in this country strong enough to challenge you! And you are unwilling to put down your sword. I'm sending you away to help you improve!_

_Kurogane: Yeah right, you're just happy to get rid of me!_

**Dude! She's telling the truth!**

_Tomoyo: Please take care of yourself, I'll be thinking of you. _

_Kurogane: Witch! You'll regret this! I promise you that! (The dimensional warp sequence finishes)_

Did you even ask?

_RNG: Tell me Princess, where are you sending him?_

_Tomoyo: To a sorceress far wiser than I. Her world is just the starting point, not the destination. His journey has just begun._

_(Syaoran and Sakura end up in front of a shop)_

_Yuuko: You've arrived._

_(Kurogane and Fay arrive) _

_Kurogane: Who are you lady?_

The Dimensional Witch, Yuuko.

_Fay: You're the Dimensional Witch, isn't that right?_

I believe so…

_Yuuko: I have been called that, it's true._

_Syaoran: Please madam! My friend needs your help!_

_(Music ends abruptly)_

_Syaoran: She's a princess! Can you please help me save her life?

* * *

_

Dimentio then said, "And so the episode ends on a cliffhanger… I gotta admit, CLAMP made this first episode go from boring to awesome!"

Ally looked at Dimentio, "Um… Can I go now?"

Dimentio smiled, "Yeah, sure!" As he untied her.

"… I'll be watching you!" Ally exclaimed while she left.

"Okay…" Dimentio713 looked kind of scared, "Anyhow, in the later episodes more was revealed, like Syaoran and Sakura are clones, Yuuko's actually dead, and the real Syaoran and Sakura's names are Tsubasa… Kinda strange… Anyhow, see you guys in the next Review that has Maskwitnessing!

* * *

_**(Hare Hare Yukai plays)**_

_**Final Verdict:**_

_**Pros:**_

_Very good art style_

_Intriguing plot that pulls you in._

_**Cons:**_

_Boring in the first few minutes_

_Kinda makes no sense…_

_Overall Rating: 7.5, it's not amazing, but it's decent. I would recommend it to any anime fan. _

**Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles is owned by CLAMP**

**Everything else is owned by their respective owners**

**Next Review: FATE. Time for one of the hardest Bullet Hell games to be created for the WiiWare!

* * *

**

**Hope you all liked it and Sakura1067, sorry if I made your character OOC… So very sorry!**


	9. Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Episode 1

Dimentio had his hands on his forehead,

"I am so sorry…" Dimentio said as he put his head up, "I just can't video game reviews! I mean it's difficult! Very sorry… FATE is never gonna be done…I'm making a new schedule, so sorry if you're looking forward to it. But I'll tell you my opinion of it. FATE is difficult, but a fun game and I really think you should go buy it today! On the Wii Shop Channel…anyhow, time for Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya!"

(Scenes of said anime play)

"Now Haruhi Suzumiya started life as a light novel and it eventually became a manga! And today, we're looking into the anime. Now this is a very anime! It's very popular because of this song: Hare Hare Yukai. Now that is closing theme for this series, but anyhow…let's get started!"

* * *

_**I don't care what your thinking as you turn to me**_

_**'Cause what I have in my two hands is enough to set me free (set me free)**_

_**I can fight the feelin' to resist it over time**_

_**But when it's just too much to take you sneak up from behind**_

_**Is it me? You say, you're looking for?**_

_**Let me show you who I am and what I'm here for here for**_

_**Heaaay!**_

_**Try to reach inside of me!**_

_**Try to take my energy!**_

_**Let me show you just what I'm made of**_

_**Simple curiosity, trying to take a bite of me**_

_**Let me show you just what I'm made of now...**_

_Dimentio, Dimentia, and Fawful were doing the Hare Hare Yukai dance_

**Maskwitness Reviews: Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya**

* * *

"So we begin with this scene!"

* * *

_Kyon: Okay, asking somebody how long they believed in Santa Claus is so stupid you can't consider the topic suitable for idle conversation._

HEY! I BELIEVED in Santa for… never really... I kinda never really cared for Santa Claus, but he's an interesting character! But I do believe in Santa Christ!

(Team TGWTG: WE BELIEVE IN SANTA CHRIST! WE BELIEVE IN SANTA CHRIST!)

"I BELIEVE IN SANTA CHRIST!" Dimentio started to blink, "Sorry…got into character…"

_Kyon: But if you still want to know long I still believe in some old fat guy who wears a funky red suit, I can tell you this, I've never believed in him. Ever._

You…you…you mean, SANTA NEVER EXISTED! NO! Just kidding…yeah, I just like saying that, I mean there's no scientific proof that Santa exists! But St. Nick did! He was a saint in Turkey or something, in fact we should get back to the review!

_Kyon: The Santa that showed up at my Kindergarten Christmas Festival, I knew he was fake._

Yeah, some little kid pulled off his beard and his childhood was ruined forever!

_Kyon: And I never saw mommy kissing Santa Claus or anything._

And your opinion on your mom would've been RUINED if she did! In fact, why would she do that! That…you know what; I'm not gonna say it!

_Kyon: But I have to say, as a little kid, I knew better than to believe in some old man who only worked one day a year. _

But Santa Christ…he works everyday! He likes pancakes! HE LIKES PANCAKES!

_Kyon: Now having said that, it wasn't until I got older that I realized that aliens, time travelers, ghosts, monsters, espers, evil syndicates, and the anime/manga/fantasy flick heroes that fights said evil syndicates…(sighs) were also fake. Okay, maybe I always knew those things were bogus, I just didn't want to admit it. All I ever wanted were alien, time traveler, ghost, monster, esper, evil syndicate, or the hero that fought them to appear and just say, 'Hey!'_

* * *

Dimentio nodded, "I agree with you!" Dimentio started to clutch his head, "Weird memories coming back!"

* * *

_Kyon: Unfortunately, reality is a hard road indeed. Yup, you gotta admit, the laws of physics puts a damper on things. I even stopped watching stopped watching those TV shows about the aliens and ghosts and stuff. Aliens, time travelers, esepers, of course they don't exist! But a little part of me wishes that they did._

Kinda like me…I STILL HAVE THOSE WEIRD MEMORIES!

_Kyon: I guess I've grown up and realized that I can about those things and still accept reality. But by the time I got out of junior high, I pretty much outgrew that kind of stuff. And I guess I got used to the idea of living in an ordinary world. And just like that, I was in high school! That's when I met her._

Padding, padding

* * *

Dimentio smiled, "Yeah, in summary, he's a boy who's gonna get shocked at who's that going to say the weirdest thing…EVER!"

* * *

_Haruhi: I'm Haruhi Suzumiya, from East Junior High. First off, I'm not interested in ordinary people._

Wha-?

_Haruhi: But if any of you are aliens, time travelers, espers, come see me. That is all._

*Blinks* There's gotta be something wrong with this girl…but I think she'll find out that that is all true!

_Kyon: Is that supposed to be funny?_

And cue the epic…COLORS!

(Announcer from Sonic Colors: FINAL COLOR BLASTER!)

_Kyon: There stood before me, an amazing, beautiful girl!_

* * *

"THAT GIRL IS WEIRD! But still, what else can happen!" Dimentio shrugged and continued watching the show.

* * *

_Teacher: Okay…next…_

_Kyon: I think everyone thought she was kidding, but it wasn't a joke. And it wasn't anything to laugh about. Haruhi is always dead serious. _

_(The men's and women's bathroom sign gets zoomed into)_

WHOA! PERSONAL SPACE!

_Kyon: And that's how we first met. Looking back, I want to believe it was just coincidence. _

Something will happen. I know it!

* * *

"And was pretty much 2 minutes…and we're still counting them! So the opening theme plays and it's ignorable, so I'm not getting into it. "

* * *

_Kyon: As long as Haruhi Suzumiya is sitting quietly, she's just like any other extremely beautiful high school girl_

Japanese schoolgirls are always like that! Even the middle schoolers…

_Kyon: And my seat just happens to be in front of her. I mean, can you blame me for wanting to exploit the seating arrangement so I could, um, get to know her better?_

YES! And you obviously have a crush on her…I know had those…

_Kyon: Hey, those stuff you're saying when you were introducing yourself, were you serious about that?_

_(Haruhi looks at Kyon as if she doesn't care.)_

(Bakura: I don't care)

_Haruhi: What about the stuff I was saying?_

_Kyon: Well, you know, about the aliens and stuff._

_Haruhi: Why are you an alien or something?_

I'm a time traveler! But I still don't care about the fact I'm from 500 years of the FREAKING future! I have family here…Weird memories!

_Kyon: Well no, just-_

_Haruhi: Well no, just what?_

BURN!

_Kyon: Well I…just forget it._

_Haruhi: Well, why are we talking right now? You're wasting my time._

* * *

Dimentio sighed, "I never got women. Why are they always like this at times? It's kinda annoying…my sister claims that nobody cares that I hate Twilight…you know, I'm just gonna let these memories just float, it's alright, I'm just insane!" Dimentio smiled and blinked for a while and said, "Just continue the episode."

* * *

_Kyon: Later on, I found out that a few of my classmates were from the same junior high as Haruhi. _

Gotta admit. It happens…High schooler speaking here!

_One of the Guys in the Those Two Guys pair: Look, if you got the hots for her. Forget it. After being in the same class as her for three years, I know her pretty well. Let's just say that she's what you call beyond eccentric_

I'M ECCENTRIC! ALONG WITH JACK SPARROW!

(Capt. Jack Sparrow: Captain Jack Sparrow)

Dude, you're obsessed with rum…

_The Second of the Guys in Those Two Guys pair: Like her introduction?_

Yes!

_First guy: Yup, in junior high, I can't remember a day she wasn't doing something completely wacky. You ever hear of the quad scribbles incident?_

*Looks around* No…

_Kyon: No, what's that?_

_First guy: You know that thing that draws lines on the athletic field?_

Not really, I'm not in Japanese high school student…

_First guy: Ah, what do you call that thing again, whatever. Well, she used that thing to draw this big, mysterious symbol in the school quad. She snuck into the school grounds at night to draw it._

Obsessesed….

_Second guy: Yeah, I remember reading about that. I think it was in the local section in the daily newspaper._

Well, I'm in America, so I've never heard of it! So…how does Kyon not know a thing about this event?

_Second guy: It sorta looked like a botched version of a Nazca drawing, didn't it?_

Look out! The Dark Signers are coming! I gotta get my children's card game deck and my motorcycle to play it on!

_Kyon: So you're telling me she did this all by herself?_

_First guy: No doubt and she totally admitted doing it._

Wow…why'd she do it?

_First guy: Oh yeah, one morning, I get to class early. All the desks were shoved out into the hall! And then there's the time she painted that star on the roof. And this-_

_Kyon (Thinking): How did she do it?_

* * *

"So they talk about Haruhi and I swear she's like Konata! She gets good grades and is good at sports! And they also talk about how she dated people for a short amount of time and that the longest time somebody went out with her, it was a week…and the shortest was just 5 minutes! Dang…" Dimentio then looked around, "Been with Dimentia for a while now…"

Dimentia arrived on the scene, "Somebody say my name?"

Dimentio just looked around and said, "If I say yes, will you kill me?"

Dimentia shrugged, "Probably…"

Dimentio sweat-dropped at this, "I'm just gonna go back to reviewing…"

Dimentia smiled, "Okay! I'm done here anyways!" She then left.

Dimentio blinked for a while and shrugged, "Kinda random…"

* * *

_Haruhi: I don't have any time to deal with ordinary humans! _

_Shortest guy: Then why the heck did you say okay?_

* * *

"So the guy with the large fanbase simply says to forget about asking her out and Kyon just thinks this,"

(Kyon: Forget it? What's to forget if I wasn't thinking about it?)

* * *

_First guy: If you were me, there's only one girl in this class to go after, and that's her._

_(Looks at extremely "hot" girl)_

Personally, Haruhi seems just my type if I didn't have a girlfriend…

_Kyon: Who?_

_First guy: Ryouko Asakura, and I'm telling you she's on the top 3 of the freshman hottie list._

"Sorry…but I don't like how he's comparing girls! I mean it's almost like how Facebook began! I mean, it's really degrading."

_Kyon: So what, are you telling me that you checked out all the freshman girls?_

_First guy: Heck yeah! I ranked them all from A to D and I even so far to memorize the names of all the A list girls buddy!_

*Whispering* Stalker…

_Second guy: Really? So what ranking did Asakura get?_

_First guy: She gets double A+! In top of being gorgeous, I bet her personality is wonderful! _

*Smiling* And a killer…it's disturbing, I know…

* * *

"So Kyon notices Haruhi and says that she has eccentricities and calls them 'Haruhi Eccentricities'" Dimentio said, "AND NOW WE SHALL PLAY…HARUHI'S ECCENTRICITIES!"

(Kyon: Haruhi Eccentricity #1: A different hair style every day)

(Kyon: Haruhi Eccentricity #2: Our P.E. classes are separated from boys to girls, and when changing into uniforms, girls use the odd number classrooms and boys use even number. {Haruhi is changing as he's explaining} It didn't matter if guys were standing around, she'll just start changing out of her school uniform. To Haruhi, guys were pretty much the same as a bag of potatoes)

(Kyon: Eccentricity #3: It was rather irritating that Haruhi joined every team and every extracurricular club this school had to offer. Every one of the sports clubs liked Haruhi to join their respective teams and she turned everyone of them down. She changed clubs on a daily basis depending on her mood, in the end though she didn't remain a member of a single one of the clubs. I mean what the heck {Whenever there's a swear word, I'll replace it} does she want to do anyway?)

"Yeah…I mean, she's a CRAZY girl! I mean, she kinda acts weird and confusing! And moody too!" Dimentio said in agreement with Kyon.

(Mikuru: That's classified)

"SHUT UP! YOU DON'T SHOW UP YET!"

* * *

_Kyon: And before I knew it, it was the day before the Golden Week vacation_

What's that? TO THE INTERNET!

(Batman swirl)

It's just a normal vacation…

_Kyon: Oh, and by the way, Kyon that's my nickname and I really wish people would stop calling me that already…_

SO WHAT'S YOUR REAL NAME!

_Kyon: (Looks at Haruhi's hair) Oh I guess today's Wednesday, isn't it?_

_Kyon: (Narrating) Something snapped inside me, I can't think of any reason why, so do you change your hair everyday to ward off alien invaders?  
_

*Shrugs* Maybe… or maybe…GIANT KAIJU ATTACKS!

(Godzilla attacks a city)

* * *

Dimentio looked behind him, "Huh, could've sworn I saw Godzilla...optical illusion? Maybe…"

Fawful was then playing with a machine, "Sorry, trying out my hologram machine…"

Dimentio blinked, "Okay…"

* * *

_Kyon: (Narrating) I was talking to Haruhi Suzumiya_

_Haruhi: So, when did you notice? _

_Kyon: Hm. A while ago._

_Haruhi: I see._

BORING! BORING! GIVE ME SOME FUNNY!

_Haruhi: Actually, I have a theory that each day of the week has its own image with its own specific color and only goes with that day. I'd say by colors-_

_Kyon: (Narrating over her) It's so odd, we were having a real conversation for the first time._

Well, that's how I met a lot of my friends.

_Kyon: (Narrating) Hey! I kinda understand what she's talking about._

_Kyon: So if you turn that into numbers, Monday would be zero, Sunday would be six, right?_

_Haruhi: Right_

Okay…I'm officially confused…

_Kyon: I kinda fell that Monday's more like a one._

Yeah, I feel like Monday's the start of the week and Sunday is when you get purified for the end of the week.

_Haruhi: I don't think anybody was asking for your opinion. _

OH! BURN!

_Kyon: Oh, is that so?_

_(Haruhi and Kyon stare at each other)_

(Konata: STAAAAARE…)

_Haruhi: Have I met you somewhere before? Like maybe in the past or something like that?_

_Kyon: Not likely. _

_Kyon: (Narrating) Usually, an event is triggered by something trivial, well here's my trigger. I was surprised that Haruhi even replied with a half-decent answer. I totally thought she would say 'Shut up loser, who cares?' You get the picture._

LET'S GET READY FOR HAIR CHANGE!

_Kyon: (Narrating) And so, when Haruhi came to class the next day with all her hair chopped off, I was rather disturbed by it._

This is how they became friends, just talking to people.

_Kyon: I mean, cutting it short like that the day I made my comment, it's rather rash, don't you think?_

_Haruhi: Not really._

Wow…she's really can hear Kyon's narration!

* * *

"So Kyon reveals that he thought that his talking with Haruhi became a ritual, so this is how their friendship came…" Dimentio said, "So Kyon asks if every boy she dated she dumped and Haruhi reveals that none of them were an alien, time traveler, or an esper. She really thinks that she would rather date a really interesting person…even if the person was a he or a SHE! Talk about depraved…"

* * *

_First guy: Hey Kyon, you need to tell what type of magic spell you're using!_

_Kyon: What are you talking about?_

Well…it's just talking…

_First guy: I've never seen Suzumiya talk that long before, and I'm not exaggerating man. What the __heck__ did you say to her?_

Yeah! I wanna know! I mean, she seems really interesting!

_Kyon: Huh, wonder what I could've said to her. I think it was pretty random stuff._

Well, that's how I met most of my friends.

_First guy: This is phenomenon!_

_Second guy: Kyon always gone after the strange ones, the weirder, the better._

_Kyon: A little louder please, so everyone can hear you._

*Holding a megaphone* Please? Oh…it's just a joke…

_Asakura: We all want to know how you did it. _

JUST TALK TO HER! ONCE YOU GET PAST HER ECCENTRIC SELF, SHE'S ACTUALLY NICE!

_Asakura: No matter how much I do, I can't get Haruhi to answer any of my questions, what do you do to get her to open up. Do you have any tips for me?_

Just talk…just talk about weird stuff…

_Kyon: No idea._

* * *

"So Kyon gets kinda angry that they are trying to use her to talk to Haruhi and decides to just quit talking to her by doing this:"

(Kyon: Apparently we're changing seats, so I picked a number out of a cookie tin that gave me the seat next to the window, second to the back. An awesome seat I may say so, farewell Haruhi, foreverrr…)

"First, I highly doubt that you'll not have a seat nearby her. Second, your speech is kinda strange, and third, picking a number out of a cookie tin? That's interesting…wonder if they did that in Lucky Star…note to self: watch more episodes…and it then turns out that Haruhi is sitting right behind him...poor guy…"

* * *

_Kyon: Hey I've heard you checked out all the clubs at school, give me a head's up if you know any interesting ones, okay?_

_Haruhi: Absolutely not!_

_Kyon: (Narrating) An instant reply_

_Haruhi: Absolutely not!_

Okay…what's up with Kyon's monologues? I mean, I know the light novel had Kyon as the narrator, but still, his monologues are kinda boring…

_Kyon: It seems she likes to say the word 'Absolutely' a lot. _

_Haruhi: I thought things would get better when I got into high school, but it's the same here as it's been through out all these mandatory school years. Maybe I'm just in the wrong school._

Likewise, though marching band is very interesting…one of my favorite sports.

_Kyon: I sorta wonder what her criteria are. _

_Haruhi: There was a club called the Mystery Research Club_

(Scooby-dooby-do, where are you?)

Sorry, needed to get that out of my system.

_Kyon: Yeah, how was that?_

_Haruhi: It was hilarious, they told me they never had anything they could even remotely call a case and the members were a bunch of mystery novel otakus. Definitely not master detectives. _

Interesting, this is getting out to be very interesting…

_Kyon: Well, that figures._

_Haruhi: Yeah, well I had high hopes for the Supernatural Phenomenon Research Club too, but that thing was just a whole bunch of occult freaks. What do you think of it?_

Dumb people obsessed with idiotic ideas

_Kyon: I don't think about it._

_Haruhi: OH MAN! I'M SO BORED! With all these clubs, you'd think there would be a couple of strange cool ones out there._

She reminds me of Konata…and by that, I mean her voice…

_Kyon: Listen, you can't help it if there aren't any. Besides, us normal human types, we gotta be happy with what you're given. You know what I'm saying._

Besides, you'll never know what you have until it gets taken away from you…

_Kyon: You can look at it this way, the people who don't like what they got, are the same people who invent things and make discoveries, and advance civilization! _

Like the computer for example! I mean, who created the computer!

_Kyon: They made airplanes cause they wanted to fly and they made cars and trains_

(Train guy: I like trains)

_Kyon: (Continuing) cause they wanted to go place to place. It's as simple as that. The only reason we have the things we have now is because a certain group of people got together and used their talent or imagination or genius or whatever to make it all possible. Ordinary people are probably better off living their ordinary lives living as ordinary people._

I'd rather like doing things that are exciting, I mean I've always wanted to battle evil villains…and robot clones of me.

_Haruhi: SHUT UP! _

BURN!

_Kyon: Perhaps this was this conversation that sparked the idea_

* * *

Dimentio smiled, "And here comes the new club…an amazing club for meeting espers, time travlers, and aliens…the S.O.S BRIGADE!"

* * *

_Kyon: It happened so suddenly._

_Haruhi hits Kyon on her desk and Kyon gets up_

Whoa! What's with her?

_Kyon: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?_

My questions exa

_Haruhi: I GOT AN IDEA!_

And the idea is…

_Kyon: About what?_

You know, at this moment, I gotta wonder what the other students are thinking…they must think that Haruhi is getting kinda weird…

_Haruhi: I can't believe I didn't realize it before! It's so obvious! _

AND LET'S GO! I REALLY WANNA SEE THE IDEA!

_Kyon: What is?_

_Haruhi: If it doesn't exist, I should just make it myself!_

Come on! This is getting exciting!

_Kyon: Make what yourself?_

_Haruhi: Make a club!_

I know! I wanna make my own SOS Brigade at my own school…just need the armband…

_Kyon: I hear ya, but you gotta calm down, right?_

_Haruhi: What's with you? This is what we're talking about! You should be happy about this development!_

You know, the more I think about it…the more Kyon reminds me of Kits…

* * *

Kits entered the room, "Somebody say my name?"

Dimentio smiled, "Yup!" She then pointed his finger at Kits, "YOU REMIND ME OF KYON!"

Kits blinked, "Okay…I'm just gonna go now…" Kits left the room and Dimentio chuckled to himself.

"Back to the review."

* * *

_Kyon: Well…we're in the middle of class…_

Did anybody notice?

_Everyone looks nervously._

I think they did…

_Haruhi: (Grabs Kyon's tie after the bell rings) You're gonna help._

Wow! She just ran and pointed…talk about your weird character…

_Kyon: (Thinking) I feel like I'm being bullied out of lunch money._

Poor guy…he'll face the weirdest character ever…

_Kyon: What do you need help with?_

_Haruhi: Starting my new club! That's what!  
_

_Kyon: First tell me why I have to help you set up a club? It's your idea in the first place. And you can let go of my tie now? _

_Haruhi: I'll find us a room and some members, and I want you to personally handle all the paperwork to be turned into the school_

_Kyon: (thinking) She's not listening…_

Yipe…I hope I never have a girl like that at my school.

_Kyon: Why don't you tell me what type of club it's going to be?_

_Haruhi: Who cares about that right now? _

A lot of people.

_Haruhi: We gotta make the club first, you got it? Do all that stuff before school ends today, I'll find a room for the club by then! Okkie-dokkie? (Goes down)_

Wow…commanding…kinda like Dimentia…

* * *

Dimentia popped in, "DIMENTIO! TAKE OUT THE TRASH!"

Dimentio sighed, "Excuse me one sec…"

(French Narrator: 5 minutes later)

Dimentio sat back down, "See what I mean?"

* * *

_Kyon: Rules for the creation of a new extra-curricular group. At least five members, a teacher to supervise, a name, the name of the person in charge, the purpose of the organization. There's nothing for me to do! It's all in the back of the student handbook._

Like mine!

_Kyon: And I can bet money on this, Haruhi's little scheme, nothing about it will contribute to making school or more fun, of that I'm positive._

Oh boy…

* * *

"So Haruhi introduces Kyon to the new room for the club and a new person with glasses…and it used to be the literary club, and the girl just says that it's alright by her…and Haruhi thinks that it'll be alright as long as he she has someplace to read. And she says her name, as she reveals her eyes."

(Yuki Nagato: Yuki Nagato)

"I'm an emotionless girl…nothing about me…I have no emotions…" Dimentio said in monotone and went back to his normal way of speech, "Yeah, that's her main purpose."

(Haruhi: Well, there you have it! From now on we're gonna meet up here in this room, right after school! And ya better show up mister, cause if you don't , it's the death penalty!)

"Talk about weird girl…and she really sounds like Konata…must be the same voice actress…" Dimentio said shocked.

* * *

_Kyon: Understood. I don't want to die._

She'll probably not kill you…I mean, would she really kill someone?

_Haruhi: We need to find more club members, we need at least two more people._

This should be interesting…

_Kyon: What does that mean you already have that literary club girl in the head count? Does Haruhi think she comes with the room, like some kind of accessory?_

Probably…

"So Haruhi says that she has a couple of leads and these are the people coming into the new club…"

_Haruhi: I'll meet you there! (Runs off)_

_Kyon: I guess I had no choice. I found myself shuffling myself over to the club room._

_(Scene changes to Nagato)_

_Kyon: So…whatcha reading?_

(Isabella: Whatcha doin')

A light novel most likely…

_Nagato lifts up book._

_Kyon: Is it interesting?_

_Nagato: Unique _

Does she have ANY emotion?

_Kyon: So what part's unique?_

_Nagato: All of it._

NO EMOTION! WHY! I MEAN IS THERE A-

(She's an alien…)

*Blinks* Okay…so we have an alien…

_Kyon: Huh, you really like books._

_Nagato: A little._

_Kyon: I see…can I go home now?_

_Haruhi bursts through the door with a new girl in tow _

_Haruhi: Sorry I'm late, it took me forever to catch her!_

_Kyon: (Narrating) It was another girl…a really beautiful girl_

_Mikuru: What is this? Where am I? W-why did you bring me here? Who are you people anyway? (Sees Haruhi locking the door) Why are you locking the door! What do you want from me?_

* * *

Dimentio sighed, "Oh boy…it's this scene…"

* * *

_Haruhi: Just be quiet. (Puts hand over Miyuki's shoulder) Allow me to introduce our newest member, Mikuru Asahina! _

_Kyon: So much for introductions…where did you kidnap her from?_

_Haruhi: I didn't kidnap anyone, she came here on her own!_

So…why'd you chase her?

_Kyon: Same difference._

_Haruhi: I caught this one day dreaming her brains out in the junior's classroom! During recess, I make it a point to walk every inch of the main building. I remember seeing her a couple of times and well, here she is!  
_

Yipe…kinda creepy…

_Kyon: So that's why I don't see her during recess…Uh, hang on a second, did you say she was a junior!_

Yipe…I don't really talk to much juniors…some are kinda rude…but I know some nice ones in my school

_Haruhi: So, what if she is?  
_

Um…it's kinda weird…

_Kyon: Um…yeah, it's Miss Asahina wasn't it? Why pick her out of all people?_

Oh boy…I'm gonna be sad.

_Haruhi: What are you? Blind? Just look at her! (Points at Mikuru) She's a total little cutie!_

A Moe character? Just like Miyuki? Their names are the same…which came first is the question…

_Kyon: Great, now she sounds like a pervert_

_Haruhi: In this situation, moe is an important concept to keep in mind_

ONCE MORE WITH MOE CHARACTERS! I DON'T HAVE ANY MOE CHARACTERS! It's starting to get annoying…

_Kyon: Sorry? What did you say?_

_Haruhi: MOE! MOE! This girl is a prime example of moe! It's a rule that in stories with strange things going on, you need to have one moe character._

She's starting to remind me of Konata…oh boy…

_Haruhi: Someone with glasses or an omake costume or anything fetishy, it's essential!  
_

Oh boy…

_Haruhi: And that's just the beginning! (Clutches-_

* * *

"I'm just gonna give you a summary…let's just say, there are these things on women…and that's all I have to say…nothing more, nothing less…and Haruhi grabs them…I'm just gonna go to the quiet corner…BKFOOD!" Dimentio said as BKFood came in.

"Hiya Dimentio! What do ya need?" BK said.

"Finish the review for me…ever heard of Haruhi Suzumiya?" Dimentio said to his friend.

BK shook his head, "Not at all!"

Dimentio sighed, "Never mind…GET OUT OF HERE!"

Dimentia entered the room, "Hey Dimentio…"

Dimentio looked at Dimentia, "Finish the review…I can't take anymore of this…" Dimentio left the room while grumbling, "Seriously Haruhi! You had to do that?"

Dimentia blinked, "Okay…let's finish the review!"

* * *

_Kyon: So you're telling me that you brought Miss Asahina up here because she's cute, tiny, and extremely well-endowed? _

*Looking down* In my official artwork…I'm supposed to be somewhat…

_Haruhi: That's right!_

_Kyon: She truly is an idiot._

Agreed.

_Haruhi: I figured what the club needs more than anything is a mascot! _

So you're using a junior? Haruhi, tell me…why somebody older?

_Haruhi: Mikuru, are you a member of any school clubs right now?_

_Mikuru: The Calligraphy Club_

*Showing a fang* ALLITERATION! Sorry, had to get it out…and no I'm not a vampire, it's just a little element used when someone's ready to smile and be evil!

_Haruhi: You can leave that one, it'll just get in the way of our club's activites!_

Wow…she's…

_Mikuru: Well…okay…I understand_

Very, very weak…be strong willed! That's how guys don't try to do bad stuff to you! Or women in this matter…

_Kyon: What did she understand? _

_Mikuru: I'm going to quit the calligraphy club and join this one…however, I don't really know what the literary club does, could you at least tell me that?_

_Haruhi: We're not the literary club Mikuru._

* * *

Dimentio burst through the door, "Is it at that moment now?"

Dimentia shrugged, "Join me to find out." Dimentio and Dimentia sat down at the table and Dimentio was looking like a little kid on candy.

(Haruhi: THE SOS BRIGADE!)

Dimentio cheered and ran off, "THE SOS BRIGADE!" He went to the place where Steel was, "THE SOS BRIGADE!" He ran off to the Insane Critic's place, "THE SOS BRIGADE!" He then went to his local grocery, "THE SOS BRIGADE!" He ran around screaming the name while Dimentia started the review back up.

* * *

_Kyon: The Spreading Excitement all Over the World with the Haruhi Suzumiya Brigade, SOS Brigade for short. Yeah, it's okay laugh now._

To be honest, it sounds kinda cool…and now…

_Kyon: Actually the name should be Spreading Excitement all Over the World with the Haruhi Suzumiya Organization, but we don't have the right to form an organization yet, we still don't know what the point of the club is._

_Haruhi: Brigade will have to do, won't it…_

GET TO HARE HARE YUKAI!

_Kyon: With that baffling statement, the name of the club was decided…yay… just do what ever you want…_

* * *

Dimentio came back, "I'm done and I brought Fawful for the ride…ready?"

Dimentia smiled, "You betcha!"

Fawful sighed, "Am I the only sane one out of all of you, though a little bit weird…"

Akira came inside the review room with DAL, "Alright…let's do this…"

The review ended with Hare Hare Yukai playing and everybody was dancing the somewhat embarrassing dance.

_**FINAL VERDICT!  
**_

_**Pros: **_

_Very good idea_

_Interesting characters_

_**Cons:**_

_Haruhi's messed up! _

_Why does Mikuru put up with Haruhi's embarrassing actions?_

_Overall Rating: 7/10, it's fine, but the first episode is just plain weird…if you watch more of the show, that's where the real action kicks in!_

**Haruhi Suzumiya is owned by Nagaru Tanigawa**

**Everything else belongs to their respective owners.**

* * *

Mecha was seen watching Dimentio713, "And now...send..."

There was a small e-mail and all it said was this, "Fanfiction To Drive Dimentio713 Insane..."

However, what he didn't notice was one fanfic that was able to sneak in...


	10. SkatoonyFan1234's Toy Story

Dimentio sighed, "I really don't wanna do this. I just don't… Welcome to Maskwitness Reviews with Dimentio713 where I check it out, because I feel like it…but right now, I DON'T! Now a couple of months ago, this guy called SkatoonyFan1234 posted this, as a review:"

* * *

review my fanfics

* * *

"Now, it's pretty frustrating that THIS guy did THAT review! So, let's…sadly…get started…" Dimentio sighed, "I really hate doing THIS!"

* * *

_**I don't care what your thinking as you turn to me**_

_**'Cause what I have in my two hands is enough to set me free (set me free)**_

_**I can fight the feelin' to resist it over time**_

_**But when it's just too much to take you sneak up from behind**_

_**Is it me? You say, you're looking for?**_

_**Let me show you who I am and what I'm here for here for**_

_**Heaaay!**_

_**Try to reach inside of me!**_

_**Try to take my energy!**_

_**Let me show you just what I'm made of**_

_**Simple curiosity, trying to take a bite of me**_

_**Let me show you just what I'm made of now...**_

* * *

_Dimentio713 was seen pointing toward Flint and Plasmius, who looked ashamed and had signs for each of them that 'Why' and 'us'_

**Maskwitness Reviews: Skatoonyfan1234's Toy Story**

* * *

"First of all, I gotta ask: Do you think THESE characters are good for their respective roles?"

_Buzz Lightyear- Vlad Plasmius (Danny Phantom)_

Dimentio looked dumbstruck, "Huh? Why VLAD PLASMIUS, the main villain of Danny Phantom, a fruit loop and COMPLETELY miserable and CREEPY…FREAKING BUZZ LIGHTYEAR? MY CHILDHOOD HERO…with Woody…of course, but STILL WHY!"

_Rex the T-Rex- Skulker (Danny Phantom)_

"REX! REX THE INSECURE DINOSAUR IS BEING PLAYED AS SKULKER! THE SKULKER WHO WANTED DANNY PHANTOM, another of my childhood heroes (yes, I had a LOT of childhood heroes), ON HIS WALL! SKATOONYFAN, STOP RUINING MY CHILDHOOD! JEEZ, ONLY THE CAST CHAPTER IN AND I ALREADY HATE THIS!" Dimentio sighed, "Please! Be better…I'M BEGGING YOU, PLEASE!"

_Slinky the toy dog- Major Monogram (Phineas and Ferb)_

Dimentio had his mouth agape, "Wha-? How does that even work? Why?"

_Andy's little sister- Teresa and Tessie [OCS]_

Don't you mean MOLLY! SERIOUSLY, DIDN'T YOU DO RESEARCH! I MEAN, I DID RESEARCH FOR PLANET HILL EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN'T EVEN WORKED ON IT FOR THE PAST MONTHS! And at the topic of Andy, here's Andy's character.

_Andy- Tasha (Backyardigans)_

Granted it's a better choice most of SkatoonyFan's casting choices, but the Backyardigans? STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!

"And so, we start the utter Psychic move from Pokemon to a level 2 Pidgey from a level 100 Mewtwo…" Dimentio blinked before realizing, "Wow…that's the WORST comparison I have EVER made…"

* * *

_Suddenly Tasha made another toy 'jump' onto the scene from somewhere. This someone is a teenager with black, wild hair, a lab coat, and spray on shoes covering his feet. This was Flint Lockwood.__  
__With a grin, Tasha stood Flint up as she pulls a string on his back.__  
__"Ratbirds!" said Flint via his voice box once the string is pulled.__  
__"Oh crud! It's Flint!" gasped Tasha/MR G in shock.__  
__"That's right and it's time for you to be foiled for the last night, Mr G!" said Jake L./Danny.__  
__"OH, crooked cucumbers!" yelled Tasha/Mr Grumpy. With a giggle, she pulled out one of Mr Grumpy's eye sockets (Mr Grumpy is a toy that has parts that can come apart), leaving him with one eye. "I shoulda hid myself better!"_

Wait, wait, wait…play that part again…the part before SkatoonyFan states that Mr. Grumpy is a toy that has parts that can come apart…even though we know that he's supposed to be Mr. Potato Head, and his role strangely makes MORE sense than Plasimus…because Mr. Potato Head is always grumpy…but it get's destroyed by the later character that appear.

_"That's right and it's time for you to be foiled for the last night, Mr G!" said Jake L./Danny_

Since when was Jake Long in this fic, another one of my childhood heroes… *Realizes something* Dang, a lot of childhood heroes are in this fic, I hope Ash Ketchum doesn't appear… Back to Jake Long's appearance, his… "Appearance" doesn't appear later…at all…I don't know WHY though…

* * *

Then there was a huge bump, "Huh?" Dimentio got up and started to walk from the review room, but was stopped by Kits. "Kits?"

Kits panicked for a bit, "Sorry Dimentio! There's nothing wrong! I'll join you!"

Dimentio blinked, "Okay…"

Kits sighed, "So what are we looking at?"

"SkatoonyFan1234's Toy Story…though he was known as Shrekyardigans a LONG time ago…like in the summer of 2010!"

Kits blinked, "Okay…"

"Let's continue!"

* * *

_"Okay, now you're going to jail for good, Grumpy!" said Tasha/Flint with a grin as she picks up mr g and puts him in a baby crib nearby that has a cardboard sign taped to it that said 'Jail'. "Hope you said goodbye to the females and babies."__  
__Inside 2 small cute hippo girls crawl over and giggled as 1 picks up Maximus. Their names are Teresa and Tessie, Tasha's 1 year old sisters. Giggling, Teresa sucks on the toy thing for a while then Tessie bangs MR Grumpy against the railing of her crib sending his parts flying._

**Gah! What's with the grammar in this! I mean, does he even know ANYTHING about capitalization?**

This is SkatoonyFan… I mean, LOOK AT HIS NUMBERING SYSTEM! IT'S BAD!

_Tasha then threw the ghost rope-like jump rope toward one of the boxes, instantly snagging one._

Um…why does Tasha have a ghost rope-like jump rope?

**Heck if I know…I've never watched the Backyardiagans.**

I've seen it every now and then…when I was bored and at a family friend's house who took care of a little kid…

***Looks at Dimentio with pity* Sucks**

It's stupid…I DON'T GET IT! I MEAN BLUE'S CLUES IS FOR NOSTALGIA! But it's a kid's show, so the last time I watched it was when I was 10! And they RUINED IT! BLUE SHOULDN'T TALK! STUPID NICK JR.! And that was the last time I was outside playing in my own house…now we barely even use it…

_Tasha walked as she kicked another box out of the way.  
"Let's catch them all, Lockwood." He said to the toy.  
He then placed Flint on top of a red steam train toy. The train was named James._

_**Just remember what your old pal said  
Boy, you've got a friend in me**_

_"Executive Producer, CosmoProwerTomahawk"_

_Then, she used the remote control for Tames to move the two around, pushing one of the cardboard boxes.  
"All right," The girl exclaimed._

Who's "Tames?" The J button and the T button on the QWERTY board are pretty far away…

**Well…he could be using another keyboard…but that just accounts for another grammar mistake.**

_The toy tipped a little bit while Tasha laughed. sHe then placed Flint at the bottom of the couch._

_**You've got a friend in me**_

_sHe then pulled the couch lever hard, sending the doll upward.  
"All right," sHe exclaimed._

*Both blink* **Yup…he has bad spelling.**

Agreed.

_"I liked this, mom and dad! Wicked awesome!" said Tasha giving his mom two thumbs up. sHe is very excited. Today is the day her family is going to celebrate her birthday party. True, her birthday isn't for another week but Tasha's parents felt like they should have the party one last time in their old house before they moved into a new home. Tasha was sad that she is going to miss her old home but she got over it eventually._

Let's see…the tenses usage is bad…and the capitalization is STILL HORRIBLE!

**Yeah! The correct sentence should be: Tasha was sad that is going to move from her old home, but she'll get over it eventually!**

* * *

"Jeez! The grammar in here is TERRIBLE!" Kits noted, "I see why Looney is known as 'The Insane Critic.'"

A couple of rooms away, Lunatic121 was helping with putting some balloons up and he sneezed.

Dimentia walked inside, "Bless you!"

Lunatic nodded, "Thanks!"

Dimentia sighed, "Well…I guess there's a lot of things that'll happen soon…"

Looney nodded, "Anyhow, I gotta still help out, a party can't make themselves!"

Back to Dimentio and Kits, they were continuing to rant about the parody.

* * *

_Author's note__  
__Our story has begun. With Jake L.'s party today, what could happen? One thing for sure, Danny isn't the only toy who could move. Find out next time as the toys finds out about Jake L.'s party today...and their response. Read and review, folks!_

Again with Danny and Jake Long? What's with this fic?

**I dunno, I'm not really sure…**

* * *

"So in the next chapter, the grammar is STILL bad and if you've watched the original Toy Story, THERE'S NO ORIGNALITY!" Dimentio complained.

Kits nodded, "And check THIS scene out!"

("Now where is it?" mumbled Flint as he looks around. He then sees the doodle pad by the desk nearby. "Found it. Okay, who's the wise guy who moved it over here?"  
As he goes over and picks it up, Skulker jumps from out of nowhere and roared viciously. It woulda work except for one problem.  
"Hey Skull. What's up?" asked Flint, bored as he looks and sees Skulker trying to scare him.  
Skulker stops roaring and looks hopefully. He said, "Aren't you scared, Flinty? Tell your me the truth. I can take it." Although he was made to be a vicious monster, he is actually a scaredy-cat. Skulker tries his best to be what he is supposed to be without success.  
"Skulker, trust me. I was almost scared that time." said Flint. The truth is, though, he wasn't really scared but he doesn't want to hurt the poor thing's feelings.  
As he makes his way to the podium, Skulker follows him whining, "I need to be tough and scary but I couldn't find it in me. I think I'm coming off as annoying."

Before Flint could respond, a blue blur landed on him and yelled, "You're under arrest, Flint Lockwood!" Flint saw that it was a dark-skinned man with a goatee wearing a policeman suit and white sneakers. His name was Earl Deveraux."Hey, how ya doing, Earl?" Dash asked bored as he got up.

Earl got up and looked hopefully. He said, "Were you scared, Flint? Tell me the truth. I can take it." Although he made to be scary when he attacked, he was actually kinda nervous. Earl always tried his best to be what he was supposed to be without success, mostly becuase he tries _too_hard.

"Earl, believe me. I was that close to being scared that time." Flint said. The truth was, though, he wasn't really scared, but he didn't want to hurt the poor Earl's feelings.)

Dimentio groaned, "I get the Skulker part, it's supposed to be a parody of Rex's scene…though it's not original…but we get ANOTHER ONE! Trust me Skulker and Earl…the fact you guys are here…IT'S ANNOYING!"

Kits nodded, "Yeah! Skulker! You're a fearsome character who hunts rare ghosts! Not some weird character like Rex from Toy Story!"

Then the said ghost came crashing in. "Who compared me to the character who acts like a child?"

Kits and Dimentio blinked, "Hi…Skulker…um...it's this guy…SkatoonyFan."

(Sorry if he's OOC…I've haven't watched Danny Phantom in YEARS!)

"Oh! Well, I'll be hunting him down along with the halfa!" He then left.

Kits and Dimentio blinked, "Well" Kits continued, "The Earl scene in this and the Skulker scene right now has been a…"

(BIG LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT!)

"So besides Truchbull from Matilda being there, there's not much room for originality here…" Dimentio noted, "So yeah…"

"So the Twonkies, which take the place of the Toy Soldiers…which is a STUPID idea, go on and still be unoriginal…"

Kits grinned, "Oh look! Originality!"

(Mr Rude: I'll give you seriously! [farts]

Mr Men/Little Misses: MR RUDE!)

Dimentio sighed, "Oh, no…it's just toilet humor…go back to your posts…and also…HOW CAN A TOY FART!"

"So it turns out that she got other toys…and they are: Gwen Tennyson, a Mr Incredible, an Elastigirl, a Dash, a Jack-Jack, a Frozone, a Syndrome, Sonic the Hedgehog, a Tails, a Knuckles, a Bugs Bunny, a Chuck Baker, a Ben Tennyson, a Jet the Hawk, a Wave the Swallow, a Storm the Albatross, a Zinnia Wormwood, a Mallow, a Geno, a Chaos, a Bowser, a Bert, a Ernie, a Lilo, a Stitch, a Sora, a Donald, a Goofy, a Ken, a Ratchet and a Clank. Word for word…um…these characters are a bit too much…and does SkatoonyFan even LIKE Kingdom Hearts? Cause we NEVER see them AGAIN!" Kits exclaimed, "So yeah…"

Dimentio blinked, "Wait…I read Wormtail's and this one before…they're both the same word for word…and Wormtail's had the same problems too…except there was a shout-out to JusSonic…and ghost kids…" Dimentio looked angry, "THAT'S IT! IF I'M JUST READING A RIP-OFF OF A RIP-OFF…I'M NOT REVIEWING THIS! LOOK AT THESE PASSAGES!"

_"That's right and it's time for you to be foiled for the last night, Maximus IQ!" said Jake L./Danny._

"This one's JusSonic's! Notice the similarities between THIS one!"

_"That's right and it's time for you to be foiled for the last night, Mr G!" said Jake L./Danny._

"Heck! THERE ARE TOO MUCH SIMILARITES! I'M DONE! I READ THE TWO FICS AND I SEE SKATOONYFAN AS A RIP-OFF AND A CHEATER! I CAN RESPECT WORMTAIL FOR AT LEAST HIDING IT WELL…BUT SKATOONYFAN IS TERRIBLE! I CAN FORGIVE PLASIMUS AS BUZZ LIGHTYEAR! I CAN FORGIVE THE UNORIGINALITY…LOOK AT THE DATES!"

_Updated: 08-17-10 - Published: 08-16-10_

"IF I'M CORRECT, MOST PEOPLE TAKE A WHILE TRYING TO UPDATE…unless they finish it automatically…BUT LOOK AT WORMTAIL AND JUSSONIC!"

Wormtail: _Updated: __12-22-07 - Published: 10-24-07_

JusSonic: _Updated: 07-03-07 - Published: 06-17-07_

"A whole month for JusSonic! A WHOLE MONTH! NO WONDER CARDSSHARKS MADE THAT STUPID REVIEW!"

Cardssharks: _Thank you for making a parody to this really bad movie._

"It's THAT BAD!" Dimentio then realized something, "I've been mocking JusSonic's fic the whole time…" He looked sad, "Well…I'm sorry…"

Kits looked at Dimentio, "Dimentio?"

"I…I…I can't believe it…SkatoonyFan, if you're reading this, you brought my review and THIS chapter upon yourself." Dimentio looked angry, his rage was true and real, "I'm saying this from the bottom of my heart." He looked a bit angry, "If it wasn't for Wormtail, I'd never had read Future Shock, a great Spongebob fic…so I can forgive him. But you…your review and THIS FIC…it's bad…"

Kits looked at bit sad, "I gotta go somewhere."

Dimentio nodded, "Okay…" He then looked to the camera, "SkatoonyFan, I…don't know what to say to you…except this…you are now ahead of Masami Hata…your name doesn't make me go into a goofy rage, it just makes me mad." He got up and left the room, but he looked back to the camera, "You're not an author. You are stupid. You use swear words in a K+ fic! SWEAR WORDS! THAT'S NOT ADULT! THAT'S CHILDISH! I MEAN IF ONE USES A SWEAR WORD WHEN THEY'RE REALLY ANGRY IT MAKES SENSE! BUT USING IT OUTTA THE BLUE! THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! Wanna know something else, when I saw your review, I was appalled. You…you're a jerk! I pray become more polite." He closed his eyes, "I'm gonna give you the 'highlights' of this fic."

* * *

_"Well, can you blame them?" Sam asked, smiling. "I mean, look at him. he's got more gadgets on him than Inspector Gadget."_

Ha, ha…funny.

_"Alright, then! I will! Everyone stand back!" Vlad said. He then turned to Little Miss Daredevil and Little Miss Calamity. "You wanna come too?"_

_"You bet!" said Miss Daredevil._

_"Let's not and say we did!" protested Miss Calamity._

_Miss Daredevil and Miss Calamity clambered on Vlad's wings._

_The toys moved so Vlad and the 2 Little Misses could go to the edge of the bed nearby, climbing up the bedpost. Flint grinned evilly. He figured Vlad will fail his flying and end up being damaged on the floor. Ooh boy, he was going to be happy when Tasha found her new toy ruined. Only Jet, Knuckles, Kevin and Storm felt the same way, while his other friends and family looked concerned._

_Looking down at the toys below waiting anxiously, Vlad spread his arms out in the air and closed his eyes. Then he said these words, "It's Ghost Fightin' Time!" And Miss Calamity said, "What a Calamity!" And Miss Daredevil said, "OK, let's boogie!"_

_With that, Vlad and the 2 Little Misses jumped off the bed and went straight down. Flint figure that was it...until he looked alarmed as he heared a bouncing noise. Sure enough, Vlad and the 2 Little Misses had bounced right up. The ghost man and the Little Misses hit the ball that was on the floor nearby._

_Next, Vlad and the 2 Little Misses landed on a small car and sped down the track through the loop. Vlad ended up flying right off the ramp. As everyone watched, Vlad and the 2 Little Misses unknowingly got stuck to a plane mobile hanging from the ceiling._

_Unaware that they got stuck, their impact got the plane's motor running resulting in both it and Vlad and the 2 Little Misses to fly around the room, whilst Miss Calamity screamed and Miss DAredevil whooped in joy. The toys looked amazed as they watched. Flint, Sam and his parents on the other hand, look on in disbelief. They were the only ones who knew what was happening. As for his friends, they watch in amazement, along with all the new toys._

_Soon a centrifugal force had Vlad and the 2 Little Misses removed from the plane and sent them flying to the bed. And as if to add insult to injury, they landed right in front of a still disbelief Flint Lockwood._

At least we have SOME originality! Not enough though.

_Later, Vlad was scratching Major Monogram on a sensitive spot under his chin while his legs wiggled, annoying Flint, who was being hit by the tail. He glared as he shoved the legs down to the floor, making Major Monogram's top half fall down as well._

*Blinks* Just goes to show you…SkatoonyFan is lazy…and disturbing too.

_"Oh, this is the perfect time to panic! I am stuck in the middle of nowhere, Tasha is gone. She and her family are about to move away from their house in two days, and thanks to you, I won't be able to go with her! It's all your fault, you stupid __**(bad word)**__-headed jerk!"_

*Mouth agape* WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU! THIS IS K+! I'M SERIOUSLY THINKING THAT YOU ARE 10 YEARS OLD TOO! BECAUSE ONLY 10 YEAR OLDS, and VERY angry people, USE CUSS WORDS!

_"Jr! Hey, Jr, Candace," Roy yelled, obviously calling someone. The two toys saw a 2 people coming in. the girl had orange hair and wore a red shirt, a white dress, red socks and white Mary Jane SHoes. Her name was Candace FLynn, Roy's big sister. Next 2 her was a young male Koopaling. He had black beady eyes, a small turf red hair tied up into a ponytail, a blue bandana around his neck, and black wristbands. He was also a young look-a-like of Bowser Koopa, the King Koopa. He was Bowser Koopa Junior, Roy's little brother. Unlike Roy, they were more nicer and much more smarter and much more good looking than him, but were never able to stop their big and little brother from destroying their toys. In Candace's arm was a Phineas doll. Bowser Jr held a Jenny doll._

Bowser Jr. is a Koopaling…he's the one in charge of the Koopalings! HE'S JUST AS BAD! But he's more popular… Candance…well…she's okay…but I DON'T want to know how THIS happened!

_Flint gulped. He had heard stories of Bowser Junior's room, a place where he performed his wicked experiments on toys. He and the other toys had not been in here before, of course, and they were too afraid to even take a look. They tried to avoid being seen by Roy whenever he came to the window. Then again, he barely checked out the neighbors so they were either relieved or concerned. But what was more scary was that every so often, they could see something lurking near Roy's bedroom window. Something...un-toy._

I'm sorry, I thought that Bowser Jr. is nicer… Oh, wait you're just copy and pasting

_Mr Rude: I'll give you assassinated! [farts]_

_Mr Men/Little Misses, Cosmo and Wanda: MR RUDE!_

Is that a running gag? Cause, that's not funny…it's stupid.

* * *

"That's not even ENOUGH to talk about! He made more and I'm not even laughing at them. This has been Maskwitness Reviews, where I NORMALLY check it out cause I feel like it, but today, this guy needs to be brought to justice…" Dimentio sighed and said, "And it's my birthday too. Best way to celebrate it! With a bad fanfiction!" He walked off and saw a surprise waiting for him when he left the review room.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIMENTIO713!" Everybody was there, besides Steel, Cooly, and Santa Bond, I mean they WERE kidnapped by an unknown assailant.

"Guys…" Dimentio looked in shock.

* * *

Mecha was watching it, "He's not insane…he's angry…no matter, I'll still try to kill him." He laughed, "Sadly, it's his birthday…I don't want to miss the day I killed him!" He laughed to the sky.

* * *

_**Final Verdict: **_

_**Pros:**_

_Tasha (surprisingly), Mr. Grumpy, and Chef Hatchet are the ONLY characters fit for the role_

_**Cons:**_

_A copy-and-paste work_

_The rest of the characters are really DUMB choices_

_Overall Rating: 0/10, do I REALLY have to say ANYTHING about this fic? I just said A LOT!_

**Yeah, sorry if I couldn't do A LOT of stuff, but hopefully, G.P.'s fic will find its way here soon! Also Dimentio713 gets the shock of his life! But Steel will just have a cameo...he's kidnapped remember?**


	11. Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva P1

Steel was walking around his review pad, "Okay let's see… I've got Ariel's Beginning finished…" Suddenly, a light enveloped him "Huh?" And he suddenly disappeared.

* * *

Dimentio sat down, "Three…two…one…" Then Steel appeared right in front of him!

"WHAT! WHERE AM I?" Steel exclaimed, he looked around his surroundings and was hit by a blunt object, "Ow…"

* * *

Steel woke up and was tied in a chair, inside Dimentio's review room… "What? Where am I?"

"Heh, sorry Steel… Akira here thought it would be funny to tie you up in a chair…and Fawful teleported you here!"

Steel blinked, "And you did all of this…why?"

Dimentio sighed, "Revenge for missing my birthday! THAT'S WHAT!"

Steel looked shocked, "HEY! I WAS KIDNAPPED BY ROOKSANO!"

Dimentio got creepily close to him and then backed away, "That's doesn't count as an excuse… So today, you will do a crossover…WITH ME!"

Steel sighed, "Oh boy…"

* * *

_**I don't care what your thinking as you turn to me**_

_**'Cause what I have in my two hands is enough to set me free (set me free)**_

_**I can fight the feelin' to resist it over time**_

_**But when it's just too much to take you sneak up from behind**_

_**Is it me? You say, you're looking for?**_

_**Let me show you who I am and what I'm here for… here for**_

_**Make-believes reborn, **_

_**Myths in mind rethought**_

_**Question all that's known, **_

_**Legends blurred and torn…**_

* * *

"Hey! The tunes in our theme songs DON'T mix!" Steel exclaimed.

"Listen! I was trying to think on how we should do this crossover, dang it!" Dimentio shouted, "…And where's the title card?" His eyebrow rose along with Steel's.

* * *

_Dimentio and Steel were dressed up as Layton and Luke, respectively. They were watching SaireNaoriva…singing…_

**Maskwitness Reviews: Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva Part 1 (co-starring Tohokari-Steel)**

* * *

"First off, a little history about Professor Layton is in order…" Dimentio stated, "You see, Professor Layton is a video game."

"OH COME ON! A MOVIE BASED OFF A VIDEO GAME! GREAT!" Steel exclaimed, "Yes, a movie based off a VERY confusing video game! Yay!"

Dimentio shrugged, "Well…Professor Layton IS basically a movie if you added unnecessary puzzles to one. Anyways, the first game, Professor Layton and the Curious Village came out early 2007 in Japan and one year after that in America… It's like one would call a 'Logic Opera,' a term coined by Penny Arcade, it is described as a beautiful game, where things are _happening _and since the last statement was italicized, that means that it's REALLY good… However, you meet people who breaks into puzzles much like the fat ladies in the opera sing randomly…and out of nowhere…"

Steel looked at Dimentio, "So half of the time, the puzzles are Big Lipped Alligator Moments?"

**A BIG LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT!**

"Pretty much and the movie is able make it the same way, now then, let's delve right into, 'Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva.'" Dimentio exclaimed, "Now note: This movie was dubbed by the English voice actors…from England."

Steel looked at Dimentio, "So we should expect English accents?"

Dimentio grinned, "Of course! But the only one who's voice has been changed, as far as I know, is Luke Triton, the rest I believe to be homegrown."

* * *

So we start with narration by one 'Luke Triton'

**Yes, the kid with a love of blue stuff…and always says this, 'Professah.' **

_Luke: It started, as a game._

**Just like the Super Mario Movie…and look how well THAT turned out! Along with the first Pokemon movie…but Pokemon 2000 wasn't THAT bad.**

_(Videos of Professor Layton and the Curious Village, Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box, Professor Layton and the Unwound Future, and finally, Professor Layton and the Specter's Flute {or if you want the localized version of the name, Professor Layton and the Last Specter})_

*Both blink*

**Wow, four games…**

And the Last Specter is a PREQUEL! And there HAS, which is called the Mask of Miracles, been one for the 3DS that came out in the Japan in March!

**Japan ALWAYS gets the cool stuff! I mean, what about us Americans?  
**

Well…wait…YOU'RE RIGHT! THEY GOT THESE!

(Ouendan 1 and 2, Ace Attorney Investigations 2: Miles Edgeworth, mochi ice cream)

**Wait…isn't mochi ice cream sold in America?**

In California…at least as far as I know…

**Can we get back to the review now?**

_Luke: Since then, Professor Layton has had MANY exciting adventures! Selling 7.3 million copies to fans all over the world._

*Both* ENOUGH WITH THE EXPOSITION ALREADY! WE GET IT! Professor Layton is one of the GREATEST, AWESOMEOUS, GAMES PEOPLE HAS EVERY PLAYED IN YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE! AND CONFUSING! AND HAS A CROSSOVER WITH PHOENIX WRIGHT!

***Blinks* A crossover? With Phoenix Wright?**

Back to the review, I'm gonna be going somewhere soon…

_Luke: Today, we look into the Professor's earliest, most intriguing, adventures with his apprentice #1, Luke, that's me by the way._

So an apprentice pretty much is a person who is going to be like him, but an assistant is a person who helps somebody.

**And that means something…how?  
**

You'll find out.

_Luke: As Professor Layton makes the leap from game…to movie._

* * *

"So we FINALLY begin our movie with Layton…who is apparently is with Luke doing something…" Dimentio stated as he looked at Steel.

"I guess it's my turn… Well, Layton apparently is with Luke…in the middle of a mystery…" Steel explained, "But what's the mystery?"

The two looked at each other and both exclaimed, "LAYTON TIME!"

* * *

_Layton: Our villain escaped through this room._

_Luke: But there's no way out of here!  
_

**Can't you go back the way you guys came?  
**

*Slaps Steel* Steel! This is Layton! Figuring out mysteries is his JOB!

***Rubs cheek* But what exactly is the answer to this mystery?  
**

_(Shows a sun, star, and moon on the floor)_

_Layton: Just remember, this case began with the impossible._

(Mia: And when you eliminate the impossible, only one truth remains)

_Layton: That letter threatened that the bell would be silenced, but it wasn't the bell that vanished._

**GET ON WITH IT! **

*Summons Purity Sword* It's a mystery! We have to solve it!

***Gets his katana out* But there's no clues!**

*Grins* Look closely, there are a sun, a star, and a moon… There's something inside them… Now look at the door, there's three hooks… The good professor will explain more in detail.

_Layton: It was its sound. The clue to this room was written (blows away some dust at a sun piece) at the tower entrance: When the stars and planets align, you will see your way._

**But that only happens every million years or something!**

What did Layton do? He picked up a sun piece, right?

**But isn't the sun a type of star? And the moon's…a MOON! **

…YOU'RE RIGHT! LAYTON! THERE'S NO PLANETS HERE! THERE'S ONLY TWO STARS AND A MOON! *grumbles* Dang it… Whoever made that sign…they're dumb…

_Luke: But what's the answer Professor?_

_Layton: Now listen, a true gentleman must always be patient._

_Luke: Uh-huh._

* * *

Steel looked at Dimentio who was now wearing a Layton costume, "What the-?"

"Steel, a true gentleman must always be patient…and soon you'll see what happens when you become one." Dimentio said.

Steel blinked, "Okay, you're officially weird…and I kill watermelons for FUN!"

Dimentio tipped his hat down, "Yes, a true gentleman always uses his wits in order to know this… Not his weapons…but they may use weapons, preferably, a rapier.

Steel blinked, "BUT YOU USE A MEDIEVAL-LIKE SWORD!" He exclaimed.

Dimentio looked at Steel, "Yes, but a true gentleman always gets the ladies…and knows his weapons…and builds extremely cool items."

Steel looked at Dimentio, "Okay, it's official; you have WAY too much personality problems…"

* * *

_Layton: People have long watched the planets and stars move together._

*Both* They were extremely BORED out of their wits.

**That's why they made connect-the-dots with the sky! **

_Luke: So Professor, the answer's in the stars?  
_

_Layton: Yes, in a matter of speaking._

* * *

"So then…music starts playing as the moon, the star, and the sun start moving… I GET IT NOW!" Steel exclaimed, "So when the floor is like the door, as in they align… They door opens!"

"Correct Steel!" Dimentio exclaimed.

"I'm not like BKFood you know… He'll probably act like an idiot… The answer kinda made sense when one thinks about it…" Steel said thoughtfully.

Dimentio nodded, "Yes, soon, more puzzles will be coming toward us… After all, this IS Professor Layton."

The two looked at each other and nodded, "Let's solve the puzzles!" They both exclaimed.

Steel then looked at the camera, "Anyhow, Layton's theme starts playing and it feels very… Um… Englishy-like thing…"

Dimentio shrugged, "Best definition I could come up with too…"

* * *

_Luke: (runs toward the exit and looks over the city) Whoa, but this is…_

_Layton: (simply tips his hat)_

A true gentleman always has a hat and thinks about his next step.

_(The screen pans out to reveal Big Ben and London in general)_

_Luke: And so it was,_

*both* MORE EXPOSITION! GET TO THE PLOT ALREADY!

_Luke: Professor Layton had solved another mystery, one that had puzzled ALL of England._

**Wow… Considering there's puzzle-loving robots, a train full of people who love to solve puzzles, and a giant community underground full of scientists who are trying to create a time machine… Layton must be England's Chuck Norris if he liked to solve puzzles…**

(PROFESSOR LAYTON! …Meep!)

_Layton: The only one who could've silenced that bell…is YOU! (Points at an old lady)_

**An old lady? Why would an old lady…**

_Don Paolo: Layton, you'll pay for this!_

***blinks* Never mind…**

Don Paolo is a master of disguise you know… He disguised himself as Layton's daughter…

**D…d…d…DAUGHTER!  
**

Adopted, like Trucy from Apollo Justice… I just realized another similarity between the two.

_Don Paolo: (Runs off with an umbrella)_

_Luke: Don Paolo!  
_

_Don Paolo: (Jumps off the London Bridge and the umbrella…turns into a propeller…and laughs)_

*both blink* Okay...

* * *

"So everybody starts to chase Don Paolo…besides Flora, Layton's daughter, and we see this." Steel said, he looked under the desk, "Where's the button?"

Dimentio smiled as he snapped his fingers and a picture showed up.

(London Times: Prof. Layton magically cleared "mystery" fog of London.)

Steel blinked, "Magic?"

Dimentio grinned, "Simply dimensional magic, a simple one at that… Just see a picture in my mind and then the dimensions of various particles become similar to that."

Steel blinked, "Okay…but you didn't have to explain it, you know…"

(Linkara: It's magic, I don't have to explain it.)

* * *

_Layton: But the professor is not just a brilliant puzzle-solver, but an eminent archeologist._

*gets out paper and taps it* Eminent- high in station, rank, or repute; distinguished

**And you said that because…**

DON'T JUDGE ME!

_Luke: Archeologist, puzzle-solver, and true gentleman. I'm Luke, his apprentice._

We know that already, don't remind us…

_Luke: I handle the Professor's letter requesting him to solve puzzles._

And say that the end of the world is going to happen!

**What?**

The Last Specter, I research things during my reviews.

* * *

"So after a LOT of exposition, we find out that Luke can talk to animals…" Dimentio stated.

"Wait…he's like Dr. Dolittle?" Steel asked the young boy.

He nodded, "Correct…somewhat… But we also makes tea and tidy up…because…"

(Abridged Jaden: You're a lazy sucker, he does all the work he do)

Steel looked at Dimentio, "Actually, it's because he's too busy drinking tea and solving puzzles…"

Dimentio then continued, "Anyways, they talk about stuff and it's revealed that Luke wants to be just like Layton… A true gentleman."

(Luke: The one who holds the key to this mystery…is you! {points in front of him} Is you! {points at the wall} Is YOU! {Points at something random and then thinks for a bit before pointing in front of him and Layton comes into the room} YOU! {Notices Layton and is looking embarrassed.} Is you who is tidying up next.)

(Announcer from SSBB: Failure)

"So Layton reveals a song to bring back some nostalgic memories, like during a case that happened nearly three years ago and that there was a complicated mystery that according to Luke, would take all their wits to solve…and this is where the movie…FINALLY starts." Dimentio said.

Steel looked at Dimentio, "You mean…that was merely exposition!"

"Meh, it's for people who've never played that games before though…" Dimentio shrugged as the movie finally starts up.

* * *

_Janice: (sings) _(**A/N: **The whole song is in Japanese…and to be honest, it'd be tough to make one like this…)

_Layton: Luke, that instrument is Oswald Whistler's new Detragan. _

**Detragan? Man…we must be getting pretty stupid with names…**

_Layton: They say it allows musicians to play music as rich as a whole orchestra._

Suddenly, I think I should still stay in band…

_Layton: And I must say, it is very beautiful._

_Luke: Not as beautiful as Janice's voice, Professor._

* * *

"So it turns out that Janice is apparently in a middle of a foul riddle… What is this foul riddle? We find out… WITH A FLASHBACK!" Dimentio exclaimed.

Steel looked at Dimentio, "Okay… Roll the tape please…"

(Janice: Dear Professor, I need your help. Something astonishing has happened recently and I don't know who else to turn to. Melina Whistler, a friend who died last year…came to speak with me, in the body of a 7-year old girl. {She has a look of "surprise" on her face.})

"DULL SURPRISE!" The two of them said.

(Janice: I know it sounds impossible, but the girl knows things only Melina and I could know.)

"Or the girl could be a creepy stalker…" Steel pointed out.

"Yeah, they do weird stuff…" Dimentio blinked, "I'd like to know about the things only they know though…"

Steel looked at Dimentio in shock, "But that's breach of privacy!"

Dimentio shrugged, "So? They're in England… There's no need to get worked up."

(Janice: When I ask how this is possible, she only told me.

"Melina": I have been giving the gift of eternal life, Janice.)

The two blinked, "Well that sucks." Dimentio stated, "After all, what happens when all your friends die? Isn't that something to think about? That's why immortality SUCKS! At least until Jesus comes back, after that… IT'LL BE AWESOME!"

Steel looked at Dimentio, "Well, there are a lot of things that's good with eternal life…"

Dimentio looked at Steel, "Like what?"

"Um…" Steel pondered for a bit, "Yeah, I can't think of any right now…"

Dimentio groaned, "Figures…"

Steel then pointed out, "And then we get yet ANOTHER flashback! And what is this flashback you may ask? See for yourself!"

* * *

_Luke: Professor, do you believe this girl could really have eternal life?  
_

Well, in heaven.

_Layton: I don't know Luke, but the key to all of this could be at the theater that we've been invited too._

**Warning: This scene could include a character that certain people don't know unless they've been looking online… Where did she come from? The same place where Kay Faraday came from… NOBODY KNOWS!**

_Emmy: Then let's hurry!_

* * *

"Please welcome… Ms. Emmy Altava! The Professor's first assistant…and the winner of the Kay Faraday award! They were never mentioned in the other games for some reason! Possibly, in the Last Specter, we'll see where Emmy came from…but right now, she came out of nowhere!" Dimentio exclaimed.

Steel looked at Dimentio, "Then why was this movie released in England?"

Dimentio grinned, "First off, this movie is located in England, and that's all I'm going to say! So we see Luke being tossed up and down in the Laytonmobile."

Steel looked at Dimentio, "Wait…the WHAT mobile?"

Dimentio grinned, "The Laytonmobile, don't you recognize the distinct top-hat shape it has?"

Steel blinked, "Okay…and Layton just keeps his cool, simply adjusting his hat... That guy is VERY serious…"

"So Luke adjusts his hat and we find out that Luke is simply a self-proclaimed 'apprentice #1,'" Dimentio stated, "Now seeing as how I only know about Layton from Wikipedia and the trailer for the crossover between Professor Layton and Phoenix Wright, and I hope it comes out in America or…"

(Manfred von Karma: I may have to kill someone myself!)

Steel blinked, "But weren't you accused of murder? That's kinda nerve-wracking… Don't you think?"

Dimentio shrugged, "Meh. Anyhow, we find out that in Emmy's words…"

(Emmy: Well, it appears that it's not only this girl who's talking about eternal life. London is full of rumors and stories, they say with enough money and the right connections, you can buy the gift of eternal life.)

"…" The two reviewers blinked, "Well, it's obvious those rumors are probably NOT true…" Steel said, "After all, when I went to London, I was immediately greeted by the characters from My Immortal!" He scratched his arm, "It got kinda annoying…"

Dimentio looked at Steel, "So if someone was 'goff,' they can be immortal?"

"And stupid." Steel pointed out.

* * *

_Layton: Eternal life. (looks at the program) The Eternal Kingdom _

_Luke: What's the Eternal Kingdom?  
_

It's probably a mythical place, after all… It's bound to be like that!

_Layton: It is the title of the opera Janice is starring in._

**And we are sure to hear songs with the same tune!  
**

_Emmy: It is the first opera that Oswald Whistler has written in…years._

And we can only hope to enjoy it.

* * *

"Suddenly, Luke uses…LOGIC!" Dimentio exclaimed, for some reason he was dressed like Konata…

Steel gasped in horror and shock, "Um…Dimentio…"

Dimentio looked at his clothes, "Dang it! One second…"

(Few minutes later)

Dimentio was now dressed up like Miles Edgeworth, "Now the truth will reveal itself!"

Steel blinked, "Anyways, it turns out that Oswald and Melina Whistler are…RELATED!"

The two groaned, "Wow… It's only… COMMON SENSE!" Steel said

"Now it's revealed that the opera is in loving memory of Melina…but didn't we see her…be reborn as a little girl?" Steel asked.

"And that's the beauty of Professor Layton, there's a lot of mysteries…and we have to answer those questions in the game in the form of point-and-click…and puzzles…" Dimentio stated.

"Then we find out that Layton mentor, Dr. Schrader, helped with the opera…by telling Whistler about the legend of Ambrosia." Steel stated.

* * *

_Layton: The opera is based of the legend of Ambrosia, the Eternal Kingdom. My old mentor, Dr. Schrader is an expert on Ambrosia._

And the Elysian Box…

* * *

Kits then appeared, "The Elysian Box is…"

Dimentio looked at Kits, "NO SPOILERS!"

Kits shrugged, "Okay, I'll just go back to my normal life."

Dimentio groaned, "Anyhow…"

* * *

_Layton: But the only proof he's ever found is part of Ambrosia's seal._

**And that seal looks like…**

_Layton: The kingdom such a mystery, no one knows where it was_

And that's why NO ONE SHOULD RISK THEIR LIFES LOOKING FOR SOMETHING THAT MIGHT NOT EXIST!

_Luke: The Eternal Kingdom, Ambrosia._

* * *

"The field of archeology isn't that great, isn't it?" Steel asked Dimentio.

"That's why I want to become of defense attorney!" Dimentio exclaimed, "And now we see the legend, word for word."

(Layton: It is said that the kingdom was ruled by a beautiful queen, who loved music above all else. {The opera starts up with Janice singing} The people of the kingdom adored the queen, but one day, she fell terribly ill. {Janice falls down, as if struck with a terrible disease} Her people tried everything to save her, but they did not succeed. The queen died just as a remedy was discovered, the Elixir of Eternal Life, the people mourned for the queen they had failed to save. They decided to drink the Elixir of Eternal Life; they would live forever and wait for their queen to be returned. There are those who believe Ambrosia still exists, hidden somewhere for their queen waiting to return, but no one knows the truth and the kingdom has never been found.)

"Who bets that the Elixir was actually mercury!" Dimentio exclaimed.

"Me." Steel said.

"Me." Dimentia came into the room.

"Me." Fawful said through the intercom.

"Me." Akira said whilst sucking on her lollipop.

"Me." Saire stated as she walked through the room

"Me." Jerry said as he came into the room.

"DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE! I BET THAT THEY LIVED FOREVER!" Cooly exclaimed.

"Me." Steve said.

"I have a feeling." DAL simply said.

Steel blinked, "How did you guys get in here?"

They all shrugged, "Don't know." And they all left.

"Okay…" Steel said, "Anyways, the opera ends…and everybody is apparently…BORED!"

Dimentio grinned, "There's another reason they're all here…"

"What? That there's actually a plan to win eternal life?" Steel asked.

"Just watch."

* * *

_Masked dude: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my theater: The Crown Petome. You are truly fortunate._

'kay, we'll see the game you're planning to play… MASK*DEMASQUE V (Fan nickname for now)!

**What?**

Only Ace Attorney Fans know.

_Mask*DeMasque V: For tonight, you will witness a miracle!_

_(People start clapping)_

I'm guessing you will turn water into wine or something…

_Blue dress-clad woman: Finally, what I've been waiting for._

_Bearded man: I tell you that it's a miracle I stayed awake this long._

**So everybody's ignoring the main attraction for Mask*DeMasque V's plans? That's moronic! **

_Mask*DeMasque V: As was promised when you purchased my tickets. Tonight, one person from the audience gathered here will receive the gift of eternal life._

_Luke: The gift of eternal life!  
_

_Layton: It seems we're the only ones who didn't know about this._

_Mask*DeMasque V: But there is one condition._

_Captain Dude: What condition?_

_Mask*DeMasque V: All of you gathered here will play a little game._

**Is it Call of Duty? Or Mario Kart?**

I wouldn't mind playing Mario Party…or Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney…

_Mask*DeMasque V: The rules are simple, the prize for the lucky winner, eternal life. But those of you who lose, will lose your life!_

* * *

Steel meekly stated, "I think Ganon from the CDi games said it best…"

(CDi Ganon: Or else you will DIE!)

Dimentio shrugged, "So yeah, some people think that…"

(Persian: This is madness!)

"But others think that it is a plan to live forever…at the cost of many people… Including their loved ones… Gosh I hate those people…" Dimentio said.

* * *

**Runaway Gag**

Dimentio had a balloon and watched the scene, "So daddy, are we going to do this?"

Steel nodded, "Heck yeah! Screw you son! You're going to die!"

Saire looked at Steel in shock, "What?"

* * *

Dimentio shook his head, "This man is pure evil…"

"So now we get a scene from this guy… Apparently, he's from the Scotland Yard and this is what he says." Steel played the clip

(Grotsky: Fear not! I am Inspector Grotsky of the Yard! My finely honed investigation showed something suspicious would happen in this theater tonight! And I am here to put a stop to it! Ladies and gentlemen! No one will lose their lives! I, Inspector Grotsky of the Yard, have arrested this diabolical criminal!)

"Yeah! The police put a stop to his schemes! Now to live our lives!" Steel exclaimed, he then noticed Dimentio's face, "What is it?"

"Let Layton explain." Dimentio simply said.

* * *

_Layton: Are you quite sure of that, Inspector? _

_Grotsky: I say Layton! Is that you?_

_Layton: At your service._

_Grotsky: Who's your little friend?_

_Luke: Luke Triton,_

* * *

"And now…this happens…" Dimentio stated.

(Mask*DeMasque V twists and turns and becomes a balloon and the Inspector flies away with it.

Layton: Inspector.)

Dimentio laughed, "Okay, seriously, I can't take Layton seriously when he's serious! It's just hilarious!"

Steel watched the scene, "So…how does THAT work?"

"Level 5 Logic."

Steel looked at Dimentio, "Okay…"

Suddenly, the ground started to shake, "What the!" Dimentio exclaimed.

Steel looked out the window, "Oh my goodness… Dimentio! Look!"

Dimentio ran to the window and saw sea, "What happened?"

Fawful ran inside the room, "It seems to me that somebody decided to tow our house with a ship!"

Dimentio blinked, "Fawful! Turn on the TV!"

Fawful turned on the TV and then a man hidden in shadows talked, "Hello, today, you'll be part of a game… A game determining who will win… Eternal life, I'm sure you watched a while ago as to the rules… Now then, good luck."

Steel blinked, "All this for missing your birthday?"

Dimentio sheepishly laughed, "Probably shouldn't have moved the house to a seaside location…"

Dimentia groaned, "Oh boy… We are screwed."

Dimentio and Steel walked back to the room, "Okay, I got a scene player, we should be able track as to where we should go to…"

* * *

_Layton: The theater… _

_Luke: Is really a huge ship!_

Oh boy…and I just HAD to pick a seaside location!

_Bearded man: What's happening?_

_Red-hair dude: Does he think he can trap us?_

_Captain: Huh, we're already at sea._

_Red-hair dude: (Runs toward the edge)_

_Blue-dress woman: What are you doing? Can you see a way out?_

_Red-hair dude: I know what I'm doing, I'm swimming back._

_Layton: I'm not sure that's all together wise…_

* * *

Dimentio groaned, "Sharks…in these waters? Oh boy…"

Steel looked at Dimentio, "Wait…I thought you live in California!"

Dimentio sighed, "The location was at England…"

Steel sighed, "The nine of us has to stick together so we can live…"

Dimentio nodded, "Let's go!"

_Yeah, I said that the first part will be posted today… So, I decided to have a mini-arc with the normal arc… Let's see what will happen now! _

_Next time: Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva (Part 2)_


	12. Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva P2

_Previously on Maskwitness Reviews…_

Dimentio while Dimentia was drinking tea started to run around in panic, "SEA! SEA! SEA!"

Dimentia looked at Dimentio, "Shut up, I'm trying to enjoy my tea…"

Dimentio kept running, "SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEA!"

* * *

Mecha was looking out a window, "…Do I even have an appearance in this arc?"

Iron looked at Mecha, "Seems that we only make a cameo…or at least, you."

Mecha groaned, "Darn it!"

Iron growled, "At least we'll be in Turnabout Summer…"

* * *

"WHAT! WHERE AM I?" Steel exclaimed, he looked around his surroundings and was hit by a blunt object, "Ow…"

* * *

Rooksano started to laugh, "Finally! I can create m&m's out of thin AIR! Mwhahahahahahahahaha!"

* * *

Akira pointed at the witness, "OBJECTION! This evidence clearly contradicts the witness's testimony!"

* * *

Everybody was in the living room, "Okay… I accidentally made a mistake in the previous chapter…" Dimentio said, "So, who are we throwing overboard?"

Everybody pointed at Cooly.

Dimentio shrugged, "Okay."

_And now the thrilling conclusion...will happen… I don't really know…_

* * *

_**I don't care what your thinking as you turn to me**_

_**'Cause what I have in my two hands is enough to set me free (set me free)**_

_**I can fight the feelin' to resist it over time**_

_**But when it's just too much to take you sneak up from behind**_

_**Is it me? You say, you're looking for?**_

_**Let me show you who I am and what I'm here for… here for**_

_**Make-believes reborn, **_

_**Myths in mind rethought**_

_**Question all that's known, **_

_**Legends blurred and torn…**_

* * *

_Dimentio, Dimentia, Fawful, Akira, DAL, BKFood, Kits, Tohokari-Steel, Steve the Hollow, SaireNaovria, and Jerry were looking at a puzzle that Professor Layton presented them._

**Maskwitness Reviews: Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva (co-starring Tohokari-Steel) Part 2**

* * *

Dimentio and Steel groaned, "It seems to me that since we're at sea…" Dimentio started, "And have to play a game for eternal life… We're screwed."

Steel looked at Dimentio, "Well, we're all in this together, I suppose…"

Dimentio shrugged, "Alright, anyways, last where we last left off, it turns out that there's a game for eternal life…and everybody's playing it! And if they lose, THEY DIE!"

"And there's been a huge amount of kidnappings recently." Steel added.

"How will this all turn out? Will we survive? I don't really know, but what I do know is that we gotta survive!" Dimentio exclaimed.

Steel sighed, "Anyways, we start off this part with this."

("Melina" seems to be singing)

"And now I'm confused. Anyways, we find out that 'Melina' wants to go 'home,' the question is… What is home?" Steel said.

* * *

_Grotsky: (comes up from the water and shakes off the water, thus making him dry)_

*Both* LV 5 Logic

_Grotsky: Not even out of breath!_

*Both blink*

**That guy…OUTSWAM SHARKS!  
**

_Grotsky: Hmph, nice try sharks!_

Seems like it.

* * *

Dimentio then said, "So Grotsky notices that someone is singing…and who would be singing except…"

"MELINA!" The two critics exclaimed.

"And then she disappears…" Steel said.

"OR DID SHE!" They both shouted.

"Actually, she's hiding behind a pillar, watching the inspector…for some odd reason…" Dimentio said, "Yeah, she's a stalker."

(Oswald: {brings up picture of Melina} Don't worry, just leave everything to me. I will play, for you who so loved music. {Notices a flame go out and gasps})

"Keep note everyone, this scene will be important later on." Steel said, "Anyhow, music starts playing and this scene happens…"

* * *

_Grotsky: (Notices the music)_

"_Melina": I have to go home! (Pushes Grotsky over the railing)_

…The police in Layton are just as bad as the ones in Phoenix Wright… The only ones that actually do any work with solving cases are the ones that come in the next series…

* * *

"So as the music's playing, apparently Grotsky…jumps the shark…" Steel said.

(BOOO!)

"Oh come on!" Steel exclaimed.

* * *

"And what happens to our chest-haired investigator? I don't know since we cut back to music playing!" Dimentio exclaimed.

_Red-hair dude: What are you doing? Some of us are fighting for our lives and you're playing music?_

**The man who said that music calms the rabid beast is saying LIES!**

Is that how the quote goes?

**Dunno**

_Blue-dress woman: We are sailing out to sea and there are…SHARKS all around us._

Now you care.

_Bearded-man: Mr. Whistler, you were the one behind this opera. Tell me, did you also plan this deadly game? _

Oh he planned a game alright…and you just lost the game!

…**That has got to be one of the worst things I've ever had the misfortune of saying… We're playing for our lives…and you make a bad joke…**

Meh, it's alright… After all, we just gotta stick together.

_Whistler: I was asked to compose an opera, that is all._

_Bearded-man: Hmph, so you say._

Yes, so you say…

**Yes…I bet…YOU STOLE THE LAST COOKIE!  
**

This…is about life you know…

**Oh, right…**

_Luke: (Groans) What should we do, Professor?_

*Both* PLAY THE GAME!

_Janice: Professor!_

_Layton: Janice._

Does Layton ever show emotion?

_Janice: I'm sorry, Professor… I never dreamed anything like this would happen. Really, I didn't._

**Well, we didn't think about us being in the sea, surrounded by sharks, constantly in fear that we'll die, and reviewing a movie! **

_Layton: Please, don't apologize, is it not the duty of every true gentleman (Janice gasps while Layton adjusts hat) to help every lady in need?_

**Why did she gasp when he adjusted his hat?**

_Janice: Oh you haven't changed at all._

_Layton: Where is the little girl from your letter?_

*Both* Pedo alert! Pedo alert! Pero alert!

_Janice: I haven't seen her since this morning. I asked Mr. Whistler, but while he said I should concentrate on my performance._

While what? While I asked him? While I took a shower? Movie, don't leave out any details….

_Mask*DeMasque V: Ladies and Gentlemen, now we are all passengers together on the Crown Petone, it's time for our little solving game, to begin._

* * *

Dimentio nodded as he got out a notebook, "Alright, first puzzle…"

(Puzzle 001: Look around you, ladies and gentlemen, look for the oldest thing you can see and gather by it)

Dimentio looked at Steel, "How old is Jerry?"

Steel shrugged, "I don't know…"

Jerry entered the room, "I'm as old as humanity itself…"

Dimentio blinked, "OPEN THE SUN ROOF!"

Fawful nodded as the sun roof opened up to reveal…the sun, "Our sun is…old…and to an extent was created before humanity, thus meaning, Jerry the **Shinigami**, is as old as HUMANITY! Putting that into logic, we can deduce that the sun, is the answer…and in essence, the sky."

Dimentio nodded, "Now let's look at the hapless fools!"

* * *

_Mask*DeMasque V: Sounds simple, but there is a catch. (A music box pops up and starts to play music) When the music stops, your time is up, if you want eternal life…then there's no time to waste. _

_Luke: The oldest thing we could see…_

It's the sky…

_Luke: Professor, let's look._

_Layton: Yes._

_Janice: I'll come too._

_Layton: Of course._

* * *

"So they look for the oldest thing they could see…and it turns out that there's a lot of old things…on the **ship**. Such as fossils, statues, and pictures…and we get a small gem on this." Dimentio said.

(Some guy: That's big fish.)

(Other guy: That's a fossil, you buffoon.)

(Matthew Brodick: That's a lotta fish)

"So like us, Layton figures out that the 'oldest thing you could see' is the sky…and there are only a few of the million of people left in the theater…" Steel explained, "You know, I wanna know if there was a dumb person on the ship who just STAYED in the theater and did absolutely nothing…"

* * *

**Cutaway Gag**

Steve sat down in the theater, "What the heck is the correct answer!"

"Congratulations, the oldest thing you can see are the stars in the sky." The man said.

Steve blinked, "Lucky me."

* * *

Anyways, we find out the fate of the people…

_Mask*DeMasque V: But for those of you who got it wrong._

(Ganon: YOU MUST DIE!)

_(The people who got it wrong, fall)_

* * *

"So yeah, murder!" Dimentio blinked as he walked off, "Something's wrong with the world."

(Mask*DeMasque V: Let us proceed with Puzzle #002. Now go where you could see the largest crown.)

Dimentio, whilst he was walking, thought for a moment, "Let's see… Steel, what's the ship's name?"

Steel pondered for a bit, "The Crown Petone…"

Dimentio grinned, "Now then, DAL, check to see if there's anything that's connecting us to the ship."

DAL nodded, "Alright." DAL flew up and noticed a chain, "Dimentio, there's a chain connecting us with the ship."

Dimentio nodded, "Got it." He then looked at Dimentia, "Dimentia, is there any way to destroy it using your 'hands?'"

Dimentia grinned as she took off her glove, "You got it," She slammed her hand onto the ground and some purple, clawed hands appeared and broke the chain, "Done and done." She stated, putting back her glove.

Dimentio grinned, "Alright! Akira! Get Jerry and Steve to paddle us!"

Akira yawned, "Whatever." She looked at Jerry and Steve, "Well, you heard the man! Do something!"

The Shinigami and the Hollow froze up, "Yes ma'am!" The two of them ran toward the side of the boat and decided to paddle with their hands.

Dimentio looked at Kits, "Get them a paddle and we'll be on our way!"

Kits nodded, "I'll help out too!"

They all looked at the ship…and it became clear that it was a crown! Dimentio grinned, "Alright, back to the movie."

* * *

_Amelia: The largest crown?_

_Captain: Huh, this is hardly a competition if he keeps gathering us all together._

**Don't worry, maybe you'll ALL get eternal life! **

_Blue dress-clad woman: Ugh, there are hundreds of crowns on display all over this silly little ship. There's no way we can compare all of them in the time we have._

Or you could THINK for a moment about the NAME of the ship!

_Dude: She is right, there is no time._

Unless you freeze time! That's how you do it!

_Thin Woman: Maybe all the crowns, are red herrings…_

ALL of them.

_Janice: Professor, can you find the answer?_

_Layton: I wonder…_

_Luke: Professor, I think you should just leave this one to me!_

Look out! We're in the hands of a young boy!

_Janice: Luke!_

_Luke: Don't worry, Janice, I'm the Professor's apprentice number one!_

**Or so you say.**

_Janice: (laughs lightly) That's quite an apprentice you have._

Well, he just hangs around him like an ape hangs from a tree…

**Wow… That's a BAD pun!**

Like you could think of one better!

_Luke: Biggest crown…_

* * *

"So the bearded man…deduces…that the…biggest…crown…is…in…the front, my boy." Steel said, "And eventually, it turns out that he's LYING!"

(Mr. Freeze: You lie!)

Dimentio looks at Steel, "No spasms?"

"Only for ice puns." Steel answered.

"It's time to kick some ice!" Dimentio exclaimed.

Steel blinked, "ICE PUNS!" He then fell over into spasms.

(Fifteen minutes later…)

Steel glared at Dimentio who just smiled, "Sorry, it was tempting…" Dimentio stated.

Steel sighed, "At least you're not ShadowDJ, my arch-nemesis…"

**Meanwhile…**

ShadowDJ, a.k.a. the Demon Critic looked around, "I feel…a disturbance…"

"So, as most of us know, the ship ITSELF is the largest crown and there's people putting the boats down and we get introduced to a couple of the finalists in this game." Steel said.

* * *

_Captain Curtis O'Donnell: Careful. (The archeologist goes back) I'll do it_

_Archeologist: You've done this before?_

_Curtis O'Donnell: I spent some time at sea as captain at a merchant ship. Don't ya know. Curtis O'Donnell's the name! Come, we should hurry._

**Wouldn't forming bonds be more difficult in the long run?**

_Janice: Mr. Whistler._

_Mr. Whistler: Janice. ("Melina" hides behind him) My adopted daughter, Melina. _

Coincidentally, she has the same name as your DEAD daughter!

_Bearded man: It appears you solved this puzzle too._

(N. Bison: NATURALLY!)

_Red haired man: Ugh, well, I hope everyone don't turn up._

Do most English people talk like this?

**I'll have to ask some of my friends…**

_Luke: (Runs toward Bearded man) But said the crown in the entrance was the right answer!_

_Bearded, greedy, self-centered, thank goodness he's going to die in 6 months man: The more fools who go the wrong way, the quicker I get my hands at eternal life._

I think his title sums up about what I think of him.

_Bearded, greedy, self-centered, thank goodness he's going to die in 6 months man: And would really wish you would stop giving out hints to everyone else. _

**Isn't he such as nice man!**

_Layton: Let's help. _

_Luke: What hints?_

The one about the crown? He was able to manipulate you and every dumb person in the ship! Except for Layton!

_Janice: Melina._

**If you haven't noticed, the characters enjoy saying one word sentences. Like. This.**

_Janice: Where did you disappear to?_

"_Melina": Why?_

I love English people. *Gets bonked on the head* Ow!

**That's racist…**

I'm just saying I like them.

_Janice: Oh!_

**She reminds me of Jane from Tarzan…**

"_Melina": Why did you bring a professor?_

How do you know he's a professor? He just has a top hat…

_Janice: Melina?_

"_Melina": He musn't win this game…_

Well, I lost The Game.

(BOOOOOOO!)

**Kid's Bop is right.**

Shut up Kid's Bop!

_Janice: Oh!_

"_Melina": Are you Melina's friend, or not?_

_Janice: …_

"_Melina": Please, let us have our wish!  
_

TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

_Janice: Our wish?_

**Yes, a wish that involves…SOMETHING!**

_(Layton looks at Janice and Melina)_

_Luke: But, where are we going?_

_Archeologist: We're going to where we could see the biggest crown, of course!_

It's amazing how much double meanings these puzzles have…

_Luke: But I can't see a crown any where!  
_

**But I do see a ship called CROWN Petone…**

_Layton: You'll see in a minute, Luke. _

_Amelia: But it was you who shouted out the ship's name, and yet you still don't get it._

Luke! The Future British…DUMMY!

_Layton: Excuse me, Miss…uh…_

That's her new name, Miss uh!

**…**

I fail at life…

_Amelia: Amelia._

_Layton: Amelia._

**Always the gentleman, aren't ya, Mr. Layton.**

_Layton: How did you come to be at the theater tonight? _

_Archeologist: Yes, a girl like you couldn't afford a ticket like that! It costs a small fortune!_

***Gasp* She's…A BANK ROBBER! **

I knew it!

_Mr. Whistler: Amelia didn't buy her ticket, she was invited. _

Or she was invited… Why? Why was she invited? Did she know that she'll potentially lose their life?

_Mr. Whistler: Sadly, I lost my daughter who loved music… I wanted to give a young girl a chance to hear my new opera in her place. Of course, she had to be talented as my daughter. I searched far and wide to find the right person, and I invited this special young girl. _

And you didn't choose your "adopted daughter…" Why?

_Mr. Whistler: She is very talented, you see. Amelia is a British chess champion._

So shouldn't she have enough money to get a ticket?

**That's a good point, I'd like to know how she was a British chess champion…and DIDN'T GET MONEY FOR IT!**

* * *

"And we see…the greedy douchebags in the other ship…besides the captain because he has no personality whatsoever." Steel explained, "And we see the blue dressed woman's want for eternal life…"

Dimentio smiled, "She wants to remain beautiful for all eternity… Steel, you do the honors."

Steel grinned, "Thank you." He got out a stick, "This! Is! My! Clue! Stick!" He kept hitting the camera at every word (A/N: I don't know if that's correct, but it definitely fits the mood.)

Dimentio smiled, "Thank you… Anyhow, this blue-dressed woman, obsessed with blue, wants eternal life to look young and healthy forever!" He blinked, "IT DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!"

Steel nodded, "YEAH! ETERNAL YOUTH IS ALWAYS BEING YOUNG! ETERNAL LIFE IS LIVING FOREVER! YOUNG DOES NOT EQUAL LIVING FOREVER! LOOK FOR THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH WILL YA?"

Dimentio grinned, "Well, she's a model… I think… So she SHOULDN'T know that!"

(No offense to models)

"And we also get introduced to a FAT woman!" Steel exclaimed, "Annie Drench…a mystery novelist and the blue woman is called Reidlee."

"But we're gonna call her blue woman because she is a MORON!" Dimentio exclaimed, "Is there any other morons onboard this ship?"

"The bearded man is Fedrick Burdland, and is apparently the President of the World Fleet Corporation…" Steel explained, "But like always, we're gonna call him bearded, greedy, self-centered, thank goodness he's going to die in 6 months man because…he's that."

"And we get another moron who wants eternal life for a STUPID reason! The red-haired man!" Dimentio exclaimed.

"Also known as, Pierre Starbuck, the man with the golden left leg who played football." Steel explained, "And in England, football is soccer to us."

Dimentio laughed, "When I first watched the movie, I thought that he was talking about OUR football…" He blinked before going close to the camera, "My high school football team SUCKS!"

Steel blinked, "And that means…"

"Absolutely nothing!" He exclaimed while nodding his head.

"And Starbuck wants eternal life to get his strength back!" Steel stated.

Dimentio grinned as he got out a hammer, "I'll break BOTH of your legs you moron! And put you in a wheelchair whilst I'm at it! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Dimentio started to laugh, "!" And then it became a VERY hammy laugh

Steel blinked, "What the?"

Dimentio looked at Steel, "What? A guy can't be hammy?"

Steel blinked, "Are you okay?"

"NO! I WILL NEVER BE OKAY YOU FOOL!" Dimentio exclaimed, while pointing at Steel.

Steel blinked in surprise, "I'm going away from you now…"

* * *

_Whistler: She's a bit shy._

_Layton: Mr. Whistler, is it true that this girl came back to life, reborn as Melina?_

He kidnapped her!

**What? **

Sorry, I felt like saying something random

_Whistler: Where did you hear that? (Looks at Janice)Nonsense, I adopted this girl, I only call her Melina as a sign of affection._

But you choose a…FORGET ABOUT IT!

_Janice: But, uh…_

_Whistler: Janice, it makes me happy that Melina was still with us, but she's gone. I had decided to carry on composing for her sake, when that man asked me to write an opera_

**Didn't Layton's mentor help out though?**

It's a conspiracy I tell you! A CONSPIRACY!

_Whistler: I agreed to do this, for Melina, to play for my daughter's memory, but I never expected this…_

* * *

"TAKE THAT!" Dimentio exclaimed as he got out a white Magatama, "Yup, five Psyche-Locks, he's hiding something…"

Steel looked at Dimentio, "What's that?"

"My Magatama, I got it when I went to the Kurain Village when I was young, I gotta say… The way the Black Shogun possesses your body is similar to the Kurain Channeling Technique… Anyhow, I got this and he's obviously LYING!"

"Okay, I'll just ignore what you just said…" Steel explained, "Anyhow, it's revealed that the **Crown** Petone…is the correct answer, and they had to go on the boats…"

Saire ran in the room, "Um…guys… We've got a situation…"

Steel looked at Saire, "What is it?"

"Oh, the ship is exploding." Saire simply said.

Dimentio sighed, "The ship's exploding? Okay.

Saire and Steel looked at Dimentio and then he blinked, "OH PINEAPPLE! THE SHIP'S EXPLODING!"

Dimentio ran out and saw the ship…explode, "Well…"

Saire looked at Dimentio, "It's a fantastic sight."

DAL blinked, "I sense a lot of body heat, one's going toward the land, and the other's going where we're going…"

Fawful blinked, "But the ship exploded! Everyone should be dead!"

Dimentio sighed, "I think this a bit more complicated than we thought…"

Steel looked around, "Oh well, back to the review."

Dimentio grinned, "ALRIGHT!"

Kits blinked, "How…apathetic…"

Dimentio and Steel went back in the review room to watch the movie, which was currently showing Emmy talking to a couple.

"So it turns out that the ship is the answer because of the **Crown **Petone." Dimentio explained and the movie continued.

"So we find out that the couple's daughter is missing and…we see a cat." Steel looked at Dimentio, "Any reference to the games?"

Dimentio shrugged, "Dunno, I'd check, but I'm not sure what I'll get… Though there was a scene that had someone called, 'Granny Riddleton,' but I'm not really sure yet."

Steel started to talk, "So our participants go nearby an island, and-"

"HOLY CRAP! LAND!" Saire exclaimed, from the other room.

Steel and Dimentio ran out and saw a small island with a BIG building in it.

"…" Dimentio closed his eyes, "It seems to me that, we won't be following the movie any more…" Dimentio stated, "Okay, first off, DAL, check for any signs of life nearby."

DAL nodded, "Alright, it'll take awhile, but I will."

Dimentia crossed her arms in frustration, "This is taking a while… I think this whole 'puzzle solving' thing is a trick."

Steel looked at Dimentia, "You think it's by Iron?"

DAL finished and looked at Dimentio, "I saw no signs of life, only signs of an electrical current." DAL looked far-off, "It's like mine if it was human-shape…"

Dimentio blinked, "I think we'll have enough time to finish the move right now, or at least close to it."

"So we find out that there's only ONE artifact that came from Ambrosia, and this artifact is simply stone by Emmy asking Dr. Schrader about it, and then she goes off to find the Professor…" Steel stated.

"But not before we find out that there's a news report about the Crown Petone's 'dead' passengers, but more importantly, that there are still people missing and if we have watched the movie this far, then you know where they are, and what happened to them." Dimentio explained.

"Wait, wait, wait… What's the point of this scene?" Steel said.

Dimentio grinned, "Well, I'm glad you asked!" He put on a top hat and grabbed a cane, "ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT'S…absolutely NOTHING!" Dimentio exclaimed as he reappeared back in his Konata's uniform, "Seriously, we just find out that the people are alive! What? Will this make ANY sense? I don't know my self, but I'm not interested."

"So they land at the island, which was strange coral formations coming out of the sea… Wait a second, does coral come out of the water?" Steel asked Dimentio, "...And why are you wearing that?"

"I don't think so, but I could be wrong." Dimentio answered with a shrug, "Also, it's a side effect... I'm still trying to perfect it so I look EXACTLY like Konata."

"Why?" Steel asked, clearly confused.

"I have my strange, messed-up reasons." He smiled a manic smile and then continued the movie.

* * *

_Bearded, greedy, self-centered, thank goodness he's going to die in 6 months man: Where are we now?_

_Captain: It appears totally deserted…_

Except for the FREAKING CASTLE! Wait… Forget I said that.

_Fat archeologist: Look there! (runs toward a stone)_

(Kaiba: Oh my god, a giant rock!)

_Fat archeologist: Is it? It is!_

(Ishizu: Yes Kaiba, it's a giant rock)

(Kaiba: It's a rock! And it's giant!)

_Marco Block: I'm sure of it! It is! Ambrosia! _

_Bearded, greedy, self-centered, thank goodness he's going to die in 6 months man: Ambrosia, you say? _

_Marco Block: Or at least, it was where it once was… I'm Marco Block, and I'm an amateur historian. _

**So…why are you telling us this? And if it's Ambrosia…**

_Marco Block: For years now, for years, I've been compiling this scrapbook of the eternal kingdom, Ambrosia._

* * *

Steel blinked, "Eternal? The island is 'deserted…'" He complained.

Dimentio grinned, "Maybe it's eternal in the sense that the story has been passed down through time…and the Elixir of Eternal Life." He noted.

* * *

_Starbuck: You've been collecting all of that?_

_Blue lady: Oh boy, a history geek._

Whoo! The ONLY line that's come from the blue lady that's makes sense! And it's kinda witty.

_Marco: This…is the famous Ambrosian seal!_

_Layton: It certainly looks like the seal… I saw it once at Dr. Schrader's house._

_Marco: I'm actually here! My dream has come true! _

He's wetting his pants in excitement!

(Chowder: Excitement!)

**Shut up Chowder.**

_Captain: Yes, if this is really Ambrosia, our dreams have been realized._

**Not if you DIE! Or something like that…**

_Captain: The Legend of Eternal Life._

* * *

"Okay, now THAT is an awesome line, it just says 'I'm so calm and collected, I say the MacGuffin…in monotone." Dimentio said, "But how about this one?"

(Blue Lady: {Gasps} What's that there!)

"The person voicing her was REALLY over-acting…and very high-pitched." Dimentio noted.

Steel intervened, "So we start to relax by the beach…with food…"

"AND GRAPE JUICE!" Dimentio exclaimed, shocking everyone around him, "What? I like grape juice, besides, it wouldn't be the first time wine became grape juice…" Dimentio noted, "Apollo Justice, anyone?"

(Luke: A reward for those left in the game)

"And you just lost it." Dimentio noted.

Steel sighed as he face-palmed the horrendously over-used joke and meme, "So anyways, Amelia…ruins the fun."

(Amelia: A reward, or a new puzzle, perhaps.)

(Everyone gasps while the bearded, greedy, self-centered, thank goodness he's going to die in 6 months man spills the grape juice/wine all over the table)

Dimentio and Steel looked around in silence.

(The bearded, greedy, self-centered, thank goodness he's going to die in 6 months man: I don't care, I'm going to eat.)

Dimentio shrugged, "Okay…but also wanna say one little detail… What is the mystery novelist doing? Is she drinking? Or kissing the cup?"

* * *

_Janice: This game, this island._

Will potentially kill us.

_Janice: Eating outside on the beach, watching the seashore with you, Professor. _

**As we will see later, this scene might become creepy later on…**

_Janice: It feels like a dream…_

_Layton: Yes, these are perfect surroundings, they even have puzzles and ruins for us to examine._

I think he's addicted to puzzles a bit TOO much.

_Janice: Puzzles and ruins? (laughs a bit) Of course, puzzles and ruins are more romantic to you._

* * *

The two critics blinked, "The mental images…" Dimentio finally said.

Steel then continued, "So we see Luke decide to sow some threads of friendship by using a conch and holding it by his ear…and it turns out that Melina starts to sing the Song of the Sea, or as we call it, a part in the Song of the MacGuffin, and it's revealed that the sea taught it to her…"

Dimentio grinned as he tapped a paper, "And then…WOLVES START TO CHASE OUR HEROES! And we get a classical version of the Jaws theme?" He said, confused.

Steel, also confused, says, "And Mask*DeMasque V says this…"

(Mask*DeMasque V: And you can be desert for the wolves!)

"And Luke acts like an IDIOT!" Dimentio stated, "So anyways, they run off and we see a river, but the before that the bearded, greedy, self-centered, thank goodness he's going to die in 6 months says this jerkish line…to a fat woman."

(You get the drill of how much I HATE this guy: Then stay here, there will be one LESS competitor.)

"Okay, first of all, is this movie trying to make ALL of the finalists in this game, besides the historian, captain, and Amelia…JERKS?" Steel complained, "I mean, why? Is there a reason why everyone in this movie is a jerk to the max level?"

Dimentio sighed, "Anyways, when they get to the river, they see castle and get thrown with a puzzle."

(Puzzle 003: Reach the castle)

"So in order to deal with the wolves that are chasing them, they use cages and Layton says THIS epic line." Dimentio stated

(Layton: {Thinks} I got it Luke.)

"And soon we shall see how smart the Professor is." Steel explained, "And they trap themselves into the cages?"

"Well, it's easier to get yourselves into a cage then to get moving inside a cage that is in the air." Dimentio explained, "It's ridiculous, but works."

Steel blinked, "Okay…"

Dimentio grinned, "So anyways, they have to stay in rhythm in order for the wolves to not get them, oh, and one of the unlikable characters is gone from this movie." He then got a hat and threw confetti all over the place, "Yay!"

"However, the few characters that are actually likeable, a.k.a. Layton, Janice, and Luke, get out of sync and the wolves start to chase them." Steel blinked, "Well, this movie will end quickly."

"**NOT SO FAST!**" Dimentio exclaimed, "I wouldn't jump to conclusions just yet Steel. But first, more information for being a true gentleman."

(Layton: Even a true gentleman needs to get some exercise.)

"Like everyone else," Steel agreed, "Anyhow, they get into a cabin…and Layton gets a chainsaw and, let's let the scene speak for itself."

* * *

_Layton: (Thinks: Fan + Chainsaw + Barrel + Oars + Bucket) Ha! I got it! (Gets chainsaw and some supplies)_

_Luke: Professor, how are we gonna reach that castle._

_Layton: I believe I found us a way to get there._

_Luke: Great! We can help!_

* * *

"So they start to build a contraption, and we get the strangest thing I've EVER seen!" Dimentio stated, "Besides the boat-plane in the Pokemon anime."

Steel blinked as the contraption reveals itself, "It's a…flying barrel with wheels and oars…" He shook his head for a bit, "Huh?"

"Layton." Dimentio simply stated, "And Luke calls it this."

(Luke: So Professor, we built ourselves a helicopter.)

"Though as Janice points out."

(Janice: This is like flying on a giant grasshopper!)

Dimentio blinked, "Alright…and we get a somewhat humorous."

(Layton: I'll try to land somewhere, hang on tight. {Everyone grips Layton} But not to the pilot!)

Dimentio grinned, "Ah, Layton." He then looked at his friends, "Guys, have we landed?"

DAL nodded, "Yes."

Dimentio closed his eyes, "Alright, let's get this show on the road."

Steel sighed, "Alright…"

* * *

**Meanwhile…**

A dark figure watched everybody get out of the house, "Now then…" He opened his eyes, blood-red and dark, "Let's start this game." He gripped a switch and pulled it.

Suddenly on another screen, a movie was playing, the title? Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva.

* * *

_To be continued in Part 3..._

**A/N: So yeah, this mini-arc is ending soon, anyhow, I'll be out over the weekend, but please don't panic, I promise you, I'll be okay and stuff... It's just band! Anyways, I'm planning for Part 3 to be the end of this mini-arc and it'll tie into the Mechamentio Arc. I'll give you the episodes after the Professor Layton Review:**

**Crash Course in Canon: Kingdom Hearts: I talk about canon in Kingdom Hearts and the MANY misinterpretations of the fans**

**Top 11 Dumbest Things in Ace Attorney: With Kits, we talk about the top 11 dumbest things that happen in Ace Attorney**

**Pokemon: The First Movie: I review the notorious first Pokemon movie...**

**Also, the first anniversary... I'll be looking back at a certain subject...**

**Well, see ya L-ater!**

**Dimentio713...OUT! **


	13. Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva P3

_Previously on Maskwitness Reviews… (By the way, listen to the Eternal Diva's Song as you read this, it fits REALLY well!)_

Dimentio and Steel groaned, "It seems to me that since we're at sea…" Dimentio started, "And have to play a game for eternal life… We're screwed."

* * *

_A revelation from a clone…_

Mecha looked at Iron, "Wait, you don't mean…"

Iron nodded, "Yes Mecha… You have a daughter!"

There was a short pause as Mecha screamed to the sky, "NO!"

* * *

_The realization of a boy…_

Dimentio looked at the screen at DAL's room, "What? This can't be!" He fell to the ground, "I have to warn Abe about…"

* * *

_The invasion starts…_

Madness Abe looked outside his place, "Insanus… What is that thing?"

Insanus blinked, "No way!"

* * *

_Who bore Mecha's baby?_

Mecha growled at Iron, "WHO'S THE MOTHER!"

Iron looked at Mecha with pity, "You know who…"

Mecha gasped in horror, "But…it can't be!"

* * *

_Does this EVEN matter though?_

Dimentio got into the flying car as he got out his cellphone and attempted to call Madness Abe, "ABE! ABE! WHERE ARE YOU! ABE!"

* * *

_I mean this didn't even HAPPEN! _

Steel looked at Saire…who had a plastic baby in her hands, "Whose baby is that?"

Saire blinked, "Dunno. Someone left it at my doorstep a couple months ago."

* * *

_It's a gag okay! A gag!_

Abe was trapped at Mecha's hideout, "What do you want from me?" Abe exclaimed.

Mecha glared at Abe, "Do you know…who THIS IS!" He showed a picture in front of Abe.

"No way." Abe simply stated.

Mecha nodded, "You know her…don't you!"

"It's-"

_Or is it?_

_And now the thrilling conclusion…_

* * *

_(For a change, it WON'T be the usual title song, What I'm Made Of)_

_**The glittering stars, they sing their song**__**  
**__**As they float**_ _**on the surface of the ocean blue**__**  
**__**And as they're shining bright, I'm standing here tonight**__**  
**__**I dream I'm cuddling close to you**_

___**In the new**_ _**light, the dew glistens**__**  
**__**Singing as the sunlight streams through the forest leaves**__**  
**__**While at the riverbed, a thought runs through my head:**__**  
**__**Will I dream of you as I sleep?**_

_(And this is the main song of the whole entire movie, so yeah… I don't really know who it's directed to, but it's catchy and these are the English lyrics, the song is performed in Japanese... Maybe it's about the characters in the movie, but NOTHING here is related to the mini-arc in this review.)_

* * *

_Dimentio closed his eyes as he lifted a sword against a masked man…playing piano as Saire was dangling from a rope and Steel was moving through some machinery_

**Maskwitness Reviews: Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva (co-starring Tohokari-Steel) Part 3**

Mechamentio sighed as he sat down at his chair and looked at the screen, "I need something to sustain my boredom…" He looked at the other screen which had Dimentio and Steel, "Might as well…"

**Meanwhile, with Steel and Dimentio…**

Dimentio looked around in the building, "Well, there's a TV screen, might as well pop the movie here…" He said.

Steel shrugged, "Alright."

"So a masked man clicks a button and tells everyone to get the courtyard, and then we get ANOTHER puzzle!" Dimentio exclaimed.

(Puzzle #004: 4 Doors, 4 Towers, Which Door to the King's Chamber)

"So one of the 4 towers contains the correct answer…and Luke takes care of this puzzle!" Steel exclaimed.

* * *

_Blue woman: H, I, K, G. Ugh, I have no idea. (notices Layton, Janice, and Luke thinking and grins) _

_Starbuck: Just a door…between us and eternal life._

*grins* Or is it?

_Marco: King tower…king…_

_Luke: I got it Professor!_

* * *

Steel sighed, "And for some reason, when we see his notebook…for some ODD reason, he has 'IMPISH' as one of them… How? Why? That…kinda makes not a lot of sense…"

Dimentio grinned, "I KNOW WHY!" Dimentio then pointed dramatically, "It's cause… Actually, I have no idea either, so why does it have 'IMPISH?'"

"So we find out they have to go into the door between the 'K' and the 'G.' So the Professor decides to explore for a bit and…" Steel and Dimentio started to look cheerful, "THE FINAL TWO DOUCHEBAGS ARE GONE FROM THE MOVIE FOREVER!" The two exclaimed excitedly.

* * *

_Layton: Luke, will you be alright by yourself for awhile?_

Well… He DOES have adult supervision from Janice, so it'll be okay.

_Layton: There's something I have to check._

_Luke: But, uh…_

_Layton: I don't think this game is about eternal life after all…_

"So the only LIKEABLE characters enter the CORRECT door and Layton and the miserable low-lifes go into the INCORRECT door, both for different reasons, Layton has a feeling it's not about eternal life, but the others… Well…" Steel looked at the scene unfold.

(Starbuck and the blue-clad woman fall through a pit)

(Layton: Just wait there, we'll come back for you)

Dimentio nodded, "Yes, Layton, let the dumbcakes fall to their untimely demise! …Or something…"

"OUR HERO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" Dimentio and Steel both exclaimed.

"Or, a true gentleman." Dimentio stated, "Instead of helping them out, he instead let's them fall! What a guy! What. A. Guy."

"So Luke, Janice, Amelia, and Marco Block all go into the room, and get trapped too, and find the TRUE villain of the whole movie, the man who planned this whole thing out... Some masked dude who likes to wear really stuffy clothes?" Steel stated confused, "Anyways, this guys name is-"

(Jean Descole: I am Jean Descole! A humble scientist and your host on this island)

"Fun fact, due to being released in Japan first, alongside the first game of the new trilogy, this man is VERY familiar, however, due to him being unknown outside of Japan, other than through internet, which they'll check AFTER the movie, this guy comes off as some random villain. However, he is VERY important to the new trilogy's plot, doing certain actions behind the scenes, all that's known of him is that he's trying to stop the professor's work, and since this a prequel, we can only assume that not only did this plan FAIL, it also did something that made this guy never appear again!" Dimentio stated, "So we can only guess who this guy is. Also, his letimoff is pretty cool sounding."

"So anyways, he, for some odd reason, want Amelia and Janice just tries to lightly push them away…" Suddenly, Steel felt a small force pushing him, "What was that?"

Dimentio grinned, "Me! I pushed you lightly!"

Steel blinked, "Why?"

Dimentio shrugged, "It's for a joke?" He then promptly faceplammed himself, "I'm a total dumbcake you know? So anyway, we switch scenes to the Inspector and Emmy…in a plane…and now we find out that the Inspector…is drying his underwear…" Dimentio sighed as he faceplammed, "And she doesn't care… Talk about creepy!"

(The Inspector's underwear get shown in the sky)

Steel and Dimentio blinked, "That…is kinda disturbing…" Steel finally stated.

Dimentio nodded, "Agreed."

"So anyhow, we find out that Melina lived in a castle…on an island… Yeah, tell me movie, WHY IS THERE NO POLICE THERE! Or better yet, absolutely NO SIGN OF ANY LAW ENFORCEMENT!" Dimentio exclaimed, "Please just tell me!"

* * *

_Layton: You're the person I wanted to see… Melina._

Wow, Layton does know who's behind him…

**Eh, he must have heard the footsteps.**

"_Melina": You…_

**Well, THAT is an amusing statement there! **

"_Melina" (continued): mustn't interfere!_

* * *

"So 'Melina' attempts to open the door and Layton just plays the piano…and we hear a small pleasing song and we find out that there are TWO people living inside 'Melina's' body… Oh hi Gollum!" Dimentio exclaimed.

"I am Melina! I am!" Steel said in a Gollum-esque voice, "No I'm not Melina! I'm NOT! So Layton being the resident smart guy realizes that something's very off-putting…and that…won't be revealed for awhile"

"Meanwhile, Janice and Luke run away from the guards, Marco Block gets his book taken away, and then Janice and Luke run into the guards…and so, Luke…runs HEAD FIRST INTO ONE OF GUARDS, and fails…and gets thrown into…Emmy's arms?" Dimentio asked.

Dimentia ran into the room, "Dimentio! THERE'S A LOT OF ROBOTS COMING!"

Dimentio blinked, "What!"

"Don't worry, your silly little heads, we'll make sure they won't harm you a bit! Ready team!" Dimentia cut off the transmission and got into a fighting pose, "You ready guys!"

Steve opened his mouth and a Cero blast came out, Fawful got out his laser gun and twirled it around, Akira got out a couple of cigarettes and started a throw some in different directions, letting them blow up, DAL blinked, but not before letting off steam with a couple of lasers coming out, Saire and Kits blinked and nodded to each other, ready to kick butt! Jerry on the other hand, went to sleep.

"Go team." Jerry said, not impressed.

BKFood and Cooly came in, "DUUUUUUUUUDE! YOU'RE FIGHTING ROBOTS! LET ME JOIN IN!" Cooly exclaimed.

"So um…where's the stuff…"

Dimentia groaned, "Let's just beat the living crud out of these robots." They all charged at the robots, ready to take them down.

Dimentio blinked, "Alright…"

* * *

_(Music starts playing)_

_Luke: Emmy?_

_Emmy: Sorry, I'm late. Second assistant. _

_Luke: Hmph. Apprentice #1._

_Grotsky: I am Inspector Grotsky of the Yard, and you are all under arrest._

* * *

"You know, this scene is pretty darn cool, I mean, along it being a cool fighting tune, it has a weird classical feel to it and…" Dimentio looked at Steel.

"What?" Steel asked, Dimentio pointed at the TV, "There's nothing…"

(Emmy kicked the guard in the crotch)

"Oh… Wow. Normally, that's a cheap shot, but to be fair, that scene IS epic!" Steel noted, "But sadly, all good things come to an end Emmy kicks the guard in the head."

Dimentio grinned, "THAT WAS EPIC! Despite it being short, it's pretty decent for a movie that's based on solving puzzles… Anyways, we find out that, of course, 'Melina' is actually a girl called 'Lina…'or 'Nina…'"

"So Whistler is apparently working with Descole and Amelia is apparently going to be granted 'eternal life' …from the Detragan… So in other words, eternal life DOESN'T exist and the whole thing was a scam." Steel noted.

"And wanna know something else, you know how I said that Amelia is one of the few likeable characters in this movie cause almost everybody else acts like a jerk…or plain old dumb, Luke can act dumb, Amelia wants eternal life…for her grandfather, who's…going…to die…in a month." Dimentio started to tear up, "And despite her being a minor character in the whole series, she didn't come to this island because she wanted eternal life, nor because she forced to, she'd rather her grandfather take it. However, it sadly doesn't exist… Also is it me or do all of the different people who fight different characters all have varying luck of success? I mean Amelia can't fight the guards, yet at the same time, Janice was able to push somebody, who was a guard, yet can pull them out. I mean, I get Emmy and all, but not those guys… Most of all, if I were in that situation, I'd use my head, protected by the helmet, to knock the person behind me and other stuff…"

Steel then took over, "Anyways, Emmy dropkicks onto a guard's head and Layton reveals it all!"

(Layton: Mr. Whistler, I have deduced, you never intended to give eternal life to the winner, on the contrary, you were intending to steal their life, take it away from them!)

"Smart guy…" Dimentio looked around, "Anyhow, we finally understand and Layton's theme playing in the background."

* * *

_Layton: I've finally discovered the truth, the awful truth behind this game._

_Luke: Um, what is it Professor?_

_Layton: One year ago, when Melina was dying, or rather BECAUSE she was dying, you put a vast sum of money into building this Detragan._

***chuckles* And you were impressed by it…**

_Layton: Assisting you, was the scientist Jean Descole. But the Detragan is no ordinary instrument, it is a machine that can copy a person's personality, their memory! All into another person's brain!_

So it's pretty much a messed up version of your average computer…transmitting itself to another .

_Luke: W-what!_

_Grotsky: A copy, all into another person._

_Layton: Unfortunately, the results weren't perfect, the person's real personality, their memories would force the copy back out of their mind, Lina here showed me that. Tell me again, that person who you were talking to before. _

_Nina: Un, it was Melina! But she's gone now. _

_Layton: You knew Nina's memories will return, that Melina would be lost without another host. You needed a subject with the brain that would accept Melina, that is why, you invited gifted young girls like Amelia and sure the game for eternal life was Descole's idea, so all you wished was to copy Melina memories to keep her alive forever. _

_Descole: Very impressive Layton. When did you realize I was involved?_

_Layton: I suspected it for awhile and my suspicions were confirmed when I saw this gloomy castle, then I knew it must be you orchestrating this plot, Descole!_

Talk about a very strange villain… I mean, even though he's interesting and all, he's kinda getting somewhat dull, y'know?

* * *

Dimentio then said, "So Whistler gets Luke and tries to implant the memories into him…but nothing happens… Instead, we find out somebody stole the key! And wanna know who holds the key…but more importantly, holds the key to this mystery? Why none other than-"

(Meanwhile)

Mecha closed his eyes, "Why do you wish to do this…" He looked at a familiar face, "Iron?"

Iron grinned, "Well, all I want to do is get you on HER side," he then got out a crossbow attached to a magnet, "or ELSE!"

Mecha looked at Iron, "And yet you approach me, you already got RookSano and Dooplis on your side, why me? You don't need me…" He closed his eyes.

"…You're right, I don't need you. I just want one thing, revenge." Iron exclaimed.

Mecha looked away from Iron, "I built this building because I wanted to test both Dimentio and Steel, and now YOU invade here! For what reason? I don't know why…"

Iron shrugged, "What, you have a better plan?"

Mecha started to tremble, "Yes…" He whispered to himself, "Steel, forgive me." He looked at Iron, "Leave, I'll meet up with you once I fight Dimentio."

Iron looked at Mecha, "Why not Steel?"

Mecha glared at Iron, "Steel is not my target, Dimentio is. First, I intend to test him." He walked off, "You heard me, LEAVE!"

Iron shrugged, "Alright. You better keep your promise!" He then left.

Mecha looked at where Iron left, "I will."

(Back at the review station)

"IT'S JANICE!" Dimentio exclaimed, he then grinned, a bit wickedly, "Or should I say, Melina!"

(Melina: You thought putting my memories into Janice had failed, but it hadn't. Janice allowed me to stay here, to my very GREAT surprise, she buried her personality voluntarily, so that I could act in her place. I'd been ill for so long, now I could walk, and dance and, sing!)

(Whistler: Than…I didn't need anyone else?)

"So it turns out that we've been going with Melina the whole time and Melina wants to apparently die…or at least, stop living in other people's bodies." Steel explained, "So this SHOULD end the whole movie right? Well, nope! It turns out Descole was scheming behind the scenes, and he wants Ambrosia!" Steel blinked, "Um…why?"

* * *

_Descole: The Legend of Ambrosia was famous, but it was I who discovered the complete seal, Layton, do you know what the lines around that symbol mean? _

_Layton: They're music!_

*Blinks* MUSIC! I LOVE MUSIC!

* * *

"So there's two keys, musical notations, and somebody's voice… Wait, can't you use anybody's voice? Just let them practice the song! Record her voice singing!" Steel exclaimed, "I mean, it would go by a LOT faster, you wouldn't need to spend millions of pounds on something so…SIMPLE!" Steel exclaimed.

"So Melina sings, Emmy practices animal abuse, and everything starts to fall apart…and Ambrosia strangely doesn't arise, instead…but Layton sees the Ambrosian seal, upside-down!" Dimentio exclaimed.

"That doesn't mean anything cause Descole's going…insane." Steel pointed out.

(Descole: {laughs madly}Well, if the door to Ambrosai won't open to this music…I WILL TEAR IT DOWN!)

"So the whole place is actually CG giant robot and it turns out our little helicopter will help us and it does so. However, Melina falls back and then we get a truly epic scene." Dimentio grinned as he got a bag of popcorn.

* * *

_Luke: Professor! I can save her! _

_Layton: It's too dangerous!_

_Luke: Professor! I have to do something! After all, I want to be a true gentleman!_

_Layton: (nods) Then I'm counting on you!_

* * *

"And so, the Future British Gentleman begins to start platforming!" Dimentio exclaimed.

Steel watched the scene, "So let me get this straight, he jumps from a helicopter, that is make-shift mind you, falls into a wire, and gets on top of a saw that starts to spin. After that, he dodges many things that could potentially KILL a normal human being! …That boy…he could grow up to be Mario! And more importantly, he's pretty awesome!"

"So Layton and Descole fight each other, pipe to sword, and Luke and Melina get up onto the mecha." Dimentio stated.

* * *

_Descole: Too slow…_

(Sonic: You're too slow!)

_Layton: You think so, Descole! The Ambrosian seal._

_Descole: What?_

_Layton: You only solved part of the puzzle._

_Descole: What are you talking about!_

_Layton: You've found the Songs of the Sea and the Stars, but Seal shows not two songs, but THREE, Descole. You cannot raise Ambrosia unless you look at the pattern another way! If you turn the seal upside down, another melody appears. _

_Descole: A song!_

_Layton: Yes, the final key is…the Song of the Sun! Without that song, Ambrosia will never appear, Descole!_

* * *

"So Layton starts to play the piano and we get, the Song of the Sea, the Stars, and the Sun…and a whole orchestra plays to… HOORAY FOR CONVIENCE!" Dimentio exclaimed, "But that's not it, some how a whole CITY pops out of nowhere to greet our protagonists and Descole falls off, no doubt PROBABLY dying, but most likely not… So our heroes escape from the machine blowing up and we see the city of Ambrosia… However, the movie isn't over yet…"

Dimentia entered the room, all bruised up and with cuts everywhere, "Guys…" She then fainted.

Dimentio ran toward Dimentia, "DIMENTIA!" He exclaimed, "Are you okay?"

Dimentia closed her eyes, "I…I'm fine, finish the review… Everybody else is okay too… Somebody's expecting you…"

Dimentio nodded, "Alright." He looked at Steel, "You heard her, we gotta finish the movie!"

* * *

_Melina: Father. _

_Oswalt: Don't ever scare me like that again. I love you so much!_

_Melina: Father…_

_Oswalt: Melina, let's go home! We'll play the piano together! We'll have so much time, we'll play everyday! _

_Melina: I'm sorry, dear father, I've only ever brought you grief and sadness, haven't I? _

_Oswalt: No! You're my only joy! And I couldn't save you!_

_Melina: It was fate, there was nothing you could ever do! _

_Oswalt: But…_

_Melina: Listen to me, you need to start a new life! _

_Oswalt: I don't want a new life!_

When you love someone, Mr. Whistler… You have to let them go.

_Melina: I cannot stay here…but even if I am gone dear father, I will still live on in your memory… (helps him stand up) Even if you don't see me, I will always be with you._

_Oswalt: Don't talk like that! Please! Melina!_

_Melina: Father, do you remember what you used to say when you left for a concert? No matter-  
_

_Oswalt: No matter how far I am from you, no matter where I go, you will always be in my heart. _

_Melina: Father, no matter how far I go, I will always be in your heart. Whenever you remember me, I will always be there._

_(Leaves Oswalt's hug)_

_Melina: I must go father, thank you, for loving me. I have to go._

* * *

"So we go into Janice's mind, spirit place and we get a really heart-wrenching scene…" Steel stated.

Dimentio looked at Steel, "Help Dimentia, I'll finish the review by myself."

Steel nodded, "Should I check if anybody else is okay?"

"I'll be okay," Dimentio assured him, "I'll finish this movie."

Steel left with Dimentia while Dimentio went back to the review, "Where were we, Janice wants Melina to stay in her body and Melina leaves her body to continue on…but not before saying farewell to Layton, Luke, and finally her father."

(Janice: Professor… Melina…has left us.)

(Luke: No, listen to me Janice, Melina hasn't gone!)

(Janice: Luke…)

(Luke: If you remember her, she will always be here! That is what she said to us, that is right, isn't it professor!)

(Layton: Yes)

(Janice: Remember her, for always.)

"And so, our movie ends with the Song of the Eternal Diva, and there's a suggestion that Melina may have been the Queen of Ambrosia reborn, but…the world may never know. So during the credits, we see pictures of Melina and her father, Janice, the building of the Detragan, Luke touching a crown, the people who have lost the game going on with their lives, highlights of the movie, Luke helping the wolves, Nina coming back to her parents, them being in the news, Mr. Whistler making prisoners cry, Amelia looking over the grave of her grandfather, Layton showing Dr. Schrader around, and the Inspector getting his underwear back."

(Baljeet: I'm running out of underwear!)

"And lastly a huge cast photo, and there's an epilogue and it's just them walking away with Janice." Dimentio closed his eyes, "This is a fun movie, unlike most video-game based movies, Level-5 was working with the movie director, but more importantly, it is a movie that can make you cry and giggle. It's certainly not the BEST movie, but you'll see those in the Final Verdict, well anyways…" He noticed the wall where the TV once stood was gone, "What's this?" He entered the door, it locking from behind him, he continued despite that.

As he was walking, Steel looked around, no doubt there was a fight here, Jerry even tried helping out.

"You guys alright!" Steel exclaimed, he looked at the Black Shogun's sword, "What happened?"

Saire grinned, "It's alright, we'll be fine!"

Akira got up, "Yeah, Dimentia blocked the attacks against us, but it took a lot of work."

"Oh… Hey where's Dimentio?" Steel looked around, "He said he'll finish, but it sounds like the movie ended already… So shouldn't he be here?"

* * *

Dimentio kept looking around, "Hello? Is anybody in here?" Suddenly he accosted by robots, "Woah!" He exclaimed, he proceed to summon his sword, "Alright, who sent you here! I know that Steel was also accosted by robots a while back! Are you working with them?"

Mecha walked in, "No. I will never work with her."

Dimentio looked at Mecha, "Who are you?"

Mecha grinned, "I am Mechamentio713, and you, my friend," Saying the last part with pure rage in his voice, "are Dimentio713, correct?"

Dimentio nodded, "Yeah, so?"

Mecha crossed his arms, "Here you know me as a different name, DAL 9000, wasn't it?"

Dimentio gasped, "Wait what do you mean!"

Mecha looked at Dimentio, "What I mean is…YOU DIE!" He summoned his sword, "You do not have any people to back you up and once I'm finished with you…"

Dimentio summoned his own sword, "You'll hurt my friends? Well, I won't let you!"

Mecha looked a little bit of surpise, "So, you haven't changed yet?" He grinned, "Then I must test you!"

Dimentio blinked, "Wait… First you want to kill me, now you want to test me? Okay pal, you have some issues!"

Mecha clamped his hand in a first, "Raise your sword, I wish to know, how strong are you really?"

The two charged at each other, the two blades clashing, gracefully Mecha dodged the attacks while Dimentio kept coming at full strength.

"Your attacks are very harsh." Mecha said while swinging his sword over Dimentio's head, only to be blocked, "But how harsh are mine? Well, that's a question you'll have to find the answer for."

Dimentio dodged another attack, "I'll show you harsh!" Wildly, he kept swinging until Mecha hit him be surprise, "Gah!"

Mecha closed his eyes, "You put up a short and easy fight, I've done harsher attacks on others… You are too busy being confused to fight…"

Dimentio swung his sword again, "Confused, I'm not sure!" He swung again and again, this time with more grace, "I see my normal technique doesn't work!" He exclaimed at Mecha hitting his sword, "But don't count me out just yet!" He dodged the attack and put on his mask, "I'm ready!" He exclaimed, once more going into the Dimentio form, "Flame Wheel!" He exclaimed as he shot himself at Mecha.

Mecha dodged and looked at Dimentio, "You are good… There is a boat a couple of miles away from this building, "I am done fighting right now, I need a rest." He looked at Dimentio, "However, next time we meet, you won't be so lucky!" Mecha started to run.

Dimentio blinked, "Um… Thanks?" He walked back to where he started and the door was opened, "Who is that guy? I mean, DAL was created to protect, so his AI must've glitched…"

Meanwhile, a few miles away from the building Mecha walked off, "I was created to protect…and so I have, but I must do the things I KNOW are right… DAL…I was created as a being that must protect while still acting human-like…but what I have experienced, is to much to bear! Dimentio713, you must die! But…when?" He looked up at the sky, which was sprinkled with stars, "Sadly, only the stars know."

* * *

**Final Verdict:**

_**Pros:**_

_Very well animated_

_The lips sync with the voice acting_

_The plot is VERY Layton-like_

_The puzzles are brilliant._

_Music is AWESOME!_

_**Cons:**_

_Sometimes doesn't explain a lot…_

_Some of the characters are unlikeable_

_Overall Rating: 8.5/10: A very good video game movie that let's you know that while the body is gone, the memories are always there, a good moral to go by._

* * *

**Professor Layton is owned by Level 5**

**Everything else belongs to their respective owners.**

**I thought this was a bit rushed, but considering I'm starting to not have enough time to do this, because band camp's in a week, I won't have enough time to make reviews, so I'm trying to finish this arc up before Aug 10.. So yeah, well see you guys later for Crash Course on Canon: Kingdom Hearts! **


	14. Pokemon Episode 1

Dimentio was looking around, "Oh! Hey guys!" He got on his phone, "Alright Dimentia, tell me when Mecha comes over."

Dimentia, who was obviously on the other line, nodded, "Alright."

Dimentio looked up, "Oh, hey guys! As you could've guessed, I'm in a bit of a situation here… Anyways, I'm not sure why Mecha wants with me, but let me tell you this… I'll be ready for him." He then grinned, "Anyways, I want to ask you a question… Do you want to be the very best, that no one ever was?"

Suddenly after Dimentio said those words, lights started to flash out of nowhere.

"To catch them is your real test, to train them is your cause!"

"Will you travel across the land, searching far and wide!"

"Each Pokemon to understand… THE POWER THAT'S INSIDE!"

Dimentio promptly then pointed at the camera, "POKEMON! GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!"

Akira was reading a book and looked up, "It's you and me."

Dimentio then did a fist pump with Fawful, "I KNOW IT'S MY DESTINY!"

DAL popped out, "POKEMON!"

Dimentio looked at his friends, "OHH, you're my best friend… IN A WORLD WE MUST DEFEND!"

Everybody promptly pumped their fists, "POKEMON!"

Dimentio got out his microphone, "A heart sooooooooo true!"

Fawful started to tear up, "OUR COURAGE WILL PULL US TRUE!"

Mecha looked up, "You teach me, and I'll teach you…"

"POKEMON! GOTTA CATCH EM ALL! GOTTA CATCH EM ALL! POKEMON!"

"Anyways, Pokemon! It's a great series of games, anime, manga… Heck, they even made trading cards! Sadly, I don't have any of them, but still…" He grinned, "Anyways, Pokemon first started in Japan and came out with the first Generation, Red & Green. Yes, that's why the remakes were called FireRed and LeafGreen! Not, FireRed and WaterBlue… Kinda silly names, y'know… Anyways, there were 4 main series games in the 1st generation, Red, Green, Blue, and Yellow! Yeah… It started out as a very strange game where caught animals to fight against other animals…but it was a very good game, So, today we'll be looking at Pokemon Episode 1, and see if it still holds up today."

* * *

_**I don't care what your thinking as you turn to me**_

_**'Cause what I have in my two hands is enough to set me free (set me free)**_

_**I can fight the feelin' to resist it over time**_

_**But when it's just too much to take you sneak up from behind**_

_**Is it me? You say, you're looking for?**_

_**Let me show you who I am and what I'm here for here for**_

_**Heaaay!**_

_**Try to reach inside of me!**_

_**Try to take my energy!**_

_**Let me show you just what I'm made of**_

_**Simple curiosity, trying to take a bite of me**_

_**Let me show you just what I'm made of now...**_

* * *

_Dimentio was seen with a Poke Ball, sending out a Monferno against Saire, who had a Gardevoir_

**Maskwitness Reviews: Pokemon Episode 1**

* * *

"So we start out with the original game's opening…AND IT BECOMES LIVE-ACTION! …Or animated…"

* * *

_(It turns out that there are two trainers fighting each other with a Gengar and a Nidorino)_

_Announcer: Nidorino begins the battle with a Horn Attack!_

Nintendo wasn't able to come up with original names until the second generation!

_Announcer: Oh, but Gengar bounces right back, and there it is: the Hypnosis power of Gengar!_

Quick! Switch out with a Pokemon that's awake!

_Announcer: This could be the end of Nidorino! Wait the Trainer called Nidorino! Which Pokemon will he use now!_

_(The trainer reveals an Onix)_

_Announcer: Oh it's Onix!_

Smart move! Since Gengar is also a Poison-type, not to mention, Onix is Rock/Ground! And since there are no abilities until Generation III, it's a smart move, y'know?

_Announcer: And now this giant Pokemon's on the attack!  
_

Gengar's trainer… He must've thought that Speed isn't that big…

"So it turns out to be a TV program and our main character, Ash, is watching it…"

_Narrator: Ash Ketchem is a boy from Pallet Town, _

Who is obsessed with Pokemon…but when you're 10, you're obsessed with Pokemon.

_Ash: And now that I'm 10, I can finally get my Pokemon license! _

10 year old kids… They fight crime syndicates! …What the heck is with Pokemon government?

_Narrator: 10 year olds can get a beginner Pokemon _

(cough) Starter (cough)

_Narrator: From Professor Oak._

And Professor Birch, possibly Elm, Rowan, and Juniper!

_Narrator: The town's Pokemon expert! _

_Ash: I will journey to gain the wisdom of Pokemon training! And I hereby declare the Pokemon of the world_

All 649 of them!

_Ash: I will be a Pokemon master!_

Dimentio looked deadpan, "Yeah… Good luck with that dude… There's like 649… It'll be difficult, y'know…

_Ash: Pokemon Master, that is what I'll-_

_Delia: Ash! _

Hehehe… He embarresed himself…

_Delia: Get to bed! It's 11:00 and you should go to sleep!_

A Pigey getting out of a Voltorb… Thank goodness it's a toy!

_Ash: But tomorrow I begin my Pokemon journey! _

And possibly die…

_Ash: I can't sleep!_

_Delia: Well, if you can't sleep, you should get ready for tomorrow, here watch this._

_(Professor Oak appears on the TV)_

_Oak: Good evening Pallet, tomorrow's the big day for the newest class of Pokemon students! I'd like to introduce you to Bulbasaur, Charmander, and Squirtle. Each one is available for new trainees, which one shall you choose?_

Yeah… When I was young, I kinda thought that trainers meant being trained… Also, it's trainers, not trainees… 4Kids everyone! Messing up dubs!

_Delia: Go to bed when this is done. _

_Ash: Alright, I'm going! _

_Delia: And change into your pajama's okay?_

* * *

"Delia… Embarrassing Ash since 1998… So anyways, the episode's title is called, Pokemon: I Choose You! What a confusing name!"

_Ash: (sleeping) Raising…Bulbasaur…that would be really simple… It's perfect for beginners. _

"So Ask dreams about letting out his Pokemon to fight, like Bulbasaur and Squirtle… Not to mention, his alarm clock falls… A simple coincidence or more? So a Dodrio wakes everyone in Pallet Town to wake up and this happens… Ash is still dreaming… This time about Charmander!"

(Ash: Oh, Charmander! Those in the know say that's the best way to go…)

Dimentio looked deadpan, "Ash… Charmander is a pretty bad choice for the original games… It is kinda weak, y'know? I mean, the first two Gym Leaders are Rock and Water… So yeah… So Ash wakes up and…"

* * *

_Ash: Oh no! What time is it?_

(Power Ranger: It's Morphing time!)

(Yami: It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!)

_Ash: (running in his pajamas) Squirtle, Bulbasaur, Charmander! Anyone's fine! Just please! Save one for me! _

"And now we see…" Dimentio blinked, "Oh no… It's Gary Oak's cheerleaders!"

(Darth Vader: NO!)

(Cheerleaders: Gary, Gary, he's our man! If he can't do it, no one can!)

Dimentio got out a stick, "AH!"

_Gary: Hey, watch where you're going! Well, you must be Ash! Better late than never I guess, at least you get the chance to meet me! _

_Ash: Gary?_

Man, is it me or does almost ALL of main rivals in the Pokemon anime act like jerks? …I still like N though, he's cool!

_Gary: Mr. Gary to you! Show some respect! Well Ash, you snooze, you lose! And you're way behind right from start!_

Coming from the guy who became a Pokemon Professor in the future…

_Gary: I've got a Pokemon, and you don't! _

_Ash: You…got your first Pokemon?_

Yes, a Squirtle!

_Gary: That's right loser! And it's right inside this Poke Ball! _

_Cheerleaders: Let's go Gary, let's go! Yeah! Yeah!_

_Gary: Thank you fans! Thank you for this great honor! I promise you that I will become a Pokemon Master! And make the Town of Pallet known all around the world!_

Too bad Ash saved the world more than once!

(SSBB Announcer: Failure.)

_Ash: Excuse me, I was just wondering if you could tell me what kind of Pokemon you got?_

_Gary: None of your business! If you showed up on time, you would've seen that I got the best Pokemon from Professor Oak! It's good to have a grand father in the Pokemon business, isn't it?_

It's also good to have friends in the Pokemon business! (cough) Misty and Brock (cough)

_Gary: (drives away in a red sports car) Thank you for coming out to see history in the making! Now I, Gary Oak, am off to learn the ways of the Pokemon Trainer!_

And that's where his nickname comes from…and due to my non-swearing policy, I cannot say it.

_Oak: So, you decided to show up after all?_

_Ash: Oh! Professor Oak! Where's my Pokemon?_

Yes…

_Oak: Your Pokemon? _

_Ash: Yes! I'm ready! _

_Oak: You look like you're ready for bed, not Pokemon training! _

Well… He came late…

_Oak: I hope you don't think you're going to train in your pajamas!_

* * *

Dimentio was then in his Konata outfit, "Hey! I review in this outfit too!" Dimentio blinked, "Wow…I just realized how messed up I can be…"

* * *

_Ash: No Professor, I got messed up this morning and I was a little late! But believe me, I'm ready for a Pokemon! _

_(In the lab)_

_Ash: I thought about it a long time, and I finally decided to choose, Squirtle. _

_(There's nothing in there)_

_Ash: Oh! _

_Oak: Already, taken by someone who was on time. _

_Ash: Oh, I wish I hadn't overslept._

* * *

"So Ash chooses Bulbasaur and Charmander…and there's nothing in there…and we find out there's one last Pokemon…and you know who that is everybody!"

* * *

_Oak: I think I should warn you, there is a problem with this last one… _

_Ash: I have to have a Pokemon! _

_Oak: Well, in that case…_

Eek! It's…

_Pikachu: Pikachu!_

Pikachu! The freaking mascot of the whole series!

_Oak: Its name is Pikachu, _

_Ash: Oh! It's so cute! It's the best of all! _

_Oak: You'll see…_

Aww! Pikachu looks so mad!

_Pika: Pika… (Shocks Ash)_

_Oak: It's also known as Electric Mouse, it's usually shy, but can sometimes have an electrifying personality!_

And so, many rip-offs of this scene was created by half-rate fanfiction writers!

_Ash: I can see what you mean… _

_Oak: Shocking, isn't it?_

…That was a horrible pun…

_Oak: Now take these, your PokeDex and Poke Balls. _

_Ash: Thank… YOU! (Discharges Electricity into Prof. Oak)_

_Oak: You're welcome! _

_(They go outside)_

_Ash: Mom! _

_Delia: Oh Ash, I'm so proud of you!_

Even if you're in your pajamas! I'm still proud of you!

_Delia: You're finally going to fulfill your dream and start your Pokemon training… But I..I'm going to miss you so much!_

Even when I'm kidnapped by a Pokemon created out of dreams of a young girl!

_Delia: Oh my little boy! _

_Pikachu: Pika-chu._

_Delia: I packed your sneakers and jeans, nice clean shirts and underwear, and your favorite snacks and some hot chocolate in case you want something hot, but be careful not to burn yourself and a pair of rubber gloves to do your laundry, and a new clothes line to hang to dry._

…Wow… I guess the Pokemon World teaches people to become independent…

_Ash: Mom! You're embarrassing me! In front of all these people! Don't you know I'm a big kid now! _

I'm 10!

_Ash: Pokemon Trainers can take care of themselves! _

_Delia: I understand. (Looks at Pikachu) Hm, that's your Pokemon? _

_Pikachu: Pikachu. _

Look out! It's dangerous! And also a male.

_Ash: Yup, that's my Pokemon! _

_Pikachu: Pi._

_Ash: With Pikachu on my side, I'll get all the Pokemon in the world! _

…You'll need at least 649 Poke Balls, so that's going to be difficult, you know…

_Delia: I thought all Pokemon stay inside their Poke Balls… Why isn't this one?_

Well, Piplup and Axew don't go inside their Poke Balls, y'know?

* * *

"So Ash tries to get Pikachu into his Poke Ball, but he refuses…and shocks everybody there… Also, Oak makes this quip."

(Oak: Those rubber gloves your mom packed will come in handy!)

(Ash: Why?)

(Oak: Rubber blocks electricity.)

"4Kids! Failure at science! I mean, rubber insulates electricity, Oak! So anyways, Delia says this while dazed."

(Delia: Don't forget to change your underwear, every single day…)

(Ash: Okay…)

"So they start their journey…and Ash is pulling a rope with Pikachu in it…with rubber gloves…"

* * *

_Ash: Pikachu? Are you going to be like this the whole way?_

Well… He's gonna be your lifelong friend…

_Ash: Is it because you don't like me?_

Or is it because you're my dad? …Yes, there are theories like that…

_Pikachu: (nods head) Pika, pika. _

_Ash: Well, I like you a lot! And since you're the Pokemon I'm training, don't you think you can be a little bit nicer and open your mouth and tell me what's wrong?_

Pokemon can only say their names… For a fan of Pokemon, Ash is a bit stupid…

_Ash: Well, you're just like all Pokemon and you should act like one. So get inside the Poke Ball, like it says in the Poke Dex. _

Well, he's more than a Pokemon… He's a mascot!

_Poke Dex: While being trained, Pokemon usually stay inside its Poke Ball._

_Ash: You see!_

_Pikachu: (Jumps and presses a button) Pika!_

_Poke Dex: However, there are many exceptions, many Pokemon hate being confined._

_Ash: Okay then. (Unties Pikachu) This oughta make things better! (Gets rid of his rubber gloves) And I'll get rid of these! _

"So Pikachu still refuses to accept Ash as his trainer and we see a Pidgey! Yet, Pikachu still refuses to help Ash…" He grinned, "And now we see the iconic 'Who's That Pokemon,' which recently has been revived in the new series, Black & White. And who's the Pokemon?"

(It's Pikachu!)

(Pikachu: PIKA CHU!)

"So Ash decides to start off with getting a Pidgey, saying this:"

_Ash: Okay, I've pledged to get all the Pokemon in the world._

I pointed it out already, the joke became dumb when I said it… SO MANY TIMES!

_Ash: Now I'm already taking the next step to becoming the number one Pokemon Master!_

Never gonna happen folks! I'm sorry, but it's nearly impossible!

_Ash: Enjoy your last moments of freedom Pidgey! Cause you're mine! _

_(Ash tilts his hat backwards) _

_Ash: Poke Ball… GO!_

_(Poke Ball gets the Pidgey inside)_

I think you guys know what's going to happen, so I'm going to skip a few seconds later…

_(Pidgey gets out easily)  
_

_Ash: I blew it…_

_Pikachu: Hehehe. _

_Poke Dex: To capture a Pokemon, you usually use your own Pokemon battle with the other…_

I hate saying this…but I'm gonna say it. Basics. Seriously, I saw Ash grow…and seeing him like this, it's stupid.

_Ash: Now he tells me…_

_Pikachu: (Laughing uncontrollably) _

_Ash: But I have to do everything myself! (sees backpack) Wait! I got an idea!_

* * *

Dimentio kept hitting himself, "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Ash… You're being stupid. I get it's the first episode and all, but it's so unamusing seeing Ash being THIS stupid! If you haven't guessed… He tries to use his dirty pajamas to catch a Pidgey… This isn't funny… It's stupid. Ash should know better! Well, I would act that way too…but still… It's kinda annoying… So a Rattata tries to barge into Ash's backpack, but Ash chases it away…"

(Poke Dex: It also goes out in the open field to steal food from stupid travelers)

"That is a sick burn… Coming from a Poke Dex!" Dimentio looked at his Poke Dex.

"You are a moron." It said.

"…Continue."

So Ash sees a Flying-type and thinks it's a Pidgey, but it's actually…

* * *

_Poke Dex: Unlike Pidgey, Spearow has a terrible attitude; it is very wild and will sometimes attack other Pokemon and humans._

This guy is the main character? I'm sorry, but I'm happy that Characterization Marches On… Ash is SOOOOOO stupid…

_Spearow sees Pikachu and attacks it_

_Ash: Hey! Leave Pikachu alone! It didn't throw the rock! _

_Poke Dex: Wild Pokemon tend to be jealous of human-trained Pokemon._

So does that mean human-trained Pokemon are jealous of robot-trained Pokemon? Just a question…

"So Spearow sends out his whole…um…herd or clan or something out and Ash and Pikachu run away…" Dimentio stated, "We also see Sandshrew and Mankeys…"

_Ash: (running) Don't worry Pikachu! No matter what, I'll save you! _

_Pikachu: (runs ahead) _

_Ash: Don't run ahead! I said I'd protect- (gets hit by a Spearow) Ow!_

_(Sees Pikachu being hurt) _

_Ash: Leave it alone Spearows!_

Finally! The Ash I recognize!

_Ash: PIKACHU! _

"So Ash jumps into the water and for some reason, doesn't seem to have any- Oh look! A Magikarp! …And a Gyarados..." Dimentio shrugged, "Okay… Anyways, we see Misty in this episode…who's fishing… Anyways, this is Misty's reaction to Ash and Pikachu."

_Misty: Nah, it's just a kid… Oh! And a Pokemon! Oh, are you okay?_

_Ash: Yeah, I'm okay._

_Misty: Not you! Look what you've done to that poor little thing! Is it breathing?_

Wow… Thank goodness for character development! Yes, I'm a Poke-shipper… Sue me!

_Ash: Well… I think so…_

_Misty: Well, don't just sit there! It needs a doctor right away! There's a medical center not to far from here, you got to be moving now!_

_Ash: You mean a hospital? _

_Misty: Yes, for Pokemon! _

It's called a Pokemon Center…

_Ash: Can you tell me, which way do I go?_

_Misty: That way! _

_(They notice the Spearow)_

_Ash: They're coming back! Run! (Takes Misty's bike)_

_Misty: What are you doing?_

Grand theft auto!

_Ash: I'm borrowing this!_

_Misty: Wait! Hey! That's my bike! _

Hehe… Running gags are funny…

_Ash: I'll give it back someday!_

That day just might be February 31, 7241234214w7e85923q755432!

_Misty: Oh you! _

Say bye to Misty! We're gonna see her again!

* * *

"So Ash, in his true Ash fashion goes on a field and bikes away from the Spearow…and falls, but he still protects Pikachu… Pikachu, finally accepting Ash, gets hit by lighting and uses Thunder Bolt…and Misty's bike is fried… Don't you LOVE running gags! So we see a Legendary Pokemon, its name? Ho-oh… This is the first 2nd Generation Legendary Pokemon to be seen… It deserves respect…and this is what the Poke Dex says:"

(Poke Dex: There is no data, there are still Pokemon yet to be identified)

"So the Narrator closes the episode and says that we'll see more…and that is the end of the first episode… As it stands, it's very interesting episode, it shows you the main character, Ash, grow… However, sometimes, he's a bit TOO stupid…but Pokemon is Pokemon, and that is why it's still around. We grew with Ash and Pikachu's adventure across the world, and it still remains an iconic series." He walked off and Dimentia looked at Dimentio.

"Dimentio… It's time." She said.

Dimentio looked at her, "Wish me luck!"

He looked at DAL, "Call Mecha. It's time for some answers."

DAL nodded, "Alright." Mecha was on the screen.

"Dimentio713… It's time."

Dimentio summoned his sword, "Where are you!"

Mecha grinned, "Right here!" A segment of the wall fell down and Mecha was there, "Dimentio713."

Dimentia ran in front of Dimentio, "You want him! Go past me first!" Who ever this robot was, was NOT hurting Dimentio!

Mecha looked at Dimentia and shook his head, "This isn't your fight. Dimentia… I'm sorry…" He punched her away across the room, where Fawful and Akira saw Mecha.

Fawful blinked, "Um… Dimentio… Who's this guy?"

Mecha looked at Fawful, "I'm sorry Fawful… It's too much… I can't say anything yet."

Dimentio looked at Fawful and Akira, "Guys, get out. Bring Dimentia, BKFood, and Kits with you."

Akira blinked, "Seriously, you're not letting us fight with you?" She shook her fist, "Come on! That guy's trying to kill you and you (bleep) don't want to fight with us!"

Mecha looked at Akira, "Go…" He then looked at DAL, "And before you try what Pollo did to Mechakara… It won't work, we may have the same coding, but we're NOT the same. I have a soul…"

DAL blinked, "How?"

Mecha closed his eyes, "I…I don't know how or why, but I do." He looked at everybody else, "I don't want anybody outside of Dimentio and me to get hurt."

Akira looked at Mecha, "Listen up, robo-idiot! Mess with one of us, you mess with all of us!" She exclaimed.

Dimentio looked at Akira, "I thought you hated us?"

Akira shrugged, "I don't hate you. I'm just annoyed with you guys."

Dimentio blinked, "…Okay…"

Mecha sighed, "Must you do it the hard way? I'm sorry." He snapped his fingers and he and Dimentio were gone!"

Kits ran into the room, "Okay, I heard from Dimentia that…" He looked around, "Where's Dimentio?"

BKFood also came into the room, "Why does everybody look confused?"

* * *

Dimentio and Mecha were in a different area, the second dimension (not related to the Phineas and Ferb movie)

Dimentio blinked, "Why is everything…flat?"

Mecha summoned his sword, "It's the only place where I can fight you without anybody getting hurt." Dimentio pointed at himself, "Besides each other."

Dimentio looked at Mecha, "Why do you want to kill me anyways! Are you like Iron?"

Mecha looked at Dimentio, "Iron? Iron? That clone isn't more than someone who wants nothing more than to kill Tohokari-Steel! I'm more than that… I'm after one thing and one thing only… The safety for everybody."

"But you're DAL! That should include me too, right?" Dimentio asked Mecha, clearly confused.

Mecha sighed, "If only it was like that… I had to kill the Dimentio in my dimension… I…I don't want to talk about it… Too much pain…."

Dimentio looked at Mecha, "Look, I don't know anything about you…but you're trying to hurt me…without reason too! I…I don't want to worry, but what you want to do worries me! You won't tell me, and that makes me VERY confused!"

Mecha sighed, "I can't tell you… What if everything gets messed up? I can't let that happen… Let's fight." Mecha swung his sword and Dimentio and once more Dimentio blocked it.

Dimentio looked at Mecha, "Alright." The two blades clashed, each exchanging blows, until Dimentio kicked Mecha…causing Dimentio immense pain, "…What am I thinking?" He exclaimed.

Mecha looked at Dimentio, "Seriously? Kicking me? That doesn't do anything…"

* * *

Kits looked panicked, "Okay Fawful! You're the smart one! What should we do!"

"I don't know! I might be smart, but I can't get to where Mecha and Dimentio went without my more advanced machines! And more importantly, Dimentia's fainted! I can't do anything here!" Fawful retorted.

Akira looked at Fawful, "Don't you keep your experiments in your cloak?"

Fawful sighed, "I'm sorry, but it seems that Mecha blocked all transmissions from all the dimensions… It'll take hours for me to break into that!"

"Maybe we don't have too…" Dimentia said as she got up, "I have an idea… Fawful, get your power-up prototype."

"WHAT!" Fawful exclaimed, "But…but…it's a prototype! More importantly, when I tested it out…"

Dimentia sighed, "Dimentio needs our help, and we gotta do that! I can't get to where Dimentio is…my powers are too weak right now…but I can send non-organic material!"

BKFood blinked, "Wait… I remember when Fawful tested that thing on me… That was embarrassing…"

* * *

Mecha swung his sword at Dimentio who panicked, "Eep!" He grabbed his agimat, "Eep!" Suddenly, it became a shield, "Oh… I forgot about my Agimat-Shield…" Mecha got out a Dimentio mask and Dimentio713 blinked.

"Where'd you get that?" Dimentio asked.

Mecha sighed, "It was a long time ago, back in my original dimension…" He put it on and he became a very metallic version of Dimentio713's Dimentio form.

"Oh boy…" Dimentio said, "I didn't know you could do that…"

Mecha looked at Dimentio, "It's okay, you don't know much about me anyways."

"…Was that supposed to be an insult?" Dimentio asked Mecha.

"FLAME WHEEL!" Mecha exclaimed, using said move.

"Yipe!" Dimentio exclaimed as he dodged it, "Where's my mask?" He looked at his pants, "…I left it in my room…" He dodged another Flame Wheel.

"Mach Punch!" Mecha said hitting Dimentio.

"…Yeah…today sucks." Dimentio plainly said.

* * *

Fawful got a case, "Okay… Let's go."

Dimentia struggled to get up, "Be safe… Dimentio…" She opened a portal and Fawful threw the case inside. She then collapsed.

Akira looked at Dimentia, "I'll get her to her room, she needs to rest up."

* * *

Dimentio was lying on the ground, bleeding, "This...doesn't look good..."

Mecha sighed, "If only life was different, I'm sorry Dimentio. It's for the greater good."

Dimentio looked at Mecha, "Greater…good? How is killing me, good?"

Mecha looked away, "There's a great evil coming, something will happen…and I can't let it happen here. I protect, but for that to happen… I must kill you."

Dimentio closed his eyes, "Why? This 'evil' … It can't hurt me or you!"

Mecha took off his mask, making him look like Dimentio, "It just might… I can't take that chance!"

Suddenly the portal opened, the case opening, revealing a coin, falling on Dimentio. There was a bright light that engulfed Dimentio and the whole area

Mecha stepped back, "What!"

The light died down revealing Dimentio's cuts, burns, and bruises to be gone...but there was only one problem.

"WHY AM I IN A SAILOR FUKU!" Dimentio exclaimed…not in his voice, but rather a girl's voice, he looked at his hair, "Why is my hair blue? What's with my voice!" He felt his glasses on him, "Okay, my glasses are there…but why do I look like this!"

Immediately, it was revealed that Dimentio looked almost like Konata…if she was tanned…

Mecha blinked, "Why?"

Dimentio looked at Mecha, "I don't know! I…" He sighed, "Okay, clearly there's a logical reason!"

"_Is this thing on?" _

Dimentio jumped back from the voice, "What! Fawful!"

"_Oh good! It got to you! Listen Dimentio, this is a proto-type of your power-up. I created it just in case you forgot your mask! Also, it gives you more powers!"_

"Like what?" Dimentio deadpanned.

Mecha blinked, "Why are you talking to yourself?"

"One second. Court of Order. Whatever." He then talked to Fawful, "What powers?"

"_Agility, the ability to confuse your opponents, and more importantly, your sword has changed to fit your appearance."_

Dimentio summoned his sword, which looked a tad bit more…cartoon-ish than normal, "What else."

"_Your personality might change… Also, don't worry, you'll be fine! You're still a guy! It's just a prototype."_

"Yeah… It works and I swear if the final version changes me to a girl, I'll kill you!"

"_Sorry! It's supposed make light shine around you…"_

"Clearly, it worked a bit…" Dimentio said, clearly deadpan…in Konata's voice, "Well at least, I'm okay…" He summoned the Purity Sword, which looked cartoon-ish as you know already "Okay Mecha! Let's go!"

Mecha blinked, "This is a very strange situation we're in."

Dimentio nodded, "Yeah, I know." He swung his sword, more agile than usual at Mecha, "Wow… I feel like I'm a tad bit stronger!"

Mecha put his mask on, "I guess we're both even now!"

Dimentio blinked, "Strangely…we are!" He dodged Mecha's Flame Wheel which turned around and came at him. Immediately, Dimentio jumped and ducked down, "This is so strange." Dimentio said.

Mecha got a dark energy in his claws, "SHADOW CLAW!"

Dimentio jumped up and punched him in the face, making Mecha fall, "This…is strange…"

Mecha looked at Dimentio, "It's awkward…but I see that you STILL fight well." He sighed, "You're doing well."

Dimentio nodded, "Yeah…"He swung his sword and hit Mecha into the foot, "Look Mecha… I don't know whether to trust you or not…but still, I want answers."

Mecha looked away, "I'm sorry." He jumped up and swung his sword once more, "I can't say any more." His sword clashed with Dimentio's once more, "There's so much, but I can't talk about much…when the time is right." He put down his sword, "You're a good fighter, but that doesn't take away everything you did to me."

Dimentio looked at Mecha, "What did I do to you! I never do anything to you!"

"AND YET YOU DID!" Mecha retorted, "It was you from another dimension! No...it wasn't you though..."

Dimentio's eyebrow rose up, "What?"

Mecha shook his head, "Never mind. I must leave now." He snapped his fingers and the two disappeared.

* * *

Dimentio came back, "Wow… That was weird…"

BKFood and Kits blinked, "Yeah… Weird."

Dimentio looked at himself, "Fawful… When does this form finish?"

Fawful shrugged, "In an hour."

Dimentio blinked, "Is Dimentia alright?"

Fawful nodded, "Yeah, she's resting."

Dimentio looked away, "Okay, I'm going to take a shower and go to sleep." He then looked at Fawful, "Is there…"

"Don't worry, you're fine." Fawful reassured him.

Akira looked at Dimentio, "To be honest, it's kinda weird, in essence, you just cross-dressed…"

Dimentio sighed, "Yeah… I know. I hope that won't happen in the future…" He walked off, thinking only one thing, what did Mecha want? What did he do to him? Will he meet up with him in the future?

Mecha came back in his hideout and contacted Iron, "Okay. Let's go."

Iron nodded, "Alright. This better work."

Mecha sighed, "It will." He looked up as he only had one thing on his mind, _"Don't worry Steel, it'll be alright. Iron doesn't know this, but I have a plan already."_

* * *

**Pros: **

_Sets up Ash's Pokemon journey perfectly_

_Voice acting good for that time_

_Actually funny jokes_

**Cons:**

_Ash can be a total idiot_

_Few characters are not-so-nice_

_Voices sometimes don't sync with the lips_

_Final Verdict: 7/10. A very good start, but at the same time, after growing up with Ash, he comes out as really stupid, but he still has that attitude that still continues to this day. _

_Pokemon is owned by Nintendo_

_Everything else belongs to their respective owners._

* * *

**Yeah, not only does this set up for Turnabout Summer, it also does show one of my first attempts at a real fight scene… Not so great if you ask me… I grew up with Pokemon and it's nice to see that Ash grew out of that immaturity. Also, I'm a Pokeshipper. **


	15. Season 2 Trailer

Dimentio was seen sleeping, he had his Winnie-the-Pooh bear animal with him and was wearing his Mario pajamas. All the while, his alarm clock started to ring, the song? CADENZA's version of Cornered.

Dimentio started to get up as the song stopped the intro and the rock started.

"YIPE!" Dimentio exclaimed as he got up, "Huh… Oh, everything's okay..." He looked at the calendar, "Wait… IT'S NOV 11 ALREADY!" He looked at his watch to make sure, "CRUD! I GOTTA GET MY REVIEW READY!"

**Plans for this month: **

Lucky Star Ep. 2

Midori Days

Sailor Moon

**Get ready! Get set… OBJECTION! **

Wait….what?

**Look forward to the month of February! **

Dimentio looked panicked, "What's happening then?"

**Be prepared for a new villain!**

Dimentio looked at his watch, "I bet this villain will be an Insano expy…"

**Be ready for more chapters! **

Dimentio had his glasses on while typing, "I DON'T WANNA DO A DOUBLE FEATURE!"

**Get ready! For season 2! Starting Nov. 14! **


	16. Lucky Star Episode 2

"_Once upon a time… There was a hero…He became lost. Now he must find his way back home. With the help of his friends, he can beat any odds! Now it is time for…"_

(static)

"You've gotta be kidding me…" Dimentio said, faceplaming himself, "What does this have to do with Maskwitness Reviews?"

Dimentia entered the room, "The same reason Tabuu is a bad villain."

"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!" Dimentio exclaimed, clearly annoyed.

"I don't know…" Dimentia said, "Anyways, it's time the new season to start now."

Dimentio sighed, "FINE!" He started to walk towards the review room, "Also… Does anybody know where I'm gonna review."

"Dude, it's your anniversary…" Dimentia told Dimentio, "It's Lucky Star episode 2~!" Dimentia said, obviously cheerful.

Dimentio sighed, "Let's get this show on the road then…"

Dimentia glared at Dimentio, "BE MORE CHEERFUL!" She exclaimed, "MIND SNAP!"

"DA!" Dimentio exclaimed before fainting.

* * *

_**I don't care what your thinking as you turn to me**_

_**'Cause what I have in my two hands is enough to set me free (set me free)**_

_**I can fight the feelin' to resist it over time**_

_**But when it's just too much to take you sneak up from behind**_

_**Is it me? You say, you're looking for?**_

_**Let me show you who I am and what I'm here for here for**_

_**Heaaay!**_

_**Try to reach inside of me!**_

_**Try to take my energy!**_

_**Let me show you just what I'm made of**_

_**Simple curiosity, trying to take a bite of me**_

_**Let me show you just what I'm made of now...**_

* * *

_Dimentio was seen watching an anime…while having blue hair…and was looking at the camera. He was saying, "I'm a nerd, okay?"_

**Maskwitness Reviews: Lucky Star Episode 2**

* * *

"FOR THE LAST TIME!" Dimentio exclaimed, yelling into his phone, "NO! I DO NOT WANT CHEESE PIZZA! I WANT HAWAIIAN AND PEPPERONI!"

"_You want Hamburger Pizza?" _ The man on the phone asked._  
_

"What…but…di… NO!" Dimentio groaned as he leaned on the table, "I'll call you later!" He hung up and growled, "Makes as much sense the 'Great Mission to Save Princess Peach…'" Dimentio sighed as he looked at the camera, "Hey guys… Remember the first review on this thing? Lucky Star Episode 1? I hated that episode, but it grew on me and so, we shall review. The second episode, today. On November 14…the same day I started. "

* * *

So as we know, the tune to the Lucky Star anime stays the same and y'know… It's catchy. It'll always be the same!

_Kagami and Tsukasa: (Laughing) _

_Kagami: So stinky y'know?_

_Tsukasa: Stinky._

* * *

"WHAT LED INTO THIS CONVERSTATION!" Dimentio exclaimed, he started to sniff his armpit, "I was working out okay…"

Akira entered the room, "Working out, peh… More like playing Ocarina of Time 3D!"

Dimentio looked at Akira, "THERE IS NO PROOF!"

Akira looked away as she pointed to Dimentio's 3DS, still on, "Actually, you haven't taken a shower in weeks!"

"I DID!" Dimentio said, offended, "It's BKFood who doesn't… DAL's trying to chase him right now."

* * *

_Kagami and Tsukasa's Dad: Hello girls, Golden Week is almost over now. Were you able to get done with your homework and stuff? _

Golden Week is a holiday in Japan, I think it was mentioned in the Haruhi review…and no, I wasn't checking the past reviews…

_Tsukasa: Um… I haven't finished yet._

Neither have I… I have some homework piled up…

_Tsukasa: You how just wanna play during these long holidays. We're in trouble, aren't we sis?_

_Kagami: Sorry…but I'm almost done with my homework…_

Don't worry! I bet the Cutie Mark Crusaders haven't finished the essay on Discord.

_Tsukasa: (Thinking) But we've been playing this whole time…_

* * *

"Actually, one could do all-nighters, y'know Tsukasa? Like I might do someday… So anyways, we find out what Kagami has been doing this whole time… Waking up early…"

(DUN! DUN! DUN!)

"It's pretty much a split screen, so I'll just summarize it. Kagami wakes up early to do her homework while Tsukasa sleeps in… I remember when I slept in…and then I became a high-schooler. Anyways, like I said before in the first episode this IS a slice-of-life anime, so in essence. It shows a hard-working student…and a not-so hard-working student…and hey! There's Konata!"

* * *

_Kagami: Did you see the special finale of Love Apron last night?_

TO THE INTERNET!

(Screen-swipe)

WHAT'S LOVE APRON! IS IT AN ANIME!

{If anybody knows what it is… Please tell me!}

_Konata: No, missed it._

_Tsukasa: I slept in the middle…_

_Kagami: You slept through the end? I can't believe you slept through the end of it! This guy shows out of nowhere with a red bucket on his head._

Now I'm positive that Love Apron ISN'T an anime…

* * *

"So pretty much, I can riff this whole time…AND I SHALL!"

_Kagami's mom: Kagami! Miyuki-chan is on the phone for you._

Hi Fluttershy-esque character!

_Miyuki: I was wondering if you would like to get together and to go over the answers on our homework! _

_Kagami: Sure! That sounds like an awesome idea! _

And now we have Konata… That loveable slacker…

_Kagami's Mom: Kagami! Konata's on the phone!_

_Konata: Yeah, so do you want to get together to go over all the answers to our homework? _

_Kagami: WAIT A MINTUE! YOU'RE JUST GONNA COPY ALL MY ANSWERS AREN'T YA!_

Tsundere…tsundere… Kagami's a tsundere!

_Konata: Okay, I'm here, can I copy your homework now?_

Total Konata.

_Kagami: Man talk about being blunt… FINE! You can copy my homework if you want! But if you don't do it on your own, you're still gonna blow that exam we have coming up after the break! _

_Tsukasa: I guess you're right. In the long run, it's not going to be good for me…_

Total Tsukasa…

_Konata: I'm good at pulling all nighter's for a test, so I'm down for copying actually…_

_Kagami: DO YOU EVEN HAVE A CONSCIENCE! _

Total Konata…

* * *

"So Miyuki comes in and well… They just talk what Konata's gonna do… Copy off Kagami's homework… If she in an American high school, she'd be screwed…" Dimentio said, shrugging his shoulders, "Anyways, another split screen, so I'll just summarize it once more. Konata's busy playing role-playing games, while Tsukasa was planning… Like I said before, it's pretty much how you'll expect them to act like… Now imagine them as ponies… Anyways, back to the episode."

* * *

_Tsukasa: I wanted to get everything done. I even had it planned out. _

_Kagami: Your plans failed._

Geez, even Dimentia's not as tsundere as you… Wait…she is…

_Konata: Your resistance was futile._

Geez… Konata… That sounds kinda jerkish, y'know?

_Kagami: YOU'RE WORST THAN HER! _

…Yup, she's a tsundere.

* * *

"So Kagami notices Tsukasa trying to do her homework…and sleeping on top of it. Let's just say… She shows a bit of her dere side…BUT this is what she notices."

(Kagami: BUT HER ACCURACY IS HORRIBLE! I CAN'T BEAR IT! HORRIBLE. Just horrible)

Dimentio sighed, "How tsundere can one Kagami be."

* * *

_Ms. Kuroi: So…were you guys able to have any fun during the short break? I know you had quite a lot of homework to do and you all have that little midterm thing today! Don't tell me you spent the whole vacation goofing off instead of studying!_

Dimentio looked at his papers next to him, as he started to sweat-drop, "Sadly, since sensei decided to choose the more "American" route... He gave me some Algebra 2 Honors homework, German 2 homework, and Bio Honors homework. And more importantly, I have to practice my fighting skills… Such is a busy life for one like me."

_Minoru: Man, that didn't feel like a vacation at all._

* * *

As soon as that line played, Akira burst into the room, "WHAT THE (Bleep) ARE YOU DOING!"

Dimentio looked around, "Crud…" He said to himself, "Um… Reviewing…"

Akira sighed, "Great… Now I can't get you…" She walked away and got out a lollipop to suck on.

Dimentio sighed as he rolled over on his chair, "Thank goodness…"

* * *

_Ms. Kuroi: Life's tough, I just kicked back and played around the whole time!_

That's not what I did during my summer vacation… I WAS IN JAIL!

_Konata: Um, ma'am._

_Ms. Kuroi: Yeah?_

_Konata: I kicked back and played around the whole time too! _

_Ms. Kuroi: Hey!_

* * *

"So the scene randomly switches to an arcade." Dimentio said looking at the scene, "Um… What happened? What was with the random scene switch? Anyways, we see Sgt. Frog or something cameoing in here. What's next? Madness Abe appearing out of nowhere?"

Suddenly Madness Abe came out of nowhere, "Hi Dimentio! Bye Dimentio!" He said vanishing just as quickly as he came.

Dimentio blinked as he looked at where Abe came from, "Um… What's next? I get my driver's license and a free car?"

And nothing happened…

"…Back to the anime."

* * *

_Kagami (watching Konata try her hand at a crane game): I always thought they designed these things so that you couldn't get the prizes._

_Konata: Ah, kinda depends on the prize._

Like ice cream.

(Yes people, there are ice cream crane games… I saw one for my own eyes.)

_Konata: Some of these are supposed to be hard to get._

_Tsukasa: Really?_

_Kagami: Whatever, I never felt like trying it anways._

_(Konata gets Sgt. Frog)_

_Tsukasa: Oh amazing!_

_Konata: Yeah, this little guy is an easy one to grab._

Ice cream…ISN'T!

_Kagami: Really… (thinking) If it's that easy to get one, maybe if I tried it I'll get one too…_

_Konata: Is that what you were thinking?_

_Kagami: What are you talking about! I wasn't thinking ANYTHING!_

Right…and I'm a member of the lollipop guild…

_Kagami: I'll just try this one time. _

_Tsukasa: Go for it sis! You can do it!_

I'm just gonna sit back and watch you FAIL!

* * *

"So yeah… We see Kagami fail and trade in her hard-earned money for coins and lucky shots in getting things… Too bad she doesn't get it."

* * *

_Konata: A wise man once said, "A UFO catcher catches someone else's piggy bank_

_Kagami: True words of wisdom._

Agreed.

* * *

"So we hear Haruhi Suzumiya theme play as we find out that they are STILL at the arcade…and Tsukasa is unable to…well play it…"

* * *

_Tsukasa: No… I totally suck at this game… You've got really good rhythm Kona-chan._

_Konata: Nah, it doesn't have anything to do with rhythm. Rhythm, coordination, problem solving. The skills you get from gaming are useless in the real world._

…Who are you and what have you done to Konata?

_Kagami: Looking at you, I don't doubt that one bit._

OBJECTION! RHYTHM IS USED IN BAND! AND I'M PLANNING TO INCORPORATE RHYTHM IN MY FIGHTING STYLE!

* * *

"So we find out they are STILL at the arcade… Shockingly, and that there's people wanting to play a fighting game with Konata…and are shocked by who they are fighting…and we get another random scene change…"

* * *

_Ms. Kuroi: Izumi? Hm? Has anybody seen Izumi today? _

_Some French-sounding person… Oh wait, it's just a guy with a gruff voice: Hey, Ms. Kuroi, I got a Ms. Izumi on the line for ya._

_Ms. Kuroi: Kuroi speaking. Why aren't you in class? _

MMORPGing maybe?

_Konata: I'm sorry, I gotta take the day off. I'm not feeling too good…_

Really…

_Ms. Kuroi: That's unusual. Did you catch a cold or something? _

_Konata: Nah, it's just the May sickness is all._

_(Ms. Kuroi looks annoyed)_

_Konata: I feel sluggish, y'know…_

_Ms. Kuroi: HURRY UP AND GET DOWN HERE!_

…Thank goodness sensei's not like that…

_(Scene changes)_

_Kagami: Hey, we're going home now. (Sees Konata packing up her bag) What's up, Konata? Why are you stuffing all those books in your bag?_

_Konata: The exams start tomorrow, and that means I gotta take all my books home tonight so I can cram till dawn._

SAT's never work like that… You need a day to relax

_Kagami: You never take your books home to study? You leave them here everyday? Unbelievable, look Konata for one thing there's no way you're gonna learn all that stuff the night before an exam._

Tis' true

_Konata: Eh, I've always made it through exams doing it this way. _

_Kagami: You're confident. (smirks) We'll see how long that attitude lasts you tomorrow._

* * *

"So we get…a scene change?" Dimentio said, "WITH THE SOUND EFFECTS AND EVERYTHING TOO! So we find out that they're taking the tests and…apparently Ms. Kuroi is practically the teacher for almost everything… I mean, in future episodes, she teaches more often than most of the other teachers at this school!"

* * *

_Ms. Kuroi: Okay, I'm going to return the exams you took the other day._

_(Everybody groans)_

(Redd White: QUIETUDE!)

"So apparently Kagami got a B, Tsukasa got a not so great grade judging from her reaction…which has her hiding it, and Konata…apparently passed it… Okay… And yes, this IS a real clip."

(Kagami: YOU AREN'T HUMAN ARE YA?)

"So Konata goes to a manga store and apparently, she wants a part-time job because she wants some MORE otaku stuff...for like five minutes or something..." Dimentio sighed as he double face-plammed himself, "Granted, this scene gets more important later…BUT for an average viewer… It doesn't make sense. Anyways, we get this scene next."

* * *

_Kagami: I never heard someone use May sickness as an excuse before._

_Miyuki: I understand where she's coming from though._

_Konata: Well, they call it a sickness, so the excuse is perfectly legit, isn't it?_

May sickness… Maybe Miyuki will explain what it comes from.

_Kagami: Do you honestly believe that's true?_

_Konata: Yeah._

_Tsukasa: What exactly is the May sickness anyways?_

Miykui-chan, please explain.

_Tsukasa: Miyuki, you wanna explain it?_

_Miyuki: Well, by definition, May sickness comes after you've accomplished a major goal: such as a college entrance-exam, or if you've just a new job. It also happens when a relationship that started in April doesn't work out, or when you can't reconcile the life you wanted versus the life you had. The symptoms include: lethargy, apathy, and a mild depression._

* * *

Dimentio's head promptly exploded.

**Few minutes later**

Dimentio blinked, "Okay… I just used my spare 1-up, so I'm good to go. Continue Miyuki."

* * *

_Miyuki: You see, if you just feel lethargic, you can't call that the May sickness_

_Kagami: Besides, all of us are still in the 11th grade, so it doesn't apply to us yet._

You guys look like 10th graders…

_Konata: I like the change in pace in spring, I always do my best this time of year._

_Kagami: I guess I can see your point though, I feel a little blah around this year too._

I feel blah before school starts…or anything major.

_Kagami: I don't know, sometimes I feel like doing homework and stuff when I get home. _

_Konata: Oh yeah, I feel the same way. _

_Kagami: I'm skipping the snide remark. I'm pooped._

* * *

"So another sudden scene change and we get THIS thrilling line of dialogue."

* * *

_Miyuki: (sighing)_

_Tsukasa: What's wrong Yuki-chan? Why are you sighing and stuff?_

* * *

"They start talking about dentists, that's all… Seriously, that's all they talk about right here… This anime IS not-so-great material to review… Anyways, we find out that Konata thinks guys like going to the dentist because of drills… I seriously don't… I could care less and we suddenly get it something that Konata's imagining… Apparently, it's based off of a robot dentist with drills and a moe dental assistant…Huh?" Dimentio sighed as he looked at his watch, "Is this episode over yet? I mean… STOP TALKING ABOUT DENTISTS! I like this anime, don't get me wrong…BUT IT GETS ANNOYING TO RIFF AT!"

Dimentia went into the room, "Mind snap." She said plainly.

**Few minutes later**

"Back to the anime!" Dimentio said, his arm in a cast and his glasses slightly broken.

* * *

_Konata: What the?_

_Kagami: Now what's wrong?_

_Konata: They're turning one of my favorite series into an anime! But the cast is completely different from the one on the Drama CD._

…What's a drama CD… INTERNET TIME!

**Few mintues later**

Voice recordings for light novels and manga…

_Kagami: Really? I don't get what the big idea is._

_Konata: Is this like an Act of God or something?_

The sucky Elseworlds series which Linkara reviewed that had something to do with the DC superheroes losing their powers?

_Konata: (continuing) Politics, money, what?_

_Kagami: I never really got Drama CDs so I don't really care who's in the cast. If the voice matches the characters in the original series, I'm okay._

_Konata: But that's not how it works Kagamin, if you're used to listening to the drama CD's, it's weird when you start to watch the anime and the voices are different. You see it takes a long time for that weirdness to go away._

Much like Ben Judd and Sam Riegel's Phoenix Wright… Despite Ben Judd only having like three lines…

_Kagami: Oh?_

_Konata: But something good definitely comes out of news like this._

Becoming a troll?

_Kagami: Yeah, what?_

_Konata: Drama CDs and anime! You can enjoy two worlds with two different sets of voices._

That's great! And I agree with you Konata! I enjoy Sam Riegel's Phoenix Wright

_Konata: That's two for the price of one! _

_Kagami: You're quite the tough shopper, aren't ya?_

* * *

"Cue sudden screen change as we go to McDonald's… Okay…"

* * *

_Konata: Well guys, if looks like Miyuki-san left a nugget on her plate, so it's up to us to figure out who's gonna eat it._

Not me, I don't WANNA know what they put in their "meat."

_Konata: How about we have a staring contest and the winner gets to eat it. _

_Kagami: What? That sounds SO childish._

_Tsukasa: That sounds like fun! Come on, let's do it!_

_Konata: I think Kagami may have already won._

_Kagami: You say something?_

_Konata: So let's begin the staring contest right now! Bleh-be!_

* * *

Dimentio blinked, "Okay… Then everybody starts laughing … Okie dokie lokie?" Dimentio said, confused, "So they start to talk about reading… I'll just summarize it cause I want this to end soon. So pretty much, they talk about how our generation actually reads more often because of the internet. I agree, mainly because of the Kindle and stuff… So it turns out that Konata now has a part-time job, sudden magic change, Kagami thinking about the CompFest… I bet it's better than the Grand Galloping Gala, and Kagami imagines where she works at and HOW she got a job."

"So Tsukasa thinks Konata might have gotten a job at a book store, which results in a short sketch and Kagami hoping she doesn't get fired because she's to busy reading manga, a convenience store, which is apparently…normal-ish? Fast food place, family restaurants, and etcetera, etcetra."

"So the next day comes and we find out where Konata works…but I think I should let her explain."

* * *

_Konata: Oh, it's just your average cosplay café._

We don't have those in America… Darn it

_Tsukasa and Kagami: (thinking) Oh, that's perfect for her. _

_Kagami: Should she be working there?_

* * *

"So Lucky Channel happens…and…wait…" Dimentio's eyes widened, "Is it true?" Dimentio thought back to Phoenix Wright's confirmation trailer for Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom.

(Phoenix Wright: Miss Walters, your witness!)

(Minoru: I'm Minoru Shiraishi, Akira-sama's assistant)

"PHOENIX WRIGHT!" Dimentio exclaimed, "HOLY PINEAPPLE! PHOENIX WRIGHT IS AKIRA'S ASSISTANT!"

Akira looked at Dimentio, "Wait… That lawyer guy?"

Dimentio nodded, "Apparently he has the same voice actor…" He started to spin around, "My goodness! I'm amazed!"

Akira sighed, "Look, I could care less about my former occupation, especially because I'm getting a pay-check that I don't really deserve…which makes me actually happy. See ya later, Dimentio."

Dimentio sighed, "So pretty much, Akira acts like a jerk to Shiraishi…and is angry at the fact he was in the series."

"So yeah… Did I like this episode? A bit…but personally, I'm just excited that I'm here again. So see you guys later when I look at Midori Days!" Dimentio saluted good-bye as this episode ended, "Also... HAPPY 2ND ANNIVERSARY TO ME!"

* * *

**Pros:**

_Interesting to watch_

_Nice anime for otakus_

**Cons:**

_Konata sometimes seems sadistic…_

_Weird-screen changes_

_Final Verdict: 6.5/10. Strange, odd, and has some weird references…but what do you expect for an anime for anime watchers? _

_Lucky Star is owned by Kadokawa_

_Everything else is owned by their respective owners_

* * *

**So yeah, Phoenix Wright is voiced by Sam Riegel… Anyways, I hope you like this start and let's look forward for more updates! Especially during the month of February! Also, I'm aware that I didn't put anything at the top... WHO CARES! **


	17. My Santa Episode 1

Dimentio713, now in a Santa hat, a black t-shirt with the Lion King Musical t-shirt, and denim pants, was seen setting up some Christmas decorations, "DARN IT!" He swore as he fell off the roof, he then got up, "Oh… Hey guys… Sorry, I kinda procrastinated for most of my reviews…and I won't be able to do the Midori Days review until after December… Yeah… Anyways, I guess since I WASN'T able to do a Christmas special last year… SO I'm doing it this year! Merry Christmas!"

* * *

_**I don't care what your thinking as you turn to me**_

_**'Cause what I have in my two hands is enough to set me free (set me free)**_

_**I can fight the feelin' to resist it over time**_

_**But when it's just too much to take you sneak up from behind**_

_**Is it me? You say, you're looking for?**_

_**Let me show you who I am and what I'm here for here for**_

_**Heaaay!**_

_**Try to reach inside of me!**_

_**Try to take my energy!**_

_**Let me show you just what I'm made of**_

_**Simple curiosity, trying to take a bite of me**_

_**Let me show you just what I'm made of now...**_

* * *

_Dimentio was seen sweatdropping at seeing some random girl in a Santa outfit come from his chimney. Notably, it was very revealing too… _

**Itsudatte My Santa: Episode 1**

* * *

Dimentio looked pretty annoyed, "Okay, I just finished putting up the decorations, and I have to review an anime…" He looked at his list, "And it's called My Santa." He looked up from the cover and sighed, "Anyways, this was made by this dude called Ken Akamatsu…and has a LOT of weird things going on here…"

"Ken Akamatsu made various anime from Love Hina and Negima. So is this series anything to care for? Let's find out!"

* * *

_Narrator: I've always wondered during what phase of a person's life does he or she stop believing in Santa Claus._

I wouldn't be lying, I never really believed in Santa Claus…but I met Santa Bond when I first joined Planet Insania… Yeah, I was shocked…

_Narrator: When they're four years old? Maybe five? Or there's the other possibility…_

_(Title Screen shows and somebody says: My Santa)_

_Narrator: Perhaps when they start in elementary school, the reality of things slowly begin to unfold. They might discover the present that asked for hidden in a closet at home, or witness their own father place a present beneath the tree. Or yanked off Santa's beard. _

Wow… That's weird…

* * *

Dimentio said as he rolled his eyes. Suddenly Dimentia entered the room, "Um… Dimentio?"

Dimentio looked at Dimentia, "Yeah?"

"Look outside…" She said, pointing to the nearest window.

"What of it?" He looked outside and saw…snow? "Wait… SNOW!"

Dimentia nodded, "Yeah, it's snowing…"

Dimentio blinked, "Wait… WHAT!"

Dimentia looked outside, "I don't know why, but it just is…"

"WHAT!"

"I personally think that Fawful has something to do with this…"

"WHAT!"

"Are you done?" Dimentia deadpanned.

"WHAT!" Dimentio blinked at Dimentia who then took a no nonsense look on her face.

"Look, I'll try to find the culprit… You get back to reviewing."

Dimentio blinked, "Okay then…"

* * *

_Narrator: Perhaps that's what it's for others, but not me. No one was there for me at Christmas or any time really…_

Maybe because you got a problem with your voice actor…

_Narrator: I never met Santa, never sat on his lap and take a picture… The only present I received all year was hand delivered to me by a state employed postman. Never my Santa. Sure the cake Grandma baked was nice, but having no one to share it with was lonely, which made Christmas even lonlier… _

_Little Kid: Mama!_

_Narrator: If you're a good boy, Santa will come. That's what my parents told me as they left, they often said that if I was a good boy, they'd come back home. So I was, but nothing mattered! I was alone every Christmas, still am. The brighter the holiday candles shine, the darker the shadows that fall over me. I don't need Santa Claus anymore, Santa Claus doesn't even exist!_

But Santa Christ and Santa Bond do!

* * *

"So the video I'm watching strangely skips ahead to a random scene in a street… I wouldn't be lying if I said that I AM looking for that scene… So far, no luck… So I'm going MANGA!"

* * *

_Boy: (Takes a picture) Man, the uniform these days are awesome!_

Wait a second…

Dimentio looked at the previous panel, showing a girl's underwear…

"HOLY PINEAPPLE!"

_Boy: Which high school is that, I wonder? Could she be from a junior high school?_

_Girl notices him._

_Girl: Hey you! Wanna spend the night with me?_

_(Murmurs in the crowd as he looks at the picture he took)_

* * *

"And we get back to the anime! Oh boy, I can't WAIT to see how the voice actress handles…"

* * *

_Girl: WHAT THE HECK! Don't you lay a hand on me! _

Dimentio blinked, "Okay, I'M CONFUSED! I'm just gonna say that something happened and that's that!"

_Girl: YOU FILTHY BOY!  
_

GAH! MY EARDRUMS!

_Girl: I'm not that kinda girl! I'm Santa, the very Santa that grants dreams and give hopes to boys and girls around the world!_

* * *

Dimentio blinked as he got out his phone, "One sec…"

(In Indiana)

Steel noticed his phone was ringing, "Yeah?"

"Oh hey Steel!" Dimentio's voice rang out from his phone, "You know Santa Bond, right?"

Steel nodded, "Yeah… Why?"

"Did Santa Bond become a girl one time?" Dimentio asked him.

"…I don't know…" Steel said, confused.

(In California)

"…Okay then…" Dimentio hung up and blinked, "Back to the anime then… Also…back up a bit…" The scene started to rewind as he saw something interesting, "Wait… Is that her…underwear!" Dimentio blinked as he looked at the scene, "Why?"

* * *

_Police Officer: Excuse me Miss, but we must ask you to come with us._

Nice job disrupting the peace…

_Girl: AH! Why me? I'm Santa Claus! I'm (voice fades away)_

* * *

"WOW!" Dimentio exclaimed, "It's done!" Well see you guys L-ater!"

_**We wish you a Merry Christmas**_

_**We wish you a Merry Christmas **_

_**And a Happy New Year! **_

**Pros:**

_senecsgnimrawtraeh_

_ekafsisihi_

_Etuc_

**Cons:**

_Ecivresnafhcumoot_

_Elbirretgnicnyspil_

Itsudatee My Santa is owned by Ryu Chibi

Everything else is owned by…

(static)

"Oh… It's NOT over… What the heck!"

* * *

_Boy: What a psycho!_

Um… According to the manga, you took a picture of her… You

_Boy: I'm glad she's gone and out of my life for good…_

_Girl: HEY YOU! I know you're unhappy! Come on! It's no big seret and anyway you can't escape the long-range of my top mounted unhappiness detector!_

What?

_Girl: So tell me, why are you moping around this place all alone on Christmas Eve?_

I dunno!

_Girl: While everybody in this city celebrates the magic of the season? _

_Boy: Leave me alone. I don't own some creepy girl like you any explanations!_

_Girl: I'm not creepy!_

You have a reindeer on your shoulder, your panties were shown a lot, and you claim to be Santa… You're creepy.

_Girl: I'm Santa! It's my duty to grant dreams and give hope to all the boys and girls around the world! And I get presents to all the good children I find!_

I'm tempted to make a joke about that…

_Girl: So you should spend the night with me!_

* * *

Dimentio was seen drinking hot cocoa…and immediately spit it out, "WHAT THE!" He looked at the cocoa covered camera, "Oh… Yeah… That one line could spawn fanfiction! The risqué ones at that!"

* * *

_Girl: I promise to use my Santa Claus powers to make you happy!_

"So the boy leaves and we find out that he's trying to run away…and the girl tries to help him… Is she the new Pinkie Pie? I mean…"

Dimentio brought out a chart which had Pinkie Pie and that Santa girl, "Both appear out of nowhere, both have a strange past, and both are girls!" He looked at it for a second, "Nah."

_Boy: Give it a rest! I hate everything about Santa Claus! Why are so annoying! _

I concur…

_Girl: You don't understand! I never met anybody who hates Santa! How can you hate anything so good!_

Mustn't make stupid joke…

_Girl: It doesn't make sense! Why do you hate Christmas and Santa! _

WHY!

_Girl: PLEASE TELL ME! I HAVE TO KNOW! I HAVE TO!  
_

_Boy: Okay! It's because…I WAS BORN ON DECEMBER 24TH AND WAS GIVEN THE NAME SANTA BECAUSE OF IT! YOU HAPPY KNOW!  
_

I'm NOT happy that your reaction doesn't match your voice… Also… Your name is Santa?

* * *

Akira came into the room, "Why are you laughing?"

Dimentio kept laughing, "His name…is Santa!"

Akira started to chuckle, "SANTA!"

DAL came into a room, "Somebody actually gave a kid the name… Santa!" He said in between laughs.

Mecha started to chuckle as he watched the video, "Santa! What type of name is THAT!"

Dimentia started to laugh, "SANTA!"

Dimentio stopped laughing after awhile and sighed, "Back to the review…"

* * *

_Girl: HAHAHA! Hysterical! I can't believe you were born on Christmas Eve and was given the name SANTA!  
_

_Santa (What a joke!): That's why… That's why I hate Christmas and Santa Claus and everything else about the holly jolly season! _

Okay then… How petty? Also…why is he like that?

_Girl: Wait! Please you can't go! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to laugh at you Santa! I mean, I knew what you were going to say but it sounded so weird coming from your mouth! But no more of that! I promise to make you happy however I can, and I will care for you until you are! Please just spend this one night with me and it'll all get better!_

* * *

"So Santa rejects the girl's offer…and we get the worst scene in this series… I'll just summarize it for you. Apparently the girl can create things with the word 'san' in it…and they don't STOP SPEAKING! Thankfully, it ends. So we go to Santa's home…and NOT the North Pole…and we find out that this anime is VERY interesting… Also, the reindeer's name is Pedro"

_Santa: Ow. Everything hurts. What an awful situation. And it's all thanks to some weird girl I've never met._

Voice act! PLEASE!

_Girl: What did you say? _

_Santa: I said that the scene over the cake was an awful experience! _

_Girl: You were still very brave out there. _

_Santa: Do you have a name?_

_Mei: It's Mei. Mei the Santa Claus._

Like Sonic the Hedgehog! Also, we get fanserivce! Like in Sonic the Hedgehog, like Rouge and stuff …Oh yeah, and she's taking a shower…

_Mei: But technically, I'm still in training_

Santa has girls to deliver gifts for him? And they live in the North Pole? THEY MUST BE FREEZING! Also fanservice in 3, 2, 1…

_Mei: By the way, I know I'm charming, but that doesn't mean you can check me out. _

Added black bars to these scenes… I'm so EVIL! And keeping this T-rated.

_Santa: You're not even my type! I'm more into the supermodels. Who'd wanna gawk at your undeveloped figure?_

* * *

Dimentio blinked, "Thank you Santa. Now I know you like girls… I told you guys there's fanservice."

"Also, Mei Santa? Title name RIGHT THERE!"

_Mei: Hey watch it! I look like this now because I don't have enough magic_

HOW DOES THAT WORK!

(Linkara: It's magic! You don't HAVE to explain it!)

…Works with me!

_Mei: My real body is a (buy some apples) female Santa Claus._

Why? Also…YAY FOR UNNECSSARY CENSORING!

_Santa: Okay, leave and come back as her. _

_Mei: It's not that easy, it's getting harder because fewer and fewer people don't believe in Santa Claus these days… If someone believes in me, like you did earlier, I can have any kind of power. So Santa, even though no one else believes in Santa, you do, right? _

_Santa: Yeah, yeah, I believe in you and counting on you and all that. Ah, why is she obsessed with Santa? She's just a dumb kid who likes stuffed animals!_

HEY! PILLOW PETS ARE AWESOME! I SAW A PIKACHU ONE ONCE! Also… 3, 2, 1…

_Mei: NO! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TOUCH PEDRO! IF A STRANGER TOUCHES PEDRO HE RESPONDS BY…_

* * *

Dimentio skipped the scene, "Yeah… I couldn't catch that… Santa got a full body view… Oh boy…"

* * *

_Mei: Sorry, I told you not to peak… What I was gonna say about Pedro is that he tends to bite unfamiliar people, right Pedro? _

_Santa: Underdeveloped body, underdeveloped brain. _

Thank you… I'm still getting over the shock…

_Mei: Why do you have the lights out? It's Christmas Eve, the lights should be lit up. Where are your parents? _

_Santa: None of your business, I don't celebrate Christmas or my birthday. And I don't remember any one celebrating them with me. _

_Mei: But Santa._

_Santa: But nothing. The only thing I've ever known is that they're too busy at work to be home with me, it's the same thing every year. They're always gone. I gotta say I've gotten pretty used to being by myself all the time. To me Christmas is nothing but another day to check off the calendar. I spend it alone and go to bed like I always do. It's a non-eventful followed by a non-eventful day. _

And if it falls on Sunday… WE GO TO CHURCH! Wait… Christianity isn't a huge religion in Japan… Oh well!

_Santa: Just like every other day. I'm always alone._

* * *

"So we get a flashback and we find out that Santa's parents ARE always too busy to stay with Santa. Apparently Santa feels really angry that his parents don't spend time with him…and that he just wants them to know that it made him really angry. While showing a picture with them with little kids…" Dimentio said, "I don't know about you, but it kinda makes me wonder why AREN'T they with their little boy… Is there a reason?"

_Mei: Santa, don't you have any friends? _

_Santa: Sure I have a few, but they aren't that great. They're the kinds of friends that always want you to take their picture but never want to see the pictures you took that didn't focus on them. They just end up taking advantage of me and…_

_(Mei hugs him)_

I wouldn't be lying if I said that was cute.

_Mei: I'm so sorry Santa, I'm certain that my grandpa and the others knew of you for a long time._

That's why we didn't notice you until now!

_Mei: But for whatever reason, no one reached out to help you and you slipped through the cracks…Tonight though, I will be with you, tonight you will no longer feel lonely because I will be there._

Tonight, we shall… MAKE EVERLASTING NIGHT! MWHAHAHAHA… I've been watching too much ponies…

_Mei: But please, just promise me… THAT YOU'RE NOT GONNA DIE! _

Hey! Mei went crazy!

_Santa: I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT DYING! I SAID THAT I NEVER GOT TO SHARE A CHRISTMAS WITH ANYBODY, YOU NUTJOB!  
_

That…really sucks.

Akira entered the room, with a toolbox, "Understatement of the century." She then walked away.

Dimentio looked at Akira and then at the toolbox, "Okay…"

_Mei: Great! Then let's have a party! It can be a Christmas-slash-birthday combo party!_

And then while the night is young, we dance under the moonlight and…stuff…

_Santa: A party!_

This guy…is so monotone.

_Santa: But all the shops are probably closed by now!_

That's right! But that won't stop some chick who's related to Santa!

_Mei: Don't worry! I'll take care of everything, what ever your heart desires! I can cook a chicken, bake a cake or some cookies, tons of stuff! Your party will be a true celebration, after all that, you won't feel lonely anymore! _

Why? A party is supposed to be spent with MORE than two people, two's a couple, three's a party!

_Mei: Your blues will be swept away like the heat of summer! _

IN DECEMBER!

_Mei: Well? Let's have a party! Come on! IT'S TIME FOR SANTA'S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION! HO HO HO! HO HO HO!_

Don't say ho, ho, ho. You're ho-rrible

* * *

"So the eyecatch is Mei in a VERY revealing Santa outfit… Okay…" Dimentio said, "But that DOES mean we only have 15 minutes left! So that means… IT'S ALMOST OVER!"

* * *

_Santa: I have to admit, I'm a little embarrassed…You didn't have to go through so much trouble…_

Pul-leeze! In Filipino customs, we ALWAYS invite people to eat something! …Seriously, we do… Of course the last time I did that…

* * *

**Cutaway Gag**

Dimentio brought out a full-blown meal for Lunatic, "Here ya go Loon! We got lumpia, adobo chicken and rice, pesto pasta, blueberry ice cream, spaghetti, milk, juice and all sorts of other goodies!"

Lunatic looked at Dimentio, "Um… Thanks…but I ate before I got here…"

Dimentio laughed, "NONSENSE!" He then got out a fork and a spoon and gave them to Lunatic, "EAT UP!"

Lunatic chuckled, "Um… It's okay…"

Dimentio started to smile at Lunatic…like a maniac… Though that was highly suspect that he was. "You eat up. Now." He got out a knife and kept talking, "I made this meal… JUST. FOR. YOU." His knife getting closer to Lunatic with every word

Lunatic looked at the food before him, and then at Dimentio who was still smiling, then at the knife, it was sharp and seemed to want to pierce his very soul. He then squeaked, "Okay…"

Dimentio grinned, "PERFECT!" He gave the Insane Critic a LOT of food… Yeah, he didn't really get a lot of phone calls from Loony after that…

**End Gag**

Dimentio looked embarrassed, "I'll be honest, I didn't have a lot of sleep that night… Back to the review."

* * *

_Mei: Eat up! How is it? I made a ton of this and I can make a ton more if you want! _

Don't worry! I laced it all with poison!

_Santa: (picks some roast beef) Haha. This should be just fine! (Eats it and a laser comes from his mouth. _

Insert internet meme… Here.

_Mei: Oh great! You don't like it! Do you need me to bring you a bucket?_

Why a bucket?

_Santa: No… I'm good, just a unique flavor you've invented there…_

You know, I'm shocked that she's STILL not wearing her normal clothes. Here's some questions: One, she was just taking a shower. Two: Her clothes SHOULD be somewhere, right? Three: Is that Santa's clothes?

_Santa: Here, you try some. _

_(Mei apparently has a laser come out of her mouth too)_

No time for internet memes! MOVE FASTER POKEY! OR MY SANTA! I DON'T CARE! DOH I MISSED!

_Santa: (Starts to laugh)_

_Mei: I can't believe you tricked me Santa! _

Oh hey! PLOT! (MLP joke)

_Santa: Wow! I really love parties, don't you? _

_Mei: They're the best! _

_Santa: You're a little small for me, but at least I'm with a girl! _

_Mei: Why do you have to be so rude! I may look like this right now, but I can be a great Santa when I need to!_

Which one? The protagonist or the mythical figure… Wait a second.

* * *

Dimentio got out a chart, "So we got Santa, our protagonist, Mei, who calls herself a member of the Santa family, the REST of the Santa famliy…and Santa Claus himself. Are all the major characters in this anime called Santa?"

* * *

_Mei: Oh, but it'll be nice to have a boyfriend! _

Good luck with that, the chances you have is _i_%. That means, you probably will have to have an imaginary boyfriend.

* * *

"Anyways, we find out that Santa has a crush on someone who is apparently a senior in his class… I don't understand… Are they supposed to be in high school? So what grade is he in? He looks like a freshman to me… I dunno! I never been to a Japanese school!" Dimentio sighed as he looked at his watch, "Anyways, we get a VERY interesting line in here…and I don't know if it's in the manga… And you'll hear it soon…"

* * *

_Mai: Santa, do you know what the true meaning behind Christmas Day?_

_Santa: Yeah, of course, it's the day when Jesus Christ was born._

* * *

Dimentio blinked as he rewinded that line, over and over and over and over and over and over again. Eventually he got out a drink of water and started to drink it, and then some hot cocoa…

"Look, Jesus was ACTUALLY born in spring or something…but we celebrate his birth around this time because of the Roman Catholic. Not that I'm complaining, but…I'm a bit weirded out… Also…it's a cute line, granted…but still… Back to the anime."

* * *

_Santa: And the night before is Christmas Eve. Why'd you ask?_

_Mai: Cause there's more!_

For example, Mary accepting the role of Jesus being her son, Joseph accepting that Mary had a child from the Holy Spirit, Jesus coming to the world because we deserve Hell…but due to His grace, He gave us a chance. He is our Light.

_Mai: People are either getting gifts from Santa or going out on dates, but what they're actually celebrating is the birthdays of you and Christ._

I'll be honest, I'm not going to get used to that line…

_Mai: See all the lights of the city? Tonight they are illuminated over people who are all celebrating this special evening. These people gather and look to Jesus as a shining light, spreading hope from home to home._

And saving us from eternal damnation. …What? That's what God did. He loves us so much that He gave us His Son to die on the cross for our sins. In fact, we should've been on that cross suffering all the pain he went, 2000 years ago on Calvary. Now I'm not Catholic, but I AM a Christian, a lover of Christ. Anyways, back to the anime.

_Mai: Your only problem Santa is that you don't believe there's anyone that can see that same quality in you._

God created us in his own image. Everyone has aspects of God…but it's because of Satan that there's sin in the world.

_Santa: You think so? You know, you say the nicest things._

That's why she has a "nice" list.

(BOO!)

…Shut up…

_Santa: I wonder if you're a saint or something._

If you're talking about St. Nick… Does that mean…HOLY PINEAPPLE!

_Mai: Of course I am! I'm Santa Claus, the one who grants dreams and gives hope to boys and girls around the world!_

And least there's no panty shot in here…

_Mai: The very Santa who delivers presents to all the good children of the world! _

_Santa: Yes, yes, of course you are Mai, I know that._

It's just that you're a creepy girl who apparently thinks she's Santa. And flaunts her panties a lot.

_Mai: Are you saying you don't believe me after everything I done!_

* * *

Dimentio looked at the TV which had Mai… Well… Up close to the "camera," thankfully it only was her face.

"HOLY PINEAPPLE!" He said, falling off his chair, "My goodness… It's as if Steve came in and took my money! Also, I see you."

The aforementioned Hollow looked at Dimentio and then it was revealed that he had his presents that the young Filipino had saved for Christmas.

Steve looked at the presents he was holding, "Um… It's only a day before Christmas… I'm just getting a head start." He said, "I'm pretty embarrassed right now…"

"Out." Dimentio said, deadpan.

Steve sighed as he put the presents down.

"And I'll give you your present when we meet again!" Dimentio said.

Steve came back and placed a present that said, "From Dimentio713, To Steve." and sighed.

"Also, you can't shake it! The present is smaller on the outside!"

Dimentio looked at the presents, after awhile, he decided that Steve was gone.

"Back to the anime."

* * *

_Santa: Whoa, whoa! Back off I believe you, I do!_

_Mai: You promise, you really believe I'm Santa Claus._

I'm just an idiot!

* * *

"So Mai kisses Santa…" Dimentio sighed as he started to count down with his fingers.

(I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus)

"Thank you." Dimentio said, rolling his eyes, "Anyways, apparently she shared her happiness with Santa… Insert joke here. And we find out that the girl that Santa has a crush on apparently is calling him, her name is Miniko and apparently she's inviting Santa over which Mai…apparently doesn't like…"

* * *

_Mai: Miniko Saito, 19 years old._

It would be easier if she had access to a smartphone with a "Naughty or Nice" app… How does she know this woman anyways… Unless…

_Mai: The one senior in the school he has a crush on._

Sadly, she's outta his league.

_Mai: So, this is the girl of his dreams, huh?_

* * *

"So yeah, Mai forces Santa to hang up with Miniko and Santa… Well… He doesn't like that…and Mai loses her magic, all the while admitting she is in love with Santa." Dimentio said, "Also, apparently Miniko was Santa's biggest dream, which is mainly 'magic.' Now I know it's magic and you don't HAVE to explain it…but STILL! HOW! WHY! But who cares! It's time for…"

Suddenly, in a strange puff of smoke, Dimentio was dressed up in a game show host's outfit, "MOST! NONSENSICAL! ADMISSION OF LOVE… EVER!"

Dimentio had a wheel, "Here we have Romeo and Juliet from the classic Shakespearean play vs. Mai and Santa! It's up to the viewers to decide who it is they think is…THE MOST! NONSENSICAL! ADMISSION OF LOVE…EVER!" After awhile an envelope came rushing to him, "And now… Mai and Santa wins! Congratulations Mai and Santa! For that your prize is…" He took off his outfit, revealing his normal Christmas attire, "I continue to watch this." He deadpanned.

* * *

_Santa: I don't understand any of this! Magic? Santa?_

Guns? Purity Sword? Robot? Evil Clones?

_Santa: How does she expect for me to take any of that seriously! Santa Claus doesn't exist in this world!_

But he does in MARS! …I just realized I made a Santa Claus Conquers the Martians joke.

* * *

"So apparently, Miniko hasn't even gotten a phone call from anybody…and Santa realizes his mistake and goes back to Mai, who is by herself in the same mall she met Santa…" Dimentio sighed as he realized one thing, "I used the word 'mall' and 'Santa' in the same sentence… Back to the anime. Wait… I just realizing something… This scene… Well… WATCH!"

* * *

_Mai: (sighs) This totally sucks, not that I can do anything about it now. I gave my magic away to Santa and he ran away to give it to some senior's house._

He also found the true meaning of Christmas too! …I HAD to make that line.

_Mai: I hope he's at least happy…_

_Santa: What's a young girl doing out here all alone on Christmas Eve?_

Being a drab person.

_Santa: Your job is to make unhappy people happy again, or in other words, you're supposed to make me happy._

Must…resist…obvious…joke…

_Mai: Why are you here? What about the party! You were supposed to go over to Miniko's!_

Of course, you didn't like that…

_Mai: You're so dumb! I gave you my happiness power to help you with her! It was the perfect opportunity for you, y'know!_

_Santa: I don't deserve to have your happiness power, I couldn't believe in you even when you tried your best to convince me it was real. Because of that, I don't ever deserve any kind of joy in my life, and that's why I'm going to return your magic!_

* * *

"INCOMING FANSERVICE IN 3, 2, 1! GO!" Dimentio exclaimed as a Sailor Moon-like scene revealed itself, "Pretty much, she goes through puberty."

(Image of Spike in "Secret of my Excess" appears)

"…Not like that… That's fueled by greed. Anyways, back to the anime…"

* * *

_Mai (Now in a revealing Santa Claus outfit): Hey Santa._

_Santa: (gasps)_

_Mai: Don't you think you're being a little too pushy? You should learn to take your time._

Well that was before YOU BECAME FRIKKIN' SAILOR MOON!

_Mai: That was no way to kiss a girl._

…No snarky comment there.

_Santa: Is that really you in there Mai? Little Miss Flatchested, underdeveloped Mai?_

Oh hi unnecessary panty shot!

_Mai: That's right, the real me thanks to you, if you hadn't believed in me, then I would never regain my true figure._

Sadly though, it only stays until the end of Christmas.

_Mai: So what do you think Santa?_

Dimentio looked at camera, "I personally think that Santa is very happy." There was a sudden silence, "You know what I mean!"

"Anyways, they go on Pedro, that stuffed animal reindeer, who became a HUGE actual reindeer and fly off into the night to deliver presents to all the good children of the world! Also…and yes, you're seeing a return of quotes in parentheses!"

(Mai: HO! HO! HO!)

"STOP! STOP HURTING MY EARS! GOODNESS GRACIOUS I MADE A STUPID PUN AGAIN! Anyways, she apparently kisses the children on the cheek and then we get one of the most DUMBEST scenes in this anime! After an aesop about dreaming, y'know…FOLLOW YOUR DREAM! …Last time I did that, I ended up in the court house."

* * *

_Mai: This girl wants to be a medical doctor when she grows up, she can't stand it when those that are around her get sick. However, these children are much too poor to afford a good education, the school's too far away and the family wouldn't survive another year if the children didn't work._

_Santa: But what's going to happen to her dream?_

_Mai: Don't worry, she can't go to school, but she still has people to teach her. (motions toward a couple of familiar figures) They're news photographers, during their travels around the world snapping pictures, they stumbled onto something they couldn't ignore. Even on Christmas, they can't abandon their children for their own desires. Their work is never done._

* * *

"And guess who these people are… Santa's parents. That's right, Santa's parents are taking care of the children who can't take care of themselves…and now we get the most NONSENSICAL SCENE IN THE ENTIRE EPISODE!"

* * *

_Santa's Mom (who are CAN JUST LOOK BEHIND THEM TO SEE SANTA…and Mai): Hi Santa, how's things been going for you?_

Oh good mom! By the way, LOOK BEHIND YOU!

_Santa's Mom: I hope you have some good friends. _

Yeah mom, I'm hanging out with one of them RIGHT NOW! Look behind you!

_Santa's Mom: Baby-boy, I'm sorry, but I don't think dad and I can't make it home this year._

It's not like you're right behind me or anything.

_Santa's Mom: I know this keeps happening and I am so sorry, I love you and I'll always think of you, now you be a good boy, Santa! _

Just don't think of going out with girls who are related to the real Santa Claus, but it's not like you're behind me or anything!

_Santa: I know everything mom, you don't have to explain it to me like this anymore._

Just look behind you and I'll tell you… IN PERSON!

_Santa: It's hard not seeing you, but that doesn't mean I don't understand how you feel._

Even though it was clear that I didn't understand at first!

_Santa: You and Dad have things you need to do._

Also, LOOK BEHIND YOU!

_Santa: Important things, I know that now and I wish you both the very best of luck and even though I can't see you in person…_

But if you look behind you… YOU CAN!

_Santa (continuing): I'm always thinking of you. Always._

LOOK BEHIND YOU!

* * *

"I mean, seriously! His realization moment and that hug was heartwarming was cute! But this?"

(Big Macintosh: Eeeeeeeeeeenope.)

"Thank you Big Mac."

(Big Macintosh: Eeeeeeeeeeeeyup)

"Anyways, I gotta be honest… The fact that they were RIGHT THERE TO SPEND A CHRISTMAS DAY WITH THEIR ONE AND ONLY SON HAS GOT TO BE THE DUMBEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN! BUT…I digress. Anyways, we also find out this."

(Mai: It's time for you and me to see our star! The star that shines eternally for us! This is it! Our star! {reveals…the moon?})

"…That's…Luna's moon." Dimentio deadpanned, "Anyways, I hear the credits rolling, so let's just summarize the ending by giving you guys a skit."

**Cutaway Gag**

Dimentio was seen sighed as faceplaming, all the while…on the moon, "Can't believe Celestia made me go to the moon… How am I still breathing?"

**End Gag**

"So yeah, it just ends with Santa giving a speech and I think I see the credits. Alright, WE'RE DONE HERE!" Dimentio exclaimed, he then entered Fawful's room, "So… What's up?"

Fawful started to look embarrassed, "Um… I made a weather machine…and BKFood broke it."

BKFood started to look nervous, "Um… I was…"

Akria sighed as she started to point at BKFood, "AN IDIOT! I MEAN COME ON!"

Dimentia sighed, "Look… We're trying to take away the snow…but it keeps falling…"

"_It might not be almost spring…but…"_Dimentio grinned, "Don't worry guys! I got a plan!"

Dimentio: _**We've all got a lesson to all learn, but we gotta put it practice.**_

Dimentia: _**Whatcha talking about Dimentio? It sounds like you're sounding dumb.**_

Fawful: _**There's a glitch in the machine and we might get eternal snow…**_

Akira: _**Plus it's all BKFood's fault! I can't stand this cold!**_

Dimentio: _**We can all work this out…because we're a TEAM! So we gotta not give up now! We must fix SoCal! **_

DAL and BKFood: _**How can we help out now, we're kinda the ones to blame! WE don't have a clue!~**_

Dimentio grinned as he started to sing, once more:

Dimentio: _**Winter Wrap-up! Winter Wrap-up! Let's start our holiday cheer!**_

Dimentia grinned as she started to sing with her boyfriend:

_**Winter Wrap-up! Winter-wrap up! Cause tomorrow Christmas Day is here!**_

All of the Maskwitness Reviewers joined in:

_**CAUSE TOMMORROW CHRISTMAS DAY IS HERE!  
**_

Dimentio pointed to Fawful:

_**You keep working on that machine, your job begins!**_

Fawful: _**I'll do very best! I'll let the sunshine in!**_

Dimentio: _**Just remove the white clouds and melt the white snow! **_

Fawful and Dimentio joined in a duet as Fawful typed in more:

_**When the sun comes up, its warmth & beauty will glow! **_

_**Winter Wrap-up! Winter Wrap-up! Let's start our holiday cheer!**_

_**Winter Wrap-up! Winter-wrap up! Cause tomorrow Christmas Day is here!**_

_**Winter Wrap-up! Winter-wrap up! Cause tomorrow Christmas Day is here.**_

_**CAUSE TOMMORROW CHRISTMAS DAY IS HERE!**_

Dimentio pointed to Akira:

_**You keep giving Fawful the tools, despite the snow and ice!**_

Akira grinned as she also pointed out:

_**I'll wake up his sleepy head, not quietly and nice.**_

Dimentio sighed as he said

_**Just help him gather up his tools, maybe fix their homes and stuff!**_

Akira:_ **I'll wake him up and gather his stuff, so that plants can grow! **_

_**Winter Wrap-up! Winter Wrap-up! Let's start our holiday cheer!**_

_**Winter Wrap-up! Winter-wrap up! Cause tomorrow Christmas Day is here!**_

_**Winter Wrap-up! Winter-wrap up! Cause tomorrow Christmas Day is here.**_

Dimentia sighed:

_**But what about the ground? The snow will remain. **_

Dimentio grinned:

_**Just let the sunshine pass through, and let kiddies play.**_

_**Snow angels, snowmen, make them colorful too! **_

_**But we must work so very hard, it's just so much work to do! **_

_**Winter Wrap-up! Winter Wrap-up! Let's start our holiday cheer!**_

_**Winter Wrap-up! Winter-wrap up! Cause tomorrow Christmas Day is here!**_

_**Winter Wrap-up! Winter-wrap up! Cause tomorrow Christmas Day is here.**_

_**CAUSE TOMMORROW CHRISTMAS DAY IS HERE!**_

All the Maskwitness Reviewers grinned as they all stopped singing.

Fawful put on his glasses, once more, "GOT IT!"

Dimentio looked out as the news started to play, "The freak snowstorm has stopped, we don't know where it came from…but we do know this: It…was actually pretty fun." The newscaster said, "The snow will met eventually, so… We get a 'S'Winter.'"

Everybody laughed when the news casting ended…then Dimentio looked at DAL, "Wait… How is it your fault? I mean, BKFood is an idiot…but you?"

"Um… Let's just say it had something to do with a couple of fillys with no cutie mark." DAL explained, "And a werehog…and a vampire."

Dimentio blinked, "Okay…"

Some mysterious figure was seen, "WHAT! HOW CAN THIS BE POSSIBLE!" He was seen with a pillow pet… That was a cow…

"I GAVE THAT MACHINE TO MESS THINGS UP! HOW CAN IT BE FIXED!" He looked at his cow, "Don't worry! I SHALL TAKE OVER THE WORLD! WITH COWS! OR MY NAME ISN'T…"

* * *

**(Mai: You can't escape the long-range of my top mounted unhappiness detector!)**

**Pros:**

_Some Heartwarming Scenes_

_Doesn't take the audience as an idiot_

_Thankfully only has two episodes._

_It's an okay Christmas anime_

**Cons:**

_TOO MUCH FANSERVICE!_

_Some stupid scenes…_

_The voice acting._

_Kinda forgetable_

_Final Verdict: 5.0/10. It has its oddities, but in the end, it's not THAT bad…plus it has SOME Heartwarming moments… Though, it's NOT something to watch with the family._

_My Santa is owned by Ken Akamatsu… Yes, that one._

_My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic's Winter Wrap Up is owned by Hasbro._

_Everything else is owned by their respective owners._

* * *

**Yes! WINTER-WRAP UP! So yeah, I WAS planning a non-review Christmas Special…but I decided against it… Anyways, I REALLY enjoyed making the end of it. So yeah… Apparently, the dub is done by Funimation… Yeah. Merry Christmas everybody! **


	18. Birdy the Mighty Episode 1

Dimentio sighed, "How many times will I have to postpone the Midori Days review..." He said, massaging his temples, "Hey guys, welcome to Maskwitness Reviews, where I check it out because I... You know what, I kinda feel like it and at the same time, I DON'T! ...Welcome to Fanservice Month."

**FANSERVICE MONTH!**

"Yes people, fanservice. Fanservice is probably good...within the right hands." He groaned, "However, it's not in the right hands often. So shall we start this series with...a decent anime: Birdy the Mighty."

* * *

_**I don't care what you're thinking as you turn to me**_

_**'Cause what I have in my two hands is enough to set me free (set me free)**_

_**I can fight the feelin' to resist it over time**_

_**But when it's just too much to take you sneak up from behind**_

_**Is it me? You say, you're looking for?**_

_**Let me show you who I am and what I'm here for here for**_

_**Heaaay!**_

_**Try to reach inside of me!**_

_**Try to take my energy!**_

_**Let me show you just what I'm made of**_

_**Simple curiosity, trying to take a bite of me**_

_**Let me show you just what I'm made of now...**_

* * *

_Dimentio was seen with his sword and was pointing it at some space aliens while saying, "...You're under arrest?"_

_**Maskwitness Reviews: Birdy the Mighty**_

* * *

"...So this series is about this chick who is able to fight... All the while wearing VERY skimpy clothing. Apparently she is a space cop too... Shall we get started? So we start off in space where two space ships are facing each other...IN SPACE!"

* * *

_Apparent Helper: The target has been spotted Birdy._

_Birdy: I'm not gonna let him get away this time._

"For this month, I have a meter." Dimentio snapped his fingers and a meter appeared, "I call it the Fanservice Meter. It counts how much fanservice there is in this anime." He looked at the meter, "...Seems to have around 10% right now." Dimentio sighed, "Continue please."

_Alien: AH! We're as good as dead!_

At least you have a good voice actor... Heck, Funimation dubs this series! They are pretty good to be honest.

_Alien: We can't take a Federation agent in this old piece of junk!_

Be happy that you're not being chased by Samus Aran... And if it was Gumshoe...

_Another Alien: I've had enough of your whining already! I'll tell you one more time, shake her off and get us out of here!_

If you get caught, you might get a good space lawyer. Imagine, Ace Attorney...IN SPACE!

_Hungry Alien: Geega, I can't take much more of this, I'm starving!_

Which is why you should have gotten through the drive-thru! Much easier and WAY more efficient! But NO, you had to go to take out... You also skipped Space McDonalds.

**(BOO!)**

Come on! I'm milking the space stuff in this series for what its worth!

_Hungry Alien: You mind if I eat this guy?_

**Fanservice Meter: 0%**

Well... He is driving your ship. But can't you drive it yourselves? Oh well, it's SPACE!

_Geega: Just a little longer, Sebastian. (I seriously don't know this guy said...) Once we land, you can do what ever you want with him! _

_(The driver seems to be scared)_

Don't worry, if you get eaten... You'll die! ...That's not helping, is it? Also, the apparent helper is named Tute.

_Tute: They're heading this way Birdy._

You might want to fight them...and we also see eye balls open to create lasers.

**Fanservice Meter: 11%**

* * *

Dimentio's eyes opened, "That. Was. EPIC!" He then kicked something, "Heck yeah!"

(Birdy's ship dodges all the lasers.)

"SPACE!" Dimentio exclaimed once more.

(Space Core: Space, gotta go to space, SPACE!)

* * *

_Birdy: (Pineapple)! Now I'm (Fluttershy: Yay.) _

I know, I'm THAT strange! I'm replacing swear words! With pineapple! And pony clips! And random stuff!

(Yoshi!)

(Jigglypuff)

(Pika!)

Many more to come!

* * *

"So there's more space scenes."

(Space Core: SPAAAAACE!)

Dimentio got out a hammer, "SHUT UP!" There was silence, "Thank you. Anyways the girl gets on the spaceship and..." Dimentio blinked.

(Birdy punches the spaceship with her bare-fists)

"What?" Dimentio said, confused, "...Am I on something?"

Akira walked by, "Don't worry, remember, BKFood's room is far from the review room."

Dimentio nodded, "Yeah... Right."

* * *

_Alien: The agent's broken into the ship! _

_Geega: What! _

That is why we should have went through Space McDonald's! The people at Space Fancy are annoyed! THEY TOOK YOUR MONEY!

_Alien: Here she is! _

Doomed! Doomed! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!

_Birdy: Why'd you make me go through all this trouble?_

**Fanservice Meter: 12% **

She does have a good voice actor

_Birdy: You know I'm going to have to take you in, right? (Walks into the light and apparently her cleavage is showing)_

**Fanservice Meter: 13%**

_Birdy: You ignored a Federation Officer's Order to stop and resisted arrest by firing at me!_

Don't break the law!

_Birdy: Hope you like spending the next fifty years in jail!_

Earth years or space years?

* * *

"That's the thing about this series. I'm never sure how long 'years' are in space. I mean, can't they be on a fast-moving planetoid?" Dimentio stayed silent for a couple of minutes, "...Okay, no-"

(Space Core: SPACE!)

"...Pineapple. Anyways, why are saying years? I mean, is the Federation...that bad?" Dimentio asked, "...They are probably jerks. Plus it's like 200 years or something for some prisoners..."

* * *

_Birdy: Hey, where the (SPACE!)_

HOW'D YOU GET HERE!

_Birdy (countined): is Geega?_

Off the ship? Anyways...

**Fanservice Meter: 14%**

Lot's of skin from this chick.

* * *

"So she grabs the alien by their collar and it turns out that Geega and his henchman escaped. Also, I'm surpised there was no Gainaxing that moment. I mean, there was half..." Dimentio shrugged, "So the criminals escape and..."

(Birdy kicks something and it gets crushed)

"...(Buy Some Apples)." Dimentio plainly said, "Also we get REALLY good opening credits... I mean, it's so...uplifting. HAPPY! Great! Good! Great!"

(Awesome! Outstanding! AMA-)

There was a brieft explosion as Dimentio snapped his fingers, "Shut up. Anyways, we find out the episode's title."

(One Plus One)

"EQUALS TWO!" Dimentio exclaimed, "One minus one? Zero. One divided by one? One! One times one? One! One divided by zero? We're screwed. Anyways, we get a...a..." Dimentio's mouth was agape.

"A...a..."

(This girl is posing for a photo shoot)

"...Mama mia."

**Fanservice Meter: 25%**

"Apparently, this chick is called Shion Arita and she's apparently a model." Dimentio sighed, "Can we go to space? I mean, she's just in a 'space suit.' Not really a space suit at all too... More like a space bikini"

* * *

_Blue-haired guy: Okay, I guess it's time to call it a day Yamamoto!_

Yeah... Listen, I want some space battles, not THIS!

_Don't know who this guy's name is...but I think his name is Yamamoto: What a great shoot! Thanks again, Samatoru._

_(Blue-haired guy dances)_

My goodness, this guy's SO camp!

_Blue-haired guy: You know you're my favorite photographer to work with! (Gives the photographer an air kiss)_

**Fanservice Meter: 0%**

WHY ARE WE ON EARTH!

_Yamamoto: I was just wondering, you and Shion wanna join us for lunch?_

_Blue-haired guy who seems to be...gay: Oh that sounds divine, but how about we go alone? Just the two of us?_

He. Isn't. Into. You. PLEASE! WHAT THE HECK! SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HECK!

_Yamamoto: Thanks for the invitation, but I'll pass!_

Please, run out of the building and CALL THE POLICE!

_Shion: Sorry to keep you waiting! _

Thank you for interrupting such an uplifting opening sequence! What is wrong with you!

_Blue-haired guy with strange tendencies: Good work today Shion! _

_Shion: Thanks!_

Please, go.

_Shion (bows): And thank you for my pictures!_

**Fanservice Meter: 5%**

_Yamaoto: It was my pleasure and you were awesome!_

Um... What's with the guy with the afro? What is he doing here?

_Blue-haired guy...you get the idea: We'll see you guys soon! Ciao!_

_Afro Guy: Oh man! It was on really late, but everyone loved her last television appearance._

Ten bucks that it's because of certain...things...

_Yamaoto: It was pretty brilliant, wasn't it? Her air-headed alien character was amazing!_

_Afro Guy: The internet fanboys sure ate it up. (Pictures of her are seen)_

**Fanservice Meter: 23%**

* * *

"Pretty much we find out that she's pretty popular and we also find out that Shion is...hungry." Dimentio sighed, "And we go to some...pervs. Apparently, they have the hots for Shion Aritia. Also, we meet an average guy. His name?"

* * *

_Guy #(Make up a number!): Hey Senkawa! (opens up the magazine) What do you think? Isn't she the hottest thing you've ever seen!_

No. Stop pressuring him. I don't think she's into girls who wear revealing outfits, it gets annoying quickly.

Dimentia, her belly button being covered now, walked by as Dimentio said this and looked at him, "...My boyfriend tells the truth." She walked away.

Dimentio blinked, "Okay..."

_Senkawa: She's okay._

He's truthful at least.

_Glasses wearing guy who I wanted you to make a number for: Why do you gotta to be so emo? _

There's a difference between emo and not interested in girls in revealing outfits.

_Glasses wearing guy: Check it out, she's Shion Arita, she's only the sexiest model in the world dude! She's total hot right?_

As long as her personality is good... I could be interested.

_Senkawa: You know I'm not into that stuff._

Can we please go away from these two guys? They're BORING!

_Glasses wearing guy: You are are a man, you have eyes don'tcha? _

Yes, yes... and please go away.

_Senkawa: But she looks older than my sister..._

_Glasses wearing guy: You dumb(PIKACHU!) When it comes to smoking hot chicks, age doesn't mean anything! _

All cause these guys pester him about a woman that's really hot apparently... I'm annoyed

_Girl: Huh? So this is what you're into..._

_Senkawa: Hey! _

_Girl: Wow, finally hitting puberty... These pictures get you all worked up? Oh, and this is that bimbo that does that stupid alien character! _

Foreshadowing, foreshadowing, foreshadowing!

_Glasses-wearing guy: Blasphemy! Her character is not stupid Hiyamiya!_

* * *

"The irony in this scene is that she's just WALKING past them!" Dimentio explained, "..You know, I feel sorry for these guys. A FAMOUS person is just WALKING past them! ...I'd ask for an autograph." Dimentio looked at a piece of paper, "AND SELL IT FOR MONEY!"

"Anyways it turns out that the alien we saw in the beginning? And that space chick? They're on Earth...and Shion Arita is actually BIRDY!" Dimentio blinked, "...And the gay guy? He's the robot."

"Not to mention they think Earth is in the boonies." Dimentio sighed, "We have ancient samurai sealed swords, a crazy man who wants a rebirth of chaos, evil clones, characters that have retconned existing, and a dimensional magician in this planet... It doesn't suck THAT bad... Rather, it really brings me to tears that our planet can get invaded by aliens. And we also see a character called Urma... Who. Looks. Freaky."

* * *

_Urma: Anything you'd like to add, Birdy?_

Zoinks! She's odd.

_Urma: What a disappointment, that's not way to talk about a person who's gone out of their way to help you. Is it? (Closes up looks at Birdy...or the camera.)_

Eep.

_Urma: You do realize that I'm very highly regarded among the members of the Federation, you need to learn some manners, and while we're under the same roof, you'll refrain from using the phrase "wrinkly old hag!" Ya got it! _

Aw pineapple with a pink-haired girl with a gun and a bullet for her Valentine.

_Urma: Where's the money? Tute, you were paid this afternoon, right?_

* * *

"So Urma acts kinda like a jerk and she gives them a hint to the person they've been hunting down..."

(Tute: Empire Television?)

"So yeah, Giga is apparently Geega. NO! I thought he was DAN GREEN! So Giga's trying to find this item called the Rynka...or something spelled like that...or something to do with science and we finally see Birdy do some midnight espionage._"_

* * *

**Fanservice Meter: 31%**

_Birdy: So Tute, where's Geega?_

_Tute: He's leaving the restaurant right now, looks like a car is coming around to pick him up._

"So Birdy goes after Geega and do these boots make an awesome noise... I WANT ONE!"

**Electronic Fanservice Meter: 100%**

"Then...she falls and doesn't die, but rather totals a car... Poor Yakuza." Dimentio sighed, "You know, I feel really sorry for them now. Their car got destroyed."

_Senkawa: Exploring this abandoned building is gonna so awesome. I can't believe... Masakubo and Hazawa (Who I believe are those two guys) aren't even here yet! _

Ditched you, ditched you... They ditched you!

_Senkaway: Huh who's texting me?_

_Text: Sorry! There's an event in Akihabara tomorrow, so Hazawa and I are going to wait in line all night! Go ahead and explore the ruined hotel by yourself._

_Senkawa: They're bailing on me! Oh well, it's their loss._

Too bad, seems like they are too obsessed with their otaku stuff... Wait... There was a massacre there... Creepy...

_Hiyamiya: Are you running away or something?_

_Senkawa: Oh! Hey Hiyamiya! _

My goodness, your voice actor is SO high-pitched!

_Hiyamiya: What the (It's-a me, Mario!) are you doing out here so late in night Senkawa?_

_Senkawa: What does it matter to you?  
_

She might have a crush on you. BAM!

_Hiyamiya: Would you just answer me?_

* * *

"So yeah, Senkawa is exploring a run-down hotel... Actually, there's a lot of those in Japan, I should know, in an article in Nintendo Power about this game where the world ended... The people creating it actually drawed inspiration from the run-down, old, almost ruin-like areas...and her butt is REALLY big... Well, not creepily big...but bigger than Senkawa."

* * *

**Fanservice Meter: 1%**

_Hiyamia: Geez, this place stinks! And everything's so dirty!_

PLEASE GO! I CAN TAKE SO MUCH A COMPLAINIG AND WHINING!

_Senkawa: Cool, huh?_

_Hiyamia: Yeah, what's so cool about a creepy old building?_

_Senkawa: It's hard to explain, but an abandoned building is like a dying person to me._

Senkawa, you went from interesting...to creepy.

_Hiyamia: What are you talking about?_

Please, explain your freaky obsession with horror!

_Senkawa: You see, when something's discarded by people, it starts to crumble and fade. Like it's passing away, does that make sense?_

Creepy, creepy, you're creepy!~

_Hiyamiya: Uh... No.  
_

_Geega: What are you kids doing here!_

"So Geega sees the teenagers and wants them to get out... Makes SOME sense, I mean, it's their property! So we see Tute and Shion Arita coming to Geega...and..."

_Shion: Hi there! How are you?_

_Geega: Sorry, but do I know you?_

_Shion: Aw, I can't believe you don't remember me! _

**Fanserivce Meter: 9%**

_Shion: Nobody could possibly forget a pretty face like mine, right Geega? _

_(Geega shocked)_

_Shion: You're not gonna get away from me this time!_

EPIC THEME TIME!

**Fanservice Meter: 35%**

YES! This IS AWESOME! A FIGHT SCENE! ...I just realize what I implied...

* * *

"So a fight scene occurs and Birdy just says THIS cool line."

({After punching a robot} Birdy: Well, that just added five years to your sentence.)

"She just said it so cooly and calmly... She is REALLY cool!" Dimentio exclaimed, "Problem is that she has a bit of a bad attitude. Anyways, Geega transforms to his true shape..."

(Birdy: That's gross)

"Eep." Dimentio plainly stated, "Well, it's not as bad as GHIRAHIM! ...His campiness gives me nightmares! "

* * *

_Tute: Birdy, his body has reverted to its original form._

_Birdy: Huh, fine by me, it just makes things more interesting at least_

MORE FIGHTY!

_Geega: I always wanted to take down a Federation Officer! (Spits out lava)_

* * *

"Okay, they fight and we get this strange line...and Tute's disguise gets destroyed and Birdy skates ON THE FLOOR! WITH HER BOOTS!"

(Tute: That's a Pentacle Blade, careful it can penetrate your body armor.)

"What armor? She's not wearing much." Dimentio stated, "So fights Geega off and they enter the same floor as the Senkawa and Hiyamiya."

_Birdy: What the (Careful, it can penetrate your body armor)! (Snopping as usual I see!)_

No need for cursing, ma'am

"Geega uses Senkawa as a projectile and Birdy...um...kills him. WHAT THE HECK!" Dimentio sighed, "Well, the show's ended! Bye now!"

(Alarm clock beeps)

"Never mind... Wait... Senkawa can see perfectly now... What? He NEEDS glasses!"

(Senkawa: What the (buy some apples!)

"Wait... An advertisement is playing...for Soul Calibur 5... This is why I have glasses." Dimentio explained, "...When I take them off, I see the bosses from Skyward Sword...or I can't see a thing, weird stuff man! So Senkawa's parents are leaving from the house for like six months or something and Hiyamiya and Senkawa chat amongst themselves."

* * *

_Hiyamiya: Wait, your parents are moving away?_

_Senkawa: Uh-huh, but only for six months._

Poor him, he's all by himself... If I was home-alone... I'd probably play Skyward Sword EVERY DAY!

_Senkawa: My sister's gonna check up on me, it's weird, I had the craziest dream last night, I wonder what it means_

It means that you are now co-inhabitating a body with an alien...

_Hiyamiya: I know, me too! Hey, what happened to your glasses Senkawa?_

_Senkawa: Uh... I don't know how, but my eyesight's perfect all of the sudden._

_Hiyamiya: And you expect me to believe that._

Trust me people would believe anything these days. Heck, I told people that I was on TV! ...My four minutes of fame!

* * *

"So there's an alien experiment concerning the Rynka...or however you spell it... And we get a bit of a nightmare-ish scene..."

(Senkawa: Guess I'm gonna be alone from now on.)

(Birdy: Think again kid!)

"So Senkawa is in Birdy's body and..."

**Fanservice Meter: 30%**

"EXCUSE ME! As I was saying, Senkawa is...slightly confused as to WHY THE HECK HE'S IN THE BODY OF A CHICK! And that's where the episode ends! So, was this series bad? Not really. It's actually pretty okay! It's not good, but it's not as bad for a fanservice anime! Well, what's up next?"

Re: Cutie Honey

"Okay... Eep."

* * *

**(Tute: Careful, it can penetrate your body armor)**

**Pros: **

_Not as bad as I would have thought..._

_GREAT fight scenes!_

_Fanservice doesn't get in the way_

**Cons:**

_Some voice actors aren't THAT amazing._

_The animation looks kinda floppy_

_Birdy's kinda mean..._

_Final Verdict: 6.8/10. It's pretty good. The fight scenes are AMAZING! For the first installment of Fanservice Month, it's better than most! _

_Birdy the Mighty is owned by A-1 Pictures_

_Everything Else is owned by their respective owners._

* * *

**FINALLY! I was FINALLY able to finish this! Well, I guess that's all from me! ...I'm not looking forward to the final installment of this month though.**


	19. Black Rock Shooter OVA April Fools

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I HAVE LARGE YOSHI!

©H34p, 3!tH3r w4¥, !'m p4!d 4 fl4t f33 fr0m tH3 pr0du©t!0ñ ©0mp4ñ¥ $0 wH0 Kñ0w$ H0w mu©H m0ñ3¥ tH0$3 gu¥$ 4r3 $K!mm!ñg 0v3r tH3 t0p0ur H3r0, l4d!3$ 4ñd g3ñtl3m3ñ! $4r©4$t!© t33ñ4g3 H4$b33ñ !d0l wH0 4©t$ l!K3 4 d3m0ñ!"$0 ¥34H tH!$ 4ñ!m3 !$ñ't r34ll¥ g00d, !ñ m¥ 0p!ñ!0ñ but tH!$ 3p!$0d3 !$ tH3 f!r$t 0ñ3! ! ©4ñ't r4t3 !t ju$t b¥ tH3 f!r$t 0ñ3! b3$!d3$, lu©K¥ ©H4ññ3l !$ pr3tt¥ !ñt3r3$t!ñg w3ll, tH!$ H4$ b33ñ m4$Kw!tñ3$$ R3v!3w$! $33 ¥4 l4t3r!pr0$:ñ!m4t!0ñ l00K$ ©4rt00ñ¥ ! l!K3 !tf!r$t 3p!$0d3lu©K¥ ©H4ññ3l!©0ñ$:ñ0 pl0tb0r!ñgH4$ ñ0 l!ñ34r $t0r¥l!ñ3tH3 ©0ñ$ 4r3 uñd3r$t4ñd4bl3 b3©4u$3 tH!$ !$ 4 $l!©3 0f l!f3 4ñ!m3$0 d!d ¥0u gu¥$ l!K3 tH!$? b3 $ur3 t0 r3v!3w! 0H 4ñd f¥!, p!ñ34ppl3 w!ll ©0mm0ñl¥ r3pl4©3 $w34r w0rd$... ! d0ñ't $w34r... 4t 4ll!

* * *

**...You know what's ironic? If you can READ this... Best if you figure it out for yourself...**

**Also, APRIL FOOLS!**

**...Also guys, the real reviews will come shortly!**

**...That's not an April Fools.**


	20. Re: Cutie Honey Episode 2 P1

Dimentio groaned as he walked into the room, "Oy vey..." He sighed as he sat down on his desk. "Hello and welcome to Maskwitness Reviews, where I check it out because I feel like it. Today, we'll look at an anime called, Re: Cutie Honey."

"Re: Cutie Honey is a retelling of the original Cutie Honey which has a long history. You see, this series practically INVENETED the Magical Girl genre. While Sailor Moon enforced most of the cliches we see most Magical Girl series, you know the transformation sequence and all that other stuff, Cutie Honey started it all."

"You see, in 70s, this guy named 'Go Nagi' decided to create some character called Cutie Honey. She became famous, he got money and this series also created 'fanservice.' So I can blame THIS for my pain. So today, we shall look at the more recent series of Cutie Honey. Re: Cutie Honey. Is it good? Highly doubt it. Also, make note that I haven't been able to find the first episode of this series, so I must review the SECOND one. And to be honest, I prefer THIS episode!" Dimentio was silent for a few monents until he said, "Is the opening cred-"

* * *

_**I don't care what you're thinking as you turn to me**_

_**'Cause what I have in my two hands is enough to set me free (set me free)**_

_**I can fight the feelin' to resist it over time**_

_**But when it's just too much to take you sneak up from behind**_

_**Is it me? You say, you're looking for?**_

_**Let me show you who I am and what I'm here for here for**_

_**Heaaay!**_

_**Try to reach inside of me!**_

_**Try to take my energy!**_

_**Let me show you just what I'm made of**_

_**Simple curiosity, trying to take a bite of me**_

_**Let me show you just what I'm made of now...**_

* * *

_Dimentio was seen putting on his mask, he was saying, "Sometimes, I'm a monkey with a mask, other times, I'm a bespectacled Filipino teenager with a sword. At times, I look like a blind lawyer obsessed with coffee. Heck, I even cross-dress as a young Japanese schoolgirl and a warrior from another place, and I also dress like a Vocaloid. But in all reality, I'm Dimentio713. Maskwitness Reviewer."_

_**Maskwitness Reviews: Re:Cutie Honey OVA Episode 2 (Part 1)**_

* * *

"Also, before we start. Let's review the last part of the OVA."

(Clips play)

"From my memory, Cutie Honey reveals herself...in more ways than one, the police headquarters in Tokyo have been destroyed due to a huge fight. Our main protagonists are: Honey Kisagri, or Cutie Honey, Natsuko Aki, our main protagonist's foil and also a cop, and finally, we have Seiji Hayami. No relation to Seiji from Evangelion and there were we have our characters. They fight against this organization called Panther Claw. Recently, one of the main leaders, Gold Claw, has died and Cutie Honey is able to defeat those jerks. Also, we have a scene where Natsuko walks through the bullets of the goons... Not mention, Honey gave the nickname 'Na-chan' to Natsuko." Dimentio stated, "Also, Honey is an android created by her father because the real one died. I think I got everything."

"So...let's start!"

(Re: Cutie Honey Theme plays)

"The theme, to be fair, is EXTREMELY catchy. I mean, seriously, this a GREAT theme! I personally like the beat to it. Not the lyrics though...but I barely know what they're saying. And for once, I'm NOT reviewing an English dub, rather a English sub. And it ends with THIS line.

(Honey: I'm going to transform)

"You forced my hand Honey!"

(Transformers, robots in disguise!)

"So we begin...in a (Fluttershy: Yay) Club."

Dimentio looked around, "What? I'm not that type of person. Anyways, it gets interrupted by..."

* * *

_(Cutie Honey appears)_

I'll be honest. Her clothes cover up too little!

_Host: What is this? We don't do cosplay here!_

However, you let guys see girls in...certain outfits. Like they're barely wearing any clothes... Suddenly, I'm regretting my choice of anime to review.

* * *

"Anyways, say hello to the foe Cutie Honey is facing. One of the Panther Claw...Cobalt Claw apparently... So I asked one of my friends in Japan to say if she's ever heard of Cutie Honey. Her response?" Dimentio got his laptrop, "This."

**...Dude, really? To be honest, you're kinda weirding me out. **

Dimentio started to massage his head, "Yeah... After that, we didn't chat for awhile... Of course, when she DID come back, she seemed to be slightly more stressed out than usual. Weird, huh? Anyways, Cobalt wants Cutie Honey to fight her. Why? Dunno. So she causes destruction throughout the place."

* * *

_Host: My... my club!_

* * *

Dimentio once more massaged his head, "...They're doing the world a favor. I'll be honest, I'm sick and tired of all these over the top sexual things! It's annoying! It's NOT funny! It's not hot either! I mean, sure it's okay to have a crush on someone...but it's annoying to see that most men only look at their body! NOT their personality! Another thing! WOMEN! BE STRONGER THAN THIS! Don't be a person who likes to take off their clothes for the only reason is to get men's ATTENTION!"

Dimentia walked by and looked at the camera, "My boyfriend speaks the truth." She walked away.

Dimentio sighed, "Back to the anime..."

* * *

_(Explosions happen across Tokyo)_

Goody, we're ripping off the Powerpuff Girl's idea of the powers destroying the city...and causing mass chaos. ...I blame Discord.

_Cutie Honey: Why don't you give yourself up?_

Yes... Heck, let Panther Claw give themselves up! Let ME live in peace!

_Cobalt Claw: How wonderful! _

Um...

_Cobalt Claw: When you fight, you're so beautiful!_

* * *

Dimentio blinked, "Oh pineapples... I'm having relapses of Ghirahim."

**(Cutaway Gag)**

Dimentio was playing Skyward Sword. Right now, he was in the Fire Sanctuary.

"Gee... I wonder who the boss is for this dungeon." Dimentio said to himself as he went inside. And he saw Ghirahim, "Okay, this guy... I was able to fight him before." He watched the cutscene and saw Ghirahim appear behind Link...when he teleported in front of him, "...Did he just go...in between Link's legs? EW! EW! BAD TOUCH!"

Ghirahim then stuck his tongue out, "BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH!" Dimentio exclaimed.

"So come close Dimentio! Meet me in battle, and the thread of fate that binds us will be soaked with your **blood**!" Ghirahim said in-game.

Dimentio, on the other hand, was blinking, "Okay... Debbie... I...can... Eep."

**(End Gag)**

"...Still having bad memories..." Dimentio shook.

* * *

_Cobalt Claw: I get excited when people chase me like this._

* * *

Dimentio blinked, "That tears it."

(French Narrator: Thirty minutes later)

Dimentio was seen with a towel on his head, "...Cobalt Claw. You FREAK ME OUT!"

* * *

_Honey: If you're admiring me, thanks..._

GAH! STOP IT! YOU'RE NEARBY A WEIRDO!

_Cobalt Claw: I don't need your lip service._

...Thank you... I needed THAT comment from a possible pedo!

_Cobalt Claw: I'm going to take every last bit of you!_

...That too.

* * *

"So they fight."

(Fluttershy: Woo-hoo)

Dimentio sighed, "I'd probably enjoy this more if both of the participants didn't look like they're in a (PINEAPPLES!) club... Yes people, I DON'T like those things! Anyways, we get this scene."

* * *

_Natsuko: You two!_

Introducing our foil for Cutie Honey! ...If only you were interesting.

_Natsuko: Put down your weapons and come out quietly._

...Oh yeah, this series MIGHT have some Ho Yay-esque scenes.

_Honey: Look Na-chan's angry again. Let's stop. _

Yes, let's stop fighting. PEACE ALL AROUND!

_Cobalt Claw: You mustn't say such weak words Honey-san._

You know, Honey's ONLY trying to help her friend. Also, Cobalt Claw? You're one of the most DISTURBING CHARACTERS!

* * *

"So yeah... This anime has SO much (I HAVE LARGE YOSHI) undertones... HONESTLY! CAN'T I GET AN ANIME LIKE BLACK ROCK SHOOTER! OR REVIEW ONE LIKE THAT! Anyways, as per usual, we have ANOTHER sexual line... Your Mileage May Vary though."

(Cobalt Claw: Accessories are a woman's true weapon)

"...So much WRONGNESS can go with that line! Anyways Cobalt Claw's 'accessories' are apparently these things on her head and they have caught Honey. Also we see our male lead who'll do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING OTHER THAN TALK ABOUT OBVIOUS THINGS!"

(Seiji: Tokyo will be trashed)

"Eh, don't worry about if Tokyo will be trashed. After, Godzilla ALWAYS destroys that city anyways! In fact, it's better if you go to Mitakihara. That way, you guys can TRULY see what you guys created! Witches! Just go on a trip with Sailor Moon too... Anyways, as it turns out the fight between Cobalt Claw and Honey HAS in fact made Japan...well...crap."

* * *

_Natsuko: What's that?_

An explosion. What? Never heard of it? You see an explosion is a rapid increase in volume and release of energy in an extreme manner, usually with the generation of high temperatures and the release of gases. Thank you Wikipedia.

_Seiji: Up there!_

OH MY GOODNESS! IS IT SUPERMAN?

* * *

(Shows a cute little girl, and some weird monsters {Seriously, that's what I can explain them as!})

"...What." Dimentio said with a blank look on his face, "Seriously, what! WHY DO THESE MONSTERS HAVE EXPLOSIVES ON THEIR BRESTS! WHAT THE HECK! SERIOUSLY!"

_Cute Girl: Next, blow up the right side over there with a bang! _

I. Have. Standards. I. Will. Not. Make. A. STUPID JOKE!

* * *

_Zooka (This creature with green skin and a giant bazooka in her crotch {...I...I...I don't know.}) Zooka! I'm shooting, Zooka._

* * *

"WHAT THE (Groose: From now on, we'll call it Grooseland!) IS WITH THE DESIGNS HERE! SERIOUSLY! WHAT THE (Homura: With kindness comes naïveté. Courage becomes foolhardiness. And dedication has no reward. If you can't accept any of that, you are not fit to be a magical girl.)!"

"So... The Panther Claw organization starts to blow stuff up because why not. And...um... There's guys in this organization full of woman who have things in place of what they should have... I think they're guys at least. Seriously WHAT THE (Link: Am I late?)"

Dimentio took a deep, deep, very deep breath, "...I can't top that. Anyways, back to the anime..." Dimentio mouthed three words.

* * *

___Natsuko: Another weirdo..._

YES! ANOTHER WEIRDO! WHAT THE HECK! SERIOUSLY WHO MADE THIS!

___Seiji: This is too much for the police._

PLEASE! JUST GET A FREAKING MAGICAL GIRL DO THAT! A KAMPFER, A MAHOU SHOUJO! DR. FREAKING INSANO! SOMEPONY HELP!Oh wait, we have Honey... Who is doing battle with another Panther Claw character... Godzilla? Can please come here? Please?

___Policeman 1: Shall we call the Self Defense Force_

___Natsuko: Idiot! Don't just stare... hurry up and go! _

___Policeman 1: Go where?_

___Natsuko: Go arrest her! _

YES! ARREST THE FREAKING HOMOCIDAL MANIACS! SONIC 06's PLOT MAKES MORE SENSE THAN THIS! ...Okay, I'm just exaggerating...

___Policeman 1: No way!_

Just get Ouendan... They can help...

* * *

"You know, I have that pose she's doing, it's like she's doing the OBJECTION pose. ...What I would give to be playing Phoenix Wright instead of watching this crud."

"So Colbalt Claw is still squeezing the life out of Honey...and acts like a sadist. I can be sadistic...but not to this extent. Also, she says this!"

(Cobalt Claw: I'll send you to ecstasy this time.)

"You know what? I'm not surprised anymore. Do I need to do the freaking review anymore? Do I? Yes. Why? You're all sadistic jerks."

(Cobalt Claw: It's okay for you to scream)

There was a silence. And that's when Dimentio got up from his review desk and said, "...I'm taking a break."

**(One hour later)**

"...Talked to my friend that apparently lives in Japan... She wishes me luck. THANK YOU! Anyways, Cobalt shocks Honey..."

* * *

___Cobalt Claw: You shouldn't resist Honey-san._

THAT TEARS IT! NO MORE INNUENDOS! PLEASE!

* * *

"Anyways, Natusko does a hit-and-run. THE POLICE FORCE EVERYBODY! Granted, there's no 'run' involved, but the idea is still there."

* * *

___Honey: Na-chan! You saved me?_

___Natsuko: Idiot! Why are you struggling against that kind of opponent!_

Well... DUH! Lighting shocks and whatnot!

___Cobalt Claw: What I want send flying is my ____**soul. **____Nobody asked you to send my ____**body**____ flying._

Body, soul... WHO FREAKING CARES! THE FASTER THIS ANIME IS DONE THE FASTER I CAN GET BACK TO PLAYING SKYWARD FREAKING SWORD!

* * *

"So Natsuko is trying to Cobalt Claw... Cobalt Claw dodges said attacks and Seiji attempts hit-and-run. Our heroes everybody! Trying to kill other people... Granted the Panther Claw organization is a whole bunch of creatures who look weird. But still... What the heck. Unfortunately, Seiji misses. Also, we get this line from Cobalt Claw."

(Cobalt Claw: I hate men even more!)

"Yes, we established that you swing the other way. Please. Shut up. Die. Nothing homosexual people, BUT this chick is making you guys... Look like you just want their bodies. Nothing against you guys."

* * *

___Cobalt Claw: Also, I face one opponent at a time_

Clearly... I got nothing else to say to this.

___Cobalt Claw: I won't forgive those who interfere, no matter who they are!_

___Honey: Na-chan!_

* * *

"So... WE FINALLY GET A TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE! Eight minutes into the second episode this anime... We finally get one. Also it's called Honey Flash! GEE! I THINK THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT NAME!"

Akira walked in the room, "Because there's a bright light?"

Dimentio, in an odd fit of rage, "NO! IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S FLASHING PEOPLE!"

Akira looked at Dimentio blankly, "Calm. Down."

Dimentio sighed, "This anime's getting to me... Anyways, it turns out that Honey can have a knight-like outfit. Of course, it's revealing! So I guess Cobalt Claw is dying and she gets saved by that little girl. Anyways, Honey says this gem."

(Honey: Another weirdo!)

"Calling the kettle black much? So that little girl's name is Scarlet Claw. The Panther Claw organization has no originality! Anyways..."

* * *

___Scarlet Claw: I'm already done with my business. _

IN THE BATHROOM! ...What?

___Scarlet Claw: But I thought Jill-sama might be sad if I returned without helping you. Even though it doesn't seem like it, Jill-sama really likes Cobalt._

I'm sure Jill-sama REALLY likes Cobalt...

* * *

"BTW, Jill-sama or 'Sister Jill' is the main villain of this anime. She wants to do stuff. What stuff? I'm not sure. Most likely evil stuff Also, Cobalt Claw says this."

(Cobalt Claw: "The harder the battle, the more pleasure victory brings" is what they say)

"Stop... Just...just stop. I'm sick of you already."

"So the two bad guys leave and Scarlet Claw uses her umbrella as a distraction." Dimentio said, "Anyways, we get the 'inner angst' of this series. Apparently, each episode of the OVA has a moment for Cutie Honey to learn to be human. First was she learned about friendship, this one is about if she's a real boy. Okay, she's a girl, but still no big difference. So it turns out that the war against Panther Claw has caused a lot of damage. So Natusko says this to Cutie Honey."

* * *

___Natsuko: I'm telling you to keep in mind where you're fighting. Even in television hero series, the battles are in deserted mountains or construction sites, right?_

They're ALSO in a different dimension where flowers have mustaches, Eldritch Abominations run rampant, another world, and also...in the woods.

___Honey: Really?_

Is she supposed to be the Idiot Hero of the series?

___Natsuko: Jeez. At least think about how much trouble you're causing others. _

Yes, think about the other people.

___Honey: But..._

___Natusko: No buts!_

* * *

Dimentio took a deep breath, "Too late for that."

(BOO!)

"SHUT UP! ...DAL..."

DAL came into the room, "Sup?"

"Can you please get the Boos out of here. PLEASE!"

DAL shrugged, "Okay._" _

"Anyways, Seiji tries to help the arguing main leads, but Natsko threatens to take Honey in. So we get this scene."

* * *

___Natsuko: What exactly is Panther Claw's goal? I don't think this destruction is meaningless._

Well... I think Jill wants to learn to be a real boy, Scarlet Claw wants to have "fun," and Cobalt Claw wants to do Cutie Honey.

___Policeman 1: I wonder..._

* * *

"I think that they want to mock Honey by calling her 'Honey Baka.' Trivial? So the bad guys talk... Also, I forgot to mention, there were FOUR leaders of the Panther Claw Organization. Gold Claw died in the last episode, Scarlet and Cobalt Claw are still alive and Black Claw... I think he...or she wants to make Sister Jill happy. Also... You'll see."

"So Scarlet Claw is VERY manipulative... Trying to demean Cobalt Claw and thinking what Sister Jill wants... Who replies with a smile."

(Joker: Let's put a smile on that face!)

"So there's a news report and Honey's co-workers talk about the fact that Honey is becoming a nuisance. Heck, her boss, the guy at that club believes so too... Despite him enjoying watching about her last episode. Check it out if you don't believe me. The males in this series are USELESS! So this old lady who is often called 'Grannie' and Honey have a talk."

* * *

___Grannie: Ah, destroyed quite splendidly. There'll probably be more cleaning to do because of all that._

So... You think you can take on that mess... Old people are cool, like Granny Smith... Actually, now that I think about it. GO AHEAD GRANNIE! CLEAN THAT MESS UP! MESS THAT MESS UP BY CLEANING IT!

___Honey: Granny._

I'm just gonna stick to spelling it like Grannie.

___Grannie: Oh my, I'm always thinking about work._

Why?

___Honey: It really is a problem. _

Ask DAL, he's a multi-purpose robot!

___Honey: It must be tough for you._

___Grannie: Nope. This is nothing. _

The whole city is freaking destroyed and THAT IS NOTHING! MY GOODNESS! YOU'RE AWESOME OLD LADY! EPIC!

___Grannie: I'm feeling very motivated right now._

* * *

"So they continue to talk and well... Honey says she's made a friend. Heartbreak coming to an anime near you in... I'd say... Some time..."

"So Natsuko tries to defend Honey's situation with the law and well... She gets cornered by her bosses. And not to mention, Seiji's been listening to their conversation... Is he gonna try to be awesome... Cause that WOULD be awesome!

* * *

_Seiji: My, my. I guess they're planning to just watch, since it's out of their hands. The State's authority is pathetic._

Much like America.

_Seiji: But... (Looks at the newspaper that's talking about Honey in a negative light) this disturbance won't be subdued like this._

Like what? Wait... Are you for real?

* * *

"So people keep talking about Honey. Panther Claw apparently wants to spread bad rumors about Honey. Can't blame them. It makes sense, THEY'RE THE BAD GUYS! ...Wait, why are they listening to the VILLAINS! The people who are trying to destroy the town? There's a difference between collateral damage and damage done on PURPOSE! If it's like Spiderman, the media is talking smack on him. Plus, let's note this... Despite the fact that she's new to this whole saving the world thing, it's not THAT bad. She's trying protect your sorry butts! Anyways, Honey's thinking..."

(Honey: Nuisances... eh?)

"It's mainly Panther Claw's fault though... Though in terms, Honey IS a vigilante..."

* * *

___Honey: Ah! Welcome home, Na-chan! Welcome home!_

What are you living with her now? If you are... Good for you!

___Honey: Come in, come in._

Oh my goodness... Honey's planning something... Something...BIG!

___Natsuko: Hey..._

LOOK! THE HO-YAY!

___Honey: Over here! _

* * *

"So I guess Honey's inviting Natsuko for dinner." Dimentio said, looking at the food, "Oh my goodness... If there wasn't stupid music... I'd love this."

(Honey: I thought I'd eat this with you when you got home Na-chan!)

Dimentio was still drooling, "...I. Love. Food." He said in a monotone voice, "...Anyways, I'd like to note something... Honey's normal wear...is VERY revealing. Heck, her outfits are ALL revealing! Even the ones she has for work. Why? This anime was made in Gainax... Let's hope there's no mind screwy ending, shall we?"

"So instead of enjoying the delicious meal prepared by Honey... Natsuko only stares at Honey... Also we get this gem."

(Honey: Or how about some beer)

"Yes, 'Beer' beer. Never tasted it. I don't drink alcohol. So Natsuko says this too..."

(Natsuko: I'm sorry)

"What was that?"

(Natsuko: I'm sorry, but I already ate)

"So Natsuko tells Honey they are not friends. They are nothing. Cruel much? I mean, it's one thing to say one's nobody to retract somebody's attempt at friendship? Don't get me wrong, I've done that before...but I kept it to myself."

___Honey: But, you saved me didn't you! Or...were you really trying to somehow take care of the both of us back then?_

* * *

Dimentio, in an oddly believable female voice said, "Well... If I say yes... Will you kill me?"

* * *

___Honey: Am I really a nuisance?_

* * *

Dimentio smiled, "You're not a nuisance. Go Nagai is... Okay, so he's NOT but still Gainax... WAY TO MUCH FANSERVICE! So I'm blaming YOU GUYS!"

* * *

___Honey: ANSWER ME! _

___Natsuko: You just might..._

Ouch

___Natusko: be one._

Double ouch.

* * *

"So Scarlet Claw starts her plan which is...to kidnap woman... Once more, I asked my friend what would happen if she was kidnapped. Her response?"

**I'm a strong woman dude.**

"I'll take her word for it. Anyways, Panther Claw attacks... Not to mention, they attack traffic! Seriously, there's this guy on the motorcycle who gets attacked... Should've been playing a Children's Card Game."

* * *

___Cobalt Claw: What kind of ruckus is it this time?_

No.

___Scarlet Claw: I'm sorry about yesterday. For saying stuff to embarrass you in front of Jill-sama._

Shut up.

___Cobalt Claw: I wasn't really embarrassed._

Shut up, I had just gone to a shower.

___Scarlet Claw: Acting strong again? But Scarlet's really regretting it. So I thought I'd call out Cobalt's favorite Honey-chan._

Please. Shut up.

___Cobalt Claw: Honey-san?_

___Scarlet Claw: You'll win this time, won't you?_

She. Is. Too. Moe.

___Cobalt Claw: Of course!_

* * *

"So it turns out that Seiji apparently is watching Honey and telling it to a person on the phone. Okay, spoilers... It's George W. Bush. Why? I think he's a researcher...spy...person involved in the government... Anyways, I'd like to point out that there's these tiny policemen who look all the same and like a chibi. I call them Minions..."

"So Panther Claw SOMEHOW has stopped all technology going to Tokyo. You see, that's why Mitakihara is better... No it isn't. Back to the anime. Apparently, Panther Claw is attempting to do anti-Cutie Honey propaganda. Why? Don't know. And Scarlet Claw starts to sing the Cutie Honey theme song. What? Is this anti-Cutie Honey propaganda? Cause...I'm all for it."

"So they're in Shibuya, a district of Japan. Yes, I AM doing my research. So Policeman 2 asks this."

* * *

___Policeman 2: What's with her disgusting manner of speaking?_

She's trying to be cute. Moe. She's failing miserably.

___Natsuko: Aren't you thinking she's cute._

No. No. Not really.

___Natsuko: What a stupid woman._

Yes she is. Yes she is.

_Scarlet Claw: But...can't Honey transform into anybody? So, we don't know who Honey-chan is._

* * *

"STOP! I'm sorry, but I NEED a break. Tune in hopefully tomorrow as I finish this episode. I need break!" Dimentio got up and walked away, but not until he saw something shocking. Dimentia was fighting a robot that look like a cow.

"DIMENTIA!" Dimentio ran over to Dimentia, "You okay?"

Dimentia ducked under one of the attacks, "Yeah. I'm guessing you took a break from Cutie Honey? Don't blame you." She dodged an attack and summoned the demonic hands, "Mind giving me a hand?"

Dimentio smirked, "HECK YEAH!" He summoned his sword and charged at the cow-bot. He simply lifted it up and threw it on the wall, "Dimentia!"

Dimentia smirked, "GOT IT!" She caught the cow-bot in with her psychic abilities and bounced it around. Finally, she threw it outside the window, "Too easy!'

Dimentio smirked, "Yeah, so shall we grab it and let DAL look over it?"

Dimentia shrugged, "Meh, why not?"

The couple went outside...and saw a message.

Dimentio looked at Dimentia, "...We've got a problem."

* * *

**THE START OF A NEW ARC! ...This one will be short...and slightly more funnier. So I NEEDED this break for Cutie Honey, it's really getting to me and I NEED this break. See you guys later for part 2 of Re: Cutie Honey.**


	21. Re: Cutie Honey Episode 2 P2

_Previously on Maskwitness Reviews_

* * *

Dimentio groaned as he walked into the room, "Oy vey..." He sighed as he sat down on his desk. "Hello and welcome to Maskwitness Reviews, where I check it out because I feel like it. Today, we'll look at an anime called, Re: Cutie Honey."

* * *

Akira was walking around, "...Once you eliminate the impossible..."

"Only one truth remains." Fawful noted.

* * *

Dimentio ran into the room, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING DIMENTIA!"

Dimentia was crying, "I AM A GOD!" She said as she started up...something.

"NO!"

* * *

Mecha was seen eating at a Pho restaurant, "Waiter, check please!"

* * *

"WHAT THE (Groose: From now on, we'll call it Grooseland!) IS WITH THE DESIGNS HERE! SERIOUSLY! WHAT THE (Homura: With kindness comes naïveté. Courage becomes foolhardiness. And dedication has no reward. If you can't accept any of that, you are not fit to be a magical girl.)!"

* * *

"EUREKA!" Akira exclaimed.

Fawful ran to his girlfriend, "What did you find?"

"...This." She grabbed something underneath the couch, "...What is this?"

"...I don't know." Fawful admitted.

* * *

Dimentio looked at the thing, "No." He said as he collapsed on his knees. "Discord."

* * *

Mecha gave the waiter his credit card and nodded, "Thank you!" He said, leaving a tip and taking his credit card back.

* * *

_And now the thrilling... SCREW THAT! PLAY THE REAL CLIP!"_

* * *

Dimentio looked at Dimentia, "...We've got a problem."_  
_

_NOW the thrilling conclusion can come! _

* * *

_**I don't care what your thinking as you turn to me**_

_**'Cause what I have in my two hands is enough to set me free (set me free)**_

_**I can fight the feelin' to resist it over time**_

_**But when it's just too much to take you sneak up from behind**_

_**Is it me? You say, you're looking for?**_

_**Let me show you who I am and what I'm here for here for**_

_**Heaaay!**_

_**Try to reach inside of me!**_

_**Try to take my energy!**_

_**Let me show you just what I'm made of**_

_**Simple curiosity, trying to take a bite of me**_

_**Let me show you just what I'm made of now...**_

* * *

_Dimentio was currently dressed up like a Puella Magi and was currently in the process of fighting Scarlet Claw._

_**Maskwitness Reviews: Re:Cutie Honey OVA Episode 2 (Part 2)**_

* * *

Dimentia looked at the remains cow-bot, "Mwhahaha..." She said, reading the message, "You may have destroyed my cow-bot, but that's only the first of them, now witness your doom from the hands of Dr. Dimsano..." She stopped reading and sighed, "What type of name is 'Dimsano'?" She asked Dimentio.

"I REALLY don't know..." Dimentio admitted, "We need to look for more evidence about Dimsano. Get DAL to check on it."

Dimentia looked at Dimentio, "What are you going to do?" Dimentia asked her boyfriend, "Review the last part of the anime?"

Dimentio smiled, "Yup!"

Dimentia sighed, "You're HOPELESS!" She exclaimed going back inside the house with Dimentio, "...Just get to the review."

Dimentio sat down in the review room, "Love you too!" Dimentio said, "Anyways, a recap of what happened last time. Panther Claw is planning something and I'm NOT in the mood to look at this anime ANYMORE! But hey, at least it's ALMOST DONE!"

* * *

_[Continuing from **Maskwitness Reviews: Re:Cutie Honey OVA Episode 2 (Part 1)]**_

_Scarlet Claw: So, we thought we had no choice but to kill everybody who resembles her._

Murder is ALWAYS the answer!

_(Captured girls scream)_

OH NO! I'm going to die! Wait... What!

_Scarlet Claw: Well, if you can't find Honey-chan, we'll have to increase the search area._

Blackmail? Well these ARE the bad guys, but honestly... Did you HAVE to capture EVERY SINGLE GIRL! HONESTLY! WHAT IF SHE IS A TRANSVESTITE? Not that she IS, but still WHAT?

_Policeman 2: If they don't find her, they're going to capture and kill all the women in Japan... No, I mean the world!_

Aren't ya putting this a little out of context dude? Why the ENTIRE WORLD! You expect them to have BOATS! Just a note, Kremhild Gretchen THREATENS the world, Panther Claw? THEY ARE JUST A BUNCH OF WEIRDOS! IDIOT!

_Policeman 1: They've really done it this time!_

NO THEY DIDN'T THEY DON'T KNOW IF HONEY IS A GIRL! Most likely she IS, but STILL! As we later find out, this will all be for naught! WHAT THE HECK!

_Scarlet Claw: I really don't want to do this._

WHAT DO YOU MEAN! YOU GUYS ARE EVIL! THAT'S IT! I'M GETTING RID OF MY ANTI-CUTIE HONEY PROPAGANDA RIGHT NOW!

_Scarlet Claw: But isn't Honey-chan **very **strong?_

Yes, but still!

* * *

"Also, I'd like to make not of this guy in this section, WHAT IS WITH THAT DESIGN! ...Okay, FINE IT'S A CALLBACK BUT STILL WHAT!" Dimentio exclaimed, "HOW INSANE IS THIS ANIME! VERY I BET!"

* * *

_Scarlet Claw: We can't help it since we're scared._

FOR THE LAST TIME! THESE ARE VILLAINS! DON'T LISTEN TO HER!

_Scarlet Claw: So don't think poorly of us, okay?_

YEAH! WELL...GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!

_Natsuko: They're saying that whatever happens, it's Honey's fault, huh?_

Um... Yes...

_Policeman 2: Do they think they can can convince people with such illogical reason?_

According to this... YES!

_Natsuko: It's not reasoning, it's an image._

* * *

"So Natsuko notes that they are USING the image of Honey being a villain while trying to help themselves! PEOPLE! THINK! Apparently, if my memory serves correct, Cutie Honey STOPPED the Panther Claw organization before! She HELPED the people! So the people are DUMB! I know people will ALWAYS jump to conclusions...but THAT'S THE DUMBEST THING EVER!"

* * *

_Natusko: This type of woman (Shadow: THIS IS WHO I AM!) me off the most!_

* * *

"Apparently, Sister Jill ENJOYS watching this... Also, we get an appearance from 'Black Claw'. He...or she wants attention from Sister Jill. I'd like to note that in the movie's English dub... He was voiced by..."

There was a silence...followed by two words... Two famous words.

"DAN GREEN! ...For the remainder of this review... I'm nicknaming him...her... DAN GREEN!"

* * *

_Dan Green: Are you trying to soothe your cold heart with such nonsense, Jill-sama?_

If you imagine him being voiced by Dan Green... It's 20% cooler!

_Butler: Black-sama, that is inappropriate..._

It's Dan Freakin' Green... Granted I doubt any American dubbing company would WANT to touch this anime with a 10 foot pole...but still... It's DAN GREEN!

_Dan Green: Our omnipotent queen who gave birth to us and commands us, Sister Jill_

BETRAY HER DAN GREEN! FIGHT HONEY IN A CHILDREN'S CARD GAME! ..That would be awesome!

_Dan Green: If you wish to take over everything in this world, all you have to do is command...me, Black Claw._

Just get the brony population... They've already taken over the world... Heck just buy out Wal-Mart, McDonalds, and Starbucks... Best way to take over the world to be honest.

_Dan Green: If it is your command, Jill-sama, I will plunge this world,_

With your godly voice, you've already plunged this world... Wait, this is the Japanese dub...which is voiced by a woman... NOT COOL!

_Dan Green: into scarlet red blood and utter darkness._

LIKE EVERY SINGLE VILLAIN EVER!

_Dan Green: And there you can create your country, Panther Claw's thousand year kingdom._

No relation to the Thousand Year Door I take it? ...Also why only a thousand? YOU COULD HAVE AN OVER 9000 YEAR KINGDOM! ...Why sell yourself short?

_Dan Green: For that goal, I am always prepared to lay down my life._

I got nothing here..

_Dan Green: Even if I'm split in two, I will never betray you._

* * *

"The reason for this line is because in the last part of the OVA... Dan Green, or Black Claw, gets split in half. Granted this ISN'T a kid's anime...but still, kinda dark."

"Anyways, Sister Jill tells Dan Green to, put in only a few words, 'Shut up'. So we end THAT scene and we get treated to a scene in the helicopter! ...Okay... So Cobalt Claw sends out her tentacles to destroy said helicopter. Also, Cobalt Claw says this."

(Cobalt Claw: Are you not going to show up after all of this, Honey-san?)

"Listen lady, why don't you just hunt her down? No need to THREATEN SOMEBODY ELSE'S LIFE! GOOD GRIEF! ...Seed."

"So there's some insane people that are looking for Honey, big surprise, and they have completely gone by 'mob justice'. They grab ALL the young women around. Well, what do you expect when you've been manipulated by some cute girl... So Seiji arrives and says this."

* * *

_Seiji: Are you okay, Na-chan?_

_Natsuko: What are...you doing?_

Riding a motorcycle... If only there were card games involved...

_Seiji: Get on._

* * *

"Remember kids, when you are faced with two choices, one choice being crazed men, and the other being a mysterious man on a motorcycle... You could choose either one. So Natsuko starts to question Seiji about the men. Of course, her first question is..."

(Natusko: Are they from Panther Claw?)

"Natsuko... I'm sorry, but Panther Claw looks like this."

(Shows the picture of the weird monsters in Panther Claw... Along with the normal mooks)

"...If they were HIRED from Panther Claw, that would make more sense... So I got nothing...but still, WHY WOULD PEOPLE BE THIS STUPID!"

"So the two talk about why Honey's not here and we see Honey...in the shower. So, unfortunately, Seiji sees Honey first...and gets a nosebleed for his troubles, also a punch from the lovely Natsuko. So we've got a naïve chick with great 'assets', a rough and tough policewoman, and a perverted reporter... Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen!"

* * *

_Natsuko: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!_

CALM DOWN LADY! SHE'S JUST TAKING A SHOWER! Most likely a shower of ANGST, but still a shower.

_Honey: Huh?_

_Seiji: You really don't know anything?_

_Honey: Eh?_

* * *

"So the trio looks out into the distance to see the destroyed city. And Natsuko asks Honey if she was troubled by what she said. In a 'Stepford Smile'-esque reaction, she tells Natsuko she was just tired, despite us seeing that she was hugging her pillow just a couple of minutes ago. Seriously, is Honey lying about suffering, or is she not? As we find out, yes she IS lying, but people who are watching the second episode for the first time will not know that!"

"So their attention goes to a woman's scream."

_Woman: STOP IT! I'M NOT HONEY!_

_Idiotic Guy: I don't care!_

_Dumb Guy: Shut the (Rainbow Dash always dresses in style) up!_

_Honey: Stop it!_

Stop your...dumbess and idioticness! THERE'S THE TRUE HONEY!

_Honey: She's innocent! I am... I'm Cutie Honey!_

"Let's see huge tracts of land, a transformation sequence, a theme song, and stuff... And, oh great THIS scene! You see, last episode apparently, one of Panther Claw's M.O. is that they can be perverted..."

_Scarlet Claw: You look like Honey-chan._

_Honey's co-worker: I'm not! Don't treat me like that cosplay woman!_

So...then... Scarlet Claw, you're going to show you're just evil.

_Scarlet Claw: Liar. I can tell even if you've transformed. (FREAKING STRIPS HER!)_

Yeah, they're evil. No need to note THAT. Honestly! SCARLET CLAW!

* * *

"Finally, Honey comes to their aid and tells them to let the women go... While Gainaxing... You know, Gainax DID make this anime! Also Cobalt Claw Gaiaxes too... PLEASE DON'T HAVE A SCREWY ENDING! So the two of them duke it out and we find out that Cobalt Claw can twist her body anyway possible. Any. Way. Possible. Yeah, take that AS FAR AS YOU WANT! JUST TAKE IT FAR AWAY FROM HERE! So Cobalt Claw uses her tentacles to catch Honey and she says this."

(Cobalt Claw: What's wrong, Honey-san? Make me burn up even more!)

"...You know what, you're going to hear something you'd never expect me to say... SHUT THE-"

(Static)

Mecha appeared, "Sup."

(Static)

"I mean, what the-"

(Static)

Mecha was looking at the 3DS, "You know, Minish Cap is actually pretty fun... Along with WarioWare."

(Static)

"...I'm good. I'm good." Dimentio said.

* * *

_Natsuko: What are you doing, Honey?_

_Seiji: Strange, she's not her usual self._

Taking your advice to heart I presume.

_Natsuko: Honey! Fight!_

_Honey: Na...chan?_

_Natsuko: Who's the person who said only she can fight._

* * *

"I actually like this scene. It pretty much shows that with enough support, one CAN do anything. I'm guessing it's because Honey wants to fight smart. Which is only making me hate Panther Claw even MORE! I mean, SERIOUSLY! WHAT THE HECK! Normally, I LOVE to hate villains. Like Ghirahim, Fawful, Bowser, there's a LOT of villains I enjoy. Not Panther Claw! So Honey uses..."

_**(Honey: Honey Mirage)**_

"And thus Cobalt Claw says this line."

(Cobalt Claw: Honey-san is flashing everywhere...does this mean I can't catch her.)

"Well, she always DOES flash people... However, before she can land the finishing blow... Scarlet Claw reveals her... Chronic Backstabbing Disorder. Okay, she just back stabs Cobalt Claw...and making me hate Scarlet Claw EVEN MORE! I mean HONESTLY! I HATE SCARLET CLAW!"

* * *

_Cobalt Claw: Scarlet, what are you..._

_Scarlet: You see, Cobalt... I'll tell you now... You (Buy some Apples!) me off _**_a lot._**

* * *

Dimentio got out a chart, "This my friends, is the my Love to Hate Villain chart."

The Love to Hate Villain chart apparently started at Dimentio from Super Paper Mario, then Damon Gant from Ace Attorney, then Bowser, then Ghirahim from Skyward Sword, to Malladus from Spirit Tracks, to Hitler, to Kristoph Gavin, and finally at Kyubey from Madoka Magica.

"They range from quirky enough for me to like them, boring enough for me to not care, I hate them, I hate them more, I WANT TO STAB THAT GUY IN THE FREAKING FACE! ...Hitler is in the I Hate Them Section. Scarlet Claw? You're in between Hitler and Kristoph Gavin. If I hate you more than Hitler, you KNOW that means I HATE YOU! ...IN FACT, YOU'RE ON PAR WITH DAHLIA HAWTHORNE!"

* * *

_Cobalt Claw: You've always hated me!_

_Scarlet Claw (in a sickeningly cute voice) Yes, but I've gone through the trouble of making you die for Jill-sama, so even I have a sweet side._

No. You're on par with FREAKING DAHLIA HAWTHORNE! I MEAN YOU'VE STRIPPED A DEFENSELESS WOMAN, MANIPULATED EVERYBODY IN JAPAN AND DESTROYED A PART OF TOKYO, NOT TO MENTION YOU'RE GOING TO KILL TWO PEOPLE OFF! WHAT THE (BUY SOME APPLES!)

_Cobalt Claw: I won't forgive you!_

_Cobalt Claw: I won't forgive you, Scarlet!_

I hate Scarlet Claw.

_Scarlet Claw: That's no good! Direct that hatred toward Honey-chan, since you'll be the medium connected Jill-sama and Honey-chan with love._

You know what, I'm not calling her Scarlet Claw anymore... SHE'S BEING CALLED DAHLIA HAWTHRONE!

_Cobalt Claw: You (Pineapple)!_

* * *

"So Dahila KILLS Cobalt Claw and is trying to make Honey become one with Sister Jill..."

* * *

_Natsuko: What's...going on?_

_Seiji: If plastic DNA is altered because of the Induction System, the resulting condition is an Imaginary Format._

What?

_Seiji: It was in Dr. Kisagari's research paper, but I never thought..._

_Natsuko: Explain it so I can understand._

ME TOO!

_Seiji: Honey's heart is being eaten by Jill, who is controlling the nanomachines._

OH! Wait, so they're all robots?

_Natsuko: It can't be..._

* * *

"So back at the Panther Claw base, Dan Green and the butler are watching Sister Jill being happy... And Dan Green can't believe it. Back with Honey, she is seeing Sister Jill over her, watching her, wanting her. Of course, Honey breaks the connection... Sadly, it seems to have made Honey...go crazy. As Seiji explains...Honey seems to have multiplied and is fighting...and sadly only knows HOW to fight."

* * *

_Scarlet Claw: What's this? This is fun._

MORE THE REASON TO HATE YOU!

_Natsuko: Stop, Honey! (Points gun at her)_

_Seiji: Out of the way._

"So it turns out that Seiji knows more than he's letting on...and is going to destroy Honey, why? He can't let an android go out of control. So he speaks cryptically and we get this scene."

_Natsuko: Honey, I'm sorry. I lied to you. When I said you were a nuisance, that was a lie!_

And as we all know, lying is bad.

_Natsuko: I promise to eat with you next time! I promise to eat all the food you make._

* * *

"Understandably, this is supposed to be an emotional scene...and it kinda is. After all, Natsuko wants Honey to go back to the way she was. And she saids this."

(Natsuko: After all, we're friends, aren't we?)

"AND THAT WORKS! THAT'S A GREAT LINE! ...I like it. It really shows the character in this whole fanservice fest... I guess it helps a bit...but still, I have to admit. You'll be seeing something REALLY strange soon."

"Anyways, the duplicates disappear and Seiji acts all stupid, while admitting the truth. Thus getting a punch in the face for his troubles... Anyways, we get...this scene..."

(Natsuko...um...strips down ad lies down on Honey)

Dimentio's eyes started to widen. Mecha came into the room.

"Hey Dimentio, whatcha`" Mecha looked at the TV screen, "Whoa."

Fawful came into the room, "Hey guys! What's-" He looked at the screen too, "Whoa."

DAL came into the room, "Okay, I'm still checking up on that-" He looked at the screen, "Wow."

While the two guys and the two robots were watching the scene... They were interrupted by a certain Tsundere, "Hey guys!" Dimentia exclaimed, "Whatcha..." She looked at the screen and back to Dimentio, Mecha, Fawful, and DAL.

"...That's it. MIND SNAP!" She exclaimed, making all the guys in the room faint, "...Honestly, boys!" She looked at the screen and then at the camera, "This is supposed to be a heartwarming scene...but I think it's also supposed too... Just watch it yourself."

**(Five minutes later)**

Dimentio woke up, "HOLY PINEAPPLE!" He looked around, "Oh..." Dimentio looked at Dimentia, standing in the doorway, "Um..."

"Don't. Say. A. Thing." Dimentia said, "I forgave you, but still."

"...Hehe... Sorry..." Dimentio looked at the bodies around him, "Um, Dimentia, do you mind?"

Dimentia grinned, "Of course!" She said, getting the people out, "Hey, once you're done, be sure to check out the progress DAL's done. He woke up earlier than you... Well, he IS a robot."

Dimentio nodded, "Okay." He looked to the camera, "Anyways, Honey wakes up and...they still don't have any clothes on... Um..."

(Honey: Thanks Na-chan, your heart reached mine.)

"Um..." Dimentio was silent, "...I got nothing. So Seiji apparently got them food. What? Did Panther Claw just ignore him? It's like..."

* * *

**Cutaway Gag**

Dimentio was seen walking the streets and Mecha, dressed like one of Panther Claw's mooks, stopped him, "Who are you. Tell me, or I'll shoot."

Dimentio pulled out a gun, "Screw you!" And he shoot Mecha.

**End Gag**

* * *

"Actually, since Seiji knows more than he lets on, I'll take that as a yes." Dimentio shrugged, "So Seiji acts like a perv and Honey starts to eat. Seiji tells Natsuko that he has anti-nanomachines and we get more strange lines."

* * *

_Seiji: Power of love, huh?_

It can beat a LOT of things, let me tell you that.

_Seiji: The weak electric signal that flows through the human body, probably had an effect on the nanomachines, and restored Honey's vital system...is what I think, but..._

The power of love...literally.

_Natsuko: But what..._

_Seiji: That's why it's love. I mean the heart._

I guess this counts as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming... Despite two bodies not wearing clothes being on top of each other...

_Natsuko: The heart..._

_Seiji: I wonder if the mental state had a strong effect._

Maybe it did, maybe it didn't.

* * *

"So the two talk about Honey's heart...and we see the MOST ANNOYING CHARACTER IN THIS FREAKING ANIME."

(Scarlet Claw: You still haven't found Honey-chan?)

"...I hate you... Also, WHAT IS WITH THOSE MONSTERS! ARE THOSE GAGS! CAUSE IT MAKES ME WANNA GAG!"

"So Scarlet Claw is planning to send the girls she captured to Sister Jill...which people who were SANE would listen too! HONESTLY! LISTEN TO THEIR EVIL PLANS! So anyways, Honey appears and we get her catchphrase."

* * *

_Honey: Star in the heavens! Flower on the earth! Love to the people! Warrior of love, Cutie Honey!_

* * *

"Sadly, I enjoy Madoka's catchphrase...which is this."

(Madoka: If someone says it's wrong to hope, I will tell them that they're wrong every time. I could tell them that countless times!)

"...It's 20% better. Anyways, Scarlet Claw apparently breaks the fourth wall here..."

(Scarlet Claw: It's scripted that we have to ask her, even if we already know...)

"Sadly, Madoka seems to be BETTER! I'm sorry, but there's something about depressed characters becoming hope that appeals to me. ...I LOVE PUELLA MAGI MADOKA MAGICA!"

* * *

_Scarlet Claw: But I'm happy that you showed up, Honey-chan, I was about to get bored._

I AM bored. That tears it after this, I'm watching Madoka Magica!

_Honey: I won't give you a chance to be bored._

That. Was. Cosmic.

_**Honey: Honey Typhoon!**_

Calling out your attacks much?

* * *

"So the monsters try to attack Honey, but she beats them up. Trying to lead them to a place where it won't get damaged. Looks like Honey is growing, huh? So Honey takes on the Panther Claw monsters and now she has to fight Scarlet Claw... Let's see this play out, shall we?"

* * *

_Scarlet Claw: How dare you embarrass me!_

Yeah, too late for that.

_Scarlet Claw: I won't...(Honey runs) forgive you! (Shoots beam)_

_Honey: Enough acting strong! **Lighting Lancer!**_

...Did she just make the beam into a lance? Dang!

_Honey: This is the end! (Stabs Scarlet Claw)_

GO HONEY!

* * *

"So Honey defeats Scarlet Claw despite her trying to get to her heart...and Scarlet Claw fails, the women are missing, and Dan Green is planning something EVIL! So there's this HUGE thing that apparently Sister Jill is in...and thus this episode ends."

Dimentio got up, "First of all, the reason I did the second episode instead of the first is because when I was first typing the first part, the first episode, on YouTube to be more precise, was missing the first part of the first episode. It came back as I HAVE checked, but it was too late. Anyways, I think I...I... This anime isn't THAT great." Dimentio admitted.

"I like the heartwarming scenes, yes, but the whole anime has a LOT more fanservice than necessary. There's nudity and you can see the naughty bits through the clothes... It's like Gainax KNEW men would see this... So they added it in... It's really annoying and it tears away from the story... If you watched the first episode, it'll probably help. So leave it in a review or PM if you have watched this anime. That way, I'll know. Well, this has been Maskwitness Reviews and I'll see you guys..."

There was a noise.

Dimentio ran into DAL's room, "DAL!" Dimentio exclaimed as he looked behind him and summoned his sword. "Who are you?" Dimentio asked.

"I'M DR. DIMSANO!" A figure appeared from the darkness, with a laser gun, Insano googles, and we looked just like Dimentio713 in a lab coat, "AND I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD! USING COWS!"

"...What." Dimentio said, deadpan.

"COWS!" Dimsano exclaimed.

"I heard you the first time." Dimentio told the Insano, "But WHAT!"

"YOU DOUBT ME!" Dimsano exclaimed, his gun pointing dangerously at Dimentio, "You're treading on very thin ice here Dimentio713!"

Dimentio summoned his sword, "I can beat you in ten seconds flat!"

Dimsano laughed, "HA! YOU WON'T BEAT ME!"

**(Ten seconds later)**

Dimentio looked at Dimsano, who was beaten up and tossed aside.

"...Wow ...DAL!"

Dimsano laughed, "HA! YOU DON'T KNOW A THING!" Dimsano said getting up, "THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING!" Dimsano threw a ball on the ground, clouding Dimentio713's vision.

"ACK!" Dimentio cleared the fog, revealing Dimentia on the ground.

"Ah man..." She looked up, "Dimentio?"

Dimentio helped Dimentia up, "Yeah, that's weird... Did you see..."

Dimentia nodded, "Dimsano." She said, "It's strange... Who IS Dimsano?" She asked.

Dimentio shrugged, "Probably the 'Insano' version of me... Like Rooksano...but even MORE dumb..."

Dimentia looked at Dimentio, "Guy was able to beat me." Dimentia told her boyfriend.

Dimentio backed away, "WHAT!" He said.

He was shocked, not even HE could defeat Dimentia on his best day! What was going on! How did Dimsano beat Dimentia, but Dimentio be able to defeat Dimsano?

Dimentia sighed, "This is bad... We need to find out who Dimsano is..."

Dimentio nodded, "Alright, let's go."

* * *

**(Honey: Star in the heavens! Flower on the earth! Love to the people! Warrior of love, Cutie Honey!)**

**Pros:**

_Actually has an interesting story _

_Heartwarming areas._

**Cons:**

_Too much fanservice..._

_Scarlet Claw is EVIL! _

_Final Verdict: 4.1/10. I think the fanservice didn't help this anime. The fanservice is TOO noticeable... I kinda didn't like that..._

_Cutie Honey is owned by Go Nagai_

_Everything Else is owned by their respective owners._

* * *

**New arc starts. Won't be as complicated as the last one though... It's just seemingly dark! ...Also Metal Saire isn't canon See you guys lat-**

* * *

Dimsano started to laugh, "HAHAHA! My robots have tricked EVERYBODY! ...Isn't that right... Demonic Android with Lasers... 667?

DAL 667 started to laugh, "Please master, you make me blush." He looked like Mechamentio713._  
_


	22. MAR Episode 1

**Here it is! The Finale of Season 2 of Maskwitness Reviews! This will actually tie into Planet Insania: World Tour! And will reveal some secrets! ...And I NEED to finish this episode, so let's go!**

* * *

Dimentio713 was seen sitting at his usual place, "So I'm reviewing an anime from my childhood and it's actually pretty interesting... I'm watching the first episode and I'm planning to make it still be about first impressions, BUT... Nah, I'm gonna continue with my old style. So you're wondering what anime I'm reviewing?"

Dimentio713 grinned, "It was actually part of my childhood, it was an anime that premiered on Toonami, and it has a blond haired main character who is easily excited. Not only that, he gains the attention of a pink-haired girl and he wants to be well-known... This is..."

Suddenly, there was a sound... A sound that kind of grinded Dimentio713's ears.

"What the?"

A blue box appeared in the middle of the review room, on the top of the box, it said "Police Box"

"Dimentio713!" A voice exclaimed as the door opened...

"Who are you?"

"I'm you! From the future!" The future version of Dimentio713, apparently wearing a bowtie and a fez, exclaimed.

"...Not again..." Dimentio groaned, "What's up?"

"Don't review Naruto!" His future said, as he got out a couple of feet from the time machine that oddly looked like the TARDIS.

"I'm not planning to review Naruto..." Dimentio713 explained, "You should know that. Besides, isn't this creating a paradox?"

"No, I had go to the past with my time machine, apparently based on the TARDIS from Doctor Who, to prevent a paradox and I remember this happening! And saying that sentence... And this. And this. And this. And this."

"Okay... You must have remembered a lot to remember all of that!" Dimentio713 said sarcastically.

"Well, it's pretty important to keep time okay." Dimentio713 from the future grinned, "Anyways, we'll be seeing Dimentia713 come through the door... NOW!"

Dimentia713 then came through the door, "Hey, Dimentio, I got the anime..." She looked at the future version of Dimentio713, "...that...you...ordered..." She looked at her boyfriend, then to her future boyfriend, then to Dimentio713 and then to future Dimentio713.

"What the heck is going on here?"

"Time." Both Dimentio's said at the same time.

"...Right." Dimentia said sarcastically, "Anyways, here's your anime." She tossed a DVD case at him.

"Awesome!" Dimentio713 grinned and hugged Dimentia, "Thanks!"

"You're welcome," Dimentia713 said, with a smile on her face.

"Anyways, I think it's time for me to return to the future." Dimentio713 from the future exclaimed as he walked back into the "TARDIS."

"Wait." Dimentia713 looked at her future boyfriend's clothes, "What is on your head?"

"It's a fez! Fezzes are cool!" Dimentio713 from the future said.

"...Whatever, take it off so my future version doesn't kick it off." Dimentia713 said.

"Right..." Dimentio713 from the future grinned sheepishly and then walked into the TARDIS and it disappeared.

"...That was weird." Dimentio713 decided.

"Right." Dimentia plainly said, "Anyways, ready to tell the audience?"

"Right! I'm reviewing... MAR!"

"Yeah, I lied...but I'm invoking the trope, 'Lying Creator, and what do you expect? Anyways, I was only about to find the original Japanese version online, so sadly I can't review the English dub currently, but I'm looking for it... If I find it, I'll talk about it later."

Dimentia713 smirked, "Anyways, I'm leaving." She walked away, "See ya soon!"

* * *

_**I don't care what your thinking as you turn to me**_

_**'Cause what I have in my two hands is enough to set me free (set me free)**_

_**I can fight the feelin' to resist it over time**_

_**But when it's just too much to take you sneak up from behind**_

_**Is it me? You say, you're looking for?**_

_**Let me show you who I am and what I'm here for here for**_

_**Heaaay!**_

_**Try to reach inside of me!**_

_**Try to take my energy!**_

_**Let me show you just what I'm made of**_

_**Simple curiosity, trying to take a bite of me**_

_**Let me show you just what I'm made of now...**_

* * *

_Dimentio713 was seen with a ring on his finger, ready to summon something._

**MAR (Marchen Awakens Romance) Episode 1**

* * *

"Let's get started, shall we?"

"So the prime target one must get when the creator intends on catching your attention is often the opening of an anime. A thing I noticed in recent television however, is that they often opening with a 'Cold Opening.' So, this anime doesn't do that, rather its opening is pretty much a rock piece. Compare that it Queen's Blade, which had its opening song in the second episode, Black Rock Shooter, which had its opening song at the end of the first episode, to Madoka Magica which opened with a cold open. Granted, it's something I would expect, so I'm not docking any points."

So we start out in a fairy tale land... Actually the moon, but still! We get some impressive CG effects and we open to a odd character.

* * *

_Odd Character: This is a gamble._

* * *

"So there's this HUGE symbol below him and he decides to use his 'ARM,' the thing that the characters in MAR use as weapons to make a huge beacon of light."

Dimentio crossed his arms, "Odd."

"So we meet our protagonist, Ginta who is currently climbing up a mountain to save a girl." Dimentio smirked.

"Well, I'm looking forward to seeing what becomes of him! Apparently he can use the weapon, Holy Thunder Force!"

"I'm not kidding."

* * *

_Fairy: It's the only weapon that can take down Gargantua, the demon king!_

Really? A cliché weapon that is used to slay a demon king? Seriously?

_Ginta: Yeah, I'll pull it out. I'll defeat you...and bring peace... I'll do it!_

Yay.

* * *

"The opening's really slow paced. I mean, it's kinda boring! Of course, as it turns out... It was a day dream. And Holy Thunder Force...was a ruler. Not to mention, his life is just normal."

"You know, I daydreamed back in the day, but I never pulled out a ruler." Dimentio said as he rolled his eyes.

_Teacher: Ginta... You, again... Crazy boy. GO RUN ON THE FIELD AND WAKE UP!_

Ouch.

"Now you see my issue with subtitles. With the English dub, you get more understanding of what the dubbers would do! Subtitles though... It's hard to say that it's easy to understand. Mostly because it's often a direct translation."

"As it turns out, Ginta is very unathletic as when he runs on the field, he gets tired like in ten seconds... Dude, at least TRY! Seriously, it's like the creators are saying that wannabe heroes are stupid! Also, he wears glasses because he plays WAY too much video games."

"Seriously? Is this anime TRYING to offend the people who WATCH this anime! I mean, yeah this anime is mostly likely for little kids, but it comes off as offensive to watch!"

* * *

_Bully #1: You're supposed be strong Ginta! This is Thunder Force. Take this to beat Yazawa._

That's the teacher's name? Yeah, I'm just calling teacher. Much more appealing.

_Ginta: Gee... Give me a break!_

* * *

"Yeah, this anime REALLY pulls the trope, 'This Loser Is You' with Ginta. It might just be me because from my memory, Ginta was really heroic...and that's the problem, Ginta...lives in the real world! His life sucks!"

"Well, there's ONE thing that makes him fine...and that's his only friend Koyuki..."

* * *

_Koyuki: You guys should stop teasing Ginta._

_Bully #2: Well... We're not teasing him, Koyuki._

Please, you guys are!

_Bully #2: Just patting him!_

More like torturing him.

* * *

"So yeah, he's just a kid...but to be honest, from what I heard... He does get better! I mean, he wants to be the hero really, really badly, but stuff happens, you know? So Ginta talks about his fairy tale land with Koyuki, who apparently enjoys his stories, and I would too! I mean, his stories are REALLY interesting! So the two say their good-byes and Koyuki gives Ginta some chocolate, I'm not sure WHY, but I guess it's because she's his friend." Dimentio started to blush.

"Plus, they're really cute together!" Dimentio exclaimed, "Sadly, when he tells his mom..."

* * *

_Ginta's Mom: Fairy tale world? There's no such thing, stupid._

_Ginta: I had the same dream 102 times!_

That doesn't really prove anything...

_Ginta's Mom: Yeah, yeah, but there's something wrong with you._

* * *

"So yeah, they get into an argument because Ginta keeps sleeping in class and like a normal parent, she's concerned about her son. And Ginta tries to say that she writes fairy tales, but his mom says that it's completely different! Dang, if this wasn't a fantasy anime... This anime would actually be pretty interesting! However, since we're seeing everything from his point of view...everybody is a bad person. Just like Chris-chan's viewpoint!" Dimentio sighed.

"I wish I could see the English dub of this... Perhaps Ginta would be slightly more appealing... Also, foreshadowing with his video game."

"So Ginta realizes just how boring his life is...and he doesn't appreciate how his life is right now."

"Be grateful pal... Seriously! Also, I read the manga... He doesn't sound as whiny. Perhaps it's how the subs did it. I'm not sure, but the English dub is for some reason no longer on the Internet... Kinda annoying."

"So Ginta then hears a voice saying 'We'll be connected' and then we cut back to school."

* * *

_Koyuki: Did you have your 103rd dream? I wanna hear it!_

DANG IT THEY'RE SO CUTE TOGETHER!

_Ginta: Oh I'll tell you! (There's a girl who belives me!)_

* * *

"So the classroom becomes weird and we see some creepy creature... Hey, rule number one of teleporting someone to another world, don't make it obvious!" Dimentio pointed out.

"So everybody BUT Ginta and Koyuki run away from the obvious portal to another world. Seriously, it's REALLY annoying!"

"So Ginta is ready to go into another world, but he can't take Koyuki with him, for some odd reason. Most likely because the portal guardian is a jerk. Though he does point out that they can't have any unwelcome guests..."

_Ginta: I'm...going._

_Students: Get him out of there! _

Well... Say goodbye to the world you once knew Ginta! Perhaps you'll die!

* * *

"So Koyuki says goodbye to Ginta and tells him to tell everything when he gets back... Seriously, he's like Chris-chan! Except he goes into his fantasy world! While Chris-chan...doesn't do much."

"So Ginta's mom realizes that something's wrong, but the door closes and we see Ginta falling from a great height...and he's ended up in his fantasy world! And he can see perfectly without his glasses, run so, so much, and well... Watch."

* * *

_Ginta: I should have brought my camera!_

_(Girl flies over head and watches Ginta)  
_

Stalker!

_Ginta: I'm not tired after a long run!_

Well, he's panting and stuff, so he SHOULD be tired, but I guess he's just not REALLY that tired.

_(Sees a soldier-like creature and fights it)_

_Ginta: All of a sudden... Who are you!_

My problem with subs... They can't quite get the English meaning. I think it should be: What the? Who are you?

_Ginta: (Pushes the soldier-like creature and defeats it) What the?_

_Girl: (Claps) You did well, boy._

_Ginta: Who...are you._

An extremely hot witch... I'm sorry, she's REALLY cute! Or hot... Sorry...

* * *

"So the witch's name is Dorothy! No doubt named after the main character of Wizard of Oz. So then explains how the people fight in this world. You see, they use items called ARMs and they use them to fight." Dimentio chuckled, "Please, try having an actual weapon!"

"So Dorothy decides to trick Ginta into working with her by giving him an ARM, 'Ring Dagger' as it's called."

* * *

_Dorothy: I knew it was here! "Babbo" is sealed here._

_Ginta: Hey..._

_Dorothy: A superior ARM is here._

A greedy witch... Interesting...

* * *

"So Ginta busts into the cave where 'Babbo' is located and they have to fight the CG guardian of Babbo. Ginta rushes into the kill...and gets his hand crushed. Ouch. So Dorothy summons her Guardian ARM, Flying Leo, and the CG fight begins!"

"Of course, Ginta opens the chest where Babbo is located and we get this scene.

* * *

_Babbo: Who are you?_

_Ginta: (Look of disbelief)_

_Babbo: Where is this? I can't remember. How long did I sleep? I can't remember at all!_

_Ginta: Dorothy, I have a question!_

_Dorothy: What?! Did you find Babbo?_

_Ginta: Are there any ARMs that talk?_

_Dorothy: No, that would be freakish!_

* * *

"So Babbo talks, Dorothy is shocked and the episode ends."

"All in all, this series is just kinda okay. I mean, it's not much, but the CG is kinda interesting, but it shows up like a sore thumb. The animation is good, but the characters in the first episode are just odd..."

"Ginta, our main character, reminds me of Chris-chan... So yeah... but unlike Chris-chan, I remember that he grew as a person due to his adventures in MAR. Not much to say, and I'm trying out a new reviewing style, so please forgive me if it's just average! Well, this ends Season 2 of Maskwitness Reviews. Not that memorable, but still, I had fun! See you guys in Season 3!"

* * *

**Ginta: Yeah, I'll pull it out. I'll defeat you...and bring peace... I'll do it! **

**Pros:**

_Decent animation_

_Future episodes DO get better_

_Fight scenes are pretty cool_

**Cons:**

_Ginta is really stupid and refuses to grow up in the first episode_

_The subbed version translates too literally._

_Final Verdict: 6.5/10. Decent anime I suppose. Feels very shounen._

_MAR is owned by Nobuyuki Anzai_

* * *

(static)

"Soon my plans will come..."

(static)

* * *

**I'm not really happy with how the finale went, but this season WAS pretty boring in my opinion. Tune in on November for Lucky Star Episode 3 and the start of a better arc that I'm really looking forward too... **

**Also, for those who looked on my DA account... I trolled you! :D Next Gen Urobuchi! **


	23. Season 3 Trailer

Do you remember...your past...

_Trapped..._

Who, or what, is the Shadow Queen? What is the Otherworld?

_She...is...coming..._

You... What is your name?

_...A...i...y..._

* * *

…

…

Dimentio713's eyes shot up in his bed, "What the?"

**The Maskwitness Reviewers will soon meet their end...**

Dimentio looked horrified, "Who are you?!"

**It's time for her revenge...**

"She is coming..." Mecha said, horrified, "Run!"

**Will their relationship survive?**

"I'm tired of this REALLY STUPID...THING that is YOU!" Dimentia713 exclaimed in a frustrated tone of voice as she lifted Dimentio713 up.

"I...am...too..." Dimentio struggled to say.

**He is coming...**

A paler version of Dimentio713 looked over a cliffside. Interestingly, he had no glasses, a blue jacket and was holding a Kalis sword. With his gray eyes, he looked behind him and saw a purple fog. He pointed the Kalis and ran, the Kalis shining a bright blue.

_Connect by ClariS_

"Dimentio!" A Japanese girl with black hair and red-rimmed glasses exclaimed. She waved at him with a notepad. A blue bracelet was seen on her right arm.

Dimentio waved back, a similar blue bracelet on him too.

**This is hope.**

Dimentio713 put a deck of Yu-Gi-Oh cards in a Duel Disk, "Ready!"

**There is time to create.**

"Why Master of Martial Hearts!? This anime made it to the 'So Bad, It's Horrible' page on TVTropes!" A girl exclaimed. She was Filipina, had a blue bracelet, black-rimmed glasses and black spiky hair, "Crud! I'm a girl again!"

**There is time for love.**

Akira and Fwaful212 nodded to each other and held hands as they started to disappear.

"Ready?" Fawful asked.

"Aren't I always?"

They were gone.

**There is time for friendship.**

Dimentio713 ran over to BKFood, "You okay dude?"

"I think I had too much to drink..." BKFood said, shaking his head in confusin.

**There is always time.**

_My whole life has been really strange. But I'm always gonna fight for truth..._

Dimentio713 smirked as he put on his mask.

_I've got friends, strength, and two new items._

Dimentio713's bracelet shined and turned his heel with a sonic screwdriver, "Ready!"

_It's time to win!_

The boy from before ran toward the purple mist and saw a crown. He stabbed the Kali in his hand and it became a miniature cannon. He started shooting at the crown with grayish rocks.

Maskwitness Reviews: Season 3

**_"...I am Blue Blade Fighter."_**

* * *

**Lucky Star Episode 3: November 21, 2012**


	24. Lucky Star Episode 3

Dimentio713 was currently playing "Slender" on his laptop.

"...One...more...page..." He said in frustration, "Come on... Come on..."

That's when Slenderman caught him, "DARN IT!" He exclaimed as the incredibly blank face came to the screen. He leaned back.

He was now wearing a black t-shirt that said "Art of Video Games" with both green text and green borders. He looked at his watch, "Huh, it's time for Season 3, huh? Alright."

* * *

Dimentio713 was currently holding a sonic screwdriver in a orange and purple background, a green light emitted from it. Words started to pop out.

_**Kawashita yakusoku wasurenai yo**__**  
**__**Me o toji tashikameru**__**  
**__**Oshiyoseta yami furiharatte susumu yo**_

There it was. In a Black script similar to that of Comic Sans MS. Maskwitness Reviews.

_**Itsu ni nattara nakushita mirai o  
Watashi koko de mata miru koto dekiru no? **_

Dimentio713 had new clothes. What type of clothes? Well, for one thing he was pale and had a blue jacket and strangely gray eyes. Perhaps he wasn't Dimentio713, but someone else.

_**Afuredashita fuan no kage o nando de mo saite  
Kono sekai ayundekou **_

Dimentia713 was currently in cage. Her clothes were torn-up and she was crying. Interestingly enough, a purple monster was overhead, watching her. She looked up to see Dimentio713. She smiled as the purple monster fought him.

_**Mezameta kokoro wa hashiridashita mirai o egaku tame  
Muzukashii michi de tachidomatte mo  
Sora wa kirei na aosa de itsumo mattete kureru  
Dakara kowakunai  
Mou nani ga atte mo kujikenai **_

Dimentio713, Fawful212, Dimentia713, Akira, DAL 9000 and BKFood were all in the living room. Eating ice cream.

* * *

**Dimentio713 was currently looking around. He was in the forest in his Konata gear... Did I mention that he was being stalked by slender creature.**

**Maskwitness Reviews: Season 3: Lucky Star Episode 3**

* * *

Dimentio was currently on his review couch, "Yo. I'm Dimentio713 and this is Maskwitness Reviews. It's actually really odd that I've done this for three years... How about we look back at what I've done..."

* * *

_Dimentio smiled, "You're not a nuisance. Go Nagai is... Okay, so he's NOT but still Gainax... WAY TO MUCH FANSERVICE! So I'm blaming YOU GUYS!"_

_Dimentio, in an oddly believable female voice said, "Well... If I say yes... Will you kill me?"__  
_  
_"WHAT THE (Groose: From now on, we'll call it Grooseland!) IS WITH THE DESIGNS HERE! SERIOUSLY! WHAT THE (Homura: With kindness comes naïveté. Courage becomes foolhardiness. And dedication has no reward. If you can't accept any of that, you are not fit to be a magical girl.)!"_

_Dimentio got out his microphone, "A heart sooooooooo true!"_

_Fawful started to tear up, "OUR COURAGE WILL PULL US TRUE!"_

_Dimentio was then in his Konata outfit, "Hey! I review in this outfit too!" Dimentio blinked, "Wow…I just realized how messed up I can be…"_

* * *

"...Wow do I even HAVE a life?"

_**No...**_

Dimentio looked around, "Um... What is that voice?"

"Anyways, let's start this off with Lucky Star Episode 3!"

* * *

_Opening plays_

...So...moe...

* * *

"So the episode begins and while I'm still reeling from the moe and well, we begin!"

* * *

_Kagami: Oh that's right, it's time to wear the summer uniform._

I'm in California. And it's freezing.

_Kagami: I bet Kona-chan is gonna wear her winter uniform!_

I don't know, the winter uniform is actually pretty cute.

_Kagami: There's always someone in every class that forgets the switch._

_Tsukasa: Good morning sis! (Tsukasa is in her winter uniform and slowly closes door.)_

I stand by what I said, the winter uniform is extremely moe. I mean, it's long-sleeved and stuff!

...So... cute...

_Kagami: And that some one is my sister._

* * *

Dimentio sighed, "Yeah, I've been trying to convince my friends to change their wardrobe for Season 3..."

**(Flashback)**

Dimentio was looking in his closet, currently in his pajamas, "What to wear this season..." He looked at the t-shirt he got while at the Smithsonian.

"Might as well..."

As Dimentio walked outside his room, Akira looked at his current attire with a risen eyebrow.

"What the heck are you wearing?" She asked, "This isn't like the time when you came in with a fez and a bowtie with that police box, right? And out."

"Um., No. Season 3 is starting up soon..."

"Oh, cool."

"So... Are you..."

"No."

"Right." Dimentio walked away, "I'm gonna be playing Slender until it's time."

"Whatever."

**(End Flashback)**

"Fawful said he liked the cloak, I have no idea where BKFood is, and Dimentia713 changed her outfit last October." Dimentio nodded, "Yeah, I'm still trying to reel over the fact that she's wearing more revealing stuff."

* * *

_Kagami: Oh don't it, I forgot to send my entry in the telly for that giveaway of theirs, I was hoping to get that apron from Love Apron. Darn it._

What. Is. That. Anime? All I know is that there's a trope called "Naked Apron."

_Konata: It sounds like you don't have enough love!_

_Kagami: Huh?_

_Konata: You forgot about it because you don't have enough love for the show. _

_Kagami: Whatever, I've been really busy with all my committee stuff._

I agree.

_Kagami: I also had to study for exams._

You know. Kagami is sensible!

_Konata; No, no, no, no, no. Those are excuses. I never forgot to send mine in! _

_Kagami: Stop comparing yourself to me, you got time because you goof off all day. Besides, you they you said that ticks me off._

I have to side with Kagami here, mostly because it makes the most sense, I mean... Why would I be too busy for some stupid anime stuff!

* * *

After Dimentio713 said that, he waved at the camera.

* * *

_Tsukasa: How does one win a contest like that anyways?_

_Konata: One word, and that's love_

_Kagami: What ever, I'm a woman with no love, there it is._

Dimentio713 smirked, "Of course, the fanon disagrees!" Dimentio said as he looked up deviantART, "Tons of Konata and Kagami fanart here!"

_Konata: Well, if you send in a normal looking postcard, you're never gonna win anything!_

* * *

"So yeah, Konata just goes on with a tangent about how to win prizes from the TV. You see, apparently you use designs and stuff. I should show you Dimentia's!"

Dimentio got out a card. Apparently the card was dripping in blood. Plus, it had something interesting on it.

**ALWAYS WATCHES, NO EYES**

"I'm not sure why she has this card..." He tossed the card aside.

"Plus, you can also give them so much postcards. Of course, you don't wanna look desperate. Just put one per each day. And we find out the relation between Kagami and Tsukasa..."

Dimentio looked at the camera, "They're twins! Fraternal twins at least, you know, different look, different eggs, different personality. I'd like to have someone look like me!"

"And we get jokes from Konata. Play them!"

* * *

_Konata: That explains why Tsukasa's so laid back and you [Kagami] are so vicious. _

_Kagami: What'd you say?_

* * *

"I essence, Konata has an Imagine Spot of Kagami looking like Tsukasa. Which makes Konata laugh. Plus, she's right. Can Kagami do cute? Oh well, they look so moe already!"

"Plus Konata pretty much says that the twin sisters might have telepathy... Ha! My girlfriend isn't a twin, right?"

Dimentia came in the room, holding laundry, "Nope."

Dimentio looked at his girlfriend, "Hey, why are you wearing that? It's not even decent?"

Dimentia turned around, "Cause I can." She was wearing only her underwear, "Like anybody is gonna enter the house. Really!"

Dimentio shook his head, annoyed, "Fine."

"Plus, need I remind you of when you accidentally went inside the shower while I was-"

Dimentio rolled his eyes, "Um, no." He went to the anime.

* * *

_Konata: Come on, let's try it! Hokey, pokey..._

_Kagami: Okay, you read way too much manga._

* * *

"So we learn more about Hiiragi twins, like they both like sweets, are both left handed and,"

(Tsukasa: I like white!)

(Kagami: Mine's black)

"High five Kagami!"

(Konata: That would be the color of your souls)

Dimentio got out a drum set and played on it, "Nice!"

"So they enter the train and we get this segment."

* * *

_Konata: It's so muggy in here._

_Kagami: It's not even that crowded in here and I'm sweaty_

_(Konata starts fanning herself)_

_Tsukasa: I guess it's that time of year again!_

* * *

"Kona-chan starts to fan her upper body and under her skirt. Oh dear... Next segment! Next segment!"

* * *

_Konata: Ladybug Samba, Punk Rock version_

* * *

"...What?"

"So we start talking about Konata's cousin getting married and they go over this whole conversation about June brides. To Miyukipedia!"

Dimentio looked heroic as he pointed, "Play the commercial now!"

Dimentio's look fell as he face-palmed himself, "Look we need the-"

* * *

_Akira started to talk in her cutesy voice._

_**Introducing a new show from the Creator of Maskwitness Reviews...**_

_**INSANIA CHANNEL!**_

_Akira looked excited, "Oh boy! I can't wait! I'm the star!"_

_Fawful212 nodded, "And I'm the co-host!"_

_Akira's eye stared to wince, "What the-"_

_**Coming 2013 **_

_"Let's get this thing done!"_

* * *

"...commercial. Anyways, Miyuki explains that 'June brides' come from Juno, the Roman goddess of marriage. Of course Konata said that Zeus often cheated on her. A lot."

He looked at the Percy Jackson books, "Exhibit A."

"Then they talk about marriage and I'm honestly skipping this cause I'm not a girl. Plus, with the attitude my girlfriend's showing, I wouldn't be shocked if her marriage dress involves nothing at all or as Miyuki and Tsukasa put it, miniskirts. Yeah, it's a a respectable event Dimentia713... At least wear something."

Dimentia looked at Dimentio, "I will."

"...How did you get here? ...ANYWAYS, Konata then says that you could either marry a childhood friend or a girl from a rich family. Like that Dragon Quest game that involved marrying someone! What number was it again, I never really played the Dragon Quest series. Also, obvious reference is obvious."

* * *

_Kagami: Then Bianca's the one!_

* * *

"Anyways, we get normal otaku talk from Konata about the trope 'Always Murder.' And then we see that some stuff might happen, but with our technology now... We can take them on!"

"After that, Konata and Kagami talk about rainy days and how Konata liked them when she was little. Why?" Dimentio sighed, "Do you need to ask? Anime, duh! Mostly because of the baseball games being rained out, but now..."

(Konata: They got stadiums with domes...)

"Yeah, she would say that."

"Another scene change and honestly, I kinda like this part. Here they talk about school animes, mostly with the dumb kids and smart kids going to the same school, which I wouldn't know because I live in the US and the teachers and students looking the same age. Weird, huh? Anyways, they reveal how Konata got into the same school as the main cast!"

* * *

_(Konata: For a D-rank school, I'd get a Pippin, a C-rank, a 3DO, and a B-Rank, a PS2)_

_Kagami: Man, Izumi's dad knows what buttons to push._

* * *

"Konata and Kagami start playing 'Knock-Off Fighter 2 Turbo Extra Wow This Is Amazing Hyper Remix...IN 3D AND HD!'" Dimentio smirked, "What? How many Street Figher 2 games exist? Anyways, I'm getting off-track. Konata beats her in every game they play."

* * *

_Kagami: You're kidding, it's a lousy quiz game and she totally beat me!_

_No way..._

_She must have memorized all the questions and answers! Her memory is sharp as a tack when it comes to games! _

What. Even I can't do THAT!

* * *

"Plus he get the revival of... 'Really stinky.' WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!"

"They start talking like how I would start talking with my friends and too be honest, I'm getting tired of this..."

Dimentio sighed, "In essence, this anime is a 'slice-of-life.' It's hard an anime...when you kinda live your life like that. I talk about stuff with all of my friends and I kinda think of myself as a Konata sometimes. I actually enjoy this anime! But I'll leave you guys with this."

"I can't make a ponytail, none of my friends are moe, and I like collecting stuff... Like Madoka Magica cards!" Dimentio showed off his Madoka Magica cards, "Sadly, these cards seems to have a lot of ecchi and yuri in them. Which saddens me. I wanted Witches, dang it! Oh and characters killing Kyubey. Anyways, check in next Friday, alright guys? We're kicking off one with a linear plot!"

* * *

**Pros: **

_Slice-of-life stuff. _

_Reminds me of my friends_

_Just a normal anime...with some oddites_

**Cons:**

_Hard to review._

_Final Verdict: 8.9/10. Honestly, it's hard to review an anime you've been working on for so long... But still, I enjoyed the anime despite me summarizing the whole episode. See you guys next time! _

_Lucky Star is owned by Kadokawa_

* * *

Dimentio713 looked at Dimentia, "Hey, I'm sorry for offending you."

"Hey, no hard feelings." Dimentia said, grinning, "Hey, I put on the clothes I used to wear dude." She smiled at her boyfriend, revealing that she was wearing her normal wear.

"That's better. Anyways, I forgot to tell you, I got a gift from Japan. It's this." Dimentio showed an amoeba that had it's brain shown... Plus, it had its entrails sticking out.

Dimentia's eyes started to sparkle, "It's the mixture of my favorite things! Horror and cuteness!" She grabbed from her boyfriends hands, "Amazing!"

"It's not for you. Thing is, I gotta sonic it. Make sure it's safe." Dimentio nodded at his girlfriend, "Don't tell anyone. Got it?"

"Whatever." Dimentia grinned, "Well, I've gotten some news about people disappearing. I don't know where too though. Nobody we know though."

"As soon as I finish this mystery, I'll tell you. Alright?" Dimentio walked away, grabbing his Sonic Screwdriver from his pockets and scanning the amoeba.

Dimentia waved with her gloved hand, smiling.

* * *

**See you guys later! Plus, I feel like this review was underwhelming. But honestly, I want this season to be more focused on the plot. **


	25. Kämpfer Episode 1

A young Filipina girl woke up from her sleep. She was wearing Captain America pajamas and a t-shirt that had a 1-up Mushroom on it, "Geez, this is not my... What the?" She looked around, "Why do I sound like Pinkie Pie? Why is my hair longer?" She grabbed her breasts, "WHY DO I HAVE THESE!"

Her eye winced, "I just had a crazy dream where I was accepted as a 'Kämpfer ...' Oh dear..." She looked at a blue bracelet and started to blink, "Um..."

"Congrats kid," A voice sounding like Quinton Flynn said, "You're a Kämpfer. Now you can use your abilities to fight your enemies! Like the Red Kämpfer!"

"I didn't sign up for Team Fortress Two..." The girl said snidely, she looked around, "Wait..." She immediately saw an amoeba jumping around "You're talking!"

"Yup, I'm Failed Cranial Surgery Amoeba. Pleased to meet you!" The Amoeba said

There was a knock on the door, "Hey, Dimentio! Why are you looking at a combination of ponies and Kingdom Hearts?" Akira's voice said.

"Oh! Your name is Dimentio713!"

Yup. Dimentio713 had become a girl.

"_Oh crud..." _Dimentio thought to herself, she quickly attempted a deep, gruff voice, "I'm sick!"

"Whatever, not my problem." Steps were heard, Akira must have left.

"Hey, kid, what time is it?" The Amoeba looked around, "Normally us Messengers tell the new Kämpfer about their status early in the morning."

"It's seven. Somewhat early, but that's when most of the people in this house wake up. BKFood on the other hand..." Dimentio shook his head, "That's besides the point! I need to be a guy ASAP!"

"Oh... Well, there is one way...but you'll be knocked out for four hours." The Amoeba explained.

"I need to start the review before ten," Dimentio said bluntly.

"Hey, excuse me! Hm... Why don't you break the news to your friends. I mean, from what I heard, they're very apathetic."

"Fawful212 will experiment on me, Dimentia713 will most likely sketch my new body...and I don't think I'll be wearing anything when I see the final product/manga, and DAL 9000 will try to find a cure. And BKFood is a pervert." Dimentio sighed, "Akira's the only one apathetic."

"Oh, dear. Hey, don't you NOT do a review!"

"My contract states that I have to make a review when I post my schedule."

"You have a contract? Listen kid, if you're asking to be a guy... You're asking the wrong stuffed animal with guts sticking out! The only way to do it is by force! Granted, you'll be able to control it, but that won't be until you master your bracelet."

"...Nothing is EVER easy, is it?" Dimentio whined, "Wait! My iPhone!" She grabbed her newly gotten iPhone, "Record me!"

"Um... Sure..." The Amoeba jumped up to get the iPhone, "Wow, pretty good quality! Okay... I hope your plan works..."

"I do too..."

* * *

Dimentio713 was currently holding a sonic screwdriver in a orange and purple background, a green light emitted from it. Words started to pop out.

_**Kawashita yakusoku wasurenai yo  
Me o toji tashikameru  
Oshiyoseta yami furiharatte susumu yo**_

There it was. In a Black script similar to that of Comic Sans MS. Maskwitness Reviews.

_**Itsu ni nattara nakushita mirai o  
Watashi koko de mata miru koto dekiru no?**_

Dimentio713 had new clothes. What type of clothes? Well, for one thing he was pale and had a blue jacket and strangely gray eyes. Perhaps he wasn't Dimentio713, but someone else.

_**Afuredashita fuan no kage o nando de mo saite  
Kono sekai ayundekou**_

Dimentia713 was currently in cage. Her clothes were torn-up and she was crying. Interestingly enough, a purple monster was overhead, watching her. She looked up to see Dimentio713. She smiled as the purple monster fought him.

_**Mezameta kokoro wa hashiridashita mirai o egaku tame  
Muzukashii michi de tachidomatte mo  
Sora wa kirei na aosa de itsumo mattete kureru  
Dakara kowakunai  
Mou nani ga atte mo kujikenai**_

Dimentio713, Fawful212, Dimentia713, Akira, DAL 9000 and BKFood were all in the living room. Eating ice cream. But there was a difference, Dimentio713 was currently a female.

* * *

_Dimentio713 was seen as a girl, currently holding a gun toward something while the Amoeba was on her shoulders._

**Maskwitness Reviews: Season 3: Kämpfer Episode 3**

* * *

"Best way to start off a day. Me being turned into a girl..." Dimentio said frustrated, "Ahem, hey guys! I'm Dimentio713 and I know the quality isn't that good, but I'm a girl. Thankfully, with my laptop being upstairs, thankfully I can succeed... Ahem, so there's this anime called 'Kämpfer,' and it's about this idiot called Natsuru who has become a girl of all things. But he does get some cool powers! But the bad thing is, he's a girl. Anyways, he's locked in an eternal conflict against other Kämpfer. Red ones, to be more specific. Reminds me of Team Fortress 2, to be honest. Anyways, I found out about this anime from TVTropes. I was looking up Dragon Ball Z: Abridged and checked out MasakoX who apparently abridged this anime. So yeah..." Dimentio groaned, "This is just perfect..."

"Anyways, that's the basic premise of this anime..."

"Like usual, I'm going over an episode of this anime. Most likely the first episode."

* * *

_(A blue girl is apparently running from bullets and does some cool parkour. Like jumping off a motorcycle to land on a car.)_

I hope there's driver's insurance!

"Pretty much there's a lot of running. Much like in Doctor Who. Anyways, we finally end this stupid padding and we see the opening. It's on drugs." Dimentio sighed, "And the song makes NO SENSE! And we finally start the anime."

_(Some mysterious voice): That bracelet is proof of contract._

Great! Kyubey has done it! The bracelet is your Soul Gem! Your wish has surpassed entropy!

_(Same mysterious voice): It's called the Contract Bracelet._

CURSE YOU INCUBATORS!

_(You know who): Now that you have been chosen by the Moderators, you must fight no matter what._

Moderators, eh? Well, they sound like Incubators.

_(Do you really have to ask?): You've become a Kämpfer, an elite born to fight. _

_(A girl screams)_

I've seen enough things...

* * *

"Anyways, this is our protagonist. Natsuru. And wanna know something, he's our Fanservice character. In female form." Dimentio looked as his new body, "It's not as bad as I would like... I mean, it's kinda cute."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that." The Amoeba said.

* * *

_Natsuru: My chest has gotten bigger._

Oh dear. A fanservice shot.

_Natsuru: My hair has gotten longer._

Well, some people do have long hair, just ask Edward.

_Natsuru: Don't tell me... (Looks at his hips)_

_I've never had this underwear._

…

* * *

Dimentio checked her pants, "Oh crap."

* * *

_(The mysterious voice from before): You've become a Kampfer._

_Kampfers must be female._

Like me, sadly.

_(What do you think): That's why you've turned into a girl._

**Tch, like you kid.**

Who said you could be in this review!?

**I'm just saying what I'm seeing.**

_(The same type of plushie that's been annoying me): Since you've been chosen, you must become a Kampfer to fight._

**Hey, I didn't mean it, kid. **

Shut it.

_(Stuffed...animal?): Hey I'm over here. _

_Do you understand?_

...What.

_Natsuru: Harakiri Tiger? _

_The plushie is..._

**Don't blow up your brains, Ms. Breasts. **

I find that insulting.

_Natsuru: A bracelet?_

* * *

"Hey! Dimentio!" Dimentia713's voice was heard, "You in there?"

"Oh crap! It's my girlfriend!" Dimentio whispered.

"Come on dude, you have to start the review of Kämpfer. Plus there's somebody at the door." Dimentia said.

Dimentio's bracelet started to glow, "Yes!" She cheered.

"Wait! Is that a girl I hear?"

Dimentio713's eyes widened, "Oh-" There was a blue shine and Dimentio713 was back to being male, "Thank you male body!"

"Dimentio, I swear!"

"Don't worry!" Dimentio said, "It's just my laptop! I kinda unhooked my earbuds!" He said, opening the door.

"Oh, nice to see nothing naughty is happening!" Dimentia said, snarkily, "Anyways..." She looked at his hand, "Nice bracelet, where'd you get it from?"

"Um... While you were away. I just started wearing it now!" Dimentio handwaved in an effort to get his girlfriend off his back. Yeah, maybe he could have done it better.

"Looks familiar," Dimentia smirked, "By the way, there's someone at the door."

Dimentio nodded, "Alright."

As Dimentio went downstairs, his bracelet started to glow softly. Also, not to mention, he had left the review now... Crud.

The Amoeba looked around, "Wow. That's a bit of a shock. Looks like I can do the review from now on."

* * *

_Harikari Tiger: That's the Contract Bracelet. _

_Natsuru: What is this thing? (Tries pulling it off)_

_Harikari Tiger: The bracelet will glow before you transform._

**Prepare for some unintentional hilarity. ...Oh crud.**

* * *

Failed Cranial Surgery Amoeba blinked, "I didn't tell him about that. Oh well, it's not my problem."

Meanwhile, Dimentio713 was going downstairs when he saw his bracelet glowing.

"Hey, Dimentio! Does that bracelet run on batteries?" Dimentia snarkily replied.

"Um... I gotta go somewhere... Greet our guest, please!" Dimentio ran upstairs and saw the Amoeba, "You! What does it mean when... Wait... I watched this ani-"

Dimentio was once more a girl, "I transform when it glows, huh?"

Amoeba nodded, "Yup. Anyways..."

* * *

_Harikari Tiger: You could say I'm almost like an angel._

You did some parts of the review without me!

**Hey kid, you didn't say anything about this! I don't even know how to review!**

I make fun of stuff when stuff happen.

**Tch, that makes no sense.**

Whatever!

_Harikari Tiger: T-Those are my intestines, Natsuru-san!_

And suddenly, this anime has gotten grosser.

**Hasn't been it always like this?**

_Natsuru: I'm a- GUY!_

Your seiyuu isn't!

_Natsure: Goodness. This is a dream... This has to be._

Sadly, it's not.

**Like your problem.**

Don't make me do the same thing Natsuru did to Harikari Tiger.

**Tch, whatever.**

_Harikari Tiger: You want to go back to sleep?_

* * *

"And this is the problem I have with the anime. Natsuru is stupid. If you want to read something Kampfer-related, read the manga. It's half decent." Dimentio admitted.

* * *

_Harikari Tiger: Let me help you._

_All right._

Please! Don't do anything gross!

* * *

"So Natsuru becomes a guy by being knocked out by the Entrailed Animal, and yes that's the name of that creature. And we come across a girl who Natsuru has the hots for."

"Sadly, she's-" Dimentio tossed the Amoeba into her closet.

"No spoilers!"

"Hey! I know her true self!" The Amoeba grumbled, "Anyways, you can continue review this anime."

"Anyways, you see Sakura, that's the girl's name, apparently gave Harikari Tiger to Natsuru and suddenly the bracelet glows..." Dimentio looked at her bracelet, "Yes!" He became a guy

"Dimentio!" DAL flew up into the room, "Our guest wants to meet you! I already implanted what she needed."

"One sec!" Dimentio immediately ran downstairs and there was a young Japanese girl sitting down on a table. She was around Dimentio713's age and smiled. She was wearing a scarf and a hat. She was wearing a black coat and a white t-shirt underneath. Not to mention, denim pants.

"I finally get to meet you!" She said, "So you're Dimentio713, huh?"

"Yeah..." Dimentio smiled, "I guess you're..."

"Wow, you don't remember my name?"

"Look, we only talked to each other online!" Dimentio admitted, "Only when I was in...Taiwan, I saw your real face!"

"Where was that anyways?" The girl said, "I checked up on Taiwan and stuff..."

"That's something you won't find out." Dimentia told the girl, "It's a really interesting story, but you can't know about it. It's a house thing."

"Oh..." The girl sighed, "Anyways, who are you? I'm Naru."

"Dimentia713. Looks like DAL allowed you to speak English." Dimentia said.

"Yeah... It's interesting... I got a needle... One sec, I need to get my luggage. I'm staying here for awhile." Naru said.

Dimentia looked at Dimentio, "Well, I'm going to go check up on the review room."

Dimentio sighed.

You see Naru was a friend of Dimentio. Over the course of 2012, they talked to each other over the internet. He gave her advice, no matter how weird the topic, and was there to help her. Little does he know... Well, that's a secret.

Dimentio entered his room, "Okay. I'm gonna start making a review now!"

The Amoeba looked around cautiously, "I feel a presence. Like there's another Kämpfer in this house. Another Entrailed Animal too..."

"You can do that?"

"I can do a lot of things. I'm a Messenger! Anyways, I watched more of this anime and apparently, we see a new character. With a gun. From that crazy padding scene."

* * *

_(The red-head from the beginning of the episode): Yo. So you're my enemy? Never thought such a girly-looking punk would be my enemy._

I'm gonna enjoy this character.

_(Gun-toting chick): Say your prayers or something._

_Sakura: Natsuru-san? Huh?_

* * *

"We get a transformation scene." Dimentio explained, "Not really that interesting... But there's Gainaxing... Also, the red-head's name is Akane... Yeah. Remember my 'The Team' post on DA? Yeah, that's the girl's name. And she cusses... a lot."

(Akane: Outta the way, you stupid (The Doctor: Don't blink. Blink and you're dead.))

"Anyways, the two fight and it turns out that Natsuru can shoot fire out of his hands. Try to wrap your heads around that! Natsuru saves Akane from a falling pillar and there's a bit of fanservice involved. Akane falls on Natsuru in a very suggestive manner. A REALLY suggestive manner."

"So Natsuru runs away from Sakura who was watching the fight. Let's just say, implied crush." Dimentio admitted.

"We get some more exposition. Like Sakura being probably the one of the most beautiful women on campus out of two. I could tell that one's really nice and the other is really mean. We also meet a very boring character too! So... Yay? Also, Natsuru has an old friend who apparently travels the world. We also meet another character."

* * *

_(New character): No, it's okay. I shouldn't have..._

_Natsuru: Um... Do you need something from me?_

**Lots and lots of- oof!  
**

This fanfic is rated Teen!

_Natsuru: Actually, how did you get to the male side_

_(New character. She's almost like Fluttershy!): I-I'm a librarian, so I have a pass..._

_I'm sorry, I don't speak with guys often..._

So...moe...

**(Cough)Otaku!(Cough)**

I'm gonna ignore that statement...

_Natsuru: Even if you apologize... What's your name?_

_Akane: I'm Akane._

Hilarious moment go!

_Akane: Akane Mishima._

_Natsuru: Akane... Misihima?!_

* * *

"We get a fanservicey scene and-" Dimentio became a girl again, "What's up?"

"Dunno." The Amoeba told them.

"So Natsuru accidentally keeps insulting Akane. Who is the same person who fought Natsuru that morning and, apparently there's personality changes in Kämpfers. So a shy person becomes a crazy woman..." Dimentio explained, "I still can't get over my form."

"Yup."

"Same color bracelets mean that the people are on the same side... Et cetera, et cetera, and stuff. I mean, blue are on the same side and there's three types of Kämpfers...but she still remembers when Natsuru saved her."

* * *

_Akane: That was so brave..._

Obvious crush is obvious.

_Natsuru: If blue means we're on the same side, what about our enemies? _

_Akane: They wear red ones._

_Natsuru: You know a lot.  
_

_Akane: Black Seppuku Bunny told me._

There's a Black Seppuku Bunny?

_Akane: He's a type of plushie from the Entrails Animal Series. _

_Black Seppuku Buuny: What? You want something from me?_

Exposition.

_Black Seppuku Bunny: Well, whatever._

_I'm only going to say it once, so listen carefully. _

* * *

"So Black Exposition Bunny tells us that there are three types of weapons for Kämpfers. Gewher, Zauber, and Schwert. And it's German." Dimentio sighed, "I took a German class. The teacher sucked."

"Anyways, they make a seiyuu reference and I just realized you sound like Axel. I might I knew, but still..."

"Whatever," The Amoeba told Dimentio, "By the way, have you noticed there was a gun nearby whenever you transformed." Dimentio looked at her hand, "You're right..."

"You can desummon it, but-" To Failed Cranial Surgery Amoeba's shock, the gun was desummoned, "Whoa! How can you do that!? It can't take that long to desummon a weapon. At least a couple of weeks."

"I have experience in weapons." Dimentio told the Entrailed Animal.

"Also, awkward position number one!" Dimentio announced as the screen showed Natsuru and Akane in a compromising position. Not to mention, they were just getting books.

"We see another character, Shizuka and she's the Student Council President...and one of the beauties of this school. More implications and Natsuru becomes a girl again and is forced to sneak around. Apparently the school is a co-curricular, but separate sides and classes. So, that causes some problems."

* * *

_Natsuru: So you don't know why Kampfers are fighting against other Kampfers? _

_Akane: I asked Black Seppuku Bunny quite a few times... Bue he always says he didn't know... And then I get mad..._

_{Flashback}_

_Akane: You don't know?! You Yukari Tamura sound-a-like! _

_Black Seppuku Bunny: Stop abusing me! You Yui Horie sound-a-like!_

I don't quite understand this reference...

**It's cause you're not Japanese.**

_Akane: I become so violent after I transform._

_Natsuru: Wait, so why do we suddenly transform._

* * *

"I wanna know too... Why?"

"Dunno, maybe the anime will explain it!" Failed Cranial Surgery Amoeba told Dimentio.

Dimentio looked at at the Entrailed Animal, "Really?"

"Just kidding. You either feel like transforming or another Kämpfers is nearby. I have a gut feeling the reason you transformed is the later."

"So we get a 'hilarious' scenes that have Natsuru getting used to her new female body." Dimentio rolled her eyes, "Like the bathroom."

"Do you know?"

"You sit down." Dimentio told Failed Cranial Surgery Amoeba.

"That's it?"

"...Yeah..."

"So, we get something extremely awkward after that. Sakura meets up with Natsuru and... Well..."

* * *

_Sakura: I-I'm sorry. Well, actually... There's someone I'm kinda interested inn..._

Aw, there's gonna be a cute scene!

_Sakura: I just can't get this someone out of my head._

Aw, she's gonna admit her love for somebody. I know who the lucky fellow is!

_Sakura: I really want to meet that person again... And see, I was wondering if you know them. So fabulous and cool... And wearing our school's uniform._

I can't wait!

_Sakura: And she's saved me! I'm talking about that girl on the street from this morning! Naturu-san, if you know her, please introduce me to her!_

Ouch. Burned.

* * *

Dimentio laughed, "That's so funny! Sakura has a crush on Natsuru who has a crush on her. Sadly, it's Natsuru's female form that Sakura was a crush on. Craziest love triangle ever!"

"So there's a lot of craziness and school. And Akane and Natsuru become friends. Which is cute... Sadly, Akane's Kämpfer form comes out and says this:"

(Akane: What's up, People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually — from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint — it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly... timey-wimey... _stuff.)_

"So, as it turns out there's another Kämpfer on... Kampus and-"

"That was a horrible pun." The Amoeba said.

"So they fight and we end on a cliffhanger that implies that Sakura is the person who's been attacking them."

"Trust me, she's even worse than most." the Amoeba explained.

"Well, I thought this was a weird anime. An interesting anime, but a weird one. Anyways, I-"

Dimentia barged into Dimentio's room, "Dimentio!"

She saw Dimentio and blinked, "Um..."

"This isn't good."

* * *

**Pros:**

_It's...interesting..._

_It gets better later on_

**Cons:**

_Weird._

_Lots of fanservice_

_Final Verdict: 6.5/10. The anime has a really horrible lead character, but the visual novel and the manga... They're better._

* * *

Dimentio blinked, "Listen..."

"There's someone attacking us. Come on, help me out Dimentio." Dimentia smirked, "Nice impression of Pinkie Pie by the way."

"...What."

* * *

**What? A review in the start of the week! Oh my! A regular schedule!**


	26. Super Mario Shirayuki-hime

Dimentio713 quickly ran down the stairs and he saw some girl who had white hair and a smirk on her face. She was currently attacking Akira and Fawful212 with twin katanas.

"Come on! I sensed another Kämpfer here!" She exclaimed annoyed, "Honestly, throw me a bone."

"Listen, I don't know what a Kämpfer is and I don't feel like knowing," Akira said, "So can ya stop attacking us?" she slipped out a microphone from her sleeves and swung it at the girl.

"Tch, please!" The girl swung one of her katanas, the microphone hitting a wall, making a dent.

Akira swore under her breath and retracted the microphone. "Little help, Fawful?"

Fawful212 whipped out his plasma gun, "Listen, this doesn't hurt. Just please stop attacking us!"

"Not until you reveal the Kämpfer! I know there's one here! Don't worry, I just want to talk to her." The girl exclaimed.

Dimentia looked at Dimentio in concern, "I think she's talking about you."

"Of course she is..." Dimentio summoned her gun, "Outta the way!"

She shot a bullet into the ceiling, getting everyone's attention, the room instantly looked at Dimentio.

"Who the heck are you?" Akira said confused.

"Hm... My scanners are saying that you're Dimentio, but...isn't Dimentio a guy?" Fawful212 blinked, confused, "So, who are you?"

"I'm Dimentio713." She sighed, "And yes, I'm a girl. But what I want to know is who is the girl attacking my friends!"

"Dang it..." The girl sighed, "I'm Naru. From this morning."

"...What." Dimentio said.

"You see..."

(Present Day)

Dimentio was currently looking at his laptop, "This. Is. Annoying." He bluntly said.

Thankfully, he was a guy again, but was clearly ticked off. He learned more about Kämpfers the past two weeks. Apparently their personality changed with their body, of course, that was the Moderator's, the being who watched over this whole "game" choice. And he was a girl.

After what had happened, Fawful212 conducted some experiments, non-fatal of course. Of course, when Dimentio's clothes were currently on the rack for more testing, BKFood just happened to walk into the lab.

What followed was confusing. Of course, nothing bad happened to Dimentio, but BKFood was currently being treated. One more week he'll be up and running! With a crutch.

So yeah, Dimentio looked at his laptop as he was captured by the Slenderman.

"Crud."

Naru walked into the room, "Hey Dimentio."

"Yo."

"Playing Slender, I see."

"Yup."

"Gonna watch more Doctor Who tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Jeez! You guys are like two sticks!" A Deep-Fried Squid with its entrails sticking out exclaimed, "Or at least, two boring people. Come on Ms. Naru, time to go!"

This was Naru's Messenger. Deep-Fried Squid. He apparently sounded like Sonic the Hedgehog, but well... He was polite. Of course, that was due to a strict regimen from Naru. He was once extremely rude. And I mean, really rude. Like he's kinda mean to everybody.

"It's nothing." Naru said, "Shall we get moving?"

"Yeah. By the way, when are we going to Disneyland, miss?" They walked away as Failed Cranial Surgery Amoeba popped in.

"Business, as usual I see."

"Yeah."

He looked at his iPhone, "Looks like I got an e-mail."

* * *

Dimentio713 was currently holding a sonic screwdriver in a orange and purple background, a green light emitted from it. Words started to pop out.

_**Kawashita yakusoku wasurenai yo  
Me o toji tashikameru  
Oshiyoseta yami furiharatte susumu yo**_

There it was. In a Black script similar to that of Comic Sans MS. Maskwitness Reviews.

_**Itsu ni nattara nakushita mirai o  
Watashi koko de mata miru koto dekiru no?**_

Dimentio713 had new clothes. What type of clothes? Well, for one thing he was pale and had a blue jacket and strangely gray eyes. Perhaps he wasn't Dimentio713, but someone else.

_**Afuredashita fuan no kage o nando de mo saite  
Kono sekai ayundekou**_

Dimentia713 was currently in cage. Her clothes were torn-up and she was crying. Interestingly enough, a purple monster was overhead, watching her. She looked up to see Dimentio713. She smiled as the purple monster fought him.

_**Mezameta kokoro wa hashiridashita mirai o egaku tame  
Muzukashii michi de tachidomatte mo  
Sora wa kirei na aosa de itsumo mattete kureru  
Dakara kowakunai  
Mou nani ga atte mo kujikenai**_

Dimentio713, Fawful212, Dimentia713, Akira, DAL 9000, Naru and BKFood were all in the living room. What were they eating this time? Donuts.

* * *

_Dimentio713 was seen reading from book that was titled, "Mario Fairy Tales" while there was static on a TV screen._

**Maskwitness Reviews: Season 3: Super Mario Bros. Snow White**

* * *

Dimentio looked horrified, "...What did I just see. I mean... I said... What!?"

Dimentia entered the room, "Dimentio! What happened!? Are you okay?"

"...No..." Dimentio shook his head, "I just saw the Super Mario Fairy Tale anime."

"...Ouch, here, I'll make you some hot cocoa. Alright?"

Dimentio nodded his head. Afterwards, he coughed, "Hi guys." He said in a high-pitched voice, "Remember the first season I made for Maskwitness Reviews? The one that reviewed the Super Mario Bros. Anime OVA... Yeah... This one came out years later and SOMEHOW this is worse! WHY IS IT THAT EVERY SERIES THAT HAS MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS IN ANIMATION SUCK! AND NOW I REALIZE WHY I DON'T WATCH THIS STUFF!"

"...Anyways, I apologize for having so many schedule slips. I was busy over the last month. I'm very sorry. So, let's review some Super Mario...fairy tales..."

"If you didn't know, these animes were based off of three Japanese fairy tales: Momotaro, Issun-boshi, and Shirayuki-hime, aka Snow White, and yes, this is the origin of fanmakes."

(static)

"Yeah, like you wouldn't know." Hilary D. Pressed said in her deadpan, sarcastic and annoyed voice.

"Oh! You." He then realized who he was talking to, "...YOU!" Dimentio groaned, "Why are you here? I don't have any plans to make a Top ...ANYTHING screw-ups!"

"I don't care. Not only do you turn into a woman, you dress up as them." Hilary said, "And people ask WHY you're messed up."

"Can you please shut up?"

"Another thing, you made a Kingdom Hearts fanmake."

"Of which I posted just one chapter of." Dimentio noted, "By the way, where have you been since Steel's Thing's He'll Never Review?"

"I was being chased by Slenderman." Hilary told him.

"...What?"

"That reminds me, I have to leave. See you and give your girlfriend my best regards." Hilary's screen became static.

"...Odd..." Dimentio said, "Anyways, let's review Mario Snow White. Mostly because everything else is kinda boring.

* * *

_Narrator: Super Mario's Snow White_

_(Bowser's Castle is seen... In which he looks both high and there's a Lakitu sleeping.)_

_Narrator: Once upon a time_

I heard that show was good, I should actually watch it sometime.

_Narrator: There lived a vain and selfish queen who thought she was the fairest in the world..._

_(Bowser is then seen...wearing lipstick and is also in drag.)_

...What.

* * *

Dimentio blinked, "Is...Bowser...in drag? I know Bowletta was a disturbing part of the Mario series, but please tell he isn't the evil queen, please tell he isn't-"

* * *

_Bowser: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of all._

...NOT YOU!

_Mirror: Queen Bowser, you are the fairest._

Um... No. First off, why is Bowser a queen? Secondly, WHY IS BOWSER THE FAIREST!

* * *

Dimentio groaned, "I can name several characters who are more beautiful than Bowser. Dimentia713 is one of them."

* * *

_Bowser: That's right! The mirror is honest, it won't tell a lie._

I think it's being sarcastic Bowser. You are not beautiful. Awesome, yes, but not beautiful.

_Narrator: But one day..._

_Bowser: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of all._

...Still not you.

_Mirror: Your majesty, you're the fairest in all this land...but Princess Peach, in the next kingdom, is the fairest in the world._

You know, in the original fairy tale, Snow White was seven, but Peach looks almost like an adult. Honestly, I wanna see a Teenaged Peach. We already got a Baby Peach!

_Bowser: Mmm... Princess Peach!_

Awesome! Bowser are you gonna kidnap her! Cause that would be awesome!

_Narrator: Since then, Queen Bowser disliked Princess Peach so much_

_Bowser: It's irritating, irritating, irritating... _

Dude, no. I could see better fanmakes of Snow White on FanFiction!

* * *

"Suddenly, we hear what seems to be the Jeopardy theme song." Dimentio shook his head, "Why?"

"So, Fem!Bowser, can't sleep because Peach so much more beautiful than him. Of course, Bowser isn't beautiful. Unless, this is the same world as Dodoria from Dragon Ball Z Abridged..."

(Dodoria: I AM A WOMAN!)

"...Let's not go there."

"So Bowser sends the Koopalings to kill Princess Peach and they do. And they are riding on clouds. So they attack Princess Peach, who is both singing and gathering flowers by the lake... Of course... You're kinda helpless Peach. Everybody says, maybe they shouldn't attack Peach. But Wendy just says this!"

* * *

_Wendy: Nonsense, Queen Bowser must be the fairest._

* * *

"I'm not gonna say it again. I'm just not."

"So the Koopalings start the attack, but Mario appears (out of nowhere) and beats them up. And somehow, he has lighting attacks. Weird. Anyways, Mario saves Peach, with a horrible fight scene, and well..."

(Narrator: Mario saved Princess Peach and went to a tiny house in a forest with her.)

"I'm not gonna say anything... It's below me."

* * *

_Peach: Oh, how cute! Bed... chairs... everything here is so tiny and cute~!_

Yes, it's clearly for dwarves! I bet it's gonna be Yoshi and a whole bunch of other-

_Toads: I'm Kinopio! We're friends!_

...Or for Toads... And before you ask, apparently their Japanese name are Kinopio... I think.

* * *

"My goodness, they're helpless..."

Dimentia713 walked by, "You know, my family are Toads."

"...What?"

She nodded, "I visit them every now and then."

"Really?"

"Or I could be trolling you!" Dimentia taunted her boyfriend, walking away once more.

"... She's so weird. Apparently Mario knows the seven Toads of the forest and he leaves Peach in their care. Upon which, she gets captured. No seriously, I'm calling it right now! She's gonna get captured!"

"Mario just goes off and goes to various, and creative worlds, like: Ice World, Fire World, Green World, Decalburg, Rougeport, Flipside, Toad Town, Plack Beach, and Green Hill Zone!" Dimentio blinked, "Wait, there's something wrong about the last one."

"Also, why do I have a gut feeling like the music here is...to put it bluntly, REALLY BAD! I mean, screw the iconic tune of Mario and screw the awesomeness that was Bowser's Inside Story's final boss battle's music! We just just need a high-pitched sound and then a low one! Creativity at its finest!"

_Bowser:Wh, what! You failed!_

Dude, when you're dressed up like a woman, you're gonna fail somehow!

_Bowser: You useless fellows!_

...These are some horribad subs I'm seeing.

_Koopalings: We're very sorry!_

* * *

"Bowser, quick pro-tip, you should really invest in getting a son from nowhere. And call him Bowser Jr.! Also, I'm serious, whoever subbed this CANNOT sub worth...something! I mean, where else would you see the sub say:"

(Koopalings: {Crestfallen, crestfallen.})

"What you couldn't put: Darn it? Or something better? This is as bad as Elsie's voice in the English dub for The World God Only Knows!"

"Did I mentio they re-use animation? At least with the "Great Mission to Save Princess Peach," the DUMBEST thing I've ever since in my whole entire life had better animation! And that was made BEFOREHAND! There's a three year difference! I know that anime movies and anime OVAs have different budgets, but STILL! Also, if I HAVE made a mistake, please tell me. Of course, I won't be told because I'm not as well-known as Steel..."

"...That was a sick burn on myself."

"Anyways, Bowser asks Kagami from Lucky Star, I mean, the mirror, and...the mirror tells Bowser where Peach is at. Of course, it doesn't help that the mirror is apparently sentient. Is it evil? I don't know!"

* * *

_Narrator: What is Queen Bowser-_

KING!

_-doing in her laboratory in the basement?_

Wait, why does Bowser even have a lab?

* * *

Tohokari-Sano appeared on a screen, "I HAVE AN ANSWER FOR THAT!"

"You're the crazy guy who helped my girlfriend get rid of Galaxica, right?" Dimentio said.

"...Yes... Also, I'm currently running from ghosts. You see, when I stole E. Gadd's Poltergust 3000, I never expected to be chased by Boos!"

"Cool story, bro. So, why does Bowser HAVE a lab?"

"You see..." Tohokari-Sano saw purple hands, "Um... I gotta run, I just realized WHO is chasing me."

"...You do that." Dimentio said, shutting the screen off, "I'm still confused about this whole situation."

"So Bowser does...something to some apples and decides to give them to Peach. And like any regular person, Peach ACCEPTS the apples from Bowser. I mean, wouldn't YOU take apples from a stranger dressed in a cloak..."

Dimentio put his head down in misery, "Cause when I did that, I found out that my wallet was missing... Along with my cell phone." Dimentio grabbed his iPhone, "And now you know WHY I switched to this."

"So Peach eats the apples and, like in Snow White, she faints, dies, goes into shock, gets a game over, her HP went to 0, went into a coma, you get the idea."

"Bowser exclaims that now HE is the fairest in the world!"

(Phoenix Wright: OBJECTION!)

"...You are the most disgusting creature I've ever seen. Also, Bowser can fly. YUP! Bowser can FLY now! I mean, screw the Koopa Clown Car! Bowser can fly! Like... SUPERMAN!"

"So the Toads find out that Peach is, pretty much, DEAD. So like any normal person, they decide to have a funeral. I mean, it's not like she has a pulse, right?"

"...And this is the same problem I have with Romeo and Juliet. I mean, couldn't anybody check anybody's pulse? I mean, screw science, she just has to LOOK dead! So Mario runs over to Peach and revives her. Please be with a kiss, please be with a kiss!"

(Mario: Princess, please drink this potion.)

Dimentio sighed, "Is it me, or in any of the anime that Mario is involved in, he doesn't do anything to Peach EXCEPT kiss him. I mean, Mario always SAVES Peach, he should get a little bang for his buck, y'know."

Akira looked at him, "Did you just make a-"

"...Shut up, shut up." Dimentio sighed as Akira left, "So the potion heals Peach and what do they do next? Why the storm Bowser's castle of course!"

(Mario: I'm determined to go and punish her!)

"...You go do that. Also, there's music now! Cool! So Goombas fall from the sky and... I just realized that I might be on something right now."

"Like me?" BKFood asked.

"...Shut up... Shut up..."

"So Mario and Bowser start to duke it out. Or the Koopalings fight Mario... With magic. With which they are able to defeat him. Of course, the Toads help Mario and Mario defeats the Koopalings. Sadly, Bowser takes Peach as a hostage and threatens to kill her!"

"Oh no! Will Bowser kill Peach? Will there be no more Mario games? Will this boring anime end? Well, to answer your questions..."

(?: Mario, I have come to help you!)

* * *

_Narrator: As you know, Super Mario has a brother called Luigi._

Who never gets any recognition.

* * *

"Luigi fights Bowser with a hammer and I just love the looks on these Toads' faces. I mean, they're like in total disbelief that Luigi came out of nowhere. Dues Ex Luigi?"

"So Bowser is defeated. Did I mention the Narrator says that Bowser is now reformed. Guys, I think he's more ticked off than reformed. I mean, you didn't do anything to him EXCEPT destroy his mirror and pride. There is no reason as for Bowser to not kill you."

"Sorry for the short review and the long wait. You see, there are some real-life stuff that happens to me. Y'know? Also, you'll have more fun either playing Okami, reading the actual fairy tales, or something than watching this anime. Trust me, it's boring. And when I saw Super Mario Momotaro, it just comes off as...really boring! Well, see you later guys!"

* * *

**(Bowser: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of all.)**

_Pros:_

_BETTER THAN THE MARIO MOVIE_

_Cons:_

_Boring_

_Bowser is in drag... I'm never gonna unsee that image._

_Final Verdict: 4/10. It's boring. Really boring._

_Super Mario is owned by Nintendo_

_Everything else belongs to their respective owners._

* * *

Hilary D. Pressed was currently in a forest.

"(Bleep). Why am I here now?"

Suddenly Tohokari-Sano bumped into her, "Ow!"

"YOU!" Hilary exclaimed.

"Listen, I found out something really bad that happened! I was looking at some of the people we met and-"

Hilary screamed... Which is surprising because she often looked really gothic and dull...

Tohoakri-Sano shook his head, "What is it," He looked behind him, "Oh no..."

...Static.

They were gone.

There was a slight laughter...

**I'm coming for you next... **


	27. Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Dimentio713 had a copy of Puella Magi Madoka Magica in his hand, he looked at it and said only one word, "It sucks."

He then promptly threw it behind him.

* * *

_Help! Somebody help me! I'm trapped in my mind! Someone! I NEED HELP! Someone pay attention to me!_

_I don't know where I am. _

_I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM! _

_**I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM! **_

_Dimentio713, if you are hearing this, please know that she's come back. I need you!_

* * *

Dimentio713 was looking at his laptop.

"...Alright people, time to review a hentai. Alright, let's start with-"

* * *

_Hello Earth. I know only a few know me. But I know all of you. I have taken most of you and I WILL get my revenge. _

_Oh? Who am I? _

_The boy knows. The girl knows. The abomination knows._

* * *

"..." Dimentio713 was looking at his laptop, "What the! He's... MIND SCAR!"

* * *

_Hello everybody! I have been biding my time! It's time to make all suffer, huh! I'm gonna have fun! See you later fools!_

* * *

…

…

…

…

…

Dimentio713 is currently in his bed. Please do not distract him. He is currently going through therapy.

* * *

_Um... Hi! _

_So it's Spring Break for me right now and I'm making another review. And I'm waiting for some people to post some stuff. _

_So, Happy April Fools and my birthday is coming up! I'm SO excited! Totally gonna buy a Wii U! See you guys later! _

_...I need a girlfriend.'_

* * *

**Happy April Fools! Here's my second review in 1337!**

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**.**


	28. Defense Force Mao-chan Episode 1

Dimentio looked at the camera, "So yeah, I currently have two reviews on the back burner. Expect them to be extra reviews after this season and now... IT'S TIME FOR MAGICAL GIRL MONTH!" Dimentio snapped his fingers as a song played, "CUE CONNECT!"

* * *

Dimentio713 was currently holding a sonic screwdriver in a orange and purple background, a green light emitted from it. Words started to pop out.

**__****Kawashita yakusoku wasurenai yo  
Me o toji tashikameru  
Oshiyoseta yami furiharatte susumu yo**

There it was. In a Black script similar to that of Comic Sans MS. Maskwitness Reviews.

**__****Itsu ni nattara nakushita mirai o  
Watashi koko de mata miru koto dekiru no?**

Dimentio713 had new clothes. What type of clothes? Well, for one thing he was pale and had a blue jacket and strangely gray eyes. Perhaps he wasn't Dimentio713, but someone else.

**__****Afuredashita fuan no kage o nando de mo saite  
Kono sekai ayundekou**

Dimentia713 was currently in cage. Her clothes were torn-up and she was crying. Interestingly enough, a purple monster was overhead, watching her. She looked up to see Dimentio713. She smiled as the purple monster fought him.

**__****Mezameta kokoro wa hashiridashita mirai o egaku tame  
Muzukashii michi de tachidomatte mo  
Sora wa kirei na aosa de itsumo mattete kureru  
Dakara kowakunai  
Mou nani ga atte mo kujikenai**

Dimentio was all alone for some odd reason.

* * *

_Dimentio had a staff in his hand and started to speak, "I'm completely helpless!"_

**Ground Defense Force Mao-chan Episode 1**

* * *

Dimentio sighed as he looked at the camera, "So, let's get one thing straight... There's only one thing thing that helps this anime."

"The fact that it's really cute. In fact, cute is just, y'know... but still guys! Shall we get started?"

Fawful212 entered the room, "Dimentio!" He exclaimed, "Something's going on!"

Dimentio groaned, "Fawful! Get out! I have a review to do! I need to catch up my reviews!"

Fawful212 blinked, "But..."

"Please!" Dimentio said, pushing the cloaked boy out, "I have a job to do!"

"But-" Fawful got his statement closed out, "This isn't good."

Dimentio took his seat, "So anyways, Ground Defense Force, Mao-chan was created by Ken Akamatsu. The same guy who made Mai Santa... Oh dear. I'm actually not looking forward to this!"

"I'll be honest, I don't dislike the guy... I just don't like the 'moe' genre... Unless they're being tortured, like in Madoka Magica!" He started to pet his Homura plushie.

"Um..." He put it down, "Episode 1 time!"

* * *

_Mao: Mao Onigawara of the Ground Defense Force._

I'm moe proof.

_Mao: I'll protect the peace of Japan._

Well... At least she has a goal.

* * *

"So our opening is moe. That's how much the show to be. Moe! And the opening credits is 'All My Love.'" Dimentio sighed, "Okay! Well... It's as similar to the opening of MLP in Japan."

Akira stormed in the room, "Dimentio!"

Dimentio sighed, "Akira... What?"

"BKFood."

Dimentio's eye rose, "Oh? Is he drunk?"

"Look!" Akira pulled Dimentio from the review room and into BKFood's room.

"His pig is gone...and where is he?" He looked around the room, "I mean, I have expected him to be completely disregarded!"

Akira shook her head, "Contact your cousin." She said, "Dimentio... Something's going on."

Dimentio sighed, "Well... Let's get back to the review!"

* * *

_Mao: The Day X of the Month of X._

So... It's during Megaman X? Or does it take place during Megaman? Or possibly the same year as the Ace Attorney movie! 20XX!

* * *

"So Mao continues looking cute, and jumping over something, and we meet a blue-haired chick. Who always says 'I Say' after every sentence. That won't get old!"

* * *

_Teacher: Make sure you go to the Nurse's Office okay?_

So, only ONE student decides to HELP this eight-year girl, who is the age as her, and nobody does anything? Well, glad to know that some priorities are in check!"

_Mao: I just couldn't jump over it again._

...Please tell me that I'll actually like this...

_Blue-haired girl: Failure is the mother of success! Don't worry you'll get plenty of chances!_

Can Charlotte come and nom on someone's head? I know I shouldn't be saying such words but when every schoolgirl looks the same age in almost every anime, I get a little weirded out.

* * *

Dimentio then sighed, "Well, they decide to dispatch Mao in a tank and she transforms." Dimentio sighed, "Wait... Are they going to use her as a soldier!"

Dimentio's eyes widened, "Okay, so I only watched this and a part of the second episode and honestly... I don't like it. Not only is she so childish... Her life is wasted away fighting 'cute aliens'." Dimentio blinked, "Wait... What?"

Dimentio sighed, "If this doesn't tick you off. It kinda of makes me mad. I mean, she's 8! And she's being forced out into what equates to war!"

Dimentia looked at Dimentio, "This doesn't seem smart."

He looked at his girlfriend, "Where'd you come from?"

"I'm just here to tell one thing. I'm sick of you." Dimentia glared at Dimentio as she started to briskly get out of the room.

"..." Dimentio sighed, "That's not good, is it?"

* * *

_Blue-haired girl: Bye Mao-chan! Hope you have a safe mission, I say!_

That's her quirk. Hope you guys enjoy it.

_Girl with...FOX EARS!: There she goes again, Mao-chan!_

_Assistant: Miss President! Your ears!_

WHY DOES SHE HAVE EARS!?

* * *

"So the Japanese government says intelligent stuff that I think would make sense to any person in command. Except for Obama."

Failed Cranial Surgery Amoeba popped up and tackled him...turning him into a female.

Dimentio groaned, "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT FOR!?" She yelled.

"Obama joke."

"Well, at least I'm able to control it..." Dimentio said, "But... Let's continue."

"So some...old guy, who is Mao's grandpa, says that it's smart to let a little girl out into the world to fight on the behalf of the Japanese government. Smart." Dimentio looked across the room, "Hey Akira!"

She got up and looked around the house, "Akira?"

Akira popped up from her room, "Yo!"

"What do you think of your government?" Dimentio asked the salmon-haired, Japanese girl.

Akira shrugged, "Don't care. I'm a naturalized citizen anyways." She went back to her room.

"...I've always been curious what's in Akira's room..." Dimentio said to herself, "Anyways, the old guy is in command of the Ground Defense Force, but still... What's with that cloak? I mean, it seems like it should impede the old man. Anyways... They...agree with his hamminess and well..."

* * *

_Mao's Grandpa: Miss Kagome, I have gained the support of the Cabinet._

...More like the fangirls you have on you.

_Mao's Grandpa: I would also like to know if Mao has been dispatched._

Yes, let a girl who is still in elementary go and fight for your country... I think Obama would do the same thing.

* * *

Dimentio was tackled yet again, "FINE! No more Obama jokes! ...Jerry Brown jokes it is!" He stuck out his tounge.

* * *

_Kagome: Yes sir! She's been suited up in her Type 2 Ground Gear and has already arrived at the landing sight where the cute alien is._

So... We're fighting cute aliens?

Dimentio smirked, "Doctor Who would beg to differ."

(Cybermen: DE-LE-TE!)

(Daleks: EXTERMINATE!)

(Weeping Angels: …)

(Silence: You should kill us all on sight.)

(Atraxi: Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence, or the human residence will be destroyed.)

(Sontaran: SONTAR-HA!)

(Adipose: *Coo*)

Dimentio blinked, "Okay, fine! They're the exception! But it's not like we expected them...to be made of fat... Wait no, they are NOT the exception!"

"So, what is this cute alien? Well... While one of the characters fangirls over her superior, the cute alien lands and...out pops a cat. Fine! It's adorable... Quick! Think of something terrifying!" He said, pointing at a TV.

Mr. Popo appeared on the TV, "Hi."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

**Dimentio is currently being terrified, please enjoy this *KRZZT*.**

I see. You're reading this. Are you certain that you will be safe? Or will you die like the rest? No matter. Enjoy your pathetic lives. I will get revenge soon.

**Now back to your regularly scheduled anime review.**

* * *

Dimentio was lying in bed, currently in a fetal position, "Is he gone?"

Fawful212 nodded, "For now..."

Dimentio jumped up, "BACK TO THE REVIEW!"

Fawful212 quickly gained a sweatdrop, "Really Dimentio?"

"So the cute alien falls down to earth as Mao says:"

(Mao: I myself will protect the peace of Japan!)

"And what about the other countries? Like America?"

"So a wind takes the cute alien into the sky... Right when Mao is about to hit it! Oh boy! I can't wait to see what Mao will do! Will she shoot using the tank right next to her?"

(Mao: Ow...)

"Or she can complain about her knee. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS MADNESS! So, it's floating away. Shoot it. Go ahead. Shoot it. There's a tank next to you."

* * *

_The Teacher/Commanding Officer!? (Seriously... WHY!?): If it's not on the ground, we don't have the right to initiate defense policy. _

...What. Okay, for you military buffs out there, correct me... But YOU HAVE A TANK NEXT TO YOU! SHOOT DOWN THAT KITTY! IT'S AN ALIEN INVADER! KILL IT! NOW!"

* * *

_Mao: But then I won't even protect my country..._

Okay! WHO CARES!

* * *

Dimentio smiled, "It's done! Everybody's...um...dead? Terrorized? Mutated? I don't know, but I'm leaving!"

Naru looked at the computer, "But there's still time left Dimentio."

Dimentio blinked, "Oy..."

* * *

_Blue-haired Girl: Hello there Mao-chan, I say!_

No...

_Mao-chan: Misora-chan!_

* * *

Oh! That's her name? Goodie. Um... Why is she flying a plane?

_Misora: Hi! I have received the dispatch order too, I must say._

Why do you keep saying "I must say"? Did your voice actor always have to say those words? Because I'm getting annoyed.

* * *

Dimentio blinked as Misora-chan did her entrance, "She's a pegasus. She's on clouds. I say."

"Okay, I don't mind moe moments. In fact, I LOVE moe moments. But this anime is WAY TOO MOE! I WANT INTELLIGENCE! PLEASE!"

(GI: I am the Great Intelligence.)

"Not you."

"Also... She says 'I say' WAY! TOO! MUCH! It's a bit annoying, but perhaps we'll get used to it."

(Misora: Oh no, you're embarrassing me I say.)

"...No... No we won't"

"So the two friends continue to talk...and..."

(Misora: Mao-chan)

(Mao: Misora-chan)

(Misora: Mao-chan)

(Sonic: Sonic's the name, speed's my game!)

"...Wait, what about..."

(Giant cat alien crashes into the ocean.)

"WHAT ARE YOU! MORONS! YOU DIDN'T NOTICE THAT THE CAT IS GOING UNDERWATER!"

Dimentio started to slam his head against the desk, "MORONS!"'

* * *

_(Cat Alien notices submarine)_

Oh goody, what now!?

_(Little girl in submarine is drinking tea with relaxing music)_

Um... Who is this character?

_Sylvia: I am Private First-Class of the Sea Defense Force Sylvia Maru... (It's Japanese people.)_

Oh goody, what's new?

_Sylvia: As an officer, the seas of Japan are my responsibility.) _

YES! SOMEONE WHO CAN REALLY HANDLE HERSELF! WHOO-WOOO! SHE KNOWS WHAT TO DO! ...Okay, I can't say much, but her accent is SO ADORABLE!

_Sylvia: I should be helping them, but it seems like to much trouble._

LAZY PANTS!

_Sylvia: I'll just leave it up to the others._

* * *

"So Sylvia decides to go up on shore and...talks to her two...um...comrades. Also, I think she's Australian. And...it turns out her comrades are...running from the giant kitty." Dimentio groaned, "People, there's a reason why child soldiers are a really bad idea. This is why."

"So the cat just...leaves them, after terrifying them. Is everybody in this anime an idiot? And the cat...somehow inserts a parachute inside its body and Sylvia just says, 'She hasn't done anything.'"

"So now our main characters are set... And all of them are useless...and 8. Seriously, WHY ARE YOU ENDANGERING CHILDREN'S LIVES TO FIGHT CUTE ALIENS! I MEAN IMAGINE IF... Um..." Dimentio blinked, "THE ALIENS WERE FROM... Um..."

"SKARO! THERE WE GO! THAT'S THE WAY TO DO IT!"

* * *

_Mao: But...but what I really wanna do is protect Japan and I will no matter what._

_Misora: I want to protect Japan too, I say._

WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING THAT!

_Sylvia: Well, I the officer, feel the same way...but I have no weapons._

* * *

"So Mao says that they SHOULD protect Japan, and here I am with...sadness, but a sadness brought on by rage. However, instead of, oh I don't know...SENDING A FREAKING TANK TO BLOW THE ALIEN AWAY... They use a 300,000 Yen defense barrier...and that costs...around...2948 dollars. Well, only one think as to WHY Jerry Brown is an idiot."

"So, they use the defense barrier to... Um... I'm not sure, I think it's to trap the alien... While Mao just flops around helplessly. And...Mao just...fails."

"WHAT!" Dimentio yelled, "THIS ISN'T CUTE! IT ISN'T! IN A REALISTIC CONTEXT THIS IS JUST STUPID AND MEAN-SPIRITED! I CAN'T BELIEVE KEN AKAMATSU MADE THIS. Perhaps the manga is better, but...the first episode DOESN'T DO ANYTHING! But then again... The animation is good and really cute..."

Dimentio groaned, "However, this whole plot is just...STUPID! I mean, seriously, I just don't like it! The animation is cute, but that makes things even WORSE!" Dimentio shook his head, "I know it seems like I'm discriminating with Ken Akamatsu, but still, I just haven't seen the good anime. However, this is simply my first impression. Who knows, I might like it! Well, I hope I have a good review schedule and-"

"GAH!" Dimentio was swung back by somebody, "Dimentia?"

Dimentia713 smirked, "I've hated you since the start of this season..." She started to pick Dimentio713 up with her psychic powers, "And yet... There's a part of me that loves you." For some odd reason, she was wrapped around with dark, demonic energy.

"What?" Dimentio asked as he was tossed aside, "What's with you Dimentia!?"

Dimentia713 grinned, "C'mon... You're too slow... I must go now. Consider this...our break-up." Dimentia713 created a portal and walked through it, "Here, a gift."

"What's going on?" Dimentio asked himself as he got into the TARDIS and went to the future that he and Steel went to. Using his sonic screwdriver, he checked a rock, "...The Shadow Queen..." He said to himself, "What happened to her?"

* * *

******(Misora-chan: I say.)**

___Pros:_

___The characters looked cute_

___Pretty good animation_

___Cons:_

___Child soliders really?_

___The cuteness makes it even worse_

___Actually pretty terrifying!_

___Really dumb ideas from the characters_

___Final Verdict: 3/10. It's cute... But DARN IT, it's terrifying!_

___Ground Defense Force Mao Chan is owned by Ken Akamatus_

___Everything else is owned by their respective owners._

* * *

Akira, Fawful212, Naru, and DAL 9000 were gathered in a room.

Akira tossed some pictures, "Look guys... Dimentia713 is doing...some arcane magic. And reading strange books." It showed what Akira was sawing.

DAL nodded, "Yeah, it's odd. She cut off the connection from my room."

Fawful212 tapped his glasses, "Hey... What do you think is going on?"

**I am back.**

Everybody's eyes widened.

**The Shadow Queen is here. Nothing will escape my grasp.**

* * *

_…_

A pale man, looking much like Dimenito713 walked through a wasteland, he saw crystals. He tapped one... There was a person inside of it.


	29. Corrector Yui Episode 1

Dimentio713 got inside his TARDIS and pressed a few buttons. He stepped outside and found himself in Rougeport. "Last stop..." He said. He looked around and from the distance, there were three children.

"I swear! I'm SO bored!" One of them said. He was Filipino and had glasses.

"Oh be quiet Dimentio713!" Another said, she was a female Filipina and only glared at the boy who recently spoke, "Listen, after this... You guys are TOTALLY gonna meet my parents."

A boy with swirly glasses sighed, "Let's just check on the seal of the Shadow Queen. Let's go Dimentia!"

Dimentio713 slowly followed the younger versions of he and his friends as they made their way to the Thousand-Year Door.

"So when we meet my parents... Be very careful." Dimentia713 said smiling, "Anyways, I think we should live there from now on! After this mission, we're done!" The door opened, "Let's go!"

* * *

The older Dimentio sighed as he shook his head, "How could things go so wrong. I came here to investigate the Shadow Queen..." He followed them into the lair.

The younger Dimentio713 tapped the coffin containing the Shadow Queen, "She seems to be sealed guys!"

"**No... I'm not..." **A demonic light as the candles in the room became dark fire. The Shadow Queen burst from the coffin and saw the terrified faces of the three children, **"Oh, are you confused? I was able to talk to a certain man to free me from this coffin. In exchange, I would serve him for all eternity..." **She started to laugh, **"However, once I kill the three of you, I will destroy him and begin my plans anew!"**

The older Dimentio713 gasped behind the door.

The Shadow Queen knocked all of them away, Dimentio713 with his face down the floor and Fawful212 making a trail of blood behind me and loomed over Dimentia713, who got up and shook her head.

"**Hm... The girl seems like a good vessel to use... Perhaps I should possess her."**

"Oh no you don't!" The older Dimentio713 threw his sword at her, "...Wait, that was a stupid move."

"**The man who talked to me looked quite like you." **The Shadow Queen said, glaring at Dimentio713, **"And yet... He isn't."**

"Whatever!" He re-summoned the Purity Sword in his hands, "SHADOW QUEEN! YOU WILL BE DEFEATED RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW!"

"**...I think not boy... Serve me and we shall-" **Dimentio threw his sword again.

"**IMPUDENT CHILD! PREPARE TO BE DESTROYED!" **

"NO!" Dimentia713 got up and suddenly her eyes became pink, "YOU WILL NOT HARM ANYBODY ELSE!" A psychic aura surrounded the Shadow Queen.

"**Impossible!"**

Dimentio looked at the Shadow Queen and Dimentia713. Dimentia started to sweat, "Come on..."

"You're too weak aren't you!" Dimentio realized.

"**NO!" **She grasped the boy with glasses, **"I MUST KILL YOU ALL!" **

"Fawful!" Dimentia cried out.

Dimentio713 pressed his Sonic Screwdriver and pointed it toward Dimentia713.

"Ma'am! I'm making you stronger! KEEP PUSHING!" He cried out.

Dimentia713 cried out as the Shadow Queen became smaller and smaller. The Shadow Queen started to shake.

"**HE TRICKED ME! I'M WEAKER THAN BEFORE!"**

That's when she became an orb and Dimentia713 brought her inside her body.

Fawful212's face was torn. He was bleeding profusely.

The older Dimentio713 ran up to him and he snapped his fingers, "...Of course..." They were all sent back to Dimension D.

"But why?" He shook his head and walked back to the TARDIS.

* * *

Dimentio713 was currently holding a sonic screwdriver in a orange and purple background, a green light emitted from it. Words started to pop out.

___**Kawashita yakusoku wasurenai yo  
Me o toji tashikameru  
Oshiyoseta yami furiharatte susumu yo**_

There it was. In a Black script similar to that of Comic Sans MS. Maskwitness Reviews.

___**Itsu ni nattara nakushita mirai o  
Watashi koko de mata miru koto dekiru no?**_

Dimentio713 had new clothes. What type of clothes? Well, for one thing he was pale and had a blue jacket and strangely gray eyes. Perhaps he wasn't Dimentio713, but someone else.

___**Afuredashita fuan no kage o nando de mo saite  
Kono sekai ayundekou**_

Dimentia713 was currently in cage. Her clothes were torn-up and she was crying. Interestingly enough, a purple monster was overhead, watching her. She looked up to see Dimentio713. She smiled as the purple monster fought him.

___**Mezameta kokoro wa hashiridashita mirai o egaku tame  
Muzukashii michi de tachidomatte mo  
Sora wa kirei na aosa de itsumo mattete kureru  
Dakara kowakunai  
Mou nani ga atte mo kujikenai**_

Dimentio713 was in the TARDIS and was shaking his head.

* * *

_Dimentio713 was wearing a Magical girl outfit and was facing a purple mist._

**Corrector Yui Episode 1**

* * *

Dimentio was in the TARDIS and checked the screen, "...All this time... I didn't know... I saved myself...and doomed my girlfriend." Dimentio sighed.

"...The trauma must've been too much for my child self to bear..." There was a sudden twirl.

"WHOA!"

Dimentio713 was tossed around like a rag doll, up, down, and all around. He was suddenly absorbed by the TARDIS screen.

As he got up, he groaned, "...This isn't good..." He said as he saw 0's and 1's all around him, transforming into his house...and the demons he fought with Steel.

"...And that's my cue!" Dimentio ran into the review room before the demons got him.

"...Alright, so... This thing reminds me of an anime where the main character went into the world a technology AND is a Magical Girl anime. This anime is called Corrector Yui!"

"So we start with...a very slow and gentle opening theme." Dimentio blinked, "Well... We're going on an adventure... I guess."

"So we start with our heroine, Yui talking to her dad about...a virtual reality theme park." Dimentio blinked, "Virtual reality? Isn't that kinda a flop."

* * *

_Yui: What, really Daddy?_

_Yui's Dad: Yes. Tomorrow... _

THE WORLD WILL BE MINE!

* * *

Dimentio grinned, "I'm serious! Letting everybody sit on their butt while their mind becomes mush... THAT'S GREAT!"

He blinked, "Oh right... There's nobody with a snarky comment to make toward me... Um..."

Dimentio made a high-pitched voice similar to that of Akira, "Tch, please Dimentio! Your mind becomes mush when playing Kingdom Hearts 3D!"

Dimentio grinned, "THERE WE GO!"

"So as Yui's dad tells his plan to conquer the world by transferring people's minds into a theme park where men can cross-dress, like I do, Yui is obsessed with a dress."

* * *

_Yui and Dad: Galaxy Land! The land of dreams! Galaxy Land!_

Galaxy Land! The only theme park where you can sit on your butt all day!

_Mom: Both of you! We're in the middle of breakfast!_

* * *

"So as it turns out, Yui's Dad is very dead-beat and just wants to spend time with his daughter! Um... Here's an idea... BRING HER TO A REAL AMUSEMENT PARK! Granted you have a job with computers, but who wants to sit on their butt all day doing nothing but being on their computer playing games, reading fanfiction, reading blogs and...stalking Tohokari-Steel..." Dimentio blinked, "Um... Forget I said that."

"Anyways, as they start to eat their food, we're treated to an old man who is lost in the woods and welll..."

* * *

_Old Man: Now, you are the last one, IR._

The last one?

_IR: Professor Inukai, is this really the end?_

* * *

Well, considering he's probably gonna die soon... Most likely.

"Anyways, I have to enjoy IR's simplistic design because it kinda makes sense... Though he DOES remind me that Paper Clip in Windows 2000..." Dimentio blinked, "...Oh man... Clippy... How much I wanted to...play around with you..."

He blinked, "Oh, right... Nobody to blink at me with my weird comment."

He then spoke in an awful Fawful212 voice, "Really? He's as annoying at DAL!"

He promptly spoke in DAL's voice, "NO I'M NOT!"

Dimentio went back to his normal voice, "Yeah! DAL's like 20% cooler!"

* * *

_Inukai: I entrust you with the virtual world of ComNet._

And I swear if you suck at your job, I'm putting you into 4chan!

* * *

"So Professor Inukai then states he needs one last thing. Most likely a magical girl..."

_Teacher: In order to access ComNet for the first time it's important to note the data which appears on the monitor._

So if you're busy on that Fanfiction website, you're fired.

_Teacher: Make sure you record the colon, the "at" mark, and the period. Understand?_

Dude, just say, type this in, do this stuff... Or check the Internet. Plus, these kids are in what, middle school? HOW DO THEY DO THIS STUFF!

* * *

"So it turns out the Yui is computer-illiterate, which I kinda am, but at least I know how to access that!"

* * *

_Yui: Colon? At? What the heck is that? What am I to do?_

...Really? Your dad is a tech genius! Just do what I would do! Ask him! Or at least learn some basic grammar.

_Yui: What am I to do? Whoever invented the PC?_

Konrad Zuse created the first computer, BUT you'll want to look to Steve Jobs for help on that. Of course, he's dead, so talk to Bill Gates!

* * *

"Essentially, Yui is so horrible at computers that she doesn't even know about computer words. She confuses 'access' with 'excess'."

"Anyways, the teacher is either a) an A.I. or b) is calling in sick or c) ...So. Freaking. Lazy. Heck, the class only takes like half a minute to finish. However, they have to do for homework. Now I might not be an expert at computers, but I'm pretty sure I can pass this class with flying colors!" Dimentio grinned, "Hey! She reminds me Clara...in the first few minutes of The Bells of St. John. Run you clever boy and remember!"

"Also, as it turns out, they use floppy disks in the far, far future of...20XX! Dimentio grinned, "...Okay, I know it was made in the 90's, but really, it's so funny that they think that we'll still use floppy disks!"

* * *

_Yui's Friend: Yui, I'll see you in the library!_

Don't go on any naughty sites... You know what I mean Yui! Don't go on Fanfiction or Planet Insania!

_Yui: Huh, aren't you gonna help me?_

_Haruna (Yui's Friend): I, Haruna Kisaragi, will give you, Yui Kasuga, some friendly advice._

Video streaming is impossible, talking to people online is unsafe, revealing your real name online is horrifying, and MySpace is the future!

_Haruna: Think of the computer as your friend and try finding a way to make it work._

Or you can think of it as your worst enemy and brutally kill the son of a gun!

* * *

"So instead of doing the logical thing and...going home... Yui stays there to do her 'homework' and then we see...a yellow raccoon thing..." Dimentio looked around, "Okay..."

"So as it turns out... Yui's father can't make it. Well, gee, my parents never came home... In fact, I never knew my parents." Dimentio blinked, "Yeah, I'm pretty much an orphan, but I'm sure my parents are there somewhere!" He scratched the back of his neck, "Geez, I'm sounding like a Gary Stu now..."

"Essentially, Yui is-" A demon started to beat down the door.

"This is a computer program!" Dimentio sighed as he became female, "DON'T RUN IN!" He started to shoot at the door, "Anyways, Yui's Mom says that her husband's busy. I know my mom always said my dad was busy. Well, if I had... Parents? Oh well, it's not like I'm a test tube baby or anything!"

"Oh! And here's the thing... Apparently, there's a camera phone...which uses a TV screen. That...makes no sense. There's FaceTime, but why does he hold a FREAKING PHONE!"

"So as it turns out the professor guy is driving and as it turns out there's this EVIL program that, as you guessed...wants to get these programs the professor created. He also reminds me of Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls. Well, kinda..."

(Bill: Remember, reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!)

"In response, well..."

(Car blows up with professor inside.)

(Goku: Dark)

"So not Bill, because right now he looks like Mewtwo. So I'm gonna call him MewBill summons a doggie called War Wolf."

There was a silence, "Yes I said doggie!"

"So at this threatening note we have... A 4KOMA!"

* * *

_Yui (as father): Yui, I'll take you to the amusement park tomorrow._

_Yui: Yay!_

Oh the irony!

_Yui: Rain..._

Rain, rain...STAY!

_Yui (as father): That's okay! We can have fun in the virtual reality game I created._

_Yui: Yaay!_

Hey! That's how I would describe you! A tool! Much like Fox News.

(Ba-dum-tishh!)

_Yui (as Father): Oops, I didn't finish all my work._

Like Obama!

_Yui: Aww..._

* * *

"So Yui does her homework. Or is going to go to TVTropes when her computer shuts down... OR DOES IT!"

"Actually, her computer starts to speak to her... Or IR does and he reveals one of the most useful things about the Internet... STALKING!" Dimentio looked at the door, "I wonder... Can I see Steel..."

"So IR proposes that he can send Yui to ComNet and by that, I mean KIDNAP!"

"Logically, Yui says..."

(Yui: How am I gonna get inside the computer?)

"By playing League of Legends! Okay, fine it's not inside. But it sucks you in."

"Anyways, Yui makes a magical girl pose and...goes inside ComNet. Anyways, IR explains things us...and Yui. And honestly, it makes sense why there would be an info dump. After, Yui doesn't know that MewBill, also known as Grosser, is doing all of this. And he wants to RULE THE COMPUTER WORLD!"

"...Well, I heard things that he wants more than that, but that's another episode."

"So they land in Galaxy Land and Yui wants to have fun! IR...wants to be discreet... Sadly, War Wolf notices them and changes the internal clock to make it night. Like most Pokemon players do when they want to catch certain Pokemon. ...I wonder..."

"So Yui sees her dad, but her dad doesn't see her and well... The dad and his team realize... They're screwed."

"So is this the end for our heroes? Nope, it's the beginning! Although... Yui is an idiot hero! For example!"

(Yui: Desert)

(IR: Delete! As in erase completely!)

"MORON!"

"So Yui finds out that she'll probably become comatose permanently if they don't stop Grosser's henchman.. And she has to save her father too. As they decide how to save themselves and her father, Yui comes up with the idea that they use an outfit from the park."

"The Element Suit!"

* * *

_Yui: The Element Suit! But...I guess clothing won't do us any good._

If this was an RPG, they could be some help.

_IR: YES THEY CAN! I can use my Real Scan functioning to give it various abilities and items!_

Like a magical girl!

_Yui: Then can I transform?_

Transform? YOU CAN SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING! 

_Yui: Yes, I'll do it!  
_

Well, at least she isn't making a contract with a cute alien that wants to kill everything on the planet.

_Yui: A heroine of justice has to be able to transform._

She also needs to become a Witch... Like all good magical girls.

* * *

"So IR gets the data from the Element Suit and cue...the actually pretty well animated transformation sequence. It's pretty good and honestly... I liked it!"

"So IR tells Yui how to fight... With her 'positive attitude' and her guts. So Yui does just that. But honestly, Yui just twirls her wand around and well... Does...stuff."

"So she's says her catchphrase."

(Yui: Prepare to go to the trash and be empty, empty, _emptied!)_

"Yeah... That. Anyways, she defeats War Wolf with a good animation and restores peace to Galaxy Land. So Yui still acts like a ditz when it comes to computers, which honestly makes me wonder why she says her catchphrase."

"So Yui returns to the real world and goes on to the next episode."

"What do I think of this episode? Well... I like it. I mean, it's kinda cliché, but that's alright with me! Plus, while it's blocky and the music is... Well... Dull, the series definitely is interesting... I mean, I'm excited to see more!"

"Anyways... Thanks for reading..."

A demon burst in room and Dimentio713 ran, "SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME!"

He kept running until he suddenly stopped. He was now pale and had a blue jacket, with his torso showing, and strangely gray eyes. He also had very long pants. Perhaps he wasn't Dimentio713, but someone else. He took out two kali sticks. He looked at the demon with a blank stare. He jumped over the demon and started to thrust the stick toward him. The demon tried to counterattack, but all Dimentio713 did was flip backward and hit with the sticks again.

The top of the sticks opened up and suddenly let out two bursts of energy, killing the demon.

* * *

**(Yui: Prepare to go to the trash and be empty, empty, _emptied!)_**

_Pros:_

_ Cute animation_

_Interesting introduction._

_Cons: _

_Another idiot hero..._

_Final Verdict: 7/10. It's decent. That's all I can say._

_Corrector Yui is owned by Kia Asamiya_

_____Everything else is owned by their respective owners._

* * *

Dimentio713 then woke up, back in his TARDIS.

"What was that..." He looked at the screen, "Was it a dream?"

There was a sudden rumble, "...Oh dear..."

"WHOA!" He crashlanded into his living room. He ran outside the TARDIS...which then became a dull gray.

"Geez... That'll take ages to fix..." He said looking around, "Oh, hey! I'm back at my house!" He looked around, "Hello?"

"Hello, boy."

Dimentio looked behind him to see Dimentia713 surrounded by a purple aura, "Of course... You're the-"

"**Shadow Queen."** She grinned.

* * *

**A/N: Everything is coming to a close.**


	30. Black Rock ShooterFinale

The two were staring each other down. Dimentio713 had his Purity Sword pointed at Dimentia713...or at least, now... The Shadow Queen.

"**Would you harm your girlfriend?"**

Dimentio put down his sword, "What do you want?"

"**The world will be mine once again, ruling these pathetic creatures with an iron fist. Of course, I had to set up my army in another world. Your friends made good test subjects."**

"WHAT!" Dimentio said.

"**The robot, the malshaped boy, the angry girl, the idiot and the battler. Physically, they are fine. However, their souls... I trapped them in a world. Their new bodies will complete."**

"_Not if I have anything to say about it." _Dimentio713's mouth moved.

"...Wait... What just happened?"

"_Dimentio713, run." _

...He did just that. Running toward DAL's room. He pointed his sonic screwdriver at the door and slumped over, "...What the heck is going on..." He said to himself.

"Alright. Maybe I can contact..." The lights suddenly went out, "Oh dear..." Dimentio713 got out his sonic screwdriver, again, and looked around.

"Everything is connected to DAL... Right..." He shook his head, "What can I do now?" He got his phone out, "Hm... Maybe I should make a..." Dimentio looked at his iPhone, which was dead, "...I knew I shouldn't have gone on TVTropes while in the TARDIS." He sighed.

"The Earth is doomed." He sighed as he looked down, "And I can't save my girlfriend."

"_Maybe you can." _Dimentio looked around.

"What was that noise?" He saw a lone computer screen, "Um... What?" He walked toward it.

"_Review this."_

"...Black Rock Shooter." He said.

* * *

Dimentio713 was currently holding a sonic screwdriver in a orange and purple background, a green light emitted from it. Words started to pop out.

___**Kawashita yakusoku wasurenai yo  
Me o toji tashikameru  
Oshiyoseta yami furiharatte susumu yo**_

There it was. In a Black script similar to that of Comic Sans MS. Maskwitness Reviews.

___**Itsu ni nattara nakushita mirai o  
Watashi koko de mata miru koto dekiru no?**_

Dimentio713 had new clothes. What type of clothes? Well, for one thing he was pale and had a blue jacket and strangely gray eyes. Perhaps he wasn't Dimentio713, but someone else.

___**Afuredashita fuan no kage o nando de mo saite  
Kono sekai ayundekou**_

Dimentia713 was currently in cage. Her clothes were torn-up and she was crying. Interestingly enough, a purple monster was overhead, watching her. She looked up to see Dimentio713. She smiled as the purple monster fought him.

___**Mezameta kokoro wa hashiridashita mirai o egaku tame  
Muzukashii michi de tachidomatte mo  
Sora wa kirei na aosa de itsumo mattete kureru  
Dakara kowakunai  
Mou nani ga atte mo kujikenai**_

* * *

_Dimentio713 was looking at a mirror, it was showing him in that new outfit... While Dimentio713 was in his normal clothes._

**Maskwitness Reviews: Black Rock Shooter OVA**

* * *

Dimentio713 blinked, "I'm reviewing Black Rock Shooter? But... It's been more than a year since I first saw the OVA!" Dimentio sighed, "And a year since I saw the anime."

"For those who don't know, I enjoy Black Rock Shooter. I mean, it's not my favorite anime, but Black Rock Shooter has to be one of those characters that can be in anything. And I'm not lying, trust me. She's been animated, in a manga, in video games, heck, I'd be shocked if she wasn't in a drama CD! However, my first introduction to the character...was through the fact I had a new computer. Actually, Black Gold Saw was the first character I saw. She was a Google Chrome theme... Anyways, I was interested in this character and it's been one of the series that's dear to my heart. Anyways, the OVA was on the first times I saw the character in action. Do I still like it? Maybe. Let's go into it!"

"So we start with Black Rock Shooter fight Black Gold Saw. And is this scene important? ...Not really. I'll be honest, the only reason this scene EXISTS is because... Um... It looks cool. That's the best excuse I can come up with. Also, expect most of the OVA to be half, admittedly AWESOME fight scenes, and the other half, decent dialogue."

"So the fight scene ends with Black Gold Saw...impaling Black Rock Shooter. Okay then..."

* * *

His name. Blue Blade Fighter. That's who he is. The boy who looked a lot like Dimentio713 was walking along a wasteland. He looked all around him. The crystals were starting to crack. Blue Blade Fighter jumped backward and got out his two kali sticks, pointing them at the crystal. He was ready. The crystal suddenly stopped cracking. Blue Blade Fighter looked at it. He had to be ready for anything. He was on a mission after all. He sent out a beam with his kali stick, destroying the crystal and the person inside. She looked a lot like Akira...

His right eye burned a fascinating gray flame. Where was she...

* * *

"So we're introduced to Mato, our main protagonist. Her theme is that she mostly has stars. I mean, seriously! The phone background has stars, her jacket has stars, and... Has it really been that long? I mean, I'm actually not that impressed. But maybe it has been a long time since I've seen this series."

* * *

_Mato's Mom: Huh? You're up early today._

Are we implying that she's a lazy bum?

_Mato: Yeah, I woke up before my alarm went off._

SHE SPEAKS!

_Mato's Mom: It'd be great if you were always like that._

* * *

"So we're introduced to her normal everyday life. Getting her food ready, being kinda clumsy, and more importantly... Her brother is a pain. Hey! Whoever her brother is, he reminds me of when I had to wake up... My sister? What the?"

"So when she wakes her brother up... He looks at the time...and goes immediately to sleep. Well, I kinda can say that's a truth. I know that when...Dimentia713 tries to wake me up... She..." He looked down, "...I need to save her, but how?"

* * *

The final crystal was destroyed. Blue Blade Fighter kept walking. His kali stick was still smoking and he started to storm the castle.

The demons that Dimentio713 and Steel fought noticed him. Their names? Well, let's just call them demons. That's what they are. Anyways, their eyes were glowing red. Blue Blade Fighter go into a crouching pose. He swung the kali sticks, a burst of energy coming from them, blowing the demons away.

* * *

"So Mato gets ready for school, but leaves to go someplace, and Black Rock Shooter just looks over a landscape. That's...cool, I guess... As it turns out, Mato goes to a place where she can see the town from a far off distance Honestly, I WISH I had a place like that where I live. Anyways, make note that this will be important. How important? Well, you'll see. Anyways, she immediately goes to the train station and she's off to school. But more importantly, she notices a girl getting dropped off by a car. Well, this kinda implies she's a rich character. Anyways, this is Yomi Takanashi, which Mato reads as Kotori-asobi. But enough about that, here's BRS! And she's...walking...through out a lot of areas. Well, that'll take pretty long."

"So Mato introduces herself to Yomi by...talking about her height?"

* * *

_Mato: That's it! Your height!_

...She's tall? Um... That's an interesting fact, but just that.

_Yomi: My height?_

_Mato: You're really tall. That's awesome._

"People take advantage of my height all the time! Dimentia713... She...doesn't like getting certain objects because she's not as tall as me..."

_Mato: Now that I think of it, I saw you come in by a car! I'm so impressed that those kinds of people actually exist._

I'm impressed that you're easily impressed.

_Yomi: I told my father that he didn't have to, but he insisted._

Well, I like the availability of being in a car. I wish I could drive...

_Yomi: So it's just for today._

"So as it turns out, Yomi lives in the same neighborhood as Mato and I have a gut feeling they'll be best friends!"

_Mato: Oh so that's why..._

_Yomi: What?_

_Mato: I'd definitely remember if someone with a rare name like Kotoriasobi lived nearby._

...Actually...

_Yomi: (laughs) It's Takanashi._

* * *

Dimentio smiled, "I like this scene. It just portrays that they're practically best friends. It's a REALLY cute scene. I mean, it's like when I...first met Dimentia713..."

* * *

A very young Dimentio713 was running through the streets of Dimension D, laughing. He had a cute little bowtie and very fancy dress... What? It just ups the moe!

A younger version of Dimentia713, looking a lot like Kay Faraday when she was younger, with her hair spiked up wearing a pink schoolgirl's outfit.

Dimentio713 was laughing while Dimentia713 was just walking along. That's when they bumped into each other.

"Ow!" They both cried out.

"Oh! Sorry!" Dimentio713 said, clearly embarrassed.

"It's alright! I'm fine!" Dimentia713 said with a cheeky grin, "I'm Amily." She took out her hand.

"...You can call me Agimat!" Dimentio713 said shaking Amily's hand, "...That's a weird name..."

"Oh, like Agimat isn't a weird name?" Amily chuckled.

"...It isn't!" Agimat said outloud, "I gave myself that name! It's a cool name!"

"Right..." Amily smiled, "So... Wanna hang out more?"

* * *

Dimentio sighed, "...Amily..." He said, "We met when we were eight years old... Fawful212 was seven back then... We also find out that Yomi was from Germany."

Blue Blade Fighter had cleared the room from all the demons. He looked around, where was she...

"So Mato and Yomi are talking about the clubs they're planning to attend and we just get... DARN IT! WHY IS THIS ANIME GIVING WARM FUZZY FEELINGS!" Dimentio shook his head, "Anyways..."

* * *

_Mato: Have you decided on a club yet?_

_Yomi: No, I'm still having trouble deciding. What about you Mato?_

_Mato: The basketball club. I decided a while ago that I'd join it when I got into junior high._

That's great! You have a goal! I have a goal!

* * *

Dimentio pointed at the screen, "TO BECOME A DEFENSE ATTORNEY! Much like Mr. Wright. Speaking of Mr. Wright, I haven't heard from him for a while...but I have heard he used forged evidence. But Mr. Wright never uses that! So Mato and Yomi talk about whether or not that Yomi should do basketball and honestly, it reminds me of when I talk to my...friends. Like when I was talking to Fawful212 about society! Or BKFood with politics. ...Yeah, he's politically savvy. Weird, huh? So BRS is running and we switch scenes?"

* * *

Blue Blade Fighter was running throughout the castle, jumping from place to place. He kept running.

* * *

_Mato: What's your best subject, Yomi?_

Mine is English! ...Although, I hate Crime and Punishment.

_Mato: English?_

_Yomi: Not really. It's not like German at all._

I can attest to that!

_Yomi: I wouldn't say that I'm good at it, but I kind of like math._

Like how I like US History, but I'm far from good at it.

_Mato: So there are people who actually like math._

Not me!

* * *

"So they continue talking about and BRS notices a castle in front of her. The resident? Well, you'll see... But first we're greeted to STRength. And enjoy that scene because she's really pointless."

"So Mato just does basketball and Yomi... Well, she's obviously gonna do volleyball!"

"We see Black Rock Shooter walk in the castle while an imposing figure is watching her every move. Gee, will that be important!"

"So even more cute scenes with Mato and Yomi occur and well... Um..."

(Mato: I love you, Yomi!)

"Um... Platonic love, right?"

"So Yomi joins volleyball and then we're greeted to...Dead Master. I have to admit, this scene just exudes awesome!"

* * *

Dimentia713 was in cage while another version of her, who was in white frills with purple hair, was sitting down on a throne. However, it was a lot more revealing than what she would normally wear, for one thing, the white frills were just covering the important parts, and only those...and she had a crown on top of her. Her name: Masked Princess. Oddly enough, a purple shadow seemed to be behind her. As if it was controlling her.

Dimentia713 sighed, "It's been ten months..." She said to herself, "...Isn't anybody gonna save me? Oy! Can somebody let me go now!"

Masked Princess stood up as Blue Blade Fighter entered the room. She sneered.

Blue Blade Fighter spun his kali sticks.

Masked Princess took off her crown, making it into a spiky disk. She threw it at Blue Blade Fighter.

* * *

"So Mato and Yomi hang out somemore and they run off because Mato wants to show Yomi something. Please nothing perverted! However, it seems that Black Rock Shooter has just been attacked by Dead Master and they begin to fight...and we're immediately cut to where Mato shows Yomi the place where they can see the whole town! COP OUT!"

* * *

_Yomi: You really love this town, don't you Mato?_

_Mato: Yeah! I love it!_

Not as much as you! ...What?

_Mato: Well, it is the town I was born and raised in._

_Yomi: I envy you. I've always moved around a lot when I was young._

I like being in one place to be honest...

_Mato: Stay here forever. I don't want you to go._

* * *

"So Mato shows Yomi a charm for her phone and it just implies that that matching cell phone straps are very nice. I remember when I used to have those. And then I got an iPhone. Yeah, it kinda sucks how those have become defunct. I had a couple of Winnie-the-Pooh ones. Don't know what happened to them though."

"BACK TO THE FIGHT SCENE!"

"AND I HAVE TO SAY THAT IT'S AWESOME! I MEAN, DEAD MASTER AND BLACK ROCK SHOOTER ARE LIKE CLASHING! THE ROCK CANNON IS HITTING DEAD SYCTHE LIKE AWESOME! AND...AND.. It's awesome! Also, we see STRength looking at a landscape."

"So Yomi and Mato are just hanging out, being friends and I like the rock piece that's a part of this scene. It's awesome!"

* * *

Blue Blade Fighter jumped away from the attack. Masked Princess growled as she leapt off her throne. She quickly summoned even more spinning blade disks and threw them at Blue Blade Fighter. Blue Blade Fighter replied with two swipes.

Dimentia713 watched the fight continue.

"Come on... D-man..."

* * *

"So we meet Yuu, who in the anime is actually a nice girl, but in the OVA... She's kinda mean. But that's not important! As it turns out, Yuu came because Mato twisted her leg. And is it me, or is Yomi becoming a Yandere? Even worse, they're both in a different class. I would say who wants to bet that something bad will happen, but considering I have no way to go outside..."

"Speaking of which, why hasn't the Shadow Queen tried to attack me?"

* * *

"**STOP THAT!" **

"No can do demon!" Failed Cranial Surgery Amoeba cried out as he kept hitting Dimentia713, "I HAVE TO PROTECT DIMENTIO713!"

"**IT'S ANNOYING!"**

* * *

"So Yomi and Mato try to keep being friends, but I have a gut feeling something bad is gonna happen. Anyways, as it turns out Yuu is in the same class as Mato. So, who wants to bet that Yuu will take Yomi's place in Mato's heart. Most likely not, but still. So Yuu pretty much talks to Mato about basketball and honestly, I don't know if I should like Yuu."

* * *

Even more disks were summoned, courtesy of Masked Princess, she threw them like a Frisbee. One, two, three.

Blue Blade Fighter dodged one, two, three. He was all set to dodge another one when it turned out that they all hit a pillar. The three started to beep.

_One, two, three! _

The pillar started to topple over, Blue Blade Fighter saw the pillar and got out his kali sticks. One, two, three swipes.

That's when the fourth disk hit Blue Blade Fighter's backside. The pillar was falling. Blue Blade Fighter was falling toward the falling pillar.

Masked Princess grinned. The top of a kali stick opened. It sent out a burst of energy. Blue Blade Fighter took out the disk and threw it at the Masked Princess.

* * *

"So Yomi becomes extremely jealous of Mato and Yuu's friendship...and gets taken away by this odd dark mist."

"...That's not good."

"Meanwhile, back in the Otherworld, yes that's what I'm calling it now, the battle rages on. And honestly, I love it. It's so awesome! Also, BRS destroys some of the skulls."

"So Yomi is gone, but they think it's just something for the house. And Mato texts Yomi:"

(Text: What happened to you today? I'm worried because you didn't tell me anything. But I don't mind, it's okay. See you tomorrow!)

"So Yomi is officially missing and there are apparently detectives involved in this. Hey, Gumshoe can help! ...No... No, he can't."

* * *

_Detective 1: I assume your mother already told you over the phone, but Takanashi Yomi-san's parents have filed a missing persons report for her._

_Detective 2: We received it last night. _

_Detective 1: She hasn't been back home since she left for school yesterday._

This really brings out the "Adult Fear" trope. I mean, if my parents found out I was missing, I don't know what would happen.

_Detective 1: According to our investigation, she did in fact leave school that evening. However, we don't have any idea where she went after that._

She's kidnapped! By her other self! That'll be good in court!

_Detective 1: At this point, we don't know whether she got caught up in some incident,_

It's called jealousy.

_Or whether she left of her own accord. In other words, she may have simply run away._

...Oh dear...

_Mato: Yomi... Yomi would never run away from home._

* * *

"So the detectives keep questioning her. However, she just breaks down and cries. Back to the Otherworld, BRS is running toward Dead Master in another fight scene. And the soundtrack is AWESOME! Oh yeah, it's great... Also, Dead Master can control chains... Cool."

* * *

The Masked Princess was tossed back, freeing her from the Shadow Queen ...And the Shadow Queen, in all her glory glared at Blue Blade Fighter.

Blue Blade Fighter took out his kali sticks and spun them once more... This time, they became actual swords... Two copies of the Purity Sword. The Shadow Queen loomed over Blue Blade Fighter as his eye glowed again. He jumped up and the Shadow Queen sent out chains. The two Purity Swords sliced and diced at them. The tips of the swords touched and the Purity Sword sent out a beam.

The Shadow Queen snapped her fingers, will-o-wisps were sent toward Blue Blade Fighter. The Purity Sword sliced at one.

The Masked Princess got up, massaging her head. She saw the Shadow Queen and Blue Blade Fighter. Her eyes opened up.

Dimentia713 looked at her, "What's up." She greeted her Other Self.

Masked Princess blinked.

* * *

_Student 1: Did you hear about Takanashi?_

_Student 2: I did. They say she's gone. Could she have been...abducted._

Maybe, maybe not.

"So Yomi is still missing and Yuu tries to comfort Mato. I think."

_Yuu: Mato. Cheer up. Yomi will be back soon enough._

Yeah, I mean, it's not like she's been abducted by her other self. That's silly!

_Yuu: I'm sure she has her reasons._

Yeah, yandere-ism!

_Yuu: You don't actually believe it's your fault, do you? There's no way it would be. So stop feeling so down._

Actually, Yuu... It's your's.

"So Mato gets a text from Yomi... That says nothing, odd."

_Mato's Mom: Mato, where are you going?_

_Mato: Yomi. ...I'm going to where Yomi is._

* * *

"So Mato goes to where Mato was in the beginning, but she can't find Yomi. What a shame. BUT... Well..."

* * *

_Mato: (Finds Yomi's phone charm) Where are you Yomi? Where are you?_

* * *

"So Mato gets taken up. Meanwhile, Black Rock Shooter is chained up by the Dead Master. Implying that she wants Black Rock Shooter all to herself. But BRS breaks free. And what is the final attack BRS uses? A hug. And that defeats Dead Master, leaving behind... YOMI!"

"That's right, the Otherworld scenes take place after the real world scenes. However, the castle is falling down."

"Meanwhile, in the past, Mato finds herself in a blue space."

* * *

_Mato: What is...this place?_

Oh cool! A light instrumental of Black Rock Shooter!

_BRS: I want to help her. The person you cherish. The person who cherishes you. _

_Mato: You mean Yomi? Where's Yomi? I don't just want to help her..._

Oh dear, all my feels...

_Mato: I want to walk alongside her again! I want to laugh with her again! I want to see Yomi right now!  
_

_BRS: I see..._

_Mato: Who are you?_

_Mato: Just who are you?_

* * *

Dimentio713 grinned, "She is...Black Rock Shooter."

Dimentio sighed, "So after the credits, Yomi is safe, but something is wrong with Yuu. But we'll never find out. Because the anime...is a lot better."

"Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the OVA, but still... The anime has a better story. But hey, I like it! Anyways, I guess this is it."

"_No."_

* * *

Blue Blade Fighter stabbed the Shadow Queen through the eyes. It screamed. Blue Blade Fighter suddenly became Dimentio713.

"The job's all done!" He said in a teasing tone of voice.

Blue Blade Fighter replaced Dimentio713's place, he looked at Masked Princess and Dimentia713.

Dimentia713 smiled, "Thanks D-man." She hugged Blue Blade Fighter as Blue Blade Fighter and Dimentio713 were separated. Now she was hugging Dimentio713

Masked Princess looked at Blue Blade Fighter and smiled at him.

Blue Blade Fighter smiled back. ...And they kissed.

* * *

Dimentio was suddenly in a blue-ish place, "Um... Hello?"

Blue Blade Fighter looked at Dimentio713, "You want to save her, don't you?"

Dimentio looked up, "You're talking about Dimentia713, huh? WELL, OF COURSE!" He pointed at Blue Blade Fighter, "I HAVE TO! I LOVE HER!"

Blue Blade Fighter nodded, "Very well then. My name is Blue Blade Fighter."

"The name's Dimentio713!" Dimentio713 pointed at himself, "Now then, where is she!"

* * *

_Pros:_

_Fight scenes very well crafted_

_The scenes are in a very...different way of telling the story (which is a lot better than Man of Steel)_

_Some scenes are SO adorable._

_Cons: _

_Doesn't hook you in as much as the anime does._

_The beginning is kinda slow_

_Final Verdict: 8/10. I liked it and I'm happy it introduced me to Black Rock Shooter. It's actually a nice tale._

* * *

The moon was over Dimentio713's house.

Dimentio713 put his hands in his pockets, "...That's how I saved Dimentia713!"

Mecha smiled, "That's great!"

"Anyways, I gotta go to sleep... I'm gonna sleep in the review room again, alright?"

Mecha nodded, "Okay."

Dimentia713 watched the scene and started to walk away. Has it really been ten months. It must have. How is her family. Both within the Maskwitness Household and the others in Toad Town. She kept walking.

The Shadow Queen was gone now, yes... But now... She looked at her gloved hand, she took off the glove. After all this time...

"It's gone..." She said, "...According to DAL, I'm the reincarnation of Black's wife..." She looked at her room. She looked at an already prepared bag of luggage.

"You're leaving again?" Mecha said, leaning against the door.

"Yeah." Dimentia713 said, "Sorry."

"Make a clone. Dimentio713 will be worried..." Mecha said, "Plus, don't come to the house on November 14..."

"What happens then?"

Mecha shook his head, "Chaos. November 14... That's when it all ends. The reason I'm here. My purpose will be complete. After all this time."

Dimentia713 nodded, "Alright."

"...My sight's worsened..." She said.

Mecha's eyes rose, "What!?

Dimentia713 grinned, "Don't worry! I have glasses with me right now!" She got up and put her luggage on her shoulder. She snapped her fingers, making a clone of her.

"Take care of everyone, alright?" She told the clone, "See you later Mecha!"

Mecha smiled as he waved at her. Mecha pressed a button on the palm of his hand.

_Gravity Falls Theme_

Mecha walked away toward DAL's room. He saw DAL was in sleeping mode. He nodded. He pressed a button. A keyboard popped out. He typed in the following sentence.

**Anino713 is not Dimentio713.**

A door opened. He walked in. There was desk and pictures everywhere, all with titles underneath. The Search for the Plot, where he was with Planet Insania, Turnabout Summer, where he was smiling with Phoenix Wright, Maya and Pearl Fey, Tohokari-Steel, Miles Edgeworth, Dimentio713 and Dimenta713, Maskwitness Reviewers, which had the aforementioned team. He looked at one frame and sighed, "Here we go..."

He looked behind him.

On the other side, there were three letters. One to Dimentia713, one to Mechamentio713, and the other to Tohokari-Steel. He looked at the one addressed to him. He looked at a clock.

**November 14: 99 Days, 4 Hours, 24 Minutes.**

He sighed, "Here we go."

* * *

**A/N: As Maskwitness Reviews comes to a close, I have to thank everybody who supported me. I have to thank Planet Insania for being there for me. What's going to happen on November 14? ...That's an unknown. But know this... I will finish Turnabout Summer. I'm almost done. I hope you guys had fun reading this as I had typing this.**


End file.
